


Hot Harleys and Cool Vampires

by petersgirl



Category: Sons of Anarchy, Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer, Twlight - Fandom
Genre: Action, Bike Sex, Bikers, Crossover, Drama, F/M, Love, Multi, SAMCRO - Freeform, Sexual Content, Smut, Threesomes, Vampires, motorcycle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-01
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-02-03 01:29:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 32
Words: 158,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1726217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petersgirl/pseuds/petersgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Edward Cullen and his family leaves, Bella is sent to live with her mom. Bella learns that it's not only vampires that are dangerous when she meets Jackson Teller, SAMCRO. The Cullens want back in her life.  But Jax is a part of that now and thing will get complicated. They will be in their true form of vampires and bikers.  CROSSOVER</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **********I do not own any of the characters; they belong to who they belong to. No copy right intended. This story is rated mature. It contains profanity, violence and adult situations.********

**BELLAS POV**

Charlie just couldn't take it anymore. Me walking around in a daze and dyeing a little more inside every day. I was being sent to stay with my Mom in Arizona for a while. Not that I blame him. To be honest I couldn't stand myself anymore either. I stopped existing the day that Edward Cullen and his family walked out of my life.

That day changed me forever. I basically lost the will to want to live or even try to anymore. I walk around throughout the day, not even completely sure of what is going on around me. I stopped caring about what life held for me when they left. My nights when I could actually sleep, are haunted by Edward. Dreams or nightmares they have all become the same for me.

Everyone has already given up and abandoned me except three people Charlie, Jacob and Angela. Well I guess there is only two people left now that can stand to be around me.

When I went into the bathroom, I took a hard look at myself in the mirror. What I saw staring back at me was horrible. I have lost so much weight, my hair was so dull. Not that it really matters anyway; I always wear it in a pony tail and some days I don't even comb it.

But it was my eyes that scared me. The same ones that use to show so much happiness and love. They are now just black holes of nothing. Showing me I have no love left in me to give to anybody, including myself.

Going back to packing up my things. I took a look around the room to see if I had forgotten anything, then I saw the rocking chair. The same rocking chair where Edward had spent so many nights watching me sleep. I felt like I couldn't breathe and the tears were coming again.

Going outside to get some air. I promised myself that I had shed my last tear over someone who didn't love me or never really did. I have broken that promise over and over again.

Jacob came over to see me before I left. He is the only person that I really seem to relate to anymore. He knows my whole truth, along with the sorrows and the burdens I carry with it. I don't know how I will get through the summer without him. He didn't want me to go but I told him maybe a change in scenery would be just what I needed. At least there would not be a constant reminder of Edward ever where I turned.

Jacob hugged me and made me promise that I would call him every day while I was gone. He was worried that I will be unprotected without him and another vampire will find me.

"Don't worry Jake. Unless Arizona stops being sunny, I think I'm safe."

It's not like I will never back here. It's only going to be until school starts this fall. Besides I have missed my mom and Phil. This would give me time to spend with them, or at least that is what I keep telling myself.

Cooking dinner for Charlie one last time, something else I haven't done much of lately. I wanted to do this for him. I feel horrible for all the hell I have put him through. He tried his hardest to help me. But I could never tell him the truth. So there is no way he would ever understand what I'm going through.

There is no one that I could ever tell any of the truth to or share my secrets with any person other than Jacob. I have lived a lie for over a year now. Keeping up the façade of false pretenses, never knowing where the truth starts and lies end. Pretending that one more lie will justify hiding the truth, just like the Cullens taught me to do.

The phone rang and it was my mom. There was a change in plans. Phil just signed with a ball club in California. She was so happy and excited. They have been waiting for him to get this offer for so long.

Renee is going to meet me there after she had the loose ends tied up. She had already changed my ticket without even asking me. I would be staying with a friend of hers, Mary Winston, from high school.

Charming was where she had spent most of her senior year until Grand Dad had a work transfer. They moved here to Forks, Washington. Shortly after moving she met my dad and they were married, because she was pregnant with me.

It did make me kind of nervous going to a new place where I know no one again. It was like a repeat of Forks all over. But, I have nothing to stay here for anymore so I guess it really doesn't matter.

Charlie was not thrilled about Renee changing plans at the last-minute. But, I convinced him it would be fine. I am going to miss him so much. I have always had to take care of my mom and she liked to pretend that I was her sister instead of her daughter. At least that is what she wanted everyone to believe.

Charlie is a good dad, a care giver just like me. All the things that he has done for me and the way he has taken care of me, I will never forget it.

**(****)**

Mary met me at the airport just like mom said she would. She was very kind to me and settled. Completely the opposite of what Renee is. She seemed to behave more like a real mother should.

She gave me her spare bedroom and told me to make myself at home. I was exhausted from the flight and it was really hot here today. After taking a cool shower I must have dozed off because Mary woke me up knocking on the door.

"Bella I have to go to work, I work the night shift. I have not had a chance to go to the market yet, so I'm going to leave the keys to the truck for you. If you want you can go into town and get something to eat. It's an old fixer upper but, it was cheap."

We went out to the garage; the truck was probably only ten years old. If she considers this old, then she would think mine was from the Stone Age.

"Thanks Mary and I will take good care of it."

Brushing my hair and putting on some makeup trying to hide the bags and dark circles under my eyes. I drove around for a while, this place is similar to Forks in a small town way. I found a place to eat, it was full of families.

The food wasn't bad. I spent time just reading my book and watching happy families interacting with one another. I paid the check and went to leave.

Parking down the street a ways from the restaurant. I had to walk past four men sitting on their motorcycles to get back to the truck. They all had on matching leather and looked kind of scary. The one got off his bike.

"Well hello there, I haven't seen you around here before."

He started walking around me. "Because honey, I would have remembered you."

My heart started beating faster and I was trying to get around him. It reminded me of the night that Edward had saved me from those men.

The one with blond hair got off his bike too. "Tig, knock it the fuck off, you're scaring her. Sorry about that, you will have to excuse him because he's mentally retarded."

Walking as fast as I could to get to the truck. I got in and it wouldn't start. I sighed, why does my life have to be one big cluster fuck? The blond one was standing by the truck door.

"Are you having car trouble?"

"I don't really know."

He opened the door and I moved away from him. He looked confused about why I did that. "Relax, I'm not gonna hurt you."

He grabbed the lever and popped the hood. The others came over. I got out too; he was trying to help me by seeing what was wrong with the truck. Do I don't think he meant me any harm. They thought it might need a new alternator.

"If you want I can fix it when the garage is open. Is there any body you can call to come and get you?"

"No, there is no one that I can call. This isn't even my truck, it belongs to Mary Winston.

"How do you know Mary?"

After telling him about coming here to stay with her until my mom gets here. His best friends is Mary's son, Opie.

He walked over to his bike. "Are you coming or not?"

I just stood there; I wasn't sure about leaving with him. What if he did try to hurt me? He got on his bike and patted the seat.

"I know Mary will not be off work until morning, I can't just leave you here."

"Put this on and hold on."

He gave me his helmet and told the others to go ahead and go; he would meet them back at the clubhouse.

The ride was scary, I was clutching on to his leather for dear life. As I was watching the pavement zoom by, I swear I saw Edward's face. I heard him in my head saying you promised you wouldn't do anything dangerous.

Needless to say it was totally freaking me out and I wanted to have a panic attack. But I was so scared from the ride that I told myself to wait until I could touch the ground to have a nervous break down.

He wasn't lying about knowing Mary. He never asked for directions and we pulled into her drive way. He shut off the engine.

"You can let go of me now."

"Sorry about that and thank you for bring me here.

"My name is Jax, what's yours?"

He got my cell phone number. He was going to tow Mary's truck and fix for her at no charge. He said once it was fixed he would call me. Then he would send someone to pick me up to come and get it.

Walking to the house when Jax yelled. "Hey."

He pointed to his head. "I'm gonna need that back."

What a dork I must have looked like. I took the helmet off and handed it back to him.

"I'll see you tomorrow Bella."

Telling myself that I wasn't tired and after spending the last three hours thinking about what happened tonight. I still had Edward in my head and couldn't get him out of it . I was afraid to close my eyes. I was doing anything not to fall asleep.

Doing some of Mary's house work; it was the least that I could do for her letting me stay here. She had a photo album out on her desk, it was opened already. As I flipped through it, it contained the same three couples; Piney and Mary, JT and Gemma and Clay and Renee.

My mother looked so young and beautiful. She never mentioned having a boyfriend named Clay. But then again she has had so many, that maybe he meant nothing to her.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed reading me. This story will contain my favorite hot boys.  
**

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**BELLAS POV**

When I woke up I could smell bacon cooking. I showered and got dressed. Mary had made breakfast for me. Food usually had no appeal to me but, it smelled so good.

"Sit down Bella and eat. Thank you for clean the house. That was a nice surprise to come home to."

Telling her what had happened with the truck and she had a horrified look on her face. "Bella, you need to be careful about being around Jax or any of them for that matter. If you knew all the things that they have done to my son and my family you would think twice about even talking to them."

Mary cleared the table off and I kept trying to talk to her about what she had said about Jax. But she kept changing the subject. So I figured that it was best left alone.

Mary went to run some errands before going to work and I was sitting on the back deck reading enjoying the sun. Forks wasn't exactly the place to have a lot of hot sunny days.

My cell rang and it was Jax letting me the truck was done. He was sending someone to come and get me. A tow truck pulled up to the curb in front of the house and a young guy came to the door.

"Are you Bella? I'm Half Sac and Jax sent me. I need to take you to the garage for a pickup."

He was really nice and kind of funny. I felt comfortable around him. An emotion that I haven't had in so long, maybe coming here was a good thing.

Half Sac was always referring to himself as their grunt boy, whatever that meant. He wanted to take his lunch break before going back to the garage or he wouldn't get to eat. He even offered to buy my lunch.

We sat and talked for a long time. I couldn't believe someone who had majored in Philosophy would end up being a mechanic. But he insisted that he loved his life and wouldn't change a thing.

His girlfriend that he called his old lady, Cherry, was going to be out of town for the next couple of days.

"Since you don't know anybody Bella we could just hang out as friends if you want to? There is a movie that I've wanted to see but Cherry told me it was dumb and she wasn't going, so if you want we can go see it tonight?"

"Thank you, I would love to go."

When we walked into the garage, Mary was there on the other side of it yelling at Jax.

"I don't want anything from you people. I will pay for it. Leave me the hell alone and stay away from Bella too. I would hate to think what would happen to her if one of you sick bastards got your claws in her. She would be on the same path her mother was."

"I was just trying to help. You don't have to be pissy about it. Fine if you want to pay, go see Gemma. I really don't give a fuck. But, I wasn't just going to leave Bella there with no way to get home."

Half Sac started laughing. "You've only been here a day and already causing trouble. You'll fit in just fine. Come on I'll take you on a tour."

He took me inside the clubhouse. There were a lot of guys that were staring at me and making comments.

Half Sac grabbed my hand."Don't worry, I'll protect you. They are pretty much harmless."

"Pretty much?"

At the bar Jax was talking to an old guy that was smoking a cigar. When he saw us he walked over.

"Hey, grunt get back to work."

"I'll see you tonight Bella. I will pick you up after work."

"I don't see how you're gonna do that when you have to work late tonight."

"Why would I have to work late, there isn't anything for me to do?"

Jax lit a smoke. "Cause, I said so."

A lady came in and walked up to Jax. "What the hell did you do to Mary? She bitched at me for the last twenty minutes."

"I didn't do anything, I was just trying to be nice and she went off on me."

"Who's she?" Jax introduced us.

Gemma, his mom, asked what I was going to do while I was here. Since I don't really know, I figured I would get a part-time job to help fill in my time of doing nothing.

"Would you be interested in babysitting for my grandson during the day?"

It sounded good until I could get something else even though I hadn't babysit since I was thirteen.

"Come by tomorrow and you can start by doing some house cleaning for me. We have to get it ready for the baby to come home."

**(****)**

The house was totally disgusting; Gemma told me she would pay me well for doing it. She was having new carpet put in and some painting done before they brought the baby into it.

Time must have gotten away from me, I looked at my cell phone and it was almost midnight. I was getting ready to go when I heard the front door open.

"Bella, are you still here?" Jax walked around the corner.

"I was getting ready to leave."

He walked through the house. "Wow this place is clean. Cleaning was never one of my ex-wife's strong points. If it didn't involve doing drugs or partying she wasn't into it."

Jax left behind me and locked the door. "Don't you live here?"

He seemed distant. "I used to, but after I split with my old lady, Wendy, she stayed here. She's living in a sober safe living facility the last I knew."

He got on his bike. "Able was born premature with other problems and he had to stay in the hospital for almost three months. I have only been here once since then. My mom has taken care of him for the last week at her house. It's time for me to come home; be a man and take care of my son."

"Have you ate yet?" I shook my head no.

"Why don't you follow me, I know a place that is open all night." I followed him back to the Club House. It was quiet with no one around.

Jaxs got in the frig. "So what do you feel like a sandwich, pizza or it looks like there is left over chicken?"

"I don't care whatever is fine with me."

There was so many questions I wanted to ask but, I didn't want him to think I was being nosey.

"What are the matching leathers that everybody wears?"

He told me about SAMCRO and how his father was the one who had founded it. But he died when Jax was young. His step father has been the President of the club ever since.

The biggest think I wanted to know about was what Mary meant about my mom taking a path. But when I asked; Jax said he had never heard about Renee before I came here and had no idea what Mary was talking about.

We talked for hours about his life, his son and my life too. It felt like we are both carrying around a lot of sorrow and burdens. It was around five in the morning and my eyes were getting heavy.

"Come on Bella you can sleep in my room and I'll take the couch."

Apparently Jax had not been sleeping a lot either lately and having company through the night was great. I knew all to well about doing anything not to close your eyes because of being afraid of what you would see when you do.

Going down the hallway we passed a motorcycle that was under a light. It was a turquoise and cream colored Harley. Jax touched it.

"This was my dads." He seemed so emotional right now as he stood there looking at it.

There were doors on every side of the hall we were going down, he went to the last one.

"You can sleep in here."

Jax went in and moved the stuff that was scattered around on the bed. Opening the dresser drawer, he took out a black SAMCRO t-shirt and handed it to me.

"Jaxs, why are you being so nice to me?"

"I was gonna ask you the same thing."

It had a small bathroom too, I went in and changed. When I came out, Jaxs was sitting on the bed.

"I have a run next weekend and it's just gonna be me going. If you don't have anything going on, maybe you could go along?"

He must have seen the look on my face. "It's okay, you probably have someone who would be upset if you did."

"No, I don't have anyone. But, would it have to be on your motorcycle?"

He laughed. "That's how I roll Bella. You could ride with me here until you get use to it." I wouldn't ever get used to it if I saw Edwards face every time I was on it.

Waking up to loud yelling. When I walked in the bar Mary was furious.

"I can't believe the first night here and you already nailed it Jax. I told you to stay the hell away from Bella. She is only eighteen you know."

"I didn't do anything with her. It was late and she slept in my room."

"Right you didn't do anything; Bella is standing there in your shirt. You know what; I am still trying to put all that Donna shit behind me. Bella, I want you out of my house. I don't want anything to do with anyone that is around them. I can't take any more of this shit."

Mary walked out the door and didn't want to listen to anything I had to say. I went back to the room to get dressed. I was going to have to leave here. The only place I had to go was back to Forks.

Jaxs knocked. "Can I come in?"

"Sure, it's your room."

Jax took ahold of my hand and led me to the bed. "You don't have to leave, you can stay here. I'm sorry that I caused problems for you with Mary. You're gonna be watching my son; I have a spare room at the house and you can use it as long as you want." I felt the tears coming. Why does my life have to be so much all the time?

Jax held me while I cried. I cried because I was confused about life, for still loving Edward and for the pain I felt when Jaxs talked to me last night. His pain and mine seemed so similar.

Gemma came in. "Everything alright kids? Don't let Mary upset you, she hates us all. That same hate has turned her bitter. We'll get shit straight; you can stay with us for a while."

In the hall I could hear Gemma talking to Jaxs. "Jackson what are you doing?"

"I'm not doing anything with Bella. I haven't fucked her. How many more times do I have to say that? Besides it's none of your business if I did."

Gemma got a little louder. "That's what worries me, you haven't fucked her. So what's the hookup with you two?"

"I don't have time for this shit. I'm gonna go to work." I waited until I made sure they were gone before I came out.

**(****)**

They gave me a car to drive. Gemma wanted me to go to the storage unit and get anything that would be useful for Abel. She told me to take anything that I wanted for myself because some day she was just going to throw it all away.

There were tons of stuff for Abel I found. Then I came across a box marked JT Teller. There were pictures and documents inside. I also found a manuscript by John Thomas Teller, The Life and Death of SAMCRO. I grabbed it; since Gemma said I could have anything that I wanted. Maybe if I read it I would understand where Jax was coming from better.

My next stop was Mary's house to get my things. She wouldn't even talk to me. I tried to call Renee to let her know what happen but, she didn't answer my call so I left her a message to call me back.

Jax called and were to meet at the house to unload the stuff I picked up. I arrived first so I went in and sat down on the couch. I started reading the manuscript. The first page didn't make any sense to me.

The more I read, the more I didn't want to put it down. I hadn't even noticed that Jax had come in. I was so moved by his Dad's words.

Jax looked curious "What's that?"

"Your Dad was such a methodical and poetic man."

"What are you talking about?" I handed it to him.

"Where did you get this?"

"I found it in storage when I was getting things for Able. Your Mom told me I could have whatever I wanted from there."

He started flipping through it. "Does Gemma know you have this?" I shook my head no.

"Don't tell her."

We spent the rest of the night into the early morning reading, passing the pages back and forth between us. He never knew this side of his dad or about most of the things that were written about.

We talked about how Jax thought he could make changes to the club that would make SAMCRO better and stronger. But at certain times he was guarded. I could tell that he was as used to having a mask to hide the truth as much as I was.

Some questions I would ask, Jax would ignore or say that only gets discussed at church. Listening to them talk; it's like they have a language all of their own that outsiders aren't supposed to know about. I knew this to well too from being around the Cullens.

Jaxs got up from the couch and stretched. "I'm exhausted; do you want to sleep here tonight?"

"Sure why not."

He took my hand and led me to his bedroom. "Don't worry I'll behave. I just thought we could catch a few hours before going to the garage."

When we laid down together, he stayed on his side of the bed. He took my hand in his. "Thank you Bella. It means so much to me reading that and having a true friend I can talk to."

When we woke up Jaxs was still holding on to my hand but, it was 10:00 am. Jax jumped out bed.

"Shit, we gotta go. How fast can you shower?"

**(****)**

We were out the door in twenty minutes. He gave me his helmet and I knew that meant getting back on his bike. This ride wasn't as bad as the first time. But I thought about Edward again. When is he ever going to get out of my head? When am I ever going to be free from him?

We walked into the garage and everyone was making comments and hollering. "Go boy."

Tig came up to me and Jaxs. "So how was the Nanny fantasy Brother?"

"Bella can you go get me a cup of coffee?"

When I came back out Jax had Tig by the throat up against the wall. "If you go near her, you'll deal with me. She is not like that."

"If anybody comes near Bella, they will deal with me." He grabbed his cup of coffee and went into the clubhouse.

Playing with Abel under the tree that was at the side of the clubhouse. Gemma came out to see how things were going.

"I see you're a natural with babies. But, I want you to start watching Abel at the house, okay? Jax needs to take you to the car so we can strap the car seat in it that I bought for him. I'll watch Abel until you get back."

Half Sac was arguing with a girl when I walked in the garage. "It's not like that Cherry. I was just having lunch with her."

"Is that her? Because I will cut you Bitch." I went to take a step back when I stepped on someone and almost fell.

Jaxs caught me and had his arms wrapped around me. "Prospect, you need to check your old lady. Come on Bella, let's go get the car."

Another damn bike ride, only we were going in a direction that I didn't know. I was trying to yell over the engine so Jaxs could hear me.

"Where are we going?"

"I can hear you without yelling at me. A place I like to go when I need to think. Besides I wasn't in mood to work anymore today."

"Won't your mom be mad if we are gone for a long time?"

"Yeah she probably will. But she'll get over it."

This ride was slower down the country roads. It was relaxing having the wind blowing through your hair and to feel the sun on your skin. I never noticed all the sights and smells you miss when you're driving a car. I could smell fresh cut grass and the different kinds of flowers as we rode by.

We came to a long dirt road, there was a huge pond at the end of it. Charlie would love this place. Jaxs got off the bike.

"This is where I use to fish when I was a kid. When I need to be alone, I come here. Nobody comes here anymore."

"But you're not alone, I'm with you."

He took his dad's manuscript out of his saddle bag. "So I guess it's our spot when we need to think, or escape from everyone else."

We walked down the dock and went to the shaded part. He took out a joint and lit it up.

"Do you toke? It's very relaxing. Sometimes it's the only thing that keeps me calm."

Never doing that before but, what the hell. We read some more and I think I was getting stoned. Jax was right; I was relaxed for the first time in I don't know how long.

His cell kept going off . "It's Gemma, we should get back."

The bike ride back was great. Jax kept telling me to hold on. When we pulled into the driveway I realized that I made it through one ride without thinking about Edward. Maybe it was because of all the weed, but I didn't care. It was still progress.

Jaxs was holding on to me. "Bella you're not exactly walking in a straight line, I think I'll drive."

Gemma was waiting for us in the clubhouse. "Where in the hell have you two been?"

For some reason I was finding this funny and started giggling and couldn't quit. Jax started laughing too.

"No where special really. I just told her a funny joke, that's all." I tried to regained my composer.

When the old guy walked in that smoked cigars he came up to Gemma and kissed her on the cheek.

"Hey Baby. Well is anyone gonna introduce me?"

Jax introduced us, it was Clay, my Moms old boyfriend. "I think you know my mother."

"Nah, I don't think so." As he was walking away.

"I saw pictures of you with her at Mary's house."

He turned around slowly and stared at me. "Your Renee Swight's Daughter. How old are you?"

"I'm almost nineteen."

Clay stood there exchanging a long glance with Gemma.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed reading me.**

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

**BELLAS POV**

 

Jax broke the silences. "So how do you know Bella's mom?"

Clay took a long drag off of his cigar. "We use to date, that about sums it up. It's getting late and I'm tired. We'll talk in the day light, I'm gonna go home."

Jax took Abel from Gemma. "Why haven't I ever heard about Renee before?"

"Because there really isn't anything to tell, I guess. How is your mom anyways?" I told her about Phil getting signed and them moving close to Charming.

She changed the subject. "Make a list of everything you need at the house or for Abel and come by tomorrow Bella. I will give you some money and you can go get it, okay?"

We took Able home and put him to bed. Jax came in the living room after he showered.

"I haven't got another bed yet, so I'll take the couch."

"No, you sleep on your own bed, I'll take the couch."

"You know most women would jump at the chance to be in my bed."

"I'm not most women."

"No, you're not."

We ended up both being on the bed still dressed, but not touching each other. I heard Abel crying and went to check on him. He was wet, hungry and I would say just pissed off.

After I changed his diaper. I sat down in the rocking chair and was feeding him a bottle. Jax was just standing in the doorway not saying anything. When Abel was asleep Jax took him from me and laid him down in his crib.

Jax took my hand. "Come on, let's go back to bed."

He laid down and pulled me down next to him. "I promised I'd behave and I will. I thought you could come over to my side, it warmer over here."

 

**(****)**

The next morning it was the same thing, we had over slept. Only Jax went ahead and left. I thought about how much more I had slept since coming here. Maybe this change has been good for me. Not so many nightmares that I could remember anyways.

Taking my time getting around. I took a shower and gave Abel a bath. I made a list of food and other things that Jax wanted. I just needed to get the basics baby stuff for Abel.

Going to the garage to get the money from Gemma. Jax came out to the car and got Abel out of the car seat. He took Abel in the garage to show him off.

Stopping at the office door, Gemma was yelling at Clay. "Do you think she is just pussy to him? I know my Jaxs and he is restless. You need to nail him down Clay and bring him close. Or I'm telling you we'll lose him"

"I will not let any pussy turn him away from this club. Don't tell me what to do; no one will know anything as long as you keep your fucken mouth shut."

When I turned to walk away, I ran into Cherry. "Can I talk to you for a minute Bella?"

"Yeah, sure."

"I'm sorry about yesterday. I thought you were trying to move in on Half Sac. I'm sure you can understand right? I mean it would be no different if someone was trying to move in on Jax."

"Look, Jax and I are not a couple. I am just his Nanny."

"Well, that's not the impression I get from him. But I was wondering if you would mind if I tagged along with you to the store?"

"Sure why not."

Gemma came out of the office and gave me a list of things she wanted too along with a wad of cash. I went to find Jax. He walked us to the car and looked surprised to see Cherry standing there.

"What the fuck Cherry?"

Cherry put her arm around my shoulder. "We're cool, we are going to do some bonding while were gone." Not looking forwards to that.

Abel and I went to the grocery store while Cherry went somewhere else. Abel had slept since we left; taking care of him was so easy. I didn't know this store and it was taking me forever to find everything. A lady with dark hair came up to me.

"So, you must be the new Charming whore?"

"I'm sorry you must have me confused with someone else." When I went to push my cart away.

"Your Jackson Teller's old lady right?"

"No, I am not, I am just the fucking Nanny."

 

**(****)**

After spending the afternoon with Cherry, I was glad that I did. She went back to the house with me and helped me put everything away. She also explained some things that I was wondering about. Like what the hell is an old lady?

After telling her what happened at the store she made me feel better. Apparently Jax is a huge catch for Charming and a lot of women would do anything to get him. I understood that too, I had already gone through the same thing with Edward.

Cherry was making small talk in the car. "You know Bella; you have a tight little body, and should work it to your advantage."

There has never been a time I have felt comfortable flaunting myself around. She convinced me that feeling good about yourself can make all the difference in the world. I haven't felt good for such a long time.

We stopped at Cherry's house. She gave me a pair of black shorts and a black halter top with gold swirls running through it. After putting long loose curls in my hair, she put makeup on me. I picked out some large gold hoop earrings to go along with my new outfit.

This was kind of fun, nothing like with Alice. Because she always told me what I wanted. Cherry always asked, is this okay or is this too much.

"We just need to find you some shoes." I picked out her black boots. She said that those were on loan only, she wanted them back.

Half Sac helped carry in the things that we bought for the bar. He looked me up and down. "Well, hello Bella."

Cherry smacked him. "I saw that." Then she winked at me. She and I are cool now.

 

**CLUBHOUSE POV**

 

Clay was sitting at the bar. "Koz, come over here."

Koz went over and sat down. "I need you to do me favor. But it needs to be kept just between us."

"Sure Clay what do you need?"

"I need you to push up on Bella and I mean push up hard."

"I'm not sure about that man; Jax will freak the fuck out and definitely get pissed off. Why would you want me to do that?"

"It's obviously that you have a little chubby for her. When she was behind the bar bent over, I thought you were going to cum on yourself. Not to mention that every time she is around you always make a point to go over and talk to her. I have a personal interest in this and I have my reasons. Don't worry, I'll handle the little prince. I think it's time that Jax learned his dick is not as big as he thought it was."

Koz admitted that he did have a thing for Bella. But he wasn't excited about the idea of pissing Jaxs off. But, Clay had spoken and Koz knew what he had to do.

Bella and Cherry were shooting pool when Jax came in. He did a double take of Bella. It wasn't his emotions that were getting to him now. It was purely all her.

Jax sat down at the end of the bar and just watched while he drank his beer. Koz went over to the pool table. "Ladies, I wanted to tell you how hot you look tonight."

Then he ran his hand up and down Bella's arm. "Especially you Bella."

She blushed and told him thanks. Then she walked around to the other side of the pool table where Cherry was.

It was Bella's turn to shoot when she bent over the table. Koz bent over the top of her pushing her down against the table.

"Here Bella, let me help you. I'll show you how to hold and use a stick the right way. I bet there are a lot of things that I could show you how to do." She was trying to push Koz off of her.

Jax couldn't take it anymore when he pulled Koz off of her. "What the fuck are you doing? Get away from her."

Koz straightened out his cut. "I didn't realize that she belonged to you brother. Bella isn't your old lady right?"

Jax looked at Bella and then back to Koz. "It doesn't matter leave her alone."

Koz was inches from Jax's face. "How do ya know she didn't like it?"

Jaxs punched Koz and then they were rolling around on the floor. Clay yelled. "Op, Tig break that shit up."

They tore them apart. Opie took Jax off to talk to him. Clay told Prospect to get some ice for Koz. When Koz sat down by Clay.

"You did good but, I want you to do it again. They don't belong together."

Jax came back in after talking for a while with Opie. The girls were setting at the table having a drink, even Bella.

Jax asked Gemma if she would watch Abel for a couple of hours. He grabbed Bella and they left.

 

**BELLAS POV**

 

Jax was driving the car and hadn't said a word since we left the clubhouse. I was trying to make small talk with him.

"Where are we going?"

He reached over for my hand. "Some where I can think. I need to get my head clear."

We went to the same place he took me yesterday. As we walked down the dock. "I'm having trouble Bella. It's like you're in my head and I don't like it. I've never let no body go there before."

We sat down and I wasn't sure exactly what he was talking about. We just sat there and watched the water.

"Koz was right, you do look hot." I could feel the heat coming from my face; I was called hot twice in the same night.

It was just as quiet on the ride back as it was on the way there. When we got back to the clubhouse Jaxs went inside to get Abel. He strapped him in and got back behind the wheel.

"Jax are you going to leave your bike here?"

He looked at me with a look I hadn't seen before. "Yeah, I don't feel like it tonight."

Being so sleepy that I dozed off on the couch. But when I woke up I was on the bed and Jax wasn't there. I got up and walked past Abel's room. He was in there just staring off into space.

"You're right I do hide the truth. I justify my outlaw ways of what I do by one more lie. Like my dad's words; the lies become the truth after telling it so much, that even you're not sure anymore. I am a bad person Bella. I've killed people, a lot of people and I never looked back."

He got out of the rocking chair. Standing over Abel's crib with so much love mixed with pain in his eyes.

"I've been sitting here watching him sleep most of the night wondering what kind of life he is going to grow up to have. Wondering what kind of life I would of had if my dad hadn't died. Would I be on the same path to hell?"

"I'm scared that if you stay Bella you will learn and know all my truths. More frightened you'll go, because I'll go back to feeling nothing inside again. I'm a different person when I'm with you, someone I never knew existed before. I couldn't let the SOA ever know about that Jax."

We went to bed and I was laying with my head on his chest. He reached for me and kissed me. It was a long and full of heated passion kiss. One like I have never had before. It left me wanting more.

"I just need to catch my breath Bella and figure some shit out." I laid awake for long time thinking about what he said. I had truths that I could never let him know about either.

 

**(****)**

The rest of week was calm and without emotions. He never brought up anything that we talked about again. Jax went back to being Jackson Teller, the VP of SAMCRO just like he was when I met him.

Cherry would come by or call me every day. Lila was taking turns with me watching all the kids so that we got at least a few hours once in while alone. The kids were great and I was getting close to them too. When Abel would take his naps I would play games with them or we would pick movies to watch.

When I had time alone I would read or just think about life. John Thomas Teller had moved me so much that I decided to write about my truths. I did it in away so that if someone saw it, they would never know about vampires or werewolves. It was like a form of therapy, releasing me a little at a time. Maybe that's what John needed too, was to be released.

Renee left me a message that she would be leaving in a few days and would be here. She didn't obviously know what had happened with Mary yet.

Gemma came by to get Abel; I was going with Jax on his run. I really wasn't looking forward to the long bike ride but, I was looking forward to spending time with just him. I packed lite, just a change of clothes, his dad's manuscript and some toiletries.

Cherry made sure she packed what she called essentials for me: make up, curling iron, hairspray and hair ties for the ride. I was starting to do girly things that I hadn't ever done before. She even loaned me an outfit to wear. She told me that I would be representing SAMCRO by riding with Jax and looking the part was important.

The ride was so long and I lost the feeling in my butt miles ago. When we got to the Tribe's clubhouse Jax wanted to take a walk before going in.

"Bella before we go in; you may see somethings that you don't want to see. Don't ask any questions and stay close by me. If anybody asks you're my old lady that way nobody will mess with you. No matter what I say or do, you need to go along with it. You're gonna see the person that everyone else knows."

When we walked back Bobby was sitting on his bike. "What the hell are you doing here Bobby?"

"Clay sent me, a change in plans. We are gonna make the Tribe patch over or else Clay says that they will stop existing."

"This is bullshit, this was never part of the deal. This doesn't feel right to me Bobby, they're not strong enough to be SOA and you know it."

"You know we don't make those decisions, Clay does. You've butted heads with him ever since your boy was born. You've been through a lot of shit and I get it. But, everyone is starting to take notice of the change. If you don't handle it, Clay will, his way. So I guess you need to decide."

Jax let out a long sigh. "Fine let's get this shit over with."

He put his arm around me and whispered in my ear . "Remember what I told you."

Jax was right, inside I saw things that I didn't want to see. There were people shooting up and a girl in the corner going down on a guy like it was normal to so open about it.

Jaxs introduced me around. As we went to set down with one of them at a table he pulled me down on his lap. When their discussion started to get heated Jax sent me away from the tabel.

"Baby, why don't you go get us some beers." He gave me a long loving kiss and smacked my butt as I went to walk off. I was finding that kind of hot.

Sitting the beers down in front of them and he grabbed my hand. "Wait for me at the bar, I'm almost done."

Watching Jax being that bad boy outlaw that he was taking about. Nothing like the person I knew him to be. I could understand why women would be fascinated with him and the image, because he appears unobtainable and unstoppable. But images can be deceiving, a deception that I learned about from being with Edward Cullen.

Jax was walking over to the bar when a girl dressed in hardly anything, stopped him. She put her arms around his neck .

"Is there anything that I can do for you baby?"

He smiled and was taking her arms down from his neck. "Nah, my old lady is over at the bar, thanks anyways."

He walked over and put his arms around me. "Let's get out of here; there is something that I wanna show you."

He took me to an old bridge that had walls of stone underneath it and opened his dad's manuscript. "This is where it all began for him, read this."

* * *

 

**_First time I read Emma Goldman wasn't_ **

**_in a book. I was sixteen, hiking near the_ **

**_Nevada border. The quote was painted_ **

**_on a wall in red. When I saw those words_ **

**_it was like someone ripped them from_ **

**_inside my head._ **

**_._ **

**_Anarchism…_ **

**_Stands for liberation of the human mind_ **

**_from the dominion of religion; the_ **

**_the liberation of the human body from_ **

**_the dominion of property; liberation from_ **

**_shackles and restraint of government._ **

**_It stands for social order based on the_ **

**_free grouping of individuals._ **

 

* * *

Jax went over and wiped off the stone wall. It was still here today, painted in red. We sat under the bridge reading some more of his dad's words and burning a couple of smokes.

When we were walking back to the bike, Jaxs put his arm around me. "You did good today Bella, real good. Most women wouldn't handle that as well."

We were finally on our way back home when we passed a group of motorcycles. Jax yelled. "Shit."

When I looked back the motorcycles were turning around. Jax took out a cell phone that I had never seen before.

"I gotta tail, were down by the bridge. Hurry the fuck up."

He got off the highway and pulled his motorcycle behind a bunch of huge rocks. He tried to hand me a gun but I didn't take it. He pressed it into my hand.

"Take the safety off and squeeze the trigger. If anybody comes near you, shoot to kill. Keep your head down." He sat me behind him up against one of the boulders.

I was trying to figure out where the safety was and how to get it off. I held the gun away from me because I was afraid that I would end up shooting myself with it. Then I accidentally pulled the trigger. The bullet ricocheted against the boulder in front of me where Jax was.

He turned around and looked at me with a blank stare. "Do you think you could fucken try not to shoot me?"

My breathing was irregular and my heart was beating so fast it was hard to speak. "Okay, I'll work on that but I was trying not to shoot myself." He took the gun away from me.

Bullets were flying everywhere around us. I covered my ears and kept my head down. Then it was silent. I looked up to see Jax standing in front of me.

"Come on Bella, it's over." I got up and he held me in his arms.

A group of men with different SOA patches that I hadn't seen before were here. They were asking Jax about the men that chased us down.

"I don't know who they were; I didn't recognize their patch from what I saw."

They all seemed amazed that I was not a basket case from what just happened. I was scared but, I had been through worse. If they only knew what I could endure when I had to, hanging out with the supernatural will do that to you.

Jax was telling them how I almost shot him, of course they all found that funny. At least he could laugh about it now because he wasn't laughing before.

The one named Happy came over to me. "You're good for him, you're gonna make a great old lady." I stood there not sure what I was supposed to say. Was I still pretending to be that or did I need to tell him the truth.

We rode back with Bobby and Happy. They didn't think it was safe to ride alone until they figured out who those guys were.

Jax called Gemma when we got back to town. She told him Abel was asleep and not to worry about picking him up until in the morning.

After taking a long hot shower I was watching TV when Jax came in from showering. He was still wrapped in his towel and sat down on the bed beside me.

"Come here Bella."

He was taking his T-shirt off me when I stopped him "I have never had sex before."

"I kinda thought that. I can't make you promises of us for tomorrow, because I don't have a sense of direction for myself right now. But I can promise that I will always be there for you if you need me."

Jax was so slow and loving with every movement he made. Taking his time to kiss and touch me, pleasing me in ways that I never thought were possible. When his cock broke through my barrier I wanted to scream, it hurt so bad.

He stopped moving inside and held on to me so tight. "I think I am falling in love with you but, I need time Bella. I need to know this is real."

After Jax came he rolled me on to his chest and held me the rest of the night.

When I woke up it was going to be a rainy day today, but in my world it was sunny. I went to the garage to get Abel from Gemma. When I walked in Jax came over and kissed me so hard and long. Everybody stopped and watched us.

"I'll see ya tonight."

Abel had a checkup scheduled for today. When I got off of the hospital elevator I was looking directly into their golden eyes.

 

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed reading me. The Cullens will be making things a little more difficult for Jax and Bella along with Clay.**

 


	4. Chapter 4

**BELLAS POV**

 

Standing in shock staring into Alice and Jasper's faces. I felt like I couldn't breathe and that I was reliving the last year all over again.

"Bella is that really you? You look different and so grown up."

Holding on to Abel's carrier with a death grip. "Is that your baby?"

She looked over to Jasper but he never said a word and stood back looking like he was as uncomfortable as I felt. I could tell they were doing a private conversation between each other, just like all the Cullens always used to do when I was around.

"I'm sorry I have to go, I am going to be late for his doctor's appointment."

She was following me and was still trying to talk to me. "We are going to be in town for a few more days, maybe we could meet for lunch or something to catch up. But, due to the weather, there would only be certain times that I could do that. I have missed you so much Bella."

"Really you have missed me. I don't see how or why you would even say that. You all left me without as much as a good-bye, because I meant nothing to you or your family. Not really giving a shit what happened to me or what you left me to face alone. If it wasn't for Jacob, I would have already been finished off because of your kind. I can't thank you enough for just running away and leaving me with a death sentence on my head. I probably do look different, because this is just window dressing that I use to cover up the hell that I went through because of your family. I have survived the last year without you and I don't need you now. So, no I don't want to go to lunch with you and we have nothing to catch up on. I want you and your family to stay the fuck away from me."

Alice wanted to follow me again but Jasper put his hand on her arm. "Alice maybe it's best left alone, now is not the time."

When we were waiting for our turn to see the doctor. I thought about so many things that I had a headache and couldn't think anymore. If they were here, Edward probably was too or not far behind them.

Jax called to see how Abel's checkup went. He kept asking me if something was wrong and if I was okay. I was trying to convince him that everything was great, but he knew different.

When we walked outside the hospital, the rain had stopped. Jax was parked by the front entrance, sitting on his bike smoking. He threw his cigarette down.  
"Hey, there are my two favorite people in the world."

He kissed me and carried Abel to the car. "I thought we could get some lunch together." I really wasn't hungry but, I went anyways.

Jax kept looking over at me like he was waiting for me to say something. "Bella, the only way this is gonna work is total disclosure. You're in my head and I need to be able to get in yours. We will work shit out together. So when you're ready to talk about what's going on, come to me. It doesn't matter what it is I will try to help."

We pulled up to the restaurant and there was Alice, Jasper and Emmett standing around his Jeep. I guess that she didn't take the huge hint that I gave her that I didn't want to talk to them.

Emmett was the only one of them that approached me and Jax. "Hey Bella, Jasper and Alice said they saw you and I wanted to see you before we left town."

Jax seemed a little tense and wrapped his arm around my waist while holding Abel in his other arm.

Emmett looked Jax up and down, and then focused on Abel. "Bella, is the baby yours?"

Before I could answer him, Jax did. "Yeah, Abel is as much hers as he is mine." I looked at Jax and he had a huge proud smile on his face, which made me feel good that he felt that way about me.

Emmett looked back at Alice and Jasper, another private damn conversation I would assume. "We'll I guess we better go, I just wanted to say hi. Maybe I will see you around before we leave."

This is where I had to step up and I needed to put the Cullens behind me for good. I was going to start now by acting like an adult and not running away like they did. I took in a deep breath, I can do this.

"It was good seeing you again Emmett." He smiled and told me good bye. Then he went back to his Jeep.

We sat down to eat and Jax asked about them. I told him the parts of the story that I could. Trying to leaving out the skeletons, that will not be able to come out of my closet, at least for now. He was being so attentive and understanding. He told me that we would work on whatever we needed to together. That I didn't have to see anybody that I didn't want to, he would make sure of it. Even though I know there is nothing he could do to stop a vampire; it was still a sweet gesture.

But when Jax asked me if I was still in love with Edward, I couldn't answer the question. A few weeks ago I wouldn't have to think about it, because I would have said yes immediately.

After coming here and being with Jax that was slowly changing. I know he was trying to make me feel better, but he was doing more for me than he knew. I can never give him total disclosure on some things but, I will give him as much as I could.

On the way back to the hospital to get his bike, Juice called him. Clay wanted everyone there for church now, no exceptions. I was going to drop Jax off at the garage and come back to get him at quitting time. He kissed me good bye.

"I'll see ya tonight. I…... I gotta go."

 

**CHURCH POV**

 

Jax was the last one to walk in. "What's going on?"

Clay took out his cigar. "We have a problem with the Tribe. A lot of them went missing in action after your visit. That tag on you and Bella wasn't random. Apparently they were forming a new patch in the quiet before that and no one knew. The new patch is considering the Sons an enemy and wants a piece of our territory."

Jax looked at Bobby. "I thought that this shit was gonna go bad. I didn't agree with your decision. I went against my gut Clay and followed your lead on it."

Clay was pissed. "Followed my lead, you didn't follow me or we won't have this huge problem right now. Because I wouldn't have left them with any options and there wouldn't have been room for the errors. There is a hit out on you and your pretend old lady's head. We still don't know who leaked information. Their trying to make a name right now and taking down JT's Son plus the one he loves is a good fucken way to do that. I never told you to take Bella down there flaunt her around and play house. Why the fuck would you be introducing her as your old lady on a run anyways? You know the danger that carries."

Jax was taken back a little. "How do you know there is a hit out on us?"

"Your dads old army buddy Jury, the Tribe founder, called and told me. He also talked highly about your old lady and the respect he could see that she shows for ya, the way she handled the tag. But I guess I missed it when Bella actually became yours as I told him. Call him if ya don't believe me."

Happy was addressing business. "Okay, who do we need to kill?"

Clay shrugged. "I have no fucken idea until we find the leak. We are gonna have to try to flush them out somehow. Plus find the new patch and send them a message or we could have a territory war. This club can't stand anymore hits."

They were all tossing around ideas except Jax. He was thinking about Bella, he brought her into his fucked up world without meaning to. Now where were things going to go with them? He would have to worry about her and Abel all the time. They were the two things that he couldn't lose.

Jax wanted to tell Bella that he loved her when she was getting ready to leave. He was trying to say the words, but he couldn't. He knows more and more that he was falling for her, hard. She had already been in his head and last night he let her in his heart. He wasn't sure if the Cullen boy still had a place in hers or not.

They discussed sending Jax and Bella away or maybe just Bella. But any solution they came up with always led back to the same thing, Jax and Bella. When the idea was thrown out of using them as bait to flush out the leak, Jax lost it.

"You can't be fucken serious. There is no way in hell that I am gonna let her get used and maybe killed. There has to be a better way cause this shit isn't gonna happen."

Clay put his cigar down. "You need to take your piece of the responsibility for the role you played in this. We won't leave her unprotected; the quicker we find the leak the quicker this shit is over. You'll do whatever majority rules, is that clear? Don't forget that I'm still the King."

After the vote Clay banged the gavel, his words became their justice.

Everybody was going into the bar; Jax got up and shut the door. "Clay, if you've got something to say, then fucken say it. You've been really strange since Bella brought up her mom."

Clay got up to walk out. "Nah, I aint got nothing to say."

Jax went and sat back down and lit to toke, trying to calm down. How was he going to tell Bella about everything? He couldn't even make things right in his own head.

Gemma opened the door and stuck her head in. "You okay? Bella and Abel are here. Why don't I keep him tonight so that you two can talk?" Jax told her thanks and went to face Bella.

 

**BELLAS POV**

 

Gemma took Abel from me and said he was spending the night at her house. When Jax came walking out of their meeting room, he had his head down.

"Do you wanna go for a ride with me? We have some shit we need to work out."

We went to our thinking spot as he calls it. He was distant and hadn't said a word since we left. The silent treatment was killing me.

"Jax why are we here?"

"I fucked up big time. When I took you on the run and introduced you as my old lady. Everyone took note of it. When those guys were gunning for us, it was a purposed hit. They want to kill us both to prove their patch. They want to take the Sons down and take over our territory. I should have never taken you there, it's my fault, I should have known better."

His words were ringing in my head, running almost parallel to what Edward had told me that night at the baseball field when James had found us.

"The club wants to use you. They want you to pretend to be my old lady to find the snitch. You're not safe here anymore with me. You don't belong in my world. I am gonna get you killed. I'll get you out here tonight. I'll tell them that you were gone when I woke up."

I felt dizzy and nauseated; I don't belong in his world. He is going to get me killed and he wants me to run away just like Edward did. How is it possible that vampires and bikers could be living the same goddam life? But I decided today when I saw the Cullens that I was not running away anymore; I don't want to be like them. I will take life on and deal with shit. That's exactly what I am going to do.

"I am not leaving. I am not going to live my life on the run anymore. What would I have to do?"

"You have no idea what you're getting yourself into. Being an old lady is more than just looking the part. Especially being my old lady. You would have to be able to walk it and convince the world it's true. You don't wanna get involved with the SOA, especially not what Clay has turned it into. I'm not sure that I wanna be a part of it anymore."

Jax took a few steps back from me, I think he realized what he had just said. He doesn't want to do it anymore, at least not Clay's way. His dads words have changed him too.

"Then make changes, make it a better and a stronger club. You're Jackson Teller, the son of JT, the only one that can do it. Abel's future depends on it."

Tears were coming to his eyes and we stood there holding on to each other.

We talked all the way home until we were exhausted. Lying in bed we talked again about all the thing that I was going to have to learn and do to pull this off. Jax and I would be inseparable, everyone needed to know that we were together.

"Bella are you sure that you're strong enough to walk by my side? Once you start this you can't stop."

If I was strong enough to try to face James the vampire alone, get bit and survive. Strong enough to punch a werewolf in the face, I had to be strong enough to walk by Jax's side.

"I think I am."

"It would make things easier and more believable if you actually had feelings for me."

At this point I wasn't sure if that was a question or a statement. So I didn't say anything. But I do have feeling for him. I was starting to fall in love.

 

**(****)**

 

My first shooting lesson starts today. I rode with Happy to their shooting range. Half Sac and Cherry came along too, he was going to teach me. After an hour of me not really getting any more comfortable with the gun or not hitting anything Happy took over.

"For fuck sakes get the hell out of the way."

"This is not Jax's dick, you don't jerk it. You squeeze the trigger. Stop being fucken scared of it. The end that you hold can't hurt you. The day might come when you actually want to shoot Jax. He's a quick little fucker, don't you want to be able to hit him?"

Happy had us all laughing the whole afternoon. But with his help I was actually starting to hit the target.

Renee kept calling while I was trying to shoot. So I gave up and answered her. She had stopped to visit my Grandma in Kansas. She wanted to spend some time with her mom and wanted to know if I would be upset. Hell I encouraged a long visit. Her flightiness was working to my advantage for once.

The next thing on the list of the day was what I hated the most. Lila and Cherry wanted to change my look but, I didn't. We shopped until we dropped. I got buffed, polished and tweezed.

But my hair was what amazed me. I got it cut to flow around my face but, kept my length. I got blond highlights throughout it. They used what they called shine spray to give my hair luster. When I looked in mirror, even I couldn't believe it was me. It changed everything about the way I looked.

They let me go home after doing all of that. I had Abel ready for bed and was grilling steaks by the time Jax arrived. I met him at the door with a beer. He just looked at me but didn't say anything.

Going into the kitchen to finish dinner. I felt him from behind; he pulled me hard into him. "Do you think I can get some love from my old lady tonight?"

"I can make that happen."

While Jax put Abel to bed, I was cleaning up. He came into the kitchen. "That can wait until tomorrow. Let's go take a shower together."

He pulled my body close to his while we stood under the hot water. Having the water running down our bodies while I could feel him grow hard against me was making me want him so bad. Pushing my back against the shower wall he started fingering my pussy and kissing me. I was running my hands over his back and down to his ass.

Loud moaning was coming from me because I could feel how close to cumming I was. But then Jax stopped.

"I want you cum on me, turn around."

He had my hips in his hands. What started out being at a slow pace became fast and hard. He was pumping into me while I was cumming and he never stopped. I started screaming his name, I think I was experiencing my first orgasm; it was more intense than when I just came.

"That's it Bella tell how me much you like it."

His hand was smacking my ass over and over until it started to sting. He was starting to moan and then he pushed me up hard against the wall. He was so far up inside me that I could feel every inch of his cock throbbing as he came.

We finished taking our shower and I couldn't wait for the next one that we would take together.

 

**(****)**

 

Jax and I have started being together all the time. We made appearances everywhere. The only time I wasn't by his side was when he was at work. Then I would hang out watching and trying to learn their ways. I was trying to use their lingo; I walked around trying to talk shit all the time.

Gemma was the interesting one to watch; she has that way about her of being so confident. She has a don't fuck with me attitude and makes you believe that she means what she says so don't even try her. I am going to have to work really hard on that one.

The more time I spent with Tig the more that I decided Jax was right, he was mentally retarded. I did enjoy hanging out with Happy, Juice and Opie. We have become close.

The club was going to be giving a party this weekend and had invited two other charters. They called it a trial run for me. They said if I could convince some of their own, then I could probably pull it off. I was really nervous about doing it. But, I had Lila and Cherry, they are both some bad bitches.

Jaxs left early, they were holding church before the other charters got here. He came in, kissed me and told me that I would do great.

My girls Lila and Cherry showed up. We were token and trying to get ready. I put on a very short black silk tank dress with a zipper that went all the way down the front. I kept zipping it all the way up and Lila would unzip it down again to the bottom of my black bra.

"Bella, you have boobs, show them."

Lila's shoes were really cute, black stilettos that had a zipper that went down the back of them. They looked great with the dress but, I wasn't sure about walking in them. Cherry gave me a little bit of poof to my straight cut hair do and a lot more makeup than I was used to. Although I loved the smoky eyes she gave me, they looked sexy. When I stood before the mirror I didn't recognize the one staring back at me.

"Do you guys think that I look like a whore?"

Lila laughed. "No Bella, you're just looking hot."

We got ready to leave and it was time for the show.

 

**CLUBHOUSE POV**

 

The party was going well. Bella was doing a good job of doing what she set out to do until she was challenged.

A sweat butt that was brought here by another charter took a liking to Jax. She had decided that no matter what she was going to do the VP. Jax kept shoving her away and telling to get the fuck away from him.

Lila told Bella. "You're Jackson Tellers old lady and you don't take shit from anybody. You need to go handle your business."

Gemma gave her advice too. "You have to educate; to them he is just a free swing dick that comes with a label. When you put her in her place, the others will follow."

Bella went over the bar where the girl stood and told her who she was. The girl looked her up and down, and then rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, whatever."

Then the girl went back to talking to the girl beside her. Bella turned to walk away when she saw Jax sitting at the table. He was looking into Bella's eyes. She knew it was time to show him that she was strong enough to walk by his side.

Bella grabbed the girl by her hair and smashed her face twice into the bar as hard as she could. Everyone stopped what they were doing to watch. She pulled the girl's head back by her hair.

"Bitch, if you touch my old man again that face of yours will become unrecognizable."

The girl grabbed a napkin for the blood that was coming from her nose. "I'm sorry I didn't know and it won't happen again." Then she went out the door.

All eyes were on Bella. She flipped her hair over her shoulder and did a slow saunter over to Jax. She stood behind him where he was sitting then draped her arm around him and was rubbing his chest. Cherry and Lila took their position on each side of Bella. They were standing strong with her, because she had earned their respect as well.

Jax put his hand over Bella's on his chest. He knew that he found his Queen that could stand by him in the SOA when he became the King.

Clay on the other hand wasn't pleased with what just happened. He couldn't believe that Bella had agreed to doing any of this. He thought she would pack her bags and leave town just like her mother had so many years ago.

When Clay looked up, Jax was staring him down and smiling. Clay knew it was only a matter of time before Jax would challenge him for his position at head of the table, especially with Bella by his side.

 

**BELLAS POV**

 

No one knows how glad to get home and away from everyone I truly was. I was still shaking a little from what I did to that girl. Jax was holding me and telling me that he couldn't have handled it better himself.

He wanted to have a couple of days with just me and Abel. We were going to take a break for a few days, after church tomorrow we would leave.

He rolled me on to my back was hovering above me. "I love you Bella and what we've got is real. I don't want you to pretend to be my old lady anymore. I want you to be."

He kissed me. "Make love to me."

Doing the laundry and packing. Jax had already left for church. But I heard motorcycles, he must have forgotten something. When I went to the door it was the same men that tried to gun us down.

Running for my cell phone to call Jax. He told me to lock the door and get the gun he was coming. As I was going down the hallway to Abel's room to get him, three of them burst through the door. One of them grabbed me and threw me to the floor.

"She doesn't have any ink, are sure that this is her?"

"That's her; she was the one that was with him on the run." He was at the Tribes Clubhouse the same time we were, I saw him there.

"Look at what we have here." I looked up and the third one had Abel. I went to get up from the floor to get to him when the guy kicked me hard in my stomach.

After that everything happened so fast that I wasn't sure. There were gun shots and screaming. The gun shots stopped.

A cold hand was on my arm helping me up. I looked up and it was Emmett. His shirt was covered in blood. Abel was being held by him and was unharmed. He gently handed Abel to me.

"I made sure your baby was safe."

Emmett turned his head. "Bella you need to listen to me. Jax is almost here and I don't have much time. You can't tell anybody that I was the one that did this."

He put the gun in my hand and softly touched my cheek. "I used your gun to cover up what I did to them. I will be seeing you again." Then he was gone.

This was going to be one more lie that I was going to have to tell to cover up my truths.

 

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed reading me.**

 


	5. Chapter 5

**BELLAS POV**

 

Jax came through the front door with all the Sons following behind him. They were looking around the room and were taking the whole scene in. He came to me, wrapped his arms around me and Abel. He was holding on to us so tight and was not letting go. Placing alternate kisses from my forehead to Abel's, I think he was amazed that we were still alive.

My knees felt week and I went to fall. Jax yelled. "Somebody come and get Abel." We went outside to get some air.

"It's gonna to be all right Bella I promise."

"Are you sure Jax, am I going to go jail for this?"

Emmett risked being exposed by doing this. He had put all of his kind in danger by killing those men to save mine and Abel's life. No matter what I was going to have to do I would keep his secret. I had to protect him, even if it meant that I was going to go to jail for it. I would take the blame for Emmett.

"Look at me Bella. I'll make sure none of this shit blows back on you. We'll cover it up or I'll take the blame. The Sons have the police chief on our payroll, so don't worry."

He loves me enough to protect me and take the blame. Jax wanted to cover up my truths just like I was doing for Emmett.

Clay came over to us. "The leak was Paulson."

"It looks like you about shot his heart out. But I never pictured you as a killer Bella. How did you do that?"

Emmett must have almost ripped his heart out and now I needed to make them believe that I was the one that had done all of this. I hadn't even thought that far yet. I was trying to think of an explanation or a way to prove that I was capable of doing it. If I didn't come up with something quickly they would never believe my story.

Pushing away from Jax, I walked back into the house. All of them followed me inside. I stood over one of the dead bodies and opened fire with the same gun Emmett used to cover up his truths. I pulled the trigger until it just clicked from being empty.

Happy grabbed the gun away from me. "Okay killer, I think you got him."

Walking past Clay back into Jax's arms. "I just killed him twice, do I need to do it for a third time?"

Hoping that I was convincing enough they would believe I was the one that pulled the trigger. Maybe they would think I was still in shock and just let it go.

Being in shock was somewhat true. Even though that man was already dead when I shot him, I ended up going into the bathroom and throwing up for what I just had done.

When I came out of the bathroom they were discussing what retaliation that they were going to do. Clay asked Jax.

"Okay, what is the verdict?"

Jax's face was looking like it was made of stone right now and without any feelings. "They fucked with my family; we track them down and kill all of those mothers fuckers. No survivors and no witnesses."

Clay was walking out the door. "The VP has spoken church now. Juice start calling in the other charters, tell them we need them now. Also get the word out that the Sons dealt with Paulson; just like we will with anybody that becomes a threat to us. War is here boys."

Jax went into the bedroom and I followed him. "You found the leak isn't this over?" He opened the closet door and took down a duffel bag.

"No, it's just the start. Paulson was a Tribe nomad and he rode alone most of the time. He roams from one club to another, never calling one of them his home. He has spent time with us off and on. He knows everything about us. There is too much knowledge of exactly how to hurt all of us. He could have ridden with us to get intel for a long time. We have to go move the gun supply too; he knows where the warehouse is. But we have no idea how much of that knowledge he has already passed on to the new patch. We have to take them out."

Closing my eyes, nomad. Just one more term used in both the vampires and the biker's worlds, James the vampire nomad and Paulson the biker nomad. Their two worlds have crossed over into being the same one for me.

Jax took out a bullet proof vest from the dresser draw and threw it on the bed. He took his cut off and shirt, then he put on the vest. Maybe I could talk some sense into him or rationalize with him.

"Jax please don't do this. What would happen to Abel if something happened to you? I love you, don't leave me."

"I love you to Bella. You and Abel are my world. That's why I have to do this. We would never have any peace of mind. We would have to always be looking over our shoulder. I don't know anything about this patch or what any of them even look like. You said you didn't want to live your life on the run, this is part of that."

Putting his stash of guns and ammo in the duffel bag and zipped it up. "You need to pack for you and Abel. You'll be safe at the clubhouse until I get back, it will be kept well-guarded. I'll have one of the Prospects stay here with you until you're ready to go. They will do the cleanup of everything here while were gone and they make sure that none of this shit blows back on us."

"Jax is there anything that I can do to make you stay? What if you go and don't come back?"

"If I don't come back then I loved you till death do us part. That was something I never thought I would find for me, cause before I met you I didn't believe that it existed. I love you Bella and I'll never stop."

He started walking to the door.I went up behind him and held on to him as tight as I could. He turned around and was hugging me back.

"Bella, stop worrying about me this is what I do. I have a Harley, a g.e.d and a degree in outlaw because I'm so fucken good at it. I have to go now and ride."

Standing in the driveway I watched Jax ride away, wondering if I would ever see him again. He was all outlaw right now unreachable and unstoppable even to me.

Half Sac was the one who stayed with me. He helped me load up the car, and then followed me and Abel to the clubhouse. It was on total lock down. No one gets in and no one gets out without their permission.

**(****)**

Setting off to myself I was trying to think back to the time before I knew anything about vampires, werewolves and bikers when Gemma sat down beside me. She was trying to keep everyone's spirits up but I could tell that she was just as worried about Clay. We talked about really nothing in general. But she summed it up for me with her last sentence.

"Bella, if you love the man, you will learn to love the club and its ways."

The outlaw ways, the Cullens ways and werewolf ways were not really any different. They would fight among each other but would stand united to protect their way of life no matter what they had to do.

Abel was going to stay in Gemma's room. There would be a Prospect posted outside her door to protect the club's Queen and the upcoming SOA Prince. Abel would be next in line after Jax to take the gavel.

I missed having Jax lying beside me. Knowing that I didn't have Abel close by for me to watch over was making the night so long. I was tossing and turning. I couldn't sleep and decided to get up. I sat and stared out the window like I had so many nights and days after Edward left me.

Trying to just relax and calm myself until I replayed the day in my head. Emmett knew where I was but, I never told him where I lived. He also knew Jax name but, I never introduced them that day at the restaurant. He even knew where I had my gun hid, they should have already left town by the time that I had got that. Damn them, they had watched me. They couldn't have known about those things unless they had been. I went over and raised the window.

"Emmett if you can hear me I want to talk to you."

My bedroom window was always open every night in Forks so that Edward could come in through it. I sat and watched the opened window for over an hour. This was ridiculous and I finally went over closed and locked it.

Hoping a hot shower would relax my stressed muscles so I might be able to get some sleep. I went and got in but standing under the hot water only reminded me of the night that Jax and I made love in shower. This was making me miss him even more. I turned off the water and wrapped up in a towel.

When I came out of the bathroom Emmett was sitting on the bed. "Bella, you said you wanted to talk to me." He was looking at me in a strange way.

"Just give me a minute and I will get dressed."

When I came back out of the bathroom. "How did you get in, I locked the window?"

"Bella, have you forgotten that I can move at the speed of light. I came in through the front door you silly girl. Have we been gone for so long that you have forgotten about our kind, locks mean nothing to us if we want in?"

"No, I have not forgotten about your kind. I have spent the last year thinking about your family and your kind all the time, to the point of obsession. Having one of your kind trying to kill me while you've been gone was a good way for me never to be able to forget. I owe Jacob for saving my life from Laurent."

"What are you talking about? Did they come back after we left?"

"Laurent came back to find me for Victoria, a mate for a mate. He called me the Cullen's family pet that was left behind. He said that you guys really couldn't have cared for me if you left me unprotected. So he decided to finish the job himself. If it wasn't for Jacob and the pack, I wouldn't be alive today. I know all about the shape shifters, because they became my family after the Cullens tossed me to the curb. You all moved on with your lives like I never existed. You guys never gave me a second thought after you left."

"Is that what you think, that we never thought about you? That I never cared what happened to you after we left. I am sorry for the way that we left. I am sorry that we left you unprotected but, that wasn't my decision. It was Edward that made all the decisions concerning you and Carlisle made us follow his wishes of leaving you alone. Then I come here and see that your pissing your life away on some pretty boy little biker. Everything that I lost was for nothing; you're not the only one that has suffered over this last year. So maybe you shouldn't pass judgment so quick. Because I am not Alice and I will give you total disclosure just like your pretty boy does."

Piney was knocking on the door. "Bella is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine why?"

Piney stuck his head in the room and looked around. "I was passing by and thought I heard a male voice coming from in here."

"I'm sorry I had the TV on and I must have had it up to loud."

"Well good night then."

Shutting the door and Emmett was leaning up against the wall. "I'm sorry Bella; I should have never said those things to you."

That was the first time that one of the vampires had ever talked to me that way. Wanting to tell me the truth, expressing their true feelings, no matter if I wanted to hear it or not. There were so many things that Emmett and I need to get off our chest but, here wasn't the place for it.

"Do you want to go somewhere so we could talk without being interrupted?"

He had me on his back when we jumped from the window and over the fence. When he was running with me to his Jeep, I only thought riding with Jax on his motorcycle was a bad thing. But I had forgotten just how bad it truly was to ride with a vampire. I was woozy by the time I got down.

 

**(****)**

The only place I could think of to go is where no one would see us, mine and Jax's thinking spot. I went to give Emmett directions and he started laughing.

"Bella, I think you already figured out that I have watched you so let's just clear the air. I already know where Jax takes you to be alone." Well that left nothing for me to doubt, Emmett knew everything that has happened with me and Jax.

Emmett told me about the family since they had been gone. Carlisle and Esme travels a lot. That was why they were here to begin with. Carlisle has done seminars, more than setting up a doctor's residence. Jasper, Alice and Emmett had come here to visit them; Carlisle was giving a seminar at the hospital. Alice assured them there would be rainy days and everything would be fine if they came.

Carlisle still does doctoring from time to time but, he and Esme haven't found a place to call home again since they left Forks. They wanted to see me when they found out I was here but after hearing how I had reacted to Alice, Jasper and himself they decided not to try. They were respecting my wishes of them staying away from me.

Jasper and Alice had left the family shortly after they moved away. Poor Jasper took all the blame for everything even though it wasn't his fault. Edward put most of that guilt on him too. This past year must have been horrible for Jasper.

After hearing the effect of their leaving had on Alice it brought tears to my eyes. Alice fought them hard to stay in Forks, to stay with me. She wanted to at least tell me good bye but, Edward wouldn't let her. She was never the same person after leaving; she had lost the only friend that she had made in this vampire world and her sister.

Alive felt a void in her life too. I felt so bad for the way I had talked to her. I guess I never thought about any of them suffered along with me or that they even would. I made the assumption that they were happy without me and had forgotten me. Emmett never said a word about Rosalie. So I finally asked him.

"I really don't know what to say. After leaving Forks, Rosalie was bitter with everybody but especially me. She blamed us all for letting you into our lives when she was totally against it. When the family split up over time we stopped doing anything together, so I guess she and I had spilt up too. She said she needed a break from me and was going to go visit the Denali coven in Alaska. I thought it was just a visit, not a total separation. We talked on the phone every day for a while but now we don't talk at all. I was told she found a friend while she was there and has forgotten all about me. So I have roamed around trying to find myself again and my purpose. I meet up with Jasper and Alice once in a while but that's about it."

Emmett was tugging on my heart strings so bad. This was what he was trying to tell me in my room. He had lost everything; his family, his wife, but most of all the stability in his life. I was giving him hell over something that he wasn't to be blamed for. He was kind of nomad right now, nowhere to call home. It wasn't that long ago that I was where he is. I would do everything that I could do to try to help him through it.

We spent the rest of the night talking, getting out our emotions and holding nothing back no matter how much it hurt. We gave each other total disclosure and it felt good. I now understood what Jax was talking about. But, it was with Emmett I could do that, without giving away anyones secrets.

Emmett never told me about what happened to Edward after he left me and I was glad because I really didn't want to know. I closed the Edward chapter of my life tonight and became closer to Emmett again. We talked until it was almost morning.

"Come on I need to take you back, I can't stay out today it's going to be sunny. But if you want I will come by tonight and we can continue our talk?"

"I would love that Emmett."

There were still many things we had to talk about, like why was he staying here? Why does he seem to hate Jax so much? But tonight Emmett and I worked our shit out together.

**(****)**

Gemma woke me up at lunch time. "Bella, I never told you thank you for what you did for Abel. You treat him like he is blood and you're a good mommy to him."

Her face had softened when she said that to me and then she went back to being the Gemma I knew. "But it's noon so get your skinny ass out of bed and eat."

Maybe Gemma is more vulnerable than anyone thought she was? Then it hit me, she called me Abel's mommy. Was I really his mommy?

Clay called Gemma to tell her that everyone was fine and to pass it on. I think that brought a sigh of relief for us all. All we wanted was for them to come home to us.

I was giving Abel a bath when my cell rang, it was Jax. He just wanted to call and tell me that he loved me. But told me not to tell anyone because they weren't supposed to be using their cells. I told him I loved him to and to come home to me.

When I was getting Abel dressed my cell kept ringing from a number I didn't know. So I finally answered it. It was Emmett but I didn't remember giving him my number. He told me I had to come and meet him, Alice and Jasper alone. I kept asking questions but he wouldn't answer them. He said that they couldn't come into town to me because of the sun and if I trusted him I would find a way to get there. I was to meet them where we were last night.

Trying to come up with a good reason to leave. I couldn't sneak out because I couldn't get through the gate without them opening it. So I went to Gemma.

"I needed to go get diapers, Abel is almost out."

"Okay take Half Sac with you and I want you to get some things for me too." I guess I will have to figure out how to get away from him.

When we got to the store parking lot, I got out of the car as he was pulling up behind me. "Half Sac I need a favor. I need you to cover for me for one hour and I will be back."

"Are you crazy? I only have one nut left and Jax would do horrible things to it if he finds out that I didn't keep you under protection. Then they would call me No Nuts. How can you be a bad ass biker being called No Nuts?"

Handing him the list and the money Gemma gave me. "I am the old lady of the VP, are you disregarding a direct order from me?"

"Come on Bella; don't play that card on me okay?"

Giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks."

He muttering as I was getting in the car. "Goddamn woman is going to get me nut less or killed yet."

Walking down the path to the dock and they were sitting under the shade tree. I wanted to make peace with Alice and Jasper.

"Alice I'm sorry for what I said to you the other day. I was being selfish; I never stopped to consider everyone else's feelings. I didn't know what you guys had gone through. Apparently we have all carried some burdens and sorrows from Edwards's decision."

"I am the one that is sorry that I stayed away from you. I want another chance to be friends or maybe to at least work towards that."

"I want that too."

Jasper stood back from us. "Jasper, I am so pissed that Edward put the blame on you. He didn't love me anyways; I was just a distraction for him. He used you as his scape goat. I never blamed you once and I want the same chance with you. Let's work at being around each other without it being uncomfortable."

"I would like that too Bella. Emmett was right you have grown into a very wonderful and beautiful woman." I knew I was blushing because my cheeks were getting hot.

Emmett bumped my shoulder with his. "Don't let it go to your head Bella, I think Jasper is real pretty too."

After we talked for a while the conversation took a serious turn. Alice wanted to tell me about a vision she had been having since yesterday. She tried to block my future after they left as she was told to do by Edward. So she eventually saw nothing about me anymore. Since seeing me I had flooded her mind.

Her vision of my future was Jax not coming home to me along with most of the SOA. But she wouldn't tell me the impact that would have on me. There is another leak within the SOA, one of their other charters members that they don't know about yet.

They would be set up for an ambushed and they will never see it coming. As she told me this I stood there weaker than I was when Abel and I were attacked. Emmett held on to me and kept telling me that everything was going to be okay. He said he was having Alice tell me all this because we needed to have total disclosure between us.

Alice continued on; she told me that when she called Emmett and told him, he had made a decision that changed the future. He decided that he would kill them before they had a chance to hurt Jax or the SOA. No one would ever know and it would be done in a way so that the SOA would believe that they did it themselves. Jax would come home to me.

This only meant more blood would be put on Emmett's hands protecting me; I couldn't let him do that. But, I couldn't stand it if I lost Jax either.

Alice and Jasper had come back to help Emmett if I said yes that I wanted them to do this. Like I thought before the outlaw ways, vampire ways and werewolf ways weren't any different. They all would kill to protect the ones they loved.

"You're going to have to make a decision Bella, there isn't much time left."

"I don't think I can. If you do this to protect me and Jax I will hurt you. The other way I would hurt Jax."

"I would do anything for you and I am not going to get hurt so don't worry about me. I'm not doing this to protect Jax. Just because I am going to save his ass, doesn't mean that I have to like the pretty boy. But I do need to know something; would you answer one question for me?"

"Yes."

His golden eyes were staring into mine. "Do you love Jackson?"

 

* * *

**Thank you for reading me!**


	6. Chapter 6

**BELLAS POV**

 

"Yes, I love Jackson."

Emmett smiled and let go of me. "We need to go."

As they were leaving I was starting to feel like I had the last time they left "Am I going to see you guys again?"

Alice came back and hugged me "Bella, I told you that I want to try to rebuild a friendship with you. When we are done with what is needed to be done, we will be back." Then they were gone.

I watched a lot of people that I love walk out of my life over the past few days. With the same question, would I ever see them again? I really wanted to believe that Jax would be fine and would come back to me. I wanted to believe just as much that the Cullens were being true right now, not walking out of my life like they had before.

When I went back to the grocery store to meet up with Half Sac, he was worried and pissed that I was gone longer than an hour. "Where the hell have you been? I had no idea even where to start looking for you. I have been freaking the fuck out. If you had been gone much longer I would have had no choice but to tell someone that you were gone." I apologized to him for taking longer than I told him I was going to be. We loaded the car and went back to clubhouse.

Everyone was starting to get restless, being cooped up in the clubhouse and not being able to leave. But knowing that they had to stay here because it was for their own good and safety. But still it was starting to wear on everyone.

Lila and I took some of the kids to play outside for a while. They posted guards on top of the roof to make sure that if anyone was coming to do us harm; we would at least have time to get the kids inside.

Lila was worried about Opie "Bella, do you think that they will be okay?"

I wanted to tell her yes. I do believe the Cullens that they will do everything that they can. But something's are even out of their control.

"I really hope so."

It was in the evening when Clay had called Gemma. The Sons had dealt with the new patch. There was only one Son fatality. I already knew who that was, the other leak. The Sons would honor him as a fallen brother even though he was a rat. I would never be able to tell anyone about him, how could I explain knowing that?

The SOA would be coming home. The ride would be for about a day. Jax would be back by my side again, where he belonged. I went in to my room with having some relief in my heart. Abel and I just laid around and watched TV.

When I came out of the bathroom Emmett was sitting on the bed and was watching Abel sleep. "He is so beautiful Bella, you should be very proud. Can I hold him?"

That not only brought a smile to my face but to my heart as well. I picked Abel up and laid him in Emmett's arms.

"This is the one thing that Rosalie always wanted that I could never give to her."

He looked so sad and was full of true emotions right now. Out of all the Cullens it was always Emmett and Alice that I had a hard time picturing as vampires. Alice because of her personality which was nothing like a vampire and her small size. Emmett because he is a true lover of what life holds. He was never bitter about being turned into a vampire, or wished that it could be changed. He was the most human of them all.

I watched Emmett hold Abel like he was holding a fragile porcelain doll. He was talking to Abel "You're so beautiful little guy, just like your Mommy."

"Emmett, I am not Abel's mother."

"But Jasper said that Jax was not lying when he said Abel was yours too."

"No, Jax wasn't lying, he really feels that way about me being Abel's mother. But I am not Abel's biological mother. I didn't give birth to him." He looked even more shocked.

He got up and handed Abel back to me "Fuck, do you know what we have just done? This changes everything."

"Emmett, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Can you get out of here for a while? We need to go see Alice and Jasper."

I took Abel to Gemma. I told her I was tired and going to bed. Since he was already asleep her night should be easy. She told me to sleep well and the boys would be home tomorrow. We need to start planning a victory party.

I left the clubhouse with Emmett but he hadn't said anything. We were leaving Charming "Where are we going?"

He told me that they had found a house on the out skirts of town. It was out of the way and there was wild life around. If they found a house did that mean they were planning on staying for a while?

The house was nice but nothing like the Cullens normal flashiness. Alice and Jasper was on the porch when we got there. Alice hugged me "Hey, Bella we are glad that you came to visit us." Emmett kept walking past us and went into the house.

We went into the living room and Emmett started the conversation "Abel is not Bella's baby."

Jasper looked confused "I felt Jackson's emotions and they were true." So I explained to them what I had already explained to Emmett.

Emmett looked to Alice "You need to tell Bella the truth Alice."

Then he sat by me and put his hand on my arm "I wanted to tell you but Alice's visions kept changing with every decision that we all made. I know that you and I agreed on full disclosure, no matter how much it hurt. That's why I came to see you tonight. I was going to tell you about the final vision that Alice had after we took care of the other patch. I also needed to tell you some other things."

"Bella, before any decisions were made about killing the new patch. I saw the person being most affected by Jackson not coming home was Abel. He would have a very rough childhood. He would have grown up to take over the SOA. It would have been more corrupted with him being in charge then it is now. There were no positive influences in his life to lead him in the right direction. Abel would have been killed at a very young age. So we assumed that meant once you lost Jackson, that you weren't capable of coping with that. I never saw you later in Abel's future after Jackson died."

Emmett got up from the couch and went over to the window. He was just staring out of it. Alice looked over at Emmett then continued with her vision "But after we changed the outcome of the future, I saw Abel growing up with you and Jackson. I also saw how Jackson would be making changes with how the SOA operates and the future of the club. Making it be more like what his father intended it be. This meant that Abel would live for a long time and take over after Jackson. Also the three of you would have a happy life together. We did this for you and what we thought at the time was your child."

Now I think that I was the one in shock. Maybe it is what was meant to be; for me to be Abel's mother and for me to be with Jax.

We sat around and talked for a while. Alice kept telling me to remember that no one's future was ever set in stone and it changes daily with every decision made.

They all told me that I was welcome to come over anytime I wanted and hoped that I would come over often.

Emmett was taking me back to the clubhouse. I wanted to let him know how I felt "I can never thank you enough Emmett for what you have done for me. I don't know how to repay you either."

"Be my friend Bella and promise me that Jax will not change that."

"Why do you think that Jax would want to change that? Maybe if you got to know him better you could become friends with him too."

"I think that Jax is not going to want me around you. He seems possessive just like…."

I was waiting but he never finished the sentence "Just like who Emmett?"

"It doesn't matter, just promise me." I made that promise to Emmett tonight and I would never break it.

Emmett and I talked for a long time until I must have dozed off. When I woke up he was still sitting on my bed looking at me. "Good morning Bella."

I rolled over to look at the clock it was 9:00am "Emmett is it sunny outside?"

"No it's cloudy today. But I have to get ready to go. Jax will be back soon and I am sure that he is going to want to spend time with you." He hugged me and told me he would call me tomorrow to see if I could get away from Jax for a while to come see him.

**(****)**

Renee called me today. She will be finally getting here tomorrow. I told her that I had met someone while I was here. Of course the only thing she wanted to know was is he hot or not? I have decided that I am staying with Jax and I am not sure how she will react to that. But it doesn't matter to me; I just don't want to have to argue with her about it.

When I went into the bar everyone was so happy today. The boys were coming home and then everyone could move on with life. I even volunteered to have the victory party at our house. They had everything already cleaned up there and new carpet installed for the second time this year. But if Jax and I are going to have a future together then it is time that I make every part of his life a part of mine as well. That includes the SOA too.

We were no longer on lock down and everyone left the clubhouse. I took Lila and Cherry with me, we shopped for the party. When we went to drop off everything I stopped at the front door. This would be the first time that I had been back to the house since those men were here. Cherry put her arm around me "Are you okay baby girl?"

"Yes, I'm fine; it's just that this is my first time back here that's all."

When I unlocked the new door it seemed hard to open. So we went in through the garage. To look inside the house; you would have never known that anything ever happened. We unloaded the car and I tried to open the front door and the door knob came off in my hand.

Cherry was laughing "I am almost positive that Half Sac did that."

We were sitting outside at the tables by the clubhouse when we heard Harleys coming. Everyone went to greet their man; happy to have them home and safe. After hearing them all talk, they really believed that they had taken care of the new patch on their own. But I know different, the real truth. This would be another truth that I would have to hide and never be able to tell Jax about.

They wanted everybody to hang out and drink for a while. But Jax told them no, he was going home with his family. He followed me and Abel home on his bike.

After Abel was asleep Jax shared everything with me. He told me about the handling of the patch to the ideas he had about trying to make changes with the club. He already knew that some of his brothers would fight him on any change of any kind but he was going to do it anyway.

Jax was going to start by trying to convince Clay that maybe gun running was not the way to go anymore. That was the one thing that JT fought hard against the club about doing just before he died. But when Clay took over it became their way of survival.

I couldn't seem to sleep even with Jax here. So much has happened over the last few days. So I got up and was getting things ready for tomorrow. I was cutting up vegetables for my relish tray when I felt a cold hand over my mouth "Bella don't scream its Emmett."

He took his hand off my mouth. I turned around "What are you doing here?"

"I don't know, I went for a run and I ended up here. I saw the lights on and you were in here alone. I know that Jax and Abel are asleep."

"Let's go outside before we wake up Jax."

It wasn't well lit so even if Jax looked outside he probably wouldn't see us. "Emmett what is going on? You look like your upset about something."

"I just need a friend right now Bella. I'm sorry that I came over so late, maybe I should leave."

"I am here for you Emmett. You can tell me anything."

Emmett told me that Rosalie had called to tell him about the friend that she had found, that he already knew. She wanted a divorce because she was getting remarried; that I think came as total surprise to him. He said that he knew it would come someday but, it wasn't making it any easier. We talked until almost sun up. He kissed my forehead and told me thank you. I let him know that I was going to be busy today and couldn't come to see him, that I would call him later or he could call me.

Just as I lay down in bed by Jax, Abel started crying. This was going to be a long day.

Jax put the door handle back on the door. It still was hard to shut and open. So tomorrow he is going to replace it. Jax was being a big help today to me too. He said that he wanted to since I took on having a party for the SOA. But I noticed that he hadn't put on his cut yet. That is usually the first thing that he does once he gets dressed. When I asked him about it he said he was trying something new. Just being Jax for a change. That he would put it on before the others got here. I was finding this to be kind of strange and sexy all at the same time.

When I watched Jax playing with Abel on the couch, it was heart touching. To see the way that Jax was with him, he was showing his soft side. You would have never guessed him to be an outlaw. Just a father that loves his son.

Clay and Gemma came early so that Gemma could help. Clay was holding Abel and they were watching TV together. Jax was hanging out not really saying anything.

Gemma was telling me how proud she was of me for doing the party. She seemed to be getting better with me being around.

The doorbell rang and it was Renee. She hugged me and I took her into the living room to meet Jax. When she saw Clay her face turned as white as a ghost.

"Oh no."

* * *

 

**I hope you enjoyed reading me.**

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

 

**BELLAS POV**

 

"Mom are you okay, you don't look well?" She never took her eyes off of Clay.

Clay got up from the couch and handed Abel to Jax. Then he walked over to her "Renee, it's been a long time." I could feel that something wasn't right between my mom and Clay.

But when Gemma came into the room you could cut the tension with a knife. Clay took a couple of steps back from Renee. Gemma went and stood by his side.

Renee looked like she was still in shock "Well I should have known Gemma that you would have eventually ended up with Clay."

What did she mean by that? Was Gemma and Clay involved when my mom was still here?

Renee looked at Jax and his cut "You have to be JTs son, Jackson. Your father was a good man. He was always very kind to me as he was to everyone. It's too bad that not everyone saw him as that, and it's too bad your mother is such a whore." That comment got her a slap across the face from Gemma.

"I suggest that you chose the words carefully that are about to come out of your mouth. You know what bad shit can end up happening when we run our mouth and say things that should be left alone."

Jax handed Abel to me and walked in between them "Enough, what the hell is going on?"

"Renee called me a whore; I'm not going to take that from anybody."

Renee grabbed my arm "Bella we are leaving, now."

"No, I 'm staying here with Jax." She was pissed, I have never really seen my mother pissed before.

"Like hell you are. I will not have you anywhere near any of these people. They will do nothing but ruin your life. Trust me Bella I know. You are not safe as long as you are with them. I am not leaving here until you leave with me."

"I think that there are high emotions going on right now. Maybe we should all just take a step back for a bit. Bella is as safe here as she is in her mother's arms when she is with us. You don't have to worry about her I give you my word that I will personally watch over her. So why don't we just let things calm down tonight and let Bella stay. We are getting ready for a party for the SOA. Then why don't you come by the clubhouse tomorrow? I think you and I have some unhandled shit that we need to discuss."

Rene never answered yes or no to Clay. But she looked scared right now.

"Bella, I am begging you to get in the car with me and leave right now. This life is not what it seems."

I was trying to hug her but she just kept walking out the door "Mom, I'll call you later and l love you."

Clay and Gemma said they were going for a ride to calm down. Jax and I were still confused about what had just happened. Jax told me something was wrong by what Gemma said to Renee. That something was going on that obviously everyone knows about but us.

He asked me to call my mom and ask her to come over when it was just us. She was reluctant at first but after Jax talked to her, she finally agreed. He told her that we would keep it to ourselves whatever it was she had to say and no one would know that she came to talk to us. But I was a little concerned when he told Renee not to go to the clubhouse without him being there. Renee said she would call back tonight or tomorrow to set up a time to meet with us. But she would not come back to the house again.

When Jax hung up the phone I asked him why he told Renee not to go to the clubhouse without him being there. He told me that he has a bad feeling of that whatever truth she knows could cause a major shit storm. I have to trust his judgment; he knows them better than anyone.

Jax and I both put on our happy faces through the victory party. But our hearts just wasn't into it. Gemma made a point to tell me and Jax several times that she was sorry about losing her temper with Renee. Jax acted like it was no big deal and Renee should have never said that to her. He also just played it off that my mom just didn't want me dating a biker. Gemma seemed pleased by that. But I knew that he had the mask of hiding the truth on right now. Maybe he has gotten so good at it that even Gemma doesn't know anymore.

When everyone left I went in to take a shower. When I came out Jax was sitting on the bed holding my cell phone.

"Emmett Cullen called while you were in the shower."

"Oh is everything okay with him? Do I need to call him back?"

"I only answered it because someone kept calling over and over; I didn't know if it was your mom or not. But it looks like you have been talking to him a lot lately. So why don't you tell me if he's okay? You told me that you didn't want anything to do with the Cullens and I don't remember you giving him your cell phone number that day at the restaurant." I was trying to think about what I needed to say. I couldn't tell Jax the truth that vampires had saved his life.

"Alice is Emmett's sister and she still had my number from before they left Forks. She had used Emmett phone to call me a few times. With your help I have moved on from my past and made peace with the Cullens." Which not all of that was a lie. Jax has made me a stronger person and I did make peace with the Cullens.

"Jax, I am sorry that I forgot to tell you. Everything has moved so fast lately that I must have forgotten. You were gone, the party today and then the thing with my mom and your mom. They are coming back for a visit and wanted to meet you the right way. They know how important you and Abel are in my life. Emmett was probably just calling to set up a time." That wasn't a total lie either. The Cullens know exactly how important Jax and Abel are in my life.

"I'm sorry Bella and your right, shit has been moving too fast. I just don't like another guy talking to you so much. You didn't say anything so I thought maybe you were hiding something from me. I don't think that I could stand to lose you." All I could think was shit; Emmett told me this is how Jax would be about him and double shit because now I had to have Jax spend time with the Cullens.

When Jax went in to take his shower I texted Emmett that I would talk to him tomorrow. He sent one back asking how pretty boy was? I swear human or vampire, men are all the same.

When Jax came in the bedroom he was being so loving with me. I felt the same connection that I felt when I watched him ride away a few days ago. After we made love he was holding me. We talked until I must have dozed off.

Jax was leaving for work and he was going to have a long day today. He was going to try to talk to Clay today about not running guns anymore. I kissed him and wished him luck.

I called Emmett and told him about what had happened. That I told Jax they were coming back and wanted to meet him. I really needed them to go along with that. He told me no problem. They would back my story up for me. That was a sigh of relief. I don't like having to lie to Jax but, I can't tell him the truth either about the Cullens. This afternoon Abel and I are going for a visit to the Cullens house.

 

**CHURCH POINT OF VIEW**

 

Clay was telling everyone about the next shipment of AK guns that was coming in. Their prospective buyer had backed out. The club could not afford to sit on them for long. Payment would be due to the Irish. With all of the hits the club has taken lately they are broke. It was going to be their top priority to move them.

Jax wasn't thinking about moving guns or the trouble they would be in with the Irish if they didn't make payment. He was thinking about the words his father had said after reading the words of Emma Goldman from the wall and their true meaning for the club.

 

* * *

**The concept was pure,**

**simple, true, it inspired**

**me, led a rebellious fire,**

**but ultimately I learned**

**the lesson that Goldman,**

**Prudot and the others**

**learned. That true freedom**

**requires sacrifice and pain.**

**Most human beings only**

**think they want freedom.**

**In truth they yearn for the**

**bondage of social order,**

**rigid laws, materialism, the**

**only freedom man really**

**wants, is the freedom to**

**become comfortable.**

 

* * *

Jax knew that his father's words really meant the pain and suffering the club had already experienced over the years. The greed that has drove them to keep doing wrong and more bad shit that comes with padding their own pockets to make themselves comfortable.

Because the Sons never let anyone get in their way, no matter who they were to them. Sometimes it's even been the families of club members that have paid with their own lives. Jax always felt that Clay had something to do with Donna's death. But he could never prove it. He knew why Mary was still so bitter with them. This is another truth that the club turns their head to and looks away from.

These days when Jax looked at the club he was looking into the face of the devil himself. But he was standing his ground. It was time for a change. He felt stronger knowing that he had Bella by his side.

When new business was called Jax took the floor "We should search out another prospect of revenue. Gun running isn't the same as it used to be for SAMCRO. I move a motion that we come up with a plan to reach out and find other sources."

There was no way Clay was going to stop running guns. He knew Bella was only giving strength to Jax crusade. Clay looked directly into Jax's eyes.

"SAMCRO deals guns period. I let you have your little romp as porn king only because of trying to help a fellow brother Otto and his old lady, Luann. You ended up as I recall tying the club to prostitution. You got that same member's old lady killed. So motion denied, there will be no vote on it."

Even though Clay knew that Jax had nothing to do with Luann getting killed; he hoped that it was putting doubt in the other brother's minds that were sitting at the table. He needed them to doubt that Jax could lead them.

Jax stood and stared Clay down "You're really gonna sit there and lay the guilt of a dead wife on me? This isn't how shit works. I'm the VP and it coming to a goddamn vote."

Clay knew he had no choice, he picked up the gavel "Fine you have one week to present your little fairy tell plan, vote set for next week." Then he banged his gavel.

Jax went to set outside to toke and calm down. Piney was walking out of the clubhouse. He stopped by Jax side "When I saw you in there today, it was like watching JT. You made me proud."

He put his hand on Jax's shoulder "It time for a change."

Jax knew he had at least one brother on his side.

 

**BELLAS POV**

 

Abel and I were on our way to visit the Cullens. Jax called to tell me he loved me but seemed down. He said it was just a rough day and couldn't wait for it to be over.

My cell had been going off all morning but this time it was Renee. She and Phil are going to meet us this weekend. She doesn't want to come back to Charming, so we will meet them halfway.

Rene said there was something important that she needs to tell me. But she also had something that she wanted to give Jax. When I questioned her about it all she would say is that it was JTs and Jax needed to have it. This seemed odd to me, Renee was having serious conversation with me like she was my Mother.

When I asked her about the club her only response was; that was a different time when she was a different person. That I needed to remember that she was young then.

Emmett loved playing with Abel. He would look at Emmett; just coo and smile. It was so sweet watching them together. When I asked if I could bring Abel today, Emmett told me that if Abel was a part of my life then he was a part of his too. I think it's too bad that Emmett can't have children; he would have been such a good dad.

Alice bought a shit load of baby stuff for Abel. She planned on coming by the garage to meet Jax and give me the stuff then. She said this would help with our story of making Jax believe.

Jasper was the only one that didn't hold Abel. I think it frightened him to but, give him time. I don't see how anyone could be around Abel and just not love him.

When Abel fell asleep; Alice said she would watch him while Emmett and I took a walk. I trusted her with him, she loved having him around.

We walked out to where they had set up a sitting area; tables and chairs. By the way it was decorated fancy, I would say Alice did it. Emmett had been quiet during our walk. He asked me if I ever thought about having my own child and I really hadn't. "Not really, I love having Abel around but I have never really thought about having a baby of my own."

Jax called, I was leaving to meet him at the clubhouse. I told the Cullens that I would see them tomorrow.

 

**CLUBHOUSE POINT OF VIEW**

 

Clay had already set in motion ways to handle two birds with one stone. Clay needed a way to convert Jax attention from the club operations by causing some personal conflicts in his life. Clay also really didn't want Jax to be with Bella. Jax has become a lot more head strong and forceful since meeting her.

Clay's plan was to cause doubt in Bella's mind about Jax's loyalty to her. Clay knew that Jax would focus all of his attention on trying to make it right with Bella that he would not be able to keep up with what was going on with the Sons.

So Clay figured that by the time that Jax found out the direction that he had been secretly moving the club towards, it would be too late for Jax to stop it.

Clays received a text and it was time.

"Jax."

"Yeah."

"Would you mind if I used that picture that you have in your room of me and JT? I'm writing a tribute to him. It is almost the anniversary of his death."

Jaxs looked touched that Clay would be even considering doing such a thing for his dad to spite their words earlier.

"Sure, I'll get it."

As Jax walked back to his room Clay went over and opened the bar door to let Tara in. Clay made sure that no one but him and Jax would be in bar tonight. He had sent anyone that came in on a bullshit errand.

Clay told Tara that Bella would be there any minute and to make sure that she stuck to the plan. He had Tara waiting outside until he received the text from the one that had been watching Bella to know just about when she would arrive.

Clay went back and sat down at the bar. He was thinking what a stupid bitch Tara really was. Clay convinced Tara that if she helped him to get rid of Bella that she could have Jax. He would personally make sure of it. Clay would never really allow Tara to be a part of the SOA but she doesn't know that.

Bella went and dropped Abel off with Gemma at the office. She was hoping to have some time alone with Jax tonight because he had such a bad day.

Bella came walking into the bar and asked Clay where Jax was. He told her that Jax was in his room with Tara. Clay even looked at his watch to be convincing

"I don't know what they could be doing back there? They have been back there for a long time. But I'm sure there is nothing to worry about. Tara was Jax's first love but he finally got over her after she broke him a lot of years ago."

Bella went back to Jax's room and opened the door. As on cue Tara said exactly what Clay had told her to say "So the little bitch is just your Nanny. I love you too Jax." Then she kissed him.

Tara smirked as she looked at Bella "Is there something that I can help you with?"

Jax turned around and saw Bella standing there in the door way with a hurt look on her face. Bella just walked away.

Jax told Tara to get the fuck out. She kept telling him that they still could make it work between them. He finally got pissed and shoved her off of him. He told her that there was no chance in hell that they would ever get back together and that he loved Bella. She slapped his face and walked out.

When Jax walked into the bar Bella was bring in Abel's diaper bag from the car. She went over and dropped it at Jax's feet.

"Since I am just your Nanny, my work hours are from 7:30am to 5:00 pm. I would appreciate an advanced notice if you're not going to be on time. If my schedule permits I might consider working over. I left Abel with Gemma."

Jax went to take Bella by the hand to explain that nothing had happened between him and Tara, when she slapped him too with her other hand. It was the same cheek that Tara had just slapped. Then she walked out the door.

Opie, Lila, Cherry and Half Sac had come in behind Bella. They stood there watching it all but not being sure what was going on. Opie came over to Jax.

"Rough night brother, what the hell happened?"

"I have no idea." To be honest he really didn't.

Clay was smoking his cigar at the bar with a smile on his face. The plan went well.

 

**BELLAS POV**

 

I couldn't understand how one day Jax loved me and I was Abel's mommy, then the next day he was in love with someone else. I was so hurt by him, but I didn't want to hurt or make Abel suffer because of it.

My cell was going off Jax, Cherry, Lila and even Gemma kept calling. I didn't want to talk to Jaxs right now. But Cherry never gave up, she told me to meet her and Lila at a bar they go to. I reminded her that I'm only eighteen "Bella, your Jackson Tellers old lady. Do you think that they will tell you no? Don't worry baby girl, we won't let anything happen to you."

Maybe I wasn't strong enough to walk by Jax's side like I thought I was. Was I really his old lady? Was this part of what my mom was trying to tell me? Was she Clay's old lady at one time?

Gemma even came to join us. I wasn't sure how she would be after that thing with my mom but, she seemed like the Gemma I have always known.

I was getting shit faced for the first time in my life. My cell went off and it was Emmett. He wanted to know why I couldn't form a sentence. Lila finally took away the phone from me and told him. He asked her what bar we were at?

Opie called Lila's cell. Jax was with him and wanted to know if I would talk to him. I told her to tell him not now that I would talk to him tomorrow. I was starting to have a good time until Jax wanted to talk to me. I don't want to think about him anymore tonight. More booze, I need more booze.

When Emmett walked in they were all mesmerized by him, every woman in the bar. Cherry, Lila and Gemma loved him. He could charm anyone. I told them about dating his brother and his family was her to visit for a while. Cherry could not stop staring at Emmett.

"Damn Bella, what the hell does his brother look like?"

Lila was shit faced too "Emmett, I just wanted to tell you that I think you are smokin hot. I would definitely do you."

He just smiled and never said anything.

They asked him question after question. He told them he had a little construction company and that kept him busy. When they asked him how his muscles got so big, he told them that was because he spent so much time pounding nails into wood. I giggled at that, if they only knew the truth.

Emmett went over to the bar to get another round of drinks. Even he was drinking with us. Gemma was the one that surprised me the most "You know Bella; sometimes you have to educate your old man too. Remind them of where home is. I'm thinking about hiring Emmett to do some carpentry work around the clubhouse. I bet he could make them all do some thinking about where home is. Because I sure as hell wouldn't mind him pounding me like he does nails."

We all laughed. She was shit faced too "What, I'm old not dead. If I were you I would show Jaxs his place. I would start with sex on legs over there. Who wouldn't want to love up on that?"

She pointed to Emmett. I turned around and he had a huge smile on his face. Of course he had heard our conversation.

When he came back to the table he put my drink down on the table and whispered in my ear "Use me baby, I bet I can make pretty boys blood boil. But I don't think from what I heard tonight that Jackson deserves you anyways."

 

**(****)**

 

I woke up the next morning with a splitting head ache, upset stomach and feeling like my mouth was full of cotton. I was lying on a bed with Emmett.

He told me he ended up giving everybody a ride home last night. It was over cast and supposed to rain today so he could get out to take me where ever I wanted to go.

"Bella if you need some where to stay, come here. We would all love to have you. I don't know everything that happened with you and Jax but you don't have to take any shit from him. But no matter what you decide I will be there for you."

I hugged him back and told him thank you. I didn't know if I would be welcomed back at Jax or even If I wanted to go back there. I knew that I wouldn't leave Abel hanging though. I would take care of him until Jax could find someone else if that is what he wants.

I went in and took a quick shower; it did make me feel better. Emmett was going to drop me off at the clubhouse and I would stay there and watch Abel today. He said he would pick me up if I needed a ride.

Apparently sometime last night Gemma hired Emmett to do some carpentry work in the clubhouse. So he was going to talk to her when he drops me off.

He is really a good friend. He took care of me and the girls last night. I don't think that I will ever be able to repay him.

 

**CLUBHOUSE POV**

 

Jax came to work early with Abel this morning. He had been up all night worrying about where Bella was and what was going to happen with them. Because the more he thought about it, would he have believed her if he had walked in on the same thing? He still had no good explanation for what had happened.

But Bella never came home. He was hoping that she slept at the clubhouse or stayed the night with one of the girls. He finally stopped calling her at 4:00am because she wasn't going to answer him. When he opened his room door, she hadn't been there. He sat down on the bed and held Abel.

"Don't worry buddy, I'll figure my shit out and bring mommy back home."

When Cherry and Lila came in Jax asked them about Bella. He noticed they didn't look like they were doing too well. This told him they were out most of the night together drinking. Both Cherry and Lila said they had no idea where Bella was.

When Jax started asking them questions about their night; Lila had to go. Cherry told him that the night was fuzzy from the alcohol she drank and really couldn't remember much. Jax knew they were lying or trying to covering up something that he wasn't supposed to know.

When Gemma came walking in; she looked worse than Lila and Cherry. Jax asked her about Bella. She acted like she thought she stayed at the clubhouse. But told him she had a lot to drink so she could be wrong.

Even though Gemma hates Renee and Jax was her son; she would always stand by the old lady oath of not narkin on one of your sisters. Just like the brothers would do for one another; just like Jax wouldn't nark on Clay.

Jax gave Abel to Gemma and went to work. He needed to keep himself busy. He believed that Bella would come home to him and everything would be fine. At least that was what he was hoping for. Bella has not only become his old lady and best friend; but his partner in life that makes it all worth it.

But he couldn't concentrate to work so he went over to the clubhouse where everybody was hanging out until it was time to go to work.

When Emmett pulled up with Bella in his Jeep; Jaxs was upset. They came walking up together. Jax went over to Bella and touched strands of her wet hair.

"Where did you stay last night?" He had that same look on his face that Bella had when she saw him with Tara.

Bella told him that she spent the night at the Cullens house with Alice. Jax gave Emmett a hard look.

"Right, you stayed with Alice."

Bella was walking in the clubhouse with Emmett behind her. After Bella walked in Jax stepped in front of the door.

"Members only."

"I was invited here by Gemma Morrow; she hired me to do some carpentry work to the clubhouse. Because I am very good with my hands, just ask Bella." Jax was pissed but he knew if Gemma had hired him then he could go in.

Jax followed after Emmett into the bar. Clay was looking Emmett up and down.

"Who the hell are you?"

"I was hired by Mrs. Morrow to do some handy work for your clubhouse."

Clay shook his head "I bet she hired you and I know why."

 

**BELLA POV**

 

I tried to stay away from everyone today; I was still feeling like hell. I kept Abel in Jax's room and only went out of it when he needed a bottle.

Jaxs came into his room to talk at lunch time. I agreed after work to talk with him. He said he would take me to pick up the car from the bar on the way home. That meant that he still considered it my home too. I let Emmett know that Jax was going to take me to get the car and I would talk to him later.

Gemma took Abel home with her. She was going straight home. She said it had been a long time since she pulled an all-nighter.

Jax never said a word to me when he dropped me off to pick up the car. I followed him back to the house. When we went into the house the first thing he did was hug me.

Then he led me by the hand over to the couch. "Bella I don't know exactly what to say. I think you and I have a lot to talk about. But I want you here so we can work our shit out. I don't know what happened with Tara; I swear on Abel's life. One second I went to get a picture out of my room for Clay then the next second Tara just shows up. Then it wasn't but a few minutes and you were there. Nothing happened, I know it looks different but I didn't do anything with her."

This was nothing like Clay had told me. The fact that he swore on Abel's life made me believe what he was saying.

So I told Jax what Clay had said when I came into the bar. He went into a rage and kicked over the coffee table.

"That son of bitch."

He took his cut off and threw on the couch. Then he took the gun out of the back of his pants and stuck down the front. He pulled his T-shirt down over it.

Jax was pissed off but I had no idea why. He went flying out the door. So I followed him.

"Where are you going?"

He got on his bike and started it up "I'm gonna have a talk with my step daddy."

 

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed reading me.**

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**CLUBHOUSE POV**

When Jax parked his bike; Happy greeted him "Hey shit head, what's up?"

Jax got off his bike but never said anything. He was on a mission and another path leading him to hell.

When Jax went inside the clubhouse; Clay was sitting at a table with Tig, Chibs and Bobby. Jax walked over to Clay grabbed him by his cut and raised him up out of the chair "You son of bitch you set me up with Bella." Tig being Clay's right hand man and Sergeant-at-Arms; went to grab Jax to stop it.

But Bobby grabbed Tig "No, they need to work their shit out, let them be."

Clay pulled away from Jax and took steps back away from him "I don't know what the hell you're even talking about. It sounds like somebody has been lying to you son. If anybody said I would do anything like that their just trying to cause shit. I love you and Bella."

This seemed to enrage Jax even more that Clay would call him his son and be the evil devil in his face at the same time.

Jax walked up face to face with Clay "I know what you did with Bella and I know a lot more things that you've done. I'm gonna fuck your world."

Everyone was really confused about what Jax had said to Clay. They all couldn't understand what Jax beef was with Clay lately.

Jax wanted to kill Clay when he came through the door. But when Jax thought of Bella and Abel; he made the decision to handle it by challenging Clay for his seat at the head of the table. To do it the right way, JT's way. Without the club and being King; Clay had nothing.

As Jax was walking out the door "If the devil lands at my door step again, I'm coming after you and nobody will stop me."

Clay yelled back at him "Don't you come through those doors again without your fucken cut on." Jax not wearing his cut showed disrespect to the club and that Clay had no authority over him.

Clay was trying to think of ways to bring the old Jaxs back. Because Clay knew that he couldn't let him walk away from the club. But there was no way in hell that he could allow Jax to challenge him either.

Clay didn't know if it was Tara or Bella was the one that told Jax. After Clay thought about it; Bella couldn't have because she didn't know what was going on either. So he was positive that it was Tara. He was going to deal with Tara because he knew in his heart that he could never bring that kind of harm against Bella.

Opie followed Jax outside "Jaxs are you gonna tell me what the hell is going on with you and Clay?"

"I can't man, I don't know who I can trust anymore. I'm not sure if what I say will end up landing in Clay's ear or not."

Jax could really only think of one person he trusted right now and that was Bella.

Opie couldn't believe that Jax didn't trust him. They were raised as club brothers and blood brothers.

"Fuck you Jax."

"Op I'm sorry it's just shits all fucked up right now. I think Clay wants to break me and Bella up, I have no idea why. There is something going on with him and Bella's mom, I have no idea what. I think Clay has been doing a lot shit behind the clubs back."

Opie understood what Jax was saying. He told Jax about how he and Juice had went to Clay; they told him that one of Darby's guys was selling crank on the border of Charming. Clay blew it off. Clay told them that they would deal with it later; the club had too much going on to deal with anymore. He also told them to keep it to themselves for right now.

This was the number one rule of the outlaws, no drugs or pussy sold in Charming. Nothing was to happen in Charming that brought outsider attention or interest. Happy walked up while they were talking and was taking it all in.

Jax went and got on his bike "Op, who was the guy?"

Opie got on his bike and told Jax it was the one they called Dog.

Happy got on his bike too "Shit kickin I'm in."

Three outlaws rode away to go service their kind of justice.

**BELLA POV**

I was starting to worry about what Jax would do to Clay. I called his cell but he didn't answer. So I was on my way to the clubhouse when I passed Jax, Opie and Happy. I turned around and followed them.

They were parked in front of a shit hole bar that looked like it would be rough inside. I stood in the door way and watched them.

Jax grabbed a pool stick and hit a guy across the chest with it, breaking it into. When he fell to the ground; Jax was punching his face over and over. Happy and Opie had their guns drawn and were waiting for anyone that made a move.

Jax picked up the broken pool stick and shoved it through the guy's pants into his privates. I wasn't sure what all damage he had done to that guy.

Opie pulled Jax off of him and was trying to get him to stop "Jax enough you've made your point, you've sent the message."

Jax kicked the guy as he went to walk by him "No dealing in Charming. Pass the word there's gonna be a new King in town."

Then he spit on him. I knew that had a meaning in their world but I wasn't sure what it was.

This is the first time I had witnessed Jax's outlaw side first hand; he was uncontrollable and unstoppable. He showed me the side of him that was capable of hurting and killing people. Just like he had already told me was there.

When Jax was coming towards the door and saw me; he dropped his head. I think that was a side of him that he didn't want me to see. He told me that we needed to get out of here and to follow them. Jax pulled his bike into the grocery stores parking lot but the others rode on.

He was standoffish with me and kept his distance. So I went to him and wrapped my arms around him. He hugged me back and told me he loved me. He wasn't sure how I would see him now after what he had just done. But I had seen vampires tear another vampire apart and burn the pieces. I had witnessed werewolves tearing another vampire apart with their teeth. I still loved them and Jax was no different.

Jax told me that he hoped I would understand that he just needed to ride right now by himself and he would be home soon. I did understand what he meant and told him that I would be at home waiting for him.

I waited at home for Jax and it was getting late. I had been calling his cell but he never answered. So I decided to go look for him, I went by the clubhouse and he wasn't there. Next I went to our spot. His bike was parked at the top of the path.

Jax was lying on his back on the dock staring up at the stars. When I got closer I saw he had a bottle in one hand and a joint in the other. As I stood looking down at him.

"Jaxs are you drunk?"

"Yep, come be with me."

We laid there along time staring at stars together not saying anything. Then it came out of the blue from him.

"Did you fuck Emmett last night?"

"Nothing happened between me and Emmett last night."

I thought I was never going to get Jax in the house and to bed. He was fucked up. I lay beside him thinking about so many things. But most of all what had happened over the last couple of days. I was so tired that I decided to put it all away until tomorrow.

I left Jax in bed, he was still passed out. Putting his cigarettes, aspirins and water on the night stand; I kissed him good bye and went to get Abel from Gemma.

**CLUBHOUSE POV**

Emmett and Jasper were hanging a long bar mirror that Gemma wanted done, shirtless. Gemma felt it was too hot for them to wear a shirt while they were working so hard. Every old lady, sweet butt and crow eater was at the bar fighting for their spot to watch them work. They were all sitting there pretending like they were just eating pancakes. When Bella came into the bar Cherry and Lila called her over.

Cherry whispered to Bella "How many more of them are there?"

Bella told her that there was one more. The one she hadn't thought of in while.

Lila whispered to them both "Watch this."

She accidentally on purposed tossed her fork over the bar to the floor.

"Hey Emmett, I seemed to have dropped my fork, could you pick it up for me?"

Emmett had a huge smile on his face knowing everything that they had just said. Jasper just rolled his eyes.

Emmett bent over making sure to give them a good show. When he stood up he even stretched, flexing his muscles for them. He handed Lila back her fork and went back to work.

Bella whispered to him "Show off." He turned around and winked at her. Then all you heard was a lot of forks hitting the floor.

Every sweet butt, crow eater and even a few old ladies hit on Jasper and Emmett. Jasper was polite about it and told each one of them that he was happily married. But Emmett told them that he was in love with someone and only had eyes for one woman. Emmett knew he just had to find it within himself to tell her that.

The males in club didn't find them as charming though. Juice and Opie were setting at table discussing the new helpers. "I'm as hot as those guys, so I don't understand why all the women are throwing themselves at them."

Opie laughed "Yeah man, you keep telling yourself that."

Hanging around the clubhouse and having supernatural hearing both Jasper and Emmett had heard a lot of things today that had them concerned for Bella. They came up with their own plan of action. No matter what they had to do; they were going to be around more.

Gemma left with Abel to give Jax and Bella their time tonight together. Bella went to leave when she saw Jasper and Emmett sitting on their new Harleys that they just bought from the club. She couldn't understand why they would want them. They could outrun anything.

Emmett leaned back on his bike and put his hands on the grips on the handle of bars. "Don't you think we look cool and hot on our new bikes?"

"I don't think you could look hotter right now if you tried."

Emmett patted his bike seat for Bella to get on "Come on, Jasper is going to go get Alice to take her for a ride. I would look a lot cooler if I had a hottie riding with me."

Bella put on a helmet and got on.

**BELLAS POV**

I thought riding with Jax was bad, but oh no, Emmett scared the shit out me. Jaxs was smooth with movements and always seemed in control of his bike, it was like they were one. Emmett was fast and wild. I thought for second he was going to lay us down.

He kept telling me not to worry, if anything happened he would have me in arms before I hit the ground. That comforted me, some. But I just kept holding on to him tighter. He was laughing at me.

"You just need to loosen up and feel the ride with me."

When we came to a stop light Emmett took his hand off the grip and put it on my leg. Jax doesn't even do that. But I found it comforting and it relaxed me a bit to enjoy the ride.

Alice was excited that Jasper bought a bike. To all of them it was like they were human when they were on it. I couldn't understand their concept, but if it made them happy who the hell I am to knock it.

We rode to mine and Jax's spot. His bike was still parked here from last night. We were sitting around talking and laughing when I looked up to see Jax walking down the path. He looked pissed off even from a distance.

We all stood up and I was hoping that now was a good time to introduce Jax to the Cullens. But it was not turning out to be that way. He came up to me and I was right, he was pissed.

"Why the fuck haven't you been answering your phone? Nobody knew where the fuck you were and your car is still at clubhouse. I was freaking the fuck out afraid that something happened to you. Op brought me to get my bike so I could look for you. Then I find you here."

Fuck I left my purse in Emmett's saddle bag with my phone. I wasn't trying to upset Jaxs or make him worry about me. I just forgot to call him to let him know I was going to be late.

Then Jax went and stood in front of Emmett "Maybe I need to explain the rules of the ride to you. You never touch another man's bike and you never ride with another man's old lady. Breaking any of those can cause bad shit to go down."

Emmett stared back at Jax and I knew it was time to go. I told the Cullens good bye and I would see them later. I got my purse from Emmett's saddle bag and rode home with Jax.

To say that I was getting the cold shoulder when we got home was an understatement. So I finally decided it was time to work our shit out. I went into the bedroom and Jax was sitting on the bed when I came out."

Jaxs I am sorry that I worried you tonight, I just went for a ride with the Cullens and lost track of time."

"No you didn't Bella, you went for a ride with Emmett. Do you know how pissed and hurt I was when I found you there at our spot with them? That was meant to be a special place for just us and you shared it with them, or should I say him."

I never thought about it that way. It was a place that I could meet with them when it was sunny so no one would see them. It was used as a place where no one would over hear our conversations, because no one could ever find out their secrets. But it's not like I could explain that to Jas. So I didn't say anything. Maybe he will get over it.

"Look Bella, I don't want to fight with you too. I have been fighting all week with somebody. I just have a feeling that something is off about the Cullens. They blow into town; they are all young and have a lot of fucken cash to throw around. They paid cash for those bikes today. Something doesn't add up."

The last thing I needed was for Jaxs to start searching out the Cullens. I know him well enough to know that when he wants to find out something, he won't stop until he does. He can't ever find out any of their truths. So I needed to change his perspective of them or throw him off. I was trying to change the subject by asking him how the vote was going on not running guns, but he wasn't going to have that.

"Will you tell me how close you are to Emmett? Cause I don't like the way he looks at you. I think that if I lost you, it would be the final shove into hell for me and I'm not sure that I would make it back."

After talking we finally had our shit worked out. Jax told me why he did what he did to the guy in the bar and what Clay had done to us. The thing that stuck out in my mind when he explained there outlaw justice was when he told me.

"When the Sons do right and good things nobody remembers, but when we do wrong no one forgets." Well I am at least sure that guy that lost his balls won't ever forget.

I couldn't understand how using the same methods that club always had used was making progress in the change. So I asked him "You keep saying that you want things to change but aren't you repeating old club behavior?"

"Is there anything you love so much, you'd protect it, no matter the cost; the damage it did to you?" Of course I answered yes and thought of the Cullens.

"That's how I feel about this club. Since I was five Bella, all I've ever wanted was a Harley and Cut. Change won't happen quick, or without blood, but it'll happen. It has to." I realized tonight that Jackson Teller was a methodical man just like his father was.

We were kissing and holding each other when he stopped "I need connection with you right now Bella. I need to know that you love me." When Jax started sucking my breast and running his hands over my body, I felt the fire coming in between my legs.

I did the same to him; explored his body with my hands. I kissed his chest and took my time when I got to his tattoo of Abel's name over his heart. He grabbed me by my hair and bent my head back; kissing and sucking on my neck. He had me panting and aching to feel him inside of me.

When his cock entered me I couldn't help but to gasp at the feel of him. He was trying to show me with every stroke how much he loves me. I was digging my nail into his back and he was moaning; pumping into me harder.

We changed positions and I was on all fours in front of him. I was screaming in pleasure when he grabbed me by my hair and pounded into me as hard as he could until he came.

Tonight I promised Jackson Teller that I would walk by his side as long as he needed me and I will not break that promise to him.

**(****)**

Jax has an overnight run with the club; they found another buyer for their AK supply. I went to the clubhouse to see him off. Gemma wanted Abel for the night so I decided to go back home and just rest. I was exhausted from this week.

When I got home there was a brown manila envelope stuck in the door with my name on it. I went inside got a soda out of the frig and opened it. Inside were a small white envelope with my name on it and a larger one with Jaxs.

It was a letter from Rene. When I read it I thought I was going to hyper ventilate.

* * *

**_Bella,_ **

**_I am sorry I could not do this in person. I tried but, I just couldn't. Phil and I are going back to Arizona to live. He knows already what I have to tell you and I hope that someday, you will be able to forgive me._ **

**_I never dreamed that you would meet any of the SOA by coming to Charming to stay with Mary; I know how much she hates them. But, you met the one person that ties everyone back to them, Jackson._ **

**_When I was seventeen I met Clay Marrow. He was the most handsome and powerful man I had ever met. I fell in love with him and the club ways. It seems like such a glamorous and wanted life when you are looking from the outside in. But when you're on the inside it is a different world._ **

**_A couple of months after being with Clay the club turned into chaos and was dividing sides. I witnessed a lot of horrible things that I try to forget but never will be able to._ **

**_When your grandparents found out that I had been sexual involved with Clay they pressed charges against him for statutory rape. I was only seventeen and he was almost twenty four. They did this to keep him away from me. But a lot of bad things happened. They dropped the charges against him and we moved away a week later. They did this to protect me. I just couldn't see that then. We never spoke his name again._ **

**_I met Charlie as soon as we moved to Forks. It was almost the same love story from beginning to ending you had with Edward. I found out a month later that I was pregnant._ **

**_I never wanted to know for sure if you were Charlie's or Clay's daughter, but I am positive that you are Clays. I never wanted you to know that kind of life and the chaos that it brings._ **

**_Charlie never knew about Clay and as far as he is concerned you will always be his daughter. I never wanted to hurt Charlie or you with my truths. I will not tell you that you should or shouldn't tell Charlie, that has to be your decision._ **

**_I am only telling you this because I think that Clay already suspects that you are his, I didn't want him to tell you or for him to use that against you. I am trying to protect you. Even though you might not see that right now._ **

**_You have always been more mature for your age than I ever have been. I love you and hope that someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me._ **

**_Love Mom_ **

* * *

I cried for me and Charlie. I cried for Rene, hell I even cried for Clay. But still none of this made any sense, until I opened up Jackson's envelope. I thought I was in shock when I read my letter but, after reading his I went to the bathroom and threw up. I went to the one person who I can tell and share everything with, Emmett.

After reading everything even Emmett was in shock and it's hard to shock a fucking vampire. I wanted him to keep everything; no one else could see this, especially Jax. Emmett agreed to keep it as long as I agreed to let him be around more. Staying here with Jax and being around the SOA, was a lot more dangerous than even I realized. Emmett wanted to be there to protect me.

I wasn't ready and still didn't know how to tell Jax the truth. But I would find a way. I now understood how my life and Jax seemed so similar; we have both been living a lie throughout our life. We believed in the people that we should never have a reason to doubt. They feed us a line and we built a life on it. But I know when Jax finds out the truth, he will kill them all. This would only send him to hell without a way to return. I love him so much and can't let that happen.

But I need to be strong for Emmett too. He got his divorce papers from Rosalie. He said he was fine but I could tell that something was bothering him. Tonight we are two people that needed a friend.

It was so hot and humid outside. He wanted to take me for a ride on his bike after sun down. Doesn't anybody drive cars around this town? We went to my and Jax's spot. Even though I knew it would piss Jax off if he found out that we came here, but this is what Emmett and I needed. We just needed to escape the world together and get it all out.

We poured our hearts out to each other just like we always do. But I could tell something was still wrong with Emmett. I asked him several times what was wrong.

Emmett asked me if I really wanted to have total disclosure and I told him of course. He wrapped his arms around me.

"Bella, I'm in love with you." Then he kissed me.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed reading me.**

**Thank you for the comments and KUDOS they are really appreciated. I will keep posting if you want to keep reading.**

 


	9. Chapter 9

**BELLAS POV**

I kissed Emmett back. We stood there wanting more from each other, until the guilt set in of what I had just done. I broke away from him.

"I shouldn't have done that with you, were friends."

"I have never kissed a friend like that nor have they kissed me back like you just did. You can't tell me that you didn't feel it too." I couldn't be honest with myself if I told him that I didn't feel something too. With just a kiss he had taken all my worries away at that moment and cooled the fire within me.

"We have total disclosure between us remember. Now I need that back from you. Do you have feelings for me?" I owed it to him to be honest but, I couldn't do it. I have so much going down right now, I needed to take a step back. Then I thought about Jax, how I can ever look him in the face and not think about what I had just done.

The ride back to the Cullens was different, Emmett drove slow and took a longer way home. When we got there I was going to leave and go home but Emmett stopped me.

"Bella, don't go. We are friends no matter what happens and we always will be. I just needed you to know how I felt and that Jackson is not the only one that wants you. Will you stay with me tonight as my friend?"

I stayed with Emmett and we talked for a long time. But he never brought up me and him again. We talked about Jax and some of the things that he had overheard when he was at the clubhouse. Jax was really trying to make changes and a few of his brothers were willing to follow him. But others will try to hurt him if that is what they have to do to stop him. Even after telling me about how he felt about me; he was still willing to protect Jax from harm. Emmett is such a good man.

We lay on his bed and Emmett held me. All I could think about was; how can the wrong I'm doing against Jax right now feel so right. When I woke up the next morning Emmett wasn't in his bed with me. I went to the bathroom and went to go walk down stairs; when I heard familiar voices that I haven't heard in a while. Carlisle and Esme were here. I wasn't sure that I was ready to deal with them too but, I had to make my peace with them as well.

They came to visit their children that they have been missing so much. For the first time since the Cullens had left Forks, we all have found peace within and some stability. Carlisle was going to talk to the hospital to see if it is possible for him to work the night shift here for while so that he and Esme can be close to their children. Maybe Charming isn't such an evil place after all.

When I went to leave Emmett walked me to my car and told me he would be by before Jax got home. I told him I had to pick up Abel and would see him tomorrow. I just need some time to think.

I watched Abel all afternoon with the same question in my heart. What are parents? Is it the ones that created you? Or is it the ones that raised you and loved you as their own? For most this would mean and be the same thing. But in mine and Abel's case it is different. I decided that Charlie Swan is my father even though Clay Morrow might have donated the sperm. I will never bring it out about Clay unless I have too. Charlie will never need to know. This is one more truth that I will have to hide from Jaxs, at least for now.

But I also decided that I would always make sure that Abel knew his truths about his mother. Even if it meant that I would have to go against Jax to tell him. Abel has the right to know and make his own decisions of who his real parents are. This is what I am most upset about with Renee; she took away my right to make that choice many years ago. I called her cell but she didn't answer. I left her a message that I loved her and I would talk to her later.

The confusing thing was why Clay didn't want me to be with Jax. Unless he was afraid that Jax would find out his truths. That it would bring to the surface things he didn't want Jax to know.

My hardest truth that will have to be hidden from Jackson is Emmett. I know that I feel something for Emmett but I haven't figured out what that is yet. I love Jackson and I do not want to hurt him. But I have to know for sure what my true feelings are. I just needed to soul search.

I made Emmett the promise that I will always be his friend and I will. I promised Jackson that I will stand by his side as long as he needs me and I will. I just need time to figure that shit out.

I still haven't figured out how to handle what Renee was trying to tell Jax. It would kill most men to know the truth but I think it will only fuel his fire to be an outlaw and service more of their kind of justice. But it would be against his own this time. Right now Jax has a full plate and I don't know what his breaking point is. He has started his mission of change and I will stand by his side no matter comes.

Jax called and they will be back in an about an hour. I went into shower and got ready. I just threw on a tank and shorts because it was hot today. I gave Abel a bath and we left.

**CLUBHOUSE POV**

The Sons were already there when Bella and Abel got to the clubhouse. It was Clay that greeted her first. He took Abel from Bella and kissed her forehead. That made Bella's emotions even more fucked up. She was sure Clay knew it too.

Cherry and Lila had a surprise for Bella. When Bella opened the box it was a thin black leather band bracelet. It had a silver plate in the middle that said; SOA VP's old lady, with a diamond. It matched the bands that they wore; only it was personalize for Jackson. Bella wasn't sure that she deserved to wear that right now. Cherry explained the importance.

"Bella, good old ladies are what make or break a club. You're a good old lady to Jaxs. Lila and I both love you. It's time that you wear that with pride."

Lila told Bella that old ladies are more than just the piece of ass that they hang on their arms. They are the glue that keeps their old man together. It brought tears to Bella's eyes when they put it on her.

Bella asked where Jax was. Lila and Cherry went back to Happy's room with her. They already knew what was going on and wanted to be there when she found out. Jax was getting Bella's name tattooed above Abel's name by his heart. Cherry hugged Bella.

"When they tat your name on their body that means that you will always be part of them and they will never forget you. Half Sac has my name on his forearm."

Lila didn't say anything. Opie still only carries Donna's name, but she hoped in heart that day will come for her too.

Jax had a huge smile on his face when he saw the girls standing there. Happy stopped so Jax could go to Bella. He took her hand and put it on his heart.

"You'll always be in here. I found love, trust and strength because of you. I love you Bella."

Then he kissed her. Bella kissed him back feeling the fire that only Jackson can light within her.

Happy rolled his eyes "Hey, fuck her on your own time. Get the fuck back over here so I can finish."

Then Happy winked at Bella. But Bella was feeling the guilt that she was carrying for Emmett.

Gemma wanted to know from Clay how the run went and how Jackson was doing with everything. Clay told her that Jaxs was still trying to challenge him with every call that he made. Clay thinks it is in Jax DNA to challenge him, just like JT did.

Clay was going to try one more time to break up Bella and Jax without using force. Jax showed him on this run that he wasn't going to back down. But Clay also noticed that some of the Sons brothers was starting to follow in Jax's footsteps and was questioning his decisions too. He had to either break Jax down once and for all or stop him period. Clay would do whatever he had to do to protect what he had built over a life time.

**BELLA POV**

I spent the next couple of days avoiding Jax and Emmett as much as I could. My confidant became Abel. I could tell him anything even though he doesn't give me any feedback. But I missed them both; they each fulfill my life in a different way. Is it possible to be in love with two men at the same time in completely different ways?

Jax asked about when we were going to meet with Renee. I told him that they had to go back to Arizona and it wouldn't be until they came back. I needed to decide how to tell him, because he needs to know. The vote to not run guns was coming and I thought I would tell him after that. Let him at least get through that first.

Jax had asked me over and over if something was wrong. He thought that he had done something to make me mad or upset me. But it wasn't him. I just needed to get my own shit together.

I avoided bed time, I would use any excuse not to go to bed at the same time he did. He tried to make love to me several times, but I had done wrong with Emmett. I still didn't know where those feelings fell yet. I just couldn't bring myself to be with Jax.

I talked to Emmett everyday on the phone. He is the most understanding and loving man I have ever known, human or vampire. He told me that he understood that I was torn right now and that he would give me time to think it through. But he missed having me around and just hearing his best friend voice was comforting to him. I told him that I missed him too and would see him soon.

When Jax left for work there was a knock on the door. It was Emmett standing there. There were a lot of people outside right now. So many people were getting ready to leave for work and some kids were already up and playing. I invited him in; I didn't want anybody telling Jax that they had seen him here.

We were both a little uncomfortable at first with each other but, then we went back to our normal selves. Emmett was going to be working at the clubhouse today since it wasn't going to be sunny. He told me that Gemma called him every day to see when he and Jasper were coming back.

I told Emmett that as soon as I was dressed I would be there too. We were standing on the steps saying good bye. Abel was so excited to see Emmett this morning. I think that he missed him too. Emmett leaned into me and kissed me good bye. He touched Abel's head, and then he was gone.

**CLUBHOUSE POV**

When Emmett and Jasper arrived to work at clubhouse Jaxs called Half Sac over.

"Sac, I want you to put a tail on them. I wanna know what time they shit even. Don't tell anybody about it."

Jax was struggling with the Cullens. He knew something was wrong, but couldn't decide what it was. He definitely didn't trust Emmett around Bella.

Bella had been different with Jax ever since he got back from his run. He had missed her so much but he knew something was wrong and she wouldn't tell him. Every time he wanted to make love to her; she became even more distant with him.

When Bella came in, Jax went to her and Abel. He was kissing them, telling them how much he loved them. Jax was watching at how much attention Emmett was paying to them. Jax needed to feel that connection with Bella right now. But he also wanted to let Emmett know that she was his old lady; putting him in his place a little. Jax took Abel to Gemma in the office.

When Jax came back into the clubhouse he took Bella by the hand leading her to his room. He made sure that he said it loud enough that Emmett would hear.

"I need to make love to my old lady and I can't wait until tonight when we get home." Of course he said it loud enough that everyone in the bar heard him, including Clay.

Clay realized that Emmett was getting under Jax's skin. Clay knew Jax felt there was more than just friendship going on with Emmett and Bella. There was so much testosterone in the room right now. He was surprised that they weren't throwing down over Bella because that is the way the old Jax would have handled it. This was making it too easy for Clay to decide what to do next.

After Jax and Bella went back to their room it wasn't minutes until Juice knocked on the door.

Jax was pissed as he yelled through the door "I'm fucken busy, go away."

Juice yelled back "Clay wants to talk to us now, he got a call on the prepay, sorry Jax."

"Sorry baby, rain check?"

"Sure." Bella was relived for the interruption; she wasn't ready to be with Jackson yet.

As they walked back into the bar Emmett decided that he would put Jax in his place now "Damn Bella if Jax can't fuck any longer than that, it's probably not worth taking your clothes off for."

Jax was pissed off and was going over to where Emmett was when Clay stopped him. "We have business to discuss, church now."

Bella went outside, she needed some air and to get away from both of them. She was going to go get Abel from Gemma and play with him.

**CHURCH POV**

Clay started their meeting "I just got a call from Leroy he received a tip that war could be coming to Charming."

He looked at Jax "You wouldn't happen to know anything about a Son attacking one of Darby's guys outside of Charming, where we have no turf and no business being would you?"

"I was just on a ride and the guy came at me, self-defense. I wouldn't conduct business outside club rules, but you wouldn't know anything about that would you?"

"Let me explain something to all of ya. I make decisions daily for this club. I conduct business for the good of it not to counter act it like what you did. Don't tie the SOA to goddamn drug war."

Jaxs smirked even bigger "No drugs or pussy in Charming, so why would they bring their war here? We even try to make sure that our own shit doesn't land in our back door."

Clay decided to ignore Jax the rest of their meeting. Leroy said that sales were down for everybody; the word has it that the Mayans have joined forces with Darby to put the Sons out. They were searching out new territory.

This was going to be counterproductive to Clay's secret plan of where he was taking the club too. He was also seriously pissed that Jax had once again stepped on his toes and handled shit his way.

Clay banged the gavel, meeting over. He asked Jax to hang back. Clay was staring out the window watching Bella play with Abel.

"The only people you are hurting with this beef with me is them." Then Clay walked out into the bar.

Jax went over to the window and watched them play too. They were the reason that he was doing everything that he was doing. He also watched Clay go out front to join them.

Bobby came in "You know brother if this beef gets any bigger between you and Clay, I am going to have to choose a side. This club needs to heal from so many things right now or it won't survive. I think that you're the one that has to make that happen."

Jax knew what Bobby was trying to say but he didn't know how to make it all just go away. But he was doing his hardest to try.

Emmett and Jasper were out front sanding tables when they heard bikes coming and didn't sound like the Sons. Jasper went over to talk to Bella and Clay as part of their plan. If anything went down he would be there to protect Bella and Abel. Emmett was waiting in the drive to see who was coming. It was a different patch and they had their guns drawn.

Both Emmett and Jasper knew they always had to be careful how they handled things, never bringing any suspension to their kind. But they had the surprise attack on their side. Emmett waited by the car for them to get close. He whispered to Jasper that it was almost time to cover Bella and Abel. Bullets would sting them but not kill them.

As the Mayans came closer Emmett clothes lined one off his bike and hit him only hard enough to knock him out; but he wanted to kill him. The others begin to shoot and turn their bikes around to run. It all happened so fast.

Jasper had Bella and Abel covered with his body and he pushed Clay to the ground at the same time. Jax was sitting at the church table when he heard the gun shots.

Jax went running as fast as he could to his love and son. But by the time he got outside it was all over. It stopped Jax in his tracks when he saw Bella and Abel in Emmett's arms comforting them. Jax saw Emmett taking his place with both of them and it was killing him.

Clay got off the ground and thanked Jasper for saving their lives. He told Jasper that the Sons are in his debt. By now all the Sons had gathered around.

"Did you guys see that? Emmett is a fearless mother fucker, he is like the son I always wanted but never had." Clay had probably just said that to hurt Jax and by the look on Jax's face he had.

Jax went over to Emmett "Thank you for saving my family, but I got it from here."

Emmett stepped away from them. Jax was holding his family in his arms. But Jax noticed that Bella never took her eyes off of Emmett even after he had walked away.

Happy walked over to the Mayan lying on the ground and finished the job that Emmett started. He put two bullets in him.

"Fuck you, you piece of shit."

Then he spit on him. Happy never cared if there were witnesses around, when it was time to take care of business. Then he told a couple of the prospects to get rid of the body.

Clay was stuck to Emmett like glue. Clay was praising him and bull shitting with him. Wanting to know more about him and where he came from. Clay asked if he was like that all the time, fearless. Emmett just blew if off that it was an adrenaline rush and he doesn't know what had come over him.

That reminded Bella of when Edward had saved her from being crushed by the van. Bella had stars in her eyes for Emmett right now. But knew it was wrong because of more than just Jackson. When she thought about Edward, it also reminded her that being in love with your ex's brother could only cause more problems and pain for everyone involved. She couldn't let that happen either. Emmett deserved better.

The Sons went back inside to discuss possible scenarios. Was that meant for Clay, Bella or was it to just send a message? Either way they had to retaliate, it's what they do.

Clay invited Emmett and Jasper to stay after work and have a drink with them. But they declined saying they already had plans or they would. Jax was pissed that Clay was inviting them into their world.

"That's bullshit; this bar is for members and family only. So what the fuck are you doing inviting them?"

"Don't be pissed at me that Emmett does a better job protecting your old lady than you do. I wonder what else he can do better for Bella than you can?" Clay got up and walked away.

**BELLA POV**

I went to take a shower, my body was so tired from today but my mind was still going a hundred miles an hour. Jaxs stuck his head in the shower door.

"Do you mind if I come in?"

I left the water running for him and grabbed a towel. I kissed him on my way out "I'm sorry, I was just getting out."

While I was fixing dinner; Jax was giving Abel his bath. I could him making quaking sounds with Abel's little rubber duck and motor boat sounds with his little boat. Those are Abel's favorite tub toys. Jax brought him in for me to kiss him good night.

After dinner I was cleaning off the counter when Jax walked up behind me. He started kissing down my neck. He was running his hands up and down my sides; and over my stomach. He whispers in my ear.

"Come to bed with me."

"I can't, I still have to clean off the table and do the dishes."

"Then let me help you." Jax took his arm and cleared off the table. Breaking some of the dishes when they fell to the floor, I am surprised that he didn't wake Abel up.

He picked me up and sat me on the table. He had love his eyes "Bella, I need and want my old lady right now." He stepped in between my legs and wrapped them around his waist.

Jax put his forehead to mine and whispered "Please."

The feelings that I have for him rushed over me; I needed and wanted him just as bad. We made love on the table then again after we went to bed.

Jax was asleep but, I couldn't; I went to the back yard and toked. I know it's a bad habit to have, but I didn't care. I am so fucked up right now. I don't think this week could get any worse.

When I heard Emmett say my name. I turned around in my chair and there he stood in the moon light. He looked so sad.

"Emmett what's wrong?"

"You wouldn't answer my calls. I know that I agreed to give you your space but I came here because I needed to tell you something. Edward is coming to Charming."

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**I hope you enjoyed reading me.**


	10. Chapter 10

**EMMETTS POV**

I did what I came here to do; I told Bella that Edward was coming. I also told her about Rosalie and her new boy toy would be here also.

But I didn't want to tell Bella the rest of the story. I know I should have but, I still have time to figure out how to break it to her. We agreed on total disclosure between us. I am not sure what her breaking point is either.

Having her in my arms was making my better judgment go down the shitter. Jasper and Alice will be pissed off I couldn't do it but, I will tell her. I think her knowing that Edward is coming is enough for now.

Bella told me she would take a shower and meet me at the spot that we always go to. She didn't want Jackson to wake up and find me there. She needs to talk just as much as I do.

When Bella got out of the car, she looked like she did the first time I seen her when we came to town. I'm worried that she will want to go back to Edward.

"I didn't want Edward to know that we found you again. But Edward called Carlisle and he told him. It was too late by the time they told me. Besides it's not like I want to see Rosalie either."

The truth is that Edward is coming here to get Bella back. He thinks that all he has to do is show up and she will be running back in his arms again.

Edward still sees her as that naive little girl he left in Forks. But I bet he is going to be fucking surprised to see what a strong and beautiful woman she is now. Even more surprised when he finds out that I am in love with her.

It's not like I already don't have enough competition with Jackson. But at least I know that Jackson really does love her. Edward never treated her right and she was only his little toy he played with until he was done with her. He doesn't know what loving a woman really means. I didn't know how cruel he was to Bella when he broke it off with her until she told me.

Rosalie called Esme to tell her that she was getting married again. Esme told her that she and Carlisle were here with us and that we found Bella again. Needless to say Rosalie had a bitch fit about us even speaking Bella's name out loud.

Then Rosalie wanted to talk to me and she called me her brother. I couldn't believe the bitch called me her brother. She wants to pretend like we were never married. I have already let Rosalie go and I am falling more and more for Bella everyday but, Rosalie still hurt me. You would think after being with someone that many years you could at least be descent to them.

Then she ragged on and on about how could I be around Bella again and ruin every bodies life. I listened to it until I had enough of Rosalie's bitching and I hung up on her.

"Bella you haven't said anything, are you going to be able to do this? You know that Edward is going to want to see you."

"I don't want to see Edward or Rosalie. Jax has his vote to stop running guns in two days. I will tell him what I have to and after that; I am thinking about leaving this fucking town."

Shit, I can't let her leave, not by herself. I'm going to have to go with her or tell her the rest of the story. Maybe I can get Jasper to help me explain it to her. All though I was getting a sigh of relief, she doesn't want to see Edward.

"Bella, if you're leaving then I am too. Let's just go, tell Jackson and we will be gone." I know that the rest of the Cullens will not agree with this and they will see this differently but, I don't care what they think about it.

She was sweating from the humidity and she has had a bad week. Everything has been so serious with us; so I decided to cool her off and play a round a bit. I pushed her in the pond. She came up out of the water.

"Emmett, what the hell did you do that for?" I was laughing at her and jumped in too.

We were splashing in around in the water and Bella was smiling. The smile I love so much. Everything was fine until she thought she was going to dunk me under the water. When I grabbed her, she and I were face to face. I was having trouble with my control, I wanted her.

Bella wrapped her arms around my neck "I want you to know that I do have feelings for you but, I am still trying to work them out." She was making my dead heart smile right now.

"What about Jackson?"

"I think that I am in love with him too. Jax is the one that helped me work shit out in my own head to get over Edward. I made Jax a promise that I would walk by his side as long as he needed me. But if I tell him the truth I don't know what will happen to him. I am so torn right now."

I swam over with her to the dock to get out. Standing on the dock I took her in my arms.

"Does that mean that you love me too?"

"It is wrong for me to love you Emmett, your my ex-boyfriends brother. I can't come between you and your family. You're finally back with them. I don't want to be the reason that it's torn apart again."

"If the only reason that you don't want to be with me is Edward, then that's not a good enough reason. I don't care what my family thinks about us being together. I know that you have feelings for Jackson. I also know that you love Abel too. But Jackson could never love you as much as I do. When I saw you at the restaurant; time stood still at that moment. You are all I have thought about since that day. You're on my mind every second. But Jackson can give you the one thing I can't, a child." I had to say that to her. I know that she will someday want a baby of her own and I can't give her one. This is the one thing that I failed Rose on and I wanted it out in the open.

"Emmett, I don't understand all of my emotions that I have for you right now. You have become my best friend and I think about you a lot too. I feel so guilty about kissing you and then being with Jax. I was with Jax tonight and…"

"And what Bella?"

"When I was with Jax tonight it started out my being with him. But then I was thinking about you and I was having sex with you in my head. Ever since I kissed you I have been avoiding Jax and sex. I know that it is wrong and I don't want to hurt Jax. I don't even know why I had you in my head. I'm not innocent about sex anymore Emmett. So now that you know I was with Jax tonight; I'm sure that your opinion probably isn't the same of me."

"I'm not innocent either about sex either and I already knew that you were with Jackson. But that doesn't make me want you any less, if anything I want you more right now. I don't care if it is wrong, I love you and I want you."

We laid on the dock kissing and I was wanting more. After telling me that she has love for me and wants me; I didn't want to stop. Right or wrong, at this moment I didn't give a shit.

Feel the heat radiate from her body as I touched her; I took off her wet shorts and tank top. I only let her take off my shirt; hoping that leaving my pants on would be enough for me to stop from getting too carried away.

We were both getting so aroused. My cock felt like it was coming out through my pants right now from being so hard. But when she started rubbing my cock with her hand through my pants it had to stop, at least for now.

"If you don't stop doing that, I am going to take you." I am trying to keep control and she was pushing my limits.

Bella was rubbing me harder. Does she want me to take her? I wanted to make her feel good by fingering her pussy. But that was only making it worse for me.

When I felt her clamping down on fingers and her sweet juices were flowing; I was almost gone. She was unbuttoning my pants.

"That's not a good idea."

"Don't you want me too? I was going to help you get off." Well fuck yes I wanted too but its more complicated than that.

"I want you. There is nothing more that I want to do than make love to you but I want it to special; not here."

That was and wasn't a lie. I knew that my actions tonight could alter the future. But I still want to make our first time be special.

"Okay, I can wait and I do love you Emmett." I let a long sigh out if she only knew what I was doing for her right now and how much I loved her too.

After we talked everything through, we decided that we had to stay to face our past or we would never heal from it. Bella really didn't want to run away from life anymore. I didn't really want to either.

So we will face them together. After that Bella is going to tell Jackson that she has a family emergency. We are going back to Forks, Washington. We can stay at the Cullen's house, together. She wants to stay gone for a week or so thinking that will be enough time, but I know that it won't be.

Jasper was waiting on the porch for me when I got back. "Emmett you said you would tell Bella. Not run the fuck away with her. How long do you think you're going to be running until they find her? They will find her and that brother you can't stop that from happening." Alice must have saw I didn't tell her all the truth.

Then Jasper started pacing on the porch "Please explain to me what in the hell were you doing trying to fuck Bella at her and Jackson's spot? You said you were not going to interfere with her and him. That you were going to let her come to you. You already know what the future holds for Jackson if you do." I knew what Jackson future held without Bella, but I really didn't care at the time. They should just be proud of me that I stopped when I did because I didn't want to.

"I'm in love with Bella and I will run until I have to fight. She told me tonight that she has feelings for me too. I just have to see where all this goes. I'm not leaving her alone. You and I both know what will happen then."

"Look Emmett you're my brother and I love Bella too. You know how Alice feels about her. If you leave then we will go too. You can't fight them alone. I will call Peter and Charlotte to see if they can come. They are both good fighters. You're not alone in this. But you tell Bella the truth or I will."

Jasper went inside and I need time alone to think. Bella isn't the only one that is torn right now.

**BELLAS POV**

I must have over slept because when I woke up I heard several voices coming from the kitchen. When I walked in; Jax, Happy, Juice, Bobby and Opie were sitting around the table eating fruity pebbles. Bad boys that love their pebbles; that gave me a little giggle.

Jax came over and hugged and kissed me "Morin beautiful, were holding a little meeting here." I kissed him on the cheek and grabbed a cup of coffee. I went back to the bedroom; waiting for them to be done.

After the guys left Jax told me that he thinks that there is a good chance the vote will be to stop running guns. With his and Pineys vote that would be a majority rules. But he was unsure about a couple of them, they could go either way. They can't have those conversations at the clubhouse so, they would be back tonight. He has been working so hard to make this happen.

I knew I wouldn't be seeing him for a while or maybe ever again in couple of days. So I was going to make it count.

"I'll make sure that I have dinner or something made after you guys go to church and come back here. Would it be okay if I asked Gemma to keep Abel and we run away after the guys leave tonight?"

"I would love that Bella, I know that this shit has all been so much. I thought maybe you had enough and was packing it up. I don't know what I would do without you baby."

Guilt, so much guilt was rushing over me. Maybe after things calm down, I will see him again. But after I tell him the truth and break his heart, who knows.

I want to stay and be by Jax's side. But I want to be with Emmett too. I sure as the hell don't want to be anywhere near Edward or Rosalie. I know that I can't have it all and that I am going to have to choose.

**CLUBHOUSE POV**

Jax had worked hard to convince his brothers of the new revenue plan. Later today he will present his plan to them and they will vote tomorrow.

Bella was outside with Cherry while Half Sac was trying to make a sale on a bike. Bella noticed the blond man, he was beautiful and his eyes were a weird shade of brown.

Bella's heart was beating fast and she dropped her coffee cup. She whispered "Vampire." The man's head immediately turned to Bella.

The man took out his cell phone and came walking over to where Bella and Cherry was.

"Excuse me Miss, I believe that you know my brother, Jasper Whitlock." Bella was still in shock and didn't move or say a word.

The man was trying to hand Bella his cell phone and finally whispered to her "You know what I am. If I was going to hurt you, would I do it with a cell phone?"

Bella slowly reached for the phone. It was Jasper telling her that he wouldn't hurt her. That it was his brother, Peter Whitlock. He only came there to buy a bike so he could ride with them.

Bella helped him pick out a bike. Peter told her that he wanted his to be cooler than Jasper's. His was chromed out and had a reaper painted on the gas tank, like Jax's did. Peter told her he was a reaper in his own rights too.

Emmett showed up after Peter had called Jasper. Peter was watching Bella's butt swing as she was walking back to the office to get the paper work for his bike. Emmett punched Peter in the arm.

"Dude, seriously I'm standing here. Do you have to make it that obvious?"

"Emmett are you tapping that?"

"Look Peter, I want to but I can't right now. She is different so let's not go there with her okay?"

"Since when don't you want to talk about tapping it, banging it or just throw down fucken of any woman?"

Then Peter smiled "Well I'll be dammed you're in love with that human, that's so sweet Emmett."

Emmett has always given Peter nothing but shit over the years for one thing or another. They have always had fun together, so Peter got a smirk on his face. He decided to tease Emmett for a change.

"Well you know Emmett, if you can't do Bella; then I am your man. I'll do her for you." Peter saw how tense and serious Emmett turned. Emmett was looking around Peter at Jackson walking through the parking lot.

Peter turned around and was watching Jackson talking to Bella. Peter just rolled into town and hadn't got the full details of what was going on yet. When Jasper said he needed him, he dropped everything and came. Charlotte was with another coven and would meet him in Forks.

Emmett turned away from them so he didn't have to see anymore. Peter could see that his feelings were true for Bella. So Peter figured he could help him out.

"I don't like that little cocky son of bitch Jackson either. Do you want me to kick his ass?"

"Does it look like I need help kicking his ass? I just have to step back and let shit happen right now so I don't alter the future. Bella doesn't know the real reason you're here so don't tell her. I'm going to tell her after she sees Edward."

Jackson watched from the garage bay doors as Peter and Emmett was telling Bella good bye. Cherry, Lila and Gemma came out to see and talk to the smokin blond hunk. Jackson couldn't believe there was another one of them fucken Cullens.

When Gemma asked Peter what he does; Peter told her that he could be of any service that she needed. Needless to say he was hired too. Emmett told him that they all needed to stay close to Bella until they were ready to leave. This way they have an excuse to be there.

Bella went to tell Jackson good bye and she was going home to get things ready for the guys to come over later. He tried to kiss her but she only kissed his cheek. He knew in his heart that something was going on with her, but he didn't know what. It seemed like there was distance between them lately.

All the brothers gathered in the clubhouse to hear Jax's plan of new revenue. They would be given a day to decide to vote yes or no on it.

They were sitting around the table when Gemma stuck her head in "I'm sorry to interrupt but, there is a guy here with a special delivery for you Jax. He said he can't leave it with me."

Jax walked out to bar and signed for the envelope. He went back to sit at the table and opened it. He couldn't believe what was inside of the envelope.

Clay saw the look on Jax's face "Son are you okay?"

"I've gotta go. I'm sorry we'll have to do this later."

Clay had a huge smile on his face because he already knew what was in the envelope. He picked up his gavel "Well since there isn't any new business, meeting adjourned." Then he banged his gavel.

They all went out to the bar to drink. Clay saw Jax's response as his victory. That should slow him down for a while.

**BELLA POV**

I have had Emmett on my mind all day. I feel horrible about what I did with him last night. I don't want to hurt Jax but it feels so right with Emmett. Maybe I really don't know what love is. I can't be in love with both of them.

I heard Jax's bike coming up the drive way. He was earlier than he said he would be. So I was getting the food out of the frig and putting it on the counter when he came in to the kitchen.

"Bella why have you been lying to me?" He had a look on his face that I had not seen before. It was a cross between hurt and pissed.

"Jax I don't know what you're talking about?"

He threw an envelope down on the kitchen table. He was yelling now "Stop fucken lying to me Bella."

I opened the envelope and inside was an 8x10 photo of me, Emmett and Abel. We were standing in front of Jax's house on the front steps. I was kissing Emmett with Abel in my arms. I only had Jax's SAMCRO t-shirt on.

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**I hope you enjoyed reading me. So excited to see the comments and kudos. I will post a lot of chapters a day as long as I know someone wants to read it. THANK YOU!!!  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**JACKSON POV**

When I opened the envelope and saw Bella with Emmett, it shattered my heart into pieces. I thought she really loved and cared for me. I fucken let her in my heart and she pissed on it. I trusted her like I've never trusted before.

She not only pissed on me but Abel too. I thought she loved him like her own. I really felt like he was going to have a real mommy. Someone that was good in his life and would be there for him no matter what.

I'm not sure what upset me the most. Bella fucken around with Emmett or that she had my son around him. How the fuck could she do that?

I knew something wasn't right with those mother fuckers, the Cullens. Bella has been so distant with me and she didn't want me to touch her. Not only have I been blind but fucken stupid too.

I left the clubhouse; I didn't give a fuck right now about the vote. I had to confront her, I needed to know why. Why she did this to me?

When I walked into the house, Bella was getting the food ready in the kitchen. When I asked why she had been lying, she played stupid. Like she had no idea what I was talking about. That fucken pissed me off. I was trying so hard not to lose my temper with her. She just stood there looking at the picture. I finally had enough of that shit.

"So are you going to tell me why? Is it cause of his fucken money?" I was waiting for an answer and she wasn't giving one.

"Jaxs I…we…it's …..not what you think. I wasn't doing anything with Emmett, then."

Was she really stupid enough to just say to me then, so she is now? I was furious; I knocked every dish off of the counter and broke them. Then I kicked the kitchen chairs across the floor.

She started crying. I had to get away from her before I hurt her. I've never let anyone in; or let them get close to me. This would be the reason why.

"Fuck you Bella. I want you out of my fucken house. You want that little prick so bad, then you can fucken have him."

I walked out the door and slammed it, never looked back. Got on my bike and rode.

**BELLA POV**

I knew that I was going to hurt one of them or worse, both of them. But I couldn't understand how or where Jax got that picture from. I should have been honest with him about my feelings for Emmett. I was honest with Emmett about Jax. Honesty did not change my relationship with Emmett, if anything, it has made us stronger.

Jax left in a rage and there will be no talking to him right now. But there are still things that I have to tell him before I leave. I'm such a horrible person for what I have done to him. Am I really any better than Edward? In my eyes I am worse than Edward.

I went into the bedroom to pack a bag. Jax told me to be gone and I would respect his wishes. I'm sure that the Cullens will let me stay there with them. But Edward will be here soon and I can't stay there once he comes. Maybe I should have just run the fuck away. But that's what I am thinking that I will do now.

As I was getting ready to pull out of the drive way, I saw Peter leaning up against a tree smoking. He is such a strange vampire. He blurred to the front of the car.

"Hey sweetheart are you planning on going somewhere?"

"I am not in mood for this. Please get out of my way." In a split second he was in the seat beside me.

"Bella, you can't just run away. You will break Emmett's heart."

"I don't really fucking care. I will only hurt him more if I stay; just like anyone that becomes a part of my life. Emmett deserves someone better than me anyways. He can have anyone that he wants and I don't even know why in the hell that he wants to be with me. Did Alice see this and tell you to come here?"

Peter reached over turned off the ignition and took the keys out of it. "No Bella, Alice did not tell me. I just knew that I needed to come here, that is my gift or curse, depending on how you look at it. Jackson is just upset right now but he will forgive you. I don't believe for a second that you don't care if you hurt Emmett. I'm trying to save you, but you have to want to be saved first." He talks a lot like Alice and Edward in circles that I don't understand.

"So what the hell am I being saved from now?"

"Yourself, you will never get over leaving like this."

To be perfectly honest I wished someone had done that a long time ago, saved me from myself. I told him repeatedly to get out of the car and give me the keys. But he shook his head no each time.

"Peter, please just give me the keys and you don't have to tell anybody you knew that I was leaving."

He opened the top of his jeans and dropped the keys down his pants.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I have a twenty that says you won't go after them. Why don't we just talk this through and then you can decide if you really want to run away or not?" I sighed, he was right; I wasn't going after those keys.

After I talked to Peter I came to many conclusions. Peter is a strange vampire compared to the Cullens. That I have to face Jax, Emmett and Edward; no matter what the outcome is going to be. Love has many angels, desires, emotions and endings.

Peter and I drove to the Cullen's house together. I was thankful that Emmett and Jasper had gone hunting for the night. I think that Peter knew that I needed some alone girl time with Alice.

Peter was going to go a few towns over to do some human hunting as he called it. When he was getting ready to go out the door, I hugged him and told him thank you for being there for me. He had listened to me ramble tonight. But what came out of his mouth was unbelievable.

"You're welcome sweetheart. But if you two decide to have a naked pillow fight. Or decide to experiment with a little girl on girl action; call me. I will have my phone on." I asked Alice after he left if he was always like this and she said unfortunately, yes.

I have started to get close to Alice again but I wasn't sure about telling her how I really felt about Emmett. But she was understanding and great about it though. She told me that no matter who I decided to be with, that she would still be my sister.

Alice went upstairs and came back with a book; it had a poem in it.

* * *

**ICE AND FIRE**

**_My love is like fire, but ice to her._ **

**_How come the colder she is the more_ **

**_my flames burn with desire for her?_ **

**_._ **

**_I don't understand my exceeding heat_ **

**_for her when her heart is frozen cold._ **

**_Fire should melt all things, but only seems_ **

**_to harden her ice for me._ **

**_._ **

**_The forbidden love we have and my_ **

**_fire that burns for her will never be_ **

**_extinguished by the ice of her denial of my_ **

**_desires._ **

* * *

The more I thought about this poem; I realized Jax was my fire and Emmett was my ice. Jax heats my passion and lights my body on fire like a burning inferno. Emmett cools all my desires; quenches my body yearnings. I am more fucked up then even I thought I was.

When I woke up Alice had clothes lying on the bed with towels. I went in and showered. She bought me these cool black leather boots with four inch spike heels. They really looked great with the dark jeans and black sweater she had also bought. I needed to go face Jax and try to make him understand.

**CLUBHOUSE POV**

Jackson had been drinking and token most of the night. Trying to figure out where and when the hell things had gone wrong. Everyone wanted to know what was going on with him, but he wouldn't tell anyone. He just kept to himself and kept drinking.

Since drinking was not helping him to get Bella off of his mind he decided that he would try going back to his old ways. Caring about no woman, they were just pussy to him. He grabbed the first girl he saw, because it really didn't matter who she was. This was a fuck for a fuck. Bella had wronged him and now he would even the score.

The next morning when Bella came into the clubhouse looking for Jax; everyone was quiet. Not sure what had been going on between Jackson and her. But they did not want Bella to find out that way; seeing what Jackson had been doing with the other girl.

Lila and Cherry kept telling her that they hadn't seen him. When Bella went to walk down the hallway to his room, Lila asked Opie to stop her. Opie stood in the middle of hall with his a hand on each side of the wall.

"I don't think that Jax is here so why don't I take you and Lila to get some breakfast."

"I know Jax is here, his bike is. So whatever it is that you don't want me to see is going to happen. I am going into his room one way or another."

Opie finally lowered his arms to let Bella pass by.

"Bella he had a hard night. Please don't do this." Bella smiled at him and kept walking down the hallway.

Bella stopped at Jax's room and took in a deep breath. She opened the door and saw a naked girl sprawled out across the bed with Jax. Bella's heart was breaking but, she knew that this was deserved for what she had done with Emmett. She closed the door and never said a word.

Bella went and told Lila and Cherry good bye. She told them that she would come back later to talk to Jax. Bella told them that she was leaving town in a few days and would miss them. Both of them tried to reason with Bella to get her to stay. But they had no idea of the real reasons Bella had to leave.

Bella came back later and all the Sons were dressed in black without their cuts on. Bella knew that this was something bad because they were going under the radar. When Jax walked in with a duffel bag, Bella asked him what was going on.

Jax just kept walking towards the garage "What the fuck do you care?"

Bella was holding Abel when Jax came back into the bar. Bella wanted to say good bye to him. That just pissed Jax off even more that she was pretending like she cared about his son. He went over and took Abel out of Bella's arm.

"Don't come near my son." Bella couldn't understand why Jax would be this way with her. She does truly love Abel.

As the Sons were getting ready to walk out the door Bella asked Jax what the fuck his problem was. He ignored her and kept walking. Bella followed behind Jax out the door.

"You know what the little prince isn't going to get his way this time, you haven't answered my question. What the fuck is your problem?"

Cherry and Lila both looked at each other. They had been watching everything that was taking place. Cherry whispered to Lila.

"This is better than the Desperate Housewives episode that I watched this week. Do you want to go watch?" Lila nodded her head yes and they took their drinks outside with them.

Jax threw his duffel bag on the ground. "Fine Bella, you wanna get this shit out. Then let's do it. You're my fucken problem. You made me believe the fairy tale and then you shit on me with Emmett." Bella couldn't believe after what Jax had done last night that he would be this way.

"You self-righteous asshole. I came here this morning to talk to you. I know that you fucked some girl and you're pissed that I kissed just Emmett."

Jax dropped his head; he didn't know that Bella knew that. But it didn't matter. He knew in his heart that Bella had done more than just kiss Emmett.

"Sure Bella keep telling me that is all you did; just kissed him. You're right though, I did fuck some girl. I don't even know what her goddamn name was and could care less. Because do you know whose face I saw? I saw yours. I couldn't even fuck you out of my mind. But at least I wasn't fucken around with her when I was with you. There are you happy now?"

The rest of the Sons just stood there watching but not saying a word. Except for Clay, he was thrilled to see the old Jax was coming back around.

Bella walked over and slapped Jax's face. "Fuck you, I don't have to explain anything to you."

"Just be woman enough to tell me Bella. Tell me that you've been fucken him the whole time behind my back."

Bella slapped Jax's face again. Jax let go of her and stepped back. "That's the second fucken time that you've slapped me; I wouldn't try for a third." Jax didn't want to hurt her but, she was pushing his limits.

Bella went to go to the car and Jax was right behind her. But those new boots weren't made for walking. Bella tripped and Jax fell into her from behind. They were rolling around in the mud puddle, fighting with each other. Opie and Juice went over and broke it up.

Tig whispered to Bobby. "That was fucken hot. Do you think that Jax would mind if I asked out Bella now?"

Bobby didn't answer him. But he was thinking what a dumb ass.

Both Jax and Bella were wet and muddy. Bella went to get into the car and Jaxs pushed her up against the car. "I still love you."

Then he gave her one of those long heated passion Jackson kisses.

**BELLA POV**

When I pulled up to the Cullen's house, they were all outside on the porch. I could tell by the grins and little smirks on their faces that they knew I had been rolling around in the mud with Jax. Peter just couldn't resist.

"Hey Bella, add mud wrestling to the list of things that you need to call me and let me know when you're going to do them."

Emmett came over to me and asked if I was alright. I told him yes but, I needed a shower. He told me to go take a shower because he had a surprise for me. That did bring a smile to my face. Emmett is such a sweet man.

I just threw on a pair of shorts and tank top. When I went outside, Emmett was putting suit cases in the Jeep. Maybe he did decide to run way. He told me to get in because we were going to go have some fun for a while.

We had been driving listening to the Rolling Stones, one of his favorites. When I asked where we were going; all he would tell me was that at least for one day he and I were going to escape the world.

I didn't even know how far we had drove but we pulled up in front of a very fancy hotel. I was dressed in shorts, great. A man came over and opened my door.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cullen I would presume." Emmett smiled but corrected him about our names. I was feeling way under dressed for this place.

"Bella, relax, Alice packed you more clothes than you could wear in a month. If you don't like them then we will go buy you more." I forgot what being around the Cullens was really like. No expense was ever spared.

After we checked in a bell hop was taking us up a private elevator. When I asked where we were going, they told me the Penthouse Suite. To say it was breath taking would not have done it justice. The balcony had a view over the whole city and it was bigger than my bedroom in Forks.

It had everything you could think of; a swimming pool and a hot tub. The kitchen and bar was fully stocked. I think Emmett's favorite room was the media room. The TV was like a screen you would see at the movies; along with plush leather lounge chairs. He even made sure there were two bedrooms. He said that he didn't want me to feel pressured and whatever happened; happened. That he was happy to just to get to spend time with me.

The bell hop was putting our luggage in our rooms. But there were two garment bags that Emmett kept. He told me this was for tomorrow night, that he had something special planned. I couldn't understand why he was doing all of this.

"This is too much, you don't need to do all of this. You make me feel special without spend any money on me."

"That is one of the many things I love most about you Bella. You're happy to just be with me. When I'm with you there is no having to hold back or pretend that I am something that I'm not to please you. You accept me for what and who I am. I did this for us, because I wanted to."

Then he gave me a short sweet little kiss on the lips.

**(***)**

I could have spent hours going through everything that Alice had packed for me. Since we were just going to take a walk around town I went for simple. A short white skirt and royal blue silk off the shoulders blouse. Alice even pinned notes of what to wear together. She had a pair of wedged white sandals to go with it.

I put some curls in my hair and used my fingers to separate them. I even put some make up on and I was feeling a little nervous. Emmett said we were just going walking around for a while and grab something to eat; but was this a date? I haven't been on a real date since Edward.

When we started walking down the side walk, Emmett extended his arm to me. I took it and we walked around talking. We were just enjoying our time together and were laughing like we didn't have a care in the world. That was the one thing Emmett always use to do when I was with Edward, made me laugh.

We came up to a wishing pond. Emmett pulled out some change out his pocket, he told me to make a wish. He went first and had a huge smile on his face. Then I went. He wanted to know what I wished for. But I wouldn't tell him. I wished that I could continue to feel just like I do right now; happy and in peace with myself.

The rest of the night was wonderful. We went and had a big steak. But of course he didn't eat his. I learned things about him tonight I never knew before. We sat for a long time talking and drinking. He seemed so different than the Emmett that was just in Charming. But I guess I was being different too.

We went to a park that was getting ready to have a fireworks display over the lake. Emmett sat down on the ground and told me I could set on his lap so that I wouldn't get grass stains on my white skirt. When I sat down and looked into his eyes they were black.

"Emmett, do you need to go hunt? I'll get off of your lap; it is probably hard for you being close to me right now."

"I don't need to hunt. It is hard being close to you but, not for the reasons you think." When he shifted me on his lap; I felt the reason.

My face must have turned twenty shades of red. He whispered in my ear. "Sorry, I can't help it when I am with you." I don't even know why I was embarrassed, I never was with Jax. Everything with him just fell into place.

The fireworks were great. Then Emmett told me to make sure I was watching. A big red heart burst with E B inside of it.

"That is the most romantic thing that anyone has ever done for me." We exchanged several tender kisses. I still couldn't believe that he was doing all of this just for me.

It was getting late and I was getting tired. We said our good nights and went to our rooms. I was lying in bed thinking I really missed Emmett. I got up and knocked on his adjoining bedroom door.

When he opened it; all he had on was a tight pair of red silk boxers. It matched the red silk night shirt that I was wearing. When I asked if our matching outfits had been coordinated? He told me no. That it was just the first thing that he grabbed.

We stood there in door way just looking at each other. He looked so sexy and hot.

"Bella is everything okay, did you need something?" Shit I was the one that knocked on his door.

"Yeah everything is fine, I just couldn't sleep and was wondering if you wanted to talk or maybe watch TV with me?" I really just wanted to be close to him but, I didn't want to admit it.

"Sure, come on in. But, you will have to promise that you will not take advantage of me? Also young lady can you keep your hands to yourself?" He was laughing and went to lie down on his bed. But actually I couldn't make that promise. I wanted to take advantage of him or rather let him take advantage of me.

We lay together and watched a movie. He never tried anything with me. That was kind of a disappointment and a relief at the same time.

**(****)**

It was almost time for me to get ready for our special date. I felt like a little giddy high school girl, going out for the first time. Emmett had hired a lady to be at my beckon call. After I enjoyed a bath in a tub that I swear was big enough for three; she brought in the garment bag.

It had a black lace dress in it. It was short without any straps. Alice must have picked it out. There were undergarments that matched the lace; a bodice with matching panties. Alice sent sexy thigh high stockings and black stilettos shoes. Damn her choice in shoe collection is going to kill me yet.

The ladies name was Shaina and she was so sweet to me. She brought me a bowl of strawberries and a glass of campaign. She told me that Mr. Cullen wanted to make sure that I had everything I needed and wanted to make it a special night for me. I think Mr. Cullen had already done that.

She put my hair up and pinned it with clips that had diamonds in it. She left long pieces hanging down around my face and the back of my neck. My makeup looked like it was done by a professional. I really did enjoy doing this for some strange reason. But I will never tell Alice that.

When I was ready to leave the bathroom; she told me that Emmett was waiting out on the balcony for me. She told me to have a great night and gathered her things to leave.

He was staring at the city with his back to me when I walked out on the balcony. When he turned around and I saw him in his tuxedo; something came over me. It was a feeling that I have never had before. My body was tingling and I felt dizzy with love.

Getting off the elevator, I made him promise me that he wouldn't let me fall on my face in these shoes. He laughed but he promised. Walking outside, there was a lavish horse drawn carriage parked outside.

"Your carriage awaits you my lady." I looked at him in awe, he did this for me.

Emmett took my hand and held on to me while I stepped up in the Carriage. We went around the city. I have never been on a ride like this before.

We went to a fancy French restaurant. I was glad that Emmett spoke French because I had no clue. It was the best meal that I think that I have ever had. The carriage was still waiting for us outside. He told me that we had one more stop to make.

It was the same park that we had gone to last night. There was a path that was lit up with lights. As we walked down the path there was a gazebo with little white lights everywhere.

Music was coming from somewhere, but I had no idea where. He slow danced with me.

"You have made me feel like a Princess tonight."

"You are my Princess Bella."

Going back into the suite, I was nervous. I wanted to be with Emmett tonight but, I didn't want to have to throw myself at him. He must have felt it to. He asked if I was tired or wanted to stay up for a while. I already knew what I wanted to do.

I went over to the bar and poured two of his favorite drink; scotch over ice. We drank a couple of those. When I got the last refill; I sat down on his lap on the couch. I could feel him getting hard while we were kissing.

"Emmett I am ready for bed; do you want to go with me?"

He picked me up and was carrying me to his bedroom. There were rose petals all over the bed and the floor. He wants this too.

Emmett sat me down on the floor. He was kissing the back of my neck and across my shoulders. I was feeling quivers throughout my body. Slowly he was unzipping my dress. Putting kisses down my back as he went. Every part of my body wanted him.

He was kissing me so tenderly. Slowly taking his tongue; running it in and out of my mouth. He was cooling my fire and I needed him to put it out now.

After he took off his Jacket and shirt; he laid me down on the bed. Feeling his cold lips and tongue on my breasts; was giving me goose bumps of sensation. But when I felt his fingers enter my pussy; I was already wanting to cum. My body and his hand were moving in sync against one another. I reached for him and I was caressing him through his pants. He was moving against my hand too. He needs this as bad as I do.

Emmett caressed my body while he undressed me. Taking my stockings off; kiss the inside of my thighs and calves. When his tongue reached my hot core it was more than I could take.

"Emmett please make love to me."

He is a physically large man and so was his cock. When he pushed into me I was gasping for air, he wasn't even all the way in yet. He lifted up trying not to put his weight on me and he was trying not to move inside me. But when he did, his movements were slow and easy.

"Bella are you ready to feel more of me? I don't want to hurt you." I wanted all of him. I needed to have all of him.

"Stop holding back; you said that you never have to hold back with me."

He lowered himself down on to me and pushed all the way into me. His cock felt like it was splitting me into. When started really trusting into me I was cumming so hard around his cock.

He was moaning too. "Fuck your pussy is so hot and tight."

I was screaming so many things; oh my god, Emmett and don't stop fucking me. When he started thrusting even harder; I felt his cum cooling down the heat that was radiating from inside of me.

"I love you Bella." I knew what the term fire meets ice really meant now.

I was wakening up to kisses being laid on my neck "Good morning beautiful. I thought that maybe we could make love again if you feel up to it." I was feeling more than up to it.

We were on our way back to Charming. I wasn't look forward to facing Edward and Rosalie but, I knew we had to.

**JASPERS POV**

Peter and I had discussed some strategies. When Alice came outside and told us that Emmett and Bella would be here in about fifteen minutes. Edward would be here in about thirty.

We were ready to intervene between the two. I wasn't sure how Edward was going to handle seeing Emmett and Bella together. But then there was Rosalie, the drama queen herself. We all knew that was going to be some bad shit coming. Thankfully she won't be arriving until tonight. We will handle one problem at a time.

When Emmett and Bella pulled up they seemed happy. I whispered to Emmett that Edward was almost here. He needed to know that and be ready for it.

It was sweet to watch them together. They were holding hands and playing around. I hadn't seen Emmett this happy in a long time.

Bella went inside to see Alice and Emmett was telling us about their getaway. Edward was pulling up and Emmett went all serious.

When Bella came outside and saw Edward; her emotions were all over the place. She was feeling hate, sorrow, self-loathing and bitterness.

Edward came up the steps and stopped in front of her "Bella, I have missed you so much. You look so beautiful." He went to take a hold of her hand.

"Don't touch me. I have thought a lot of exactly what I would say to you if I ever saw you again. You left me feeling like I was a piece of shit that you could just scrape off the bottom of your shoes and would completely forget about. I know that you never really loved me but, you know what, I never really loved you either. I just thought I knew what love was. Love is unconditional and you don't know what that really means. I have almost died because you left me unprotected like I was nothing. You are not good for me or good for me either. You wanted it to be like you never existed; so that is the way it is today. You don't exist in my world anymore, so stay the fuck away me."

Bella went to go back in the house. Edward was fucked up now. I don't think he fully knew what was going on. I don't think he was sure of what emotion he wanted to have because he was all over the place.

"Bella part of the reason that I came back here is to protect you. Victoria was in Forks and she is looking for you. Didn't they tell you?"

Shit I knew Emmett should have told her.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed reading me.**

 


	12. Chapter 12

**CLUBHOUSE POV**

The Sons were sitting around discussing Jackson and his actions over the Mayna retaliation. Most of them think that he is a danger not only to himself but to them as well. He's a loose canon right now that's ready to explode and not give a shit who it effects. Tig was pushing Clay the hardest.

"Man you are gonna have to do something with Jax. I respect what he has done for the club and all. But he is a danger to whoever he fucken rides with man. You saw how he went cowboy out there. He didn't think about how many brothers could have got killed when he rushed them like that. We backed him up Clay; I won't do that shit again."

"Jax is my problem to handle. You will back whatever the fuck up I say. Is that clear?" Tig knew he had to do exactly what he was told but he didn't like it.

Opie was trying to tell Clay Jax needed to get Bella out of his head before he gets himself killed. Since they got back from the retaliation Jax has been locked in his room. Clay told Opie that Jax is fine; he just needed time to heal that's all. Opie decided that was bullshit and went to handle shit his own way.

Opie knocked on Jax's room door several times. But Jax wouldn't answer him.

"If you don't open the fucken door I am gonna kick it in." Jax knew that Opie would do it so he let him in.

Opie and Jax talked about a lot of little bullshit things before Opie brought up Bella.

"Jax don't you think it's time to makeup with Bella now. You evened the score with her. You know that I love Lila but she can't ever replace Donna in my heart. You only get the chance once in a life time to meet your Donna. I see that in you when I watch you with Bella. Get the fuck up and go work your shit out with her."

Jax wanted to makeup but he didn't know how or if she still even wanted to be with him. He was pissed at her about Emmett and now he just missed her. Jax needed Bella to make him whole again.

"I've called her and texted but she never returned any of them. Op she left me for Emmett; that's who she wants to be with. You don't know how pissed I was when I saw that fucken picture of them together. Bella is the first woman that I've ever been faithful to. You know how this shit works. We do who we want when we want. I let her in and let her get to me."

Opie corrected Jax. Bella had told Lila that Jax asked her to leave. Jax told him he was just pissed off at the time and didn't want to hurt her. He didn't really mean that he wanted her to leave when he said it. But he can't take it back now.

When Opie started questioning Jax about the picture; Jax had no answers. He didn't know who had sent it to him or why.

"Brother don't you find that a little off that someone would send it to you without a name. They were trying to cause problems and didn't want you to know who done it. But you told me that Clay wanted to break up you and Bella. My guess, it was Clay or Emmett."

Jax never stopped to think about who had sent it. Only how miserable he has been since he saw it.

Opie told Jax that he better get his shit together because Clay was making decisions without him. If he wanted there to be anything left to salvage of the club he needed to handle his business. Jax told Opie that he didn't know how to do that this time. Without Bella with him it was not as important to him anymore.

While they were talking gun shots rang out through the clubhouse. Both Opie and Jax got their guns ready and went to see what had happened. When they went outside; there had been another attempt on Clay's life. The Myans were starting war on the Sons own turf. If Tig had not pulled Clay out of the way he would have been shot.

Clay told Juice to start calling in the other charters. It was time to put the Mayans out of business. Jax would not go along with that.

"Call or vote?"

Clay was pissed that Jax had called him on his decision once again. "You vote this is the second attempt on my life by those scum bags. We kill them and now. What if they come back and it's one of our old ladies or kids? I know you don't have to worry about the old lady part but the rest of us do."

Jaxs felt that fire that Bella had ignited inside of him "Fuck you Clay. We vote that is how shit works. Brains before bullets remember? Or has JT been gone so long that you've forgotten?"

Clay shoved Jaxs. How dare Jaxs throw his father words at him? Jaxs shoved him back.

"Don't put your goddamn hands on me. We don't even know why they are doing this. Your fucken up big time." Jax just walked away.

Clay was even more pissed that Jax walked away when he gave the Sons a direct order of what he wanted done.

"Jackson where the fuck do you think you're gonna go? You better be here when its time. Put your fucken cut on."

Jax told Clay to go fuck himself.

Jackson went to his room to shower. It was the first one he had in three or four days. When he came out Cherry and Lila where waiting for him.

"I'm not in the mood for you two. Get the fuck out my room."

They both shook their heads no and crossed their arms.

Lila told Jackson that Bella was leaving town, if she had not already. He pretended not to care but he did. Cherry handed him a piece of paper.

"What's this?"

She told him it was the address to the Cullen's house. Jax wadded it up and threw it down.

Cherry stood up to Jax "You are being pig headed. You love Bella and you know it. Even if Bella did fuck Emmett so what? You fucked some little whore too. Get over yourself Jackson. Be the man and go to her before it is too late. You are just pushing her farther into Emmett's arms. When is the last time that you left this room to even go to see your son? Stop feeling sorry for yourself."

Jax threw them out of his room. It was time to swallow his pride. He thought about his father's words.

* * *

**A true outlaw finds the balance**

**between passion in his heart and**

**the reason in his mind. The outcome**

**is balance of might and right.**

* * *

Jax has always known that his outlaw ways would someday catch up with him. Balancing between love and the club was never a problem until Bella came along. But both in his mind and in his heart he is going to find that balance that he needs to make their love once again right.

As Jax was walking out the door Bobby asked him where he was going.

"I am gonna get my old lady back or at least try."

Bobby thought to himself that it was about damn time Jax left his room to do something.

**BELLAS POV**

Edward was continuing to touch me. I removed his hand from my arm.

"What in the fuck are you talking about? Victoria is looking for me again?" He had a shocked look on his face.

"Bella what do you mean by again? I have been tracking her and the seven other vampires that she has been traveling with. They have not come near you or I would have known. I still love you and want to be with you. I only left so that you would not be hurt by us. I can protect you and we can be together forever."

Now it is not just Victoria. She has others that are looking for me too. I thought of Charlie, he is unprotected. There were so many things running through my mind right now. I just wanted to get away from Edward. But he wouldn't stop touching me.

"Take your fucking hands off of me. You left me unprotected. You have no idea what I have been through because of you. I do not want to hear the bullshit that is coming out of your mouth right now."

Edward grabbed me again. Does he not hear me telling him that I do not want him to touch me? Emmett removed Edwards hand from me.

"Bella said she did not want you touching her."

Edward was concentrating hard right now on Emmett. Shit he was reading Emmet's mind.

"You have been with Bella. I left her to have a better life and be free from us. You are my brother how could you do this to me? You know how much I love her." I could not believe that Edward was saying that he loved me. That naive little girl that he left in Forks might have believed him but not the Bella that I am today. I owe that to Jax.

Edward grabbed Emmett. Emmett threw him off of the porch away from me. They were fighting and I wanted to stop it.

"Emmett I love you and I don't want you to get hurt or fight your family because of me." I went to go down the steps when two arms grabbed me a spun me back up by the door. It was Jasper.

"What in the hell are you thinking? Never get in the middle of two vampires fighting they will hurt or kill you." I didn't care as long as Emmett was okay.

Jasper must have been feeling what I was. "He will be fine Bella. It is Edward that I am worried about."

Peter took off towards the woods to find them.

Jasper told me that Jax was coming. That it was not safe to have him here right now, to get rid of him as soon as possible. He blurred in the same direction that Peter had gone.

Jax pulled up on his bike. "We need to work our shit out and talk. We can do it here or we can go somewhere but it's gonna happen. If you don't want Emmett hearing then let's go somewhere. But I'm not leaving until you say you'll talk to me." I put his helmet on and we rode to what use to be our spot.

**(****)**

We walked down the path but he hadn't said anything since we left the Cullens. I decided that it was time to tell Jax some of the truth or much as I could.

"I'm sorry that you found out about Emmett that way. I was going to his house a lot and taking Abel with me. I should have never taken Abel there without your permission."

"I'm sorry for what I did too. That girl didn't mean anything to me. I've had you on my mind since I walked out the door. So you've been doing Emmett this whole time. I don't get it Bella. Why did you stay with me if you love him?"

That was going to be the complicated question that I had to answer; he deserved the right to know.

"When I started going back around them I built a friendship with Emmett. At first that is all it was but then I started having feelings for him. I didn't sleep with Emmett before you told me to leave but I did after that. I am not innocent in all of this either. We kissed and did other stuff before then." I got out most of the hardest part of what I had to say. I was hoping that he would not ask a bunch of questions.

"My telling you to leave then was the push for you to go to Emmett, I'm a fool Bella. Now that you've been with him; is that where you want to be? Do you love him? Don't you even want to try to work shit out with me?" This was the question that I wanted to avoid but I guess I can't now.

"Yes I am in love with Emmett. He is such a wonderful and caring man. But I love you too. The love I have for both of you is for different reasons. I never wanted to hurt either one of you. I want to still walk by your side when you need me just like I promised I would."

Jax just looked at me but didn't respond to that.

We made small talk but it was time for me to get back. I wanted to be there for Emmett when Rosalie got to the Cullens. Jax dropped me off at the house and was hugging me good bye.

"I love you Bella. But I can't share you, I won't. I want you to come home but, I won't beg."

He kissed me and then he rode away. I have watched Jax ride away so many times. But this time I saw a broken outlaw and it was my fault.

I could tell by the look on Emmett's face that Rosalie was already here. He took me by the hand and we went outside with everyone else to meet them.

She got out of the car with another male vampire. He was attractive but not as handsome as Emmett is. She was all giggles and grins until she saw Emmett with me holding my hand.

"What is that bitch doing here? Emmett is holding her little hand so she doesn't fall down and kill herself?" Emmett was right she was going to be a bitch about it.

Emmett hugged me close to his body and never backed down from her "You normally hold hands with the one you love."

Her eyes and face was of furry "Emmett I forbid you to be around her. She has damaged this family enough. I loathe everything about her and what she has done to us." Right back at ya babe. Emmett kissed me and told me to stay on the porch he would be right back.

"Rosalie I don't give a fuck what you don't like. Bella is with me and you will show her some respect." He wasn't his normal self-right now, almost like a vampire. I could tell that shit was going to get bad again today.

Esme told Rosalie that she was being rude to me and she just rolled her eyes. She asked Joshua to come over; her new boy toy as Emmett calls him.

"Emmett let me introduce you to my fiancée Joshua. He is everything that a real man should be. Babe this is my brother Emmett and over there on the porch is the piece of shit human that I told you about." He looked me up and down and had a look of disgust on his face.

"Ignore the stuck on herself cunt. Rosalie why don't you go emasculate Joshua for a while and leave us alone? I know that you are not happy with your man unless you can do that to them." Well I guess Emmett told her.

Joshua asked Emmett if he had a problem and that if he did he could take it up with him. I couldn't believe they have only been here for five minutes and they already want trouble. Not to mention that this guy was kind of prissy like Edward and Emmett towered over him.

Another fight; only this time it was Emmett and Joshua. Edward seemed truly amused by that. But I don't know why he was considering Emmett had already kicked his ass today. Maybe he was routing for the underdog.

Rosalie turned to me and I knew it was going to be bad. "This is all your fault. You're like a parasite that feeds off this family. Sucking what life we have left out of us. Emmett is trying to fight everybody to save you. It will only be a slow death for him. You're killing him and don't even have the sense to know it. I wanted to kill you the second that Edward wanted to be with you. The only thing that saved you was the family. But they won't this time."

She was coming for me and Alice blocked her. "No Rosalie I will not let you hurt Bella. You are my sister too and I don't want to fight you but I will." I didn't want Alice to defend me. If I didn't stand up for myself with her she would be one more person that I would have to run from. I wanted to be strong enough to walk by Emmett's side too.

"Fuck you bitch. You want me, come and get me." She threw Alice to the ground and Rosalie was one pissed off vampire right now.

Before she ever got to me Emmett grabbed her by her throat "She can't fight you but I can. If you even think about touching her again I will kill. I just kicked Joshies ass and I will yours too if you open your mouth one more fucking time." Emmett was all vampire right now. But he let her go. She was shocked that he talked to her that way and was willing to hurt her over me.

"Oh Rosalie you might want to go gather up Joshie's body parts. After I ripped his small penis off I threw it into the woods." She glared at me and went running off to find Joshua.

Carlisle told Emmett that he needed to help find the pieces so that he could put him back together. Emmett didn't want to leave me alone knowing that Rosalie and Edward were here. I told him I was going to go for a drive and get my head clear. He kissed me good bye and told me that he would call me when they were done. I think I needed a drink or ten.

**(****)**

I have been sitting here drinking and thinking about life. All of the pain and problems that I have caused for everyone by just being a part of their life. Maybe Rosalie was right; maybe I am nothing but a piece of shit. Just a parasite feeding off of others and killing them slowly every day.

The bartender asked if I could call someone to pick me up. He officially had cut me off. There was no one that I wanted to see right now. I thought about having Cherry or Lila do it. But I couldn't continue to be a part of their lives without being around Jax;s life too.

I saw Jax walk in and he was talking to the bartender. I don't know what they were saying but Jax slapped him on the back and walked over to me.

"Hey, Dave called me and told me my old lady was drunk and needed a ride. But I told him that I don't have one of those anymore. I don't know what Emmett's number is or I would've called him to come get ya." I think he was caring about me and burning me a little at the same time.

Jax's face went cold. "Fuck, Mayans." I looked over at the front door and there were three or four of them with their cuts on motioning for him to come outside.

Jax took out his prepay and called Opie "I've got Mayans up my ass at Dave's." Then he hung up the phone.

"Bella I want you to go out the back door when I go out the front. Get your ass in the car and get the fuck out of here." He got up out the booth to leave.

"Jax please wait for the others Sons to get here. There are too many of them. They will hurt you."

"I love you. If I don't get out of here they'll come in and get me. Everyone in here will get hurt. They're on our turf, they want blood. I don't want you to get hurt." Even after what I had done to him he still wants to protect me.

As soon as Jax went out the front door I went out the back. But there was two of them waiting for me. They grabbed me and carried me away from the bar. They threw me on the ground next to where they had Jax. What a way to sober up quick.

I could tell by his President patch on his cut that he was the leader of the Mayans. Jax was on his knees and that guy had a gun pointed at Jax's head. Jax kept telling him that he had no idea what in the hell he was talking about. All I understood was that there had been some drug deal made between the sons and Mayans.

The guy pulled the trigger back on the gun. "I'm going to give you one more chance to tell me before I shoot you. But first I want you to take your fucken cut off and lay it at me feet."

Jax showed no fear of him. He spit on the guy.

"Pull the fucken trigger. That's the only way this fucken cut is coming off my back."

He struck Jax's in the face with the gun "You are much stronger willed than your leader. We decided since he wasn't even strong enough to stand and protect his own club. There is no way in hell that he is strong enough to take us on." Jax's face said it all. Clay was somehow responsible for what these guys were going to do to us.

The guy then stuck the gun in my face. He smiled at Jax "What about the bitch; does she mean enough for you to cower to me?"

Jax had his mask on. "She's just some whore I was picking up, doesn't mean a damn thing to me. My old lady would carry my ink. Check her if you don't believe me. So let the bitch go and we will settle our business." One of the other guys raised up my shirt. I was never more thankful that I never wanted a tattoo than I was right now.

The guy picked my arm up and saw my bracelet. "Well well, it looks like we do have the right girl; VP's old lady. How about I let the boys take turns with her and make you watch? You will surrender to me just like Clay did." I swear if Jax and I get out of this alive that I am telling him the truth about what Renee wanted him to know.

Jax was struggling to get free from the two guys that were holding him. "If you touch her I will kill all of you mother fuckers by a slow and painful death." There was my outlaw unafraid and unstoppable.

They were all laughing at Jax. Asking him what the hell was he going to do about it. There was fifteen of them and one of him.

Then I heard a familiar voice. "He is not alone and if you touch her Jax will have to fight me to see who gets to kill you." Emmett found us.

It wasn't just Emmett. Jasper and Peter was with him. The guy with the gun was amused at them.

"You're little pussy boy gang better run home to your mamas before I let my boys show you what it is like to be fucked like a prison bitch."

Peter stepped toward them. "I would love to see you try that. People refer our gang as the Vamps; Very Angry Male Personality Syndrome."

Even in my life or death situation he thinks he is funny, shit.

I know the Mayans cannot hurt them but I fear what Jax will realize about the Cullens. If Jax knows their secret then they will have to kill him. Everything was going on so fast. Emmett beat those two guys that were holding Jax. Jax and Emmett side by side were fighting for what they loved the most, me.

The Sons were riding up. Those of the Mayans that were left standing rode away. Emmett made sure that I was okay and I couldn't wait to be in his arms. I was hugging him and telling him thank you for saving me. I should have never left the Cullen's house. He will always keep me safe.

Clay had a huge smile on his face when he walked up to Jax "I see Emmett saved your old lady again, I mean ex old lady. Kill those pieces of shit."

Jax just walked on by him. I do not understand the need for Clay to be so cruel to him.

As Jaxs was getting on his bike he told Emmett to meet him down the road. I rode with Emmett and he told me it would be fine and he wouldn't fight with Jax.

"I promise Bella I will not hurt him, too much." I must have had that look on my face. He kissed the back of my hand and told me he was just kidding. In a fight with a human Jax could hold his own but with Emmett he wouldn't have a chance. But I guess Jax and I have the same odds with trying to fight against vampires.

Jax was parked off the road sitting on his bike smoking. He didn't want to talk to Emmett; he wanted to talk to me.

"I think you really need to come with me. The Myans have already tagged you as my old lady. I can't live with myself if they hurt you. Emmett can fight but what the fuck is he gonna do when bullets start coming?" I couldn't tell Jax the truth. That being with Emmett was safer than being with anyone. But now I can add to the list of ones that are going to track me down; vampire and human. The more distance that I put between me and Jax the safer he is.

"I will be fine. I have turned your world upside down enough. I have something for you that I want you see. Can we meet tomorrow?"

It was time to give Jax the letters and let the shit fall where it may. He told me to come by his house after work.

I went to walk away and he grabbed my arm "Please Bella come with me. Even if you don't love me; I still love you. Emmett can't protect you from them. They will kill him too." I kissed Jax on the cheek and my heart sank but I had to let him go.

Emmett wanted to know if I was ready to go back to the house and face them again, I wasn't. So we drove around for a while and I tried to get my buzz on again. It was working. I started to relax a little and think he was too.

We agreed that after I see Jax that he and I are leaving. I don't care what happens to me but I would never want them to hurt Emmett because of me. He kept telling me not worry that Alice, Jasper and Peter are going too. That no vampire or human will ever hurt me; he would make sure of it. I believe that he will.

I wasn't feeling well when we got back to the house and I just wanted to lie down. Rosalie was being her normal bitch self to Emmett.

"I see that you saved the white trash so the vampires can kill her later."

Emmett went to say something to her but I stopped him. It was time for me to handle her on her own level. I looked down at the red pumps that she was wearing.

"Cute shoes are they new?"

"Uh yeah, I got them when Joshua and I went to France. They cost more than you could make in six months human."

I smiled at her leaned down and hurled. All over her feet and those pretty little red shoes of hers. I wiped my mouth off "I feel so much better now."

Emmett was laughing as he picked me up and carried me up to his room.

"Bella I am finding you so hot right now. You just upset her whole evening and I loved the look on her face. I will keep buying her new shoes if you keep doing that." I hugged him because he doesn't deserve to be treated like she treats him. Emmett would do anything for you and never ask for anything from you in return. He is so easy to love.

**(****)**

Emmett did not want me to go alone. I told him that Jax would never hurt me. I had to give him the package from Renee. It was not Jax he was worried about. Emmett and I are going back to Forks as soon as I get back. That is where I need to be right now.

I am doing Jax a favor by leaving him. The Mayans will still try to hurt him but the vampires that are looking for me will never know that he existed in my world. At least they will not try to hurt him and Abel too.

I had been waiting on Jax for almost an hour at the house. It was never like him to be running this late without calling. I kept calling his cell and he didn't answer. He wouldn't even answer his prepay.

Lila was calling me and I hoped that she knew where he was.

She told me the one thing that all old ladies fear the most of hearing; Jax had been shot.

* * *

**I Hope you enjoyed reading me.**

 

 

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	13. Chapter 13

**CLUBHOUSE POV**

The Sons rode as fast as they could along with Gemma to get to Jackson. The first bullet that hit him only wounded him. Jackson was able to call Opie to tell him where he was at and someone had ambushed him.

But the second bullet was the one that made it a life or death call for Jackson. It went in close to his heart; through his tattoo of Bella's name. When the Sons found him he was bleeding so bad and was already unconscious.

They put him in Gemma's SUV and took him back to the club house. They could not take him to the hospital. It is standard procedure that anytime there is a gunshot wound it has to be reported to the police. Jax is still on probation and this would mean a prison sentence for him. Along with any of the Sons that are associated or involved with a gun violence act and get caught.

Bobby kept calling around to find Tara. She is a doctor at the hospital and they were hoping that she could save Jax in spite of the difference that she and Jax may have had in the past.

"I have called everyone that knows Tara. No one has seen her in the past three weeks. When I talked to the administrator at the hospital, she told me that Tara never came back to work. She never called them to say that she quit; she just never came back."

Clay was telling Bobby. "Yeah I made a couple of calls too. Unser told me that rumor has it Tara met some guy and took off with him."

That was a lie. Clay knew exactly what had happened to Tara because he is the one that did it. Even though it was not Tara that had told Jax about what Clay had done to Jax and Bella; she paid the price for it.

Clay took Gemma in his arms to comfort her. She was scared right now that she would lose her only surviving son she had left. Clay knew after losing Thomas the way she did; if she lost her Jackson too that he would lose her as well. There are very few things in this life that anyone could say that Clay truly cares about but Gemma is one of them. She is his Queen.

But Gemma being under the stress of what had happened to Jax was not returning Clays affection. This was the first time since they had been together that she was not willing to walk by his side and honor his decisions.

"Clay I told you to nail Jax down and what bad shit would happen if you didn't. I'm going to lose him and it's because of you. This shit is your fault."

The Sons knew if Gemma was talking to Clay this way in front of them that something was seriously going on between Jax and Clay. They all knew there was a rip in their relationship but, now they knew it ran deeper than they thought.

Cherry and Lila were trying to comfort Gemma. With all of them being old ladies in the club; this is something that they may have to face themselves someday.

Bella came running into the clubhouse wanting to know what happened to Jax. She went back to his room and saw him lying on the bed covered in blood. She felt all the love that she has for him coming to the surface and all the guilt for the pain that she had caused him.

Bella did not understand why they just couldn't take him to the hospital and get him the care that he needs. Opie explain the situation to her and how it needed to kept out of the official's hands. Because going to prison and dyeing were one in the same meaning to all of the Sons.

Bella took out her cell phone and called the one person that she could always count on "Emmett I need Carlisle. Jax has been shot." Emmett told her they would be there as fast as they could.

Bella sat down on the bed beside Jackson. She pushed Jax's hair out of his face and took a hold of his hand. Bella saw the bullet had enter in his chest through her name and it only made the way she was feeling worse.

"I'm so sorry for everything that I have done to you. You have done nothing but love me and I wasn't there by your side when you needed me the most. I broke my promise to you and it will not happen again." She kissed him on the cheek and she started crying.

Opie tried to get Bella to leave the room. Bella was already starting to get Jax's blood on her but she wouldn't go. She was holding on to Jackson and no one could come between them.

Clay did not want the Cullens being a part of this and knowing anything about club business. "No one is allowed here right now. You both need to leave now." Carlisle looked at Emmett not sure what needed to be said to Clay.

Emmett saw that Gemma was crying and was in fear of losing Jackson. Emmett is a lot like Jax; Clay has no authority over him.

"Mrs. Morrow this is my father Carlisle Cullen. He is only here to help Jackson. We won't say anything to anybody. Do you want us to leave?" Even though Emmett hates Jax because of Bella he would do anything to make her happy.

Gemma knew the final decision was Clays. She looked at Clay with pleading eyes "Please."

Clay could not deny Gemma that. But he warned Carlisle and Emmett that there would be consequences for shit being discussed outside of the clubhouse walls. Carlisle assured Clay that disgression would be used and that no one had to know.

Tig took them back to Jackson's room. Carlisle asked everyone to leave. Bella didn't want too "Please Carlisle, let me stay with him?" Carlisle told her it would be best if she waited outside until he was done.

Carlisle asked Emmett to help get Bella out of the room. Emmett whispered to Bella "You have to let Carlisle help him. Bella I can't stay in here much longer there is too much blood." Bella looked into Emmett's eyes and saw that they were black right now. Emmett has not hunted for a few days and the blood was getting to him.

Bella kissed Jax on the forehead "I love you Jax please come back to me." Then she left his room.

Cherry and Lila had clothes for Bella to change into. Cherry put her arm around Bella "Jax will be okay I just know it. Come on baby girl let's get you cleaned up." Bella went into Cherry and Half Sacs room to take a shower to wash off the blood.

Lila smiled at Emmett as they walked past him "Thank you for everything that you and your father are doing for Jax. Bella is right you are a good man." Emmett smiled back at her but didn't say anything.

Bella was standing in the shower crying wondering if she could have somehow stopped this from happening to Jax. Feeling all the regrets and sorrow of Jax getting shot has brought to her. Bella didn't even tell Jax that she loved him the last time she saw him. Bella pushed him away; it was because she loved him that she did it. She did not want him or Abel to get hurt because of her. But now Jax may never know that she really does love him too. Bella gasped when the water was shut off in the shower.

Emmett held out a towel for her "Bella it will be all right. You have nothing to do with Jax getting shot. Stop blaming yourself. If you had been with him you would have been shot too. I love you and I cannot lose you." Bella knew what Emmett was telling her was true. But she still wished that she would have told Jax that she did loved him.

"Emmett I love you so much. I feel so close to you and no one has ever gone out of their way to make me feel special like you have. No matter what happens I will always love you." Bella needed to say that to him. She didn't want there to be any regrets with Emmett.

When Carlisle came out of Jackson's room he looked at Emmett and shook his head. Things were not looking good for Jackson. Carlisle went into the bar and asked Gemma if there was somewhere that they could speak in private.

Clay, Gemma, Carlisle, Emmett and Bella went in the room where the Sons hold church. It was the first time Bella had ever gone in there. Carlisle was explaining the details to Gemma.

"Mrs. Morrow I cannot give Jackson the care that he needs here. The bullet that went into his shoulder has severed ligaments and those will have to have surgery done to repair and reattach them. He will also need physical therapy to strength them. If I just remove the bullet he will lose anywhere from sixty to eighty percent usage of his right arm. Those percentages are only an educated guess."

Gemma started crying "Jax would never be able to ride again and it would kill him." Gemma knew if this happened that Jackson would be dead inside from never being able to get on his bike again. It would only be a matter of time until Jackson would find his own ending.

"Yes that is correct. Jackson would never be able to control his bike. But I am afraid that is not the worse part. The bullet in his chest is close to his heart. If I try to remove it; it could move before I get it out and he could die because it would enter into his heart. If I don't remove it; he will bleed to death. I do not have the capability or facility available to me to do that here. But if you would allow me to take him to Forks I know everyone at that hospital. I could possibly convince them that this was from a hunting accident and ask them not to report it. I would even ask to assist in the surgery." Carlisle would not ever want to lose one of his own children, so he would do everything in his power to save Jackson.

Clay told Carlisle there was no way in hell that he was taking Jax away from Charming. Gemma explained to Carlisle there would be bad people looking for Jax and that he needed to be protected by the Sons. But Gemma begged Clay to let them take Jax and provide protection for him. Clay told her that would never happen and his decision was final.

Bella asked everyone to leave the room so that she could have a word alone with Clay. Emmett looked at Clay as he was walking out the door "Bella I will be outside the door and I can be back in here in seconds if you need me." Clay noted that warning was meant for him.

Bella shut the door and sat down. Clay was not in the mood for one more female trying to tell him how to run his club "If you think that an old lady can change my mind save us both some time."

Bella spoke very slowly and clearly to Clay. Meaning every word that she was saying to him and wanting him to know that. This is a strength that came from being with Jackson. "I am not just an old lady though am I daddy? By blood rights I am next in line to take over the Sons not Jackson."

Clay was shocked that she talked to him like that.

"I didn't know you knew about me. But it doesn't matter because no female will ever run this club. So if you think that will have some pull with the other Sons you're crazy. So if it will make you feel better go ahead and tell them."

"Okay and how about at the same time I will tell them about the drug deal that you made with the Mayan that went bad. You may or may not have pulled the trigger yourself or had it done. But you are responsible for what happened to Jax no matter who did it. I have so much more I could tell them so the choice is yours."

Clay was not sure exactly what or how much Bella knew. It was impossible that she knew about the deal that he had made with the Mayans.

"You are threaten the wrong man little girl. I will not tolerate this shit from you in my club. So you might want to be careful what you say to me; daughter or no daughter."

"Or what you will put a bullet in me too? I received a very interesting package from my mother. When I am done talking to the Sons they will kill you themselves."

Clay agreed that Carlisle could take Jackson. After he gets out of surgery the Tacoma, Washington chapter along with Happy will provide protection for Jackson until he can come back to Charming.

Bella wasn't sure how about having a vampire and biker war at the same time but somehow they will make it all work out.

Carlisle convenience Gemma that it would be best if she and none of the Sons came to the hospital to hide Jackson's true identity. Gemma agreed to this because she loves Jackson and would do anything to save his life. She would even give her own life to do so. She would also need to stay to care for Abel until Jax could do it again.

Jax will be taken there by express care service. Which in translation means; they will run with him at vampire speed to save his life. Tonight Jackson Teller was given a new identity. He became Curtis Cullen the younger brother of Carlisle Cullen.

Clay decided while they would be away from Charming it was time to handle this Jackson and Bella problem once and for all. There is no way in hell that he can allow them to live knowing his secret.

**BELLAS POV**

Carlisle took off running along with Jasper to take Jax back to Forks. I know that Carlisle will save him. As soon as Charlotte gets here tomorrow she will leave with Peter and Alice to come to Forks too.

Esme will stay until she can get everything packed and shipped to their old house. She was thrilled of the idea of going home again. It was Rosalie and Edward that worried me. I wished that they would just go away.

When we got back to the house Rosalie and Joshua were having an argument. I didn't care what it was about. I only wanted to grab my stuff so Emmett and I could leave. But then I heard Emmett yelling as he was coming upstairs "I already told you no Rosalie." I asked him what was going on but he just said she was being her normal self. I finished packing and met Emmett downstairs to leave.

Rosalie was standing in front of the door of the jeep so that Emmett could not get in. He asked her to move but she wouldn't. He finally picked her up and moved her.

"Emmett I am your wife please stay with me. Joshua was just a phase for me and I am glad he left. It made me realize that I am still in love you. What could you possible see in Bella? She is not like us. You can't even have sex with her without breaking her. What kind of relationship is that? You can't protect that little bitch forever. She has to be alone sometime."

Now I understood what has been going on. Joshua had left her and Rosalie wanted Emmett back. I would never stand in the way of his happiness if that is what he wants too.

"Rosalie I was in love with you and you are my ex-wife now. That is what you wanted. You are the one that saved me and I will always have a love for you. You and I have shared so many years together. Out of respect of that I would like for us to have a civil relationship when we see each other. But if you come near Bella I will fucking kill you. So don't make me do it. Just so that you know; I have already made love to her. It was fucking great too." He started up the jeep and we drove away. Rosalie was still standing in the driveway.

No one has ever shown me the selfless kind of love that Emmett has. He has stood by my side when I still could not decide between him and Jax. Emmett has saved Jax's life a couple of times just so that I could be happy. He didn't care if it ruined his own happiness or not. I was taught the true meaning of put the happiness of the one that you love before your own by Emmett. I am going to return that to him now.

We had been driving for a couple of hours and he had not said a word. That was unlike him and I could tell that he has a lot on his mind. "Emmett if you want to have a relationship with Rosalie again I would understand. She is right; I'm not like you. I'm sure that having sex with me is not the same as being with her. You probably always have to worry about hurting me and have to hold back a lot. I just want you to be happy."

"Bella is that what you think our relationship is about, just sex. It's not for me. You are my best friend and my lover. I have never felt this way about anyone including Rosalie. Everything in our relationship was always about her and what she wanted. You never ask me for anything except to be your friend. You have made me think about things that I never thought about before."

That feeling was mutual. Even though I love Jax, he doesn't have the same way of thinking that Emmett does.

He pulled the jeep over to the side of the road and came around and opened my car door "Let's take a walk." I got out like he wanted but I didn't know why.

Emmett took my hand and we were walking into the woods in the dark "Why are we going out here Emmett? We should be driving to get to Jax."

"Because Bella I am going to show you that I don't have to hold back with you."

Now was not a good time for him to want sex from me. I am so messed up right now and confused about Jax too.

Emmett already knew that I was not completely over Jax and he was honest with me too.

"I will always probably love Rosalie in some ways. Maybe someday I won't, I don't know. But I can tell you that without feeling bad or guilty. That is the kind of relationship that you and I have. It is one of the many reasons that I love you so much. I know you still love Jackson too. I saw it when you were holding his hand tonight. Do I like it; no. But can I deal with it; yes. So there is no guilt about your feelings for Jackson when you are with me, okay?"

He never puts any pressure on me and always loves me unconditionally.

Walking around and doing the normal of pouring our hearts out to each other. Giving total disclosure of our true feelings only made me feel closer to Emmett. The closeness that I think we both needed to feel right now.

Emmett and I needed each other right now no matter if it is right or it is wrong. Feeling his cool breath against my neck in the summer heat was given me sensations throughout my body. He took my shirt and bra off and dropped it to the ground. His tongue was softly licking down to my breast. Taking my nipple into his mouth sucking on it and flicking it with his tongue was making my nipples so hard that they ached for more.

I took his shirt off and ran my tongue over his pecks and nipples. He seemed to like it. But when I started raking my teeth over them he had me naked and up against a tree. He lifted me off of the ground "Bella grab a hold of the branch above you and wrap your legs around me." I did and I felt his hard cock at my entrance.

He was teasing me by barley put himself into me and then taking it out again. It was driving me crazy. Using only the tip of his dick he was running it up and down my wet fold which was making me want him more. I need to feel him and I was trying to pull him into me by gripping him with my legs. Then he plunged his cock hard into me.

"My god you feel so good. I love you Emmett."

His eyes turned a coal black "Let go of the branch and hold on to me."

When he laid me down on the ground "I love you so much but right now I just need to fuck the shit out you. I promise that I will make love to you later."

"Then fuck me Emmett. Show me that you don't have to hold back with me. Show me that you and I can be one together."

He lifted my legs up resting them on his shoulders and was thrusting so hard in to me. My body was trying to keep up with his thrust and I was having an orgasm like I never have before but I still needed more from him. I grabbed his ass was pulling him into me. He was fucking me harder and faster; I was being taken to heaven by my vampire.

He was digging his nails into the ground where we lay and screaming my name. Fuck I was loving the shit out that. It was me that was making him feel good.

He pulled out of me and asked me if he could cum in my mouth. I put my mouth around his cock and he was thrusting it in and out. I was massaging his balls with my hand while sucking him. "I'm almost there Baby suck it harder." I was sucking him as hard as I could and I felt his cold cum running down the back of my throat.

After Em wore me out I was trying to sleep in the jeep.

"Come over here and put your head in my lap so that you can get some sleep. You are exhausted and I will wake you up when we get there." I have been dozing in and out for about an hour.

When I close my eyes all I see are vampires coming for the ones I love and bikers trying to kill Jax and Abel. Being close to Emmett did make me feel safe though.

Emmett was shaking me "Baby you need to wake up. Carlisle needs to talk to you."

"Bella I am sorry to have to call to tell you this. Jackson has gone into cardiac arrest during the operation. He may only have minutes left. The only way to save him would be to turn him into one of us. If this becomes the final option; is that what you want me to do?"

* * *

**I hope that you enjoyed reading me.**

 


	14. Chapter 14

**JASPERS POV**

Carlisle and I ran as fast as we could to get Jackson to Forks. We checked him in as Curtis Cullen and no one questioned Carlisle of course. They agreed to do it for him since it was his brother and was just a hunting accident. It will not be reported to the authorities. With Carlisle's credentials it would be overlooked this time for him but, they would not do it again in the future.

It would have caused more problems since it would be reported to Charlie Swan. I am sure he hates the Cullens enough because of what was done to Bella. Jackson would be locked up by him as soon as he found out. The poor guy seems to be catching it from all sides whether he is a biker or a Cullen.

The vampires and bikers both live their lives on the run from someone. Hiding what you have done so that no one will find out. Praying that no one will know your secrets and never letting outsiders in to your world. Bella seems to be the only exception in both of our worlds. They let her in so easily just like we had done.

Carlisle is going to assist in the surgeries for Jackson. I was not feeling well being near the hospital and smelling all of the blood. The feelings of despair, worry and death that was coming from here was about to bring me to my knees. Carlisle must have known because he told me to hunt and go to the house afterwards. He said he would call me to let me know what happens. Everyone thinks that Carlisle is not a strong vampire. But he is the strongest one of us all in the human world.

It felt good to be home again. This is the only place we have been that everyone was happy. There are still many things all of us will have to deal with but we are functioning as a family again. Except Rosalie and Edward. I don't think them coming to Forks was such a good idea. But I had no say in it.

Alice called me and told me Joshua had left Rosalie. She wanted Emmett back now. I felt what Rosalie was feeling when I was in Charming with them. I think she only has a superficial love for Joshua. Her true feeling for Emmett never came in to play so I don't understand why she would want him back other than just to have someone to hold on to.

Emmett on the other hand was still feeling love for Rosalie but a different kind of love than he had for her before. Emmett is the most kind and loving vampire out of our family. He only wants to see the good in people and with his personality he walks more on the human side.

After I hunted I was thinking of Emmett and Bella. What he felt for Bella was pure love. Those two will have so much to overcome to be together. Jackson if he lives will be a problem because Bella loves him too. I felt her love when she was with him. I don't see Rosalie just giving up because that is not her style. She always has to have her way.

Then there was Edward. He had been careful when I was around not to have many emotions and it scares me. When I understand what they are feeling it can be dealt with. But when you can't is when they become dangerous because everything comes as a surprise. I think he has a few of those coming in the future for Emmett and Bella. I just hope it doesn't divide the family again or have a worse outcome than that.

I was enjoying the silence and it being just me when I got to the house. It looks so empty and abandoned. Not like the home we once had. But that will change once everyone gets here.

Alice called me to tell me about her vision. "Jasper I saw one of the Sons coming to Forks to make sure Jackson doesn't make it. I also saw them trying to kill Bella to hide Clay's secrets."

Bella only told Clay to get him to agree to let Jackson go but this was going to end badly. I knew about the package she received from her mother and everything that was in it. The question is will Jackson be strong enough to kill one of his own brothers? I would not want to have to make that decision.

"Alice do you know which one it is or when they will be coming?" We would be ready for them and no one will hurt Jackson or Bella.

"No I don't know who it is. All I saw was Clay telling them to handle the problem and their back was turned. I saw they had on a Sons vest like the one that Jackson wears. They still have not decided when or how yet. It keeps changing because they keep rethinking it. Their last thought was to make it look like they just disappear and to dishonor Jackson as a Son. That he betrayed his brothers for the love of Bella." I told her to keep an eye on Clay's decisions.

He will be the one that makes the final call and we will deal with them accordingly. I will have to tell Bella at some point bu, not today. Even if Jackson doesn't make it Bella will still need to be protected from Clay.

**BELLA POV**

Jax may only survive for a few more minutes in this world. I had to make a decision and quick. Is this what he would want? If I did he would never see Abel again. Living his life on the run and never changing. Never getting to have the love of the road again would probably kill him even as a vampire.

But I was selfish because I didn't want to lose him. Emmett did not say anything but I could tell that his vote was no. Will Jax end up hating me forever? That is how long Jax will have to hate me if he becomes a vampire. I told Carlisle if it came down to it to save Jax and to turn him. I would face what I had to with him.

When we got to the hospital Jax had pulled through this one on his own. I was so grateful it did not come down to changing him. I could only imagine how beautiful of a vampire he would have been but I am not sure if he would have been an evil one or not.

I just stood there seeing all the tubes and machines hooked up to him just so he could take another breath. I saw him in a way I had not seen him before. Even when he was knocking on deaths door my outlaw is still unstoppable.

When the nurse came in she wanted to know if we were family. That is the only way that we could stay "Yes I am his old lady and this is his nephew." I answered before I thought. I could tell that Emmett was upset but it was the only way that we could stay with him. I guess I could have said I was his niece but I didn't think of it at the time because his old lady is what Jax always called me.

Carlisle said it would be awhile before he would wake up but I wanted to stay with him. I'm not sure how he will be when he finds out we made him a Cullen. But I am guessing his reaction will not be good. I told Emmett to go hunt but he didn't want to leave me. I finally convinced him too.

Carlisle gave me what he called a special cell phone to call Gemma on. Which meant it was untraceable. The bikers call their cell phones prepays and the vampires call theirs special. Each Cullen had one just in case they had fled from where they were staying so they could get in contact with one another. Each of the bikers had one to make calls that are above the law or so shit would not blow back on them.

When Gemma answered the phone she took a deep breath and waited for me to tell her the outcome "Jax made it through the surgery but he will have to stay in the hospital for a while."

She was so relieved and grateful to Carlisle that her son had been saved. I told her I would call her when Jax could leave so they could send the Sons to protect him.

I stayed by Jax's side and never left his hospital room for two days. I slept on the small couch in his room. I used his bathroom and shower. Most of the time Emmett stayed with me too even though I told him he didn't have too. He always brought me food but I really didn't want it. Emmett is such a good man. I wonder if Jax would have done the same if the roles were reversed?

When Jax came to I was asleep but I woke up real quick because he was pissed. Even though he couldn't get out of bed and his voice was hoarse, it didn't stop him. "I'm Jackson Teller I don't know who the fuck Curtis Cullen is. Bella tell them who I am." I was going to have to dance around this somehow. Thankfully the nurse called Dr. Cullen.

When Carlisle came in he told the nurse that he would handle his brother. Carlisle played it off as he had head trauma and was confused. Jax's eyes were huge when the nurse called him Carlisle Dr. Cullen.

"You're a fucken Cullen. I'm leaving here and you can't sto….." Carlisle gave Jax an injection and he went out like a light.

Curtis Cullen was released immediate under the care of Carlisle. We setup a bedroom for him. I was told not to let Gemma know Jas was out of the hospital yet because there are Sons who will come here and cause problems.

When I asked Jasper what that meant he told me that Clay is going to come for me and Jax. Until they are sure of what is going to happen with the Sons; Jackson is being hidden for his own protection as well as my own. It was a horrible thought Clay could hurt his own daughter and step son but to him we mean nothing.

I was thinking of Charlie. He will find out eventually I'm back and I am going to have to face him too. The list of humans, vampires and bikers; that I am going to have to face and run from are getting so long.

When Jax woke up for the second time it was as bad as the first time. "Where the fuck am I and why am I here?"

Carlisle made me wait in the hall and was trying to keep Jax calm.

"Jackson you were shot. I brought you here to perform the operations you needed. You could not go to the hospital in Charming due to some issues of your wounds being reported to the officials." Carlisle was great with him.

He talked to Jax for a few minutes and Jax only response to what was being told to him was "Can I ride again?"

It was the most important thing in his world. It is what makes him Jackson Teller. Carlisle told him with time and therapy he would be able to ride but it would be a while.

Jax seemed to understand why he was here but he still didn't like it. Carlisle wanted him to get some rest to get his strength back. Jax would not be able to get out of bed on his own because if he falls he could break his stitches lose. In a house full of vampires that is the last thing that anyone wants is for him to start bleeding.

Carlisle kept encouraging him to eat but Jax said he wasn't hungry. He had lost some weight and looked so week lying in bed. Nothing like the strong outlaw that I 've always known and loved.

As Carlisle was leaving the room "Jackson you have a visitor waiting outside to see you. Would you like to see Bella?"

"Nah not now I'm tired."

It broke my heart he didn't want to see me. Maybe he decided it was best for us not to be around each other at all.

Alice was going into Jax's room to watch over him and help him if he needed it "Bella he just needs time. I will take good care of him. I promise." I knew she would and I had nothing to worry about but I wanted to see him. Or maybe it was more that I needed him to want to see me.

I was standing at the door the next morning when Carlisle went into see him. Jax was sore and weak still. At least Carlisle said his wounds looked good.

"Thanks doc for saving my life. I don't know how I am gonna pay you for everything but I'll figure out something." Jax has a lot of pride and always wants to pay his own way.

"You are welcome, saving lives is my job. Jackson you don't have to worry about anything because you do not owe any money. Everything has already been taken care of. You are a Cullen after all." Carlisle laughed but Jax didn't.

"I don't want it to be a hand out and I'm not a Cullen. Are you related to Emmett?" That was what was bothering Jax the most, Emmett.

"Yes I am Emmett's father. My wife and I are incapable of having children so we adopted. I can understand your ill feelings towards Emmett and the Cullens. But he is my son and is just as much responsible for saving your life as I am. You may not be a Cullen by name but as long as you are in my care you are our family too."

Carlisle is always so good at hiding his truths. He wears the mask better than anyone, including Jax. Carlisle can make sense out of anything and make you believe it. But he was telling Jax in his polite manner that Emmett will be respected as much as Jax will be in their home.

"You're looking much better. Tomorrow I want you to get out of bed and start moving around. I will give you something for the pain and it might make you a little drowsy."

"If you would like I am sure Bella would be happy to sit and visit with you for a while?"

Jaxs would not even look in my direction "Nah I don't need any company."

That was not an acceptable answer today.

After Carlisle left I went in and stood by Jax's bed "Are you going to keep ignoring me?"

"I'm not ignoring you. I didn't figure your boyfriend would like you being in here with me."

"I did all of this to save your life and your ass from going to jail for you to be a dick to me. You could at least acknowledge my presence. Emmett was at the hospital almost the whole time you were in there. So if you want to be mad at someone be mad at me and not him. None of this is his fault."

"You're wrong about that; it's my fault because I let you play me. You don't love me so go. Go to Emmett cause I can't take this shit right now." I didn't even say anything else to him. If that is the way he wants it, then that is the way it will be.

**(****)**

Over the next couple of days Jax was starting to get up from bed and move around. I kept my distance from him and he was still avoiding me. He was spending most of his time with Peter and Jasper. I think Alice wore him out with her bubbly personality.

But the funny part is when Alice wanted to play dress up the little biker boy. She gave him a pair of khaki shorts and a plaid orange button down shirt. Jax told her there was no way in hell that he was going to wear that. But I was laughing when he asked her "How long have you been on drugs? Cause you gotta be high to be like you are." I don't think that she got what he was trying to say because she asked him what he meant by that.

Rosalie and Esme arrived today. Jax was sitting out on the porch when they got here. We all went outside to help them carry the stuff in from the car. Rosalie went over and introduced herself to Jax.

"You must be Jackson. It is a pleasure to meet you. I am Rosalie Cullen, Emmett's wife."

Jaxs looked at me for the first time since being here "His wife."

"Rosalie is Emmett's ex-wife." She glared at me.

When everyone was going inside; Jax asked if he could talk to me. I already knew what he wanted to talk about, Emmett.

"Bella what kind of Jerry Springer shit is this? I was listening to everybody talk. Edward is coming here. Your fucken your ex-lover's brother. His wife or ex-wife whatever in the hell she is; is his sister. She is gonna be here too. Jasper and Alice are brother and sister. I know they're fucken each other. Alice is nice but she is strung out or some shit. The only ones that seem normal are Doc and Peter. What shit are you involved in?"

Damn that was a hell of a statement and question at the same time. I'm sure on the outside looking in it is strange. But I can't tell him the truth. I really can't believe he thinks that Peter is the normal one either. The strangest vampire of them all.

"It's complicated. Emmett and Rosalie are only adopted brother and sister. Just like Alice and Jasper."

Jax is very intelligent even though he has a rough exterior. Most people look at him as just a bad ass but when you get to know the real him; he is a very profound person.

"Nah Darlin, my world is complicated but this is just all kinds of fucked up."

Emmett and I have had no time alone since we got here. I was in the kitchen making lunch for me and Jax since we are the only ones that eat human food. He was kissing me down my neck when Jax cleared his throat. Emmett backed away from me. He went and stood over by the counter.

"Don't let me interrupt I was gonna get some water." I made Jax a glass of ice water and he left.

I could tell that both Jax and Emmett are uncomfortable being around each other. But I have to be around Rosalie so I do understand. The only two men I have ever slept with are living under the same roof together. Even I find that fucked up.

Emmett and I went for a walk to escape everyone for a while. I forgot how cold and rainy it can be in Forks after being in Charming. Today it was chilly outside and he gave me his sweatshirt because I was shivering. He always thinks of me.

**JACKSONS POV**

I went back to my room to get away from Bella and Emmett. I want to kill Emmett but I won't do it here for the respect of the Doc. But later is still open.

When I opened the door the blond bitch was sitting on my bed "Hello Jackson. I think you and I need to talk. We have a common goal, you want Bella back. I want my husband back too. If we banned together perhaps we can achieve this." I wasn't sure what kind of sick shit she wanted to play, but I didn't want to.

"Get the fuck out of my room. You do what you want but I'm not playing games with you or them."

"You will get tired of sleeping in your bed alone and knowing that Bella is in Emmett's. It is Emmett who is making her moan his name every night. Let me know when that has become a problem with you." I was trying not to think about Bella being with Emmett. It seems that everyone knew before I did that they were together including her.

Bella left some stuff on the dresser for me. It was a pack of smokes, my dad's journal and some Harley magazines. I needed to get out of this house and away from these fucked up people. I took my stuff and went out to the flower garden. It took me a bit to walk out here but there was no fucken Cullens. I could have a smoke in peace.

I decided that I would start my own journal. I would have to write slowly because I've never used my left hand to write before. But what else do I have to do at fucked up Forks but kill time.

Maybe someday it will help Abel to not make the same mistakes I've made. Make him see that you can bring your own hell into your life. I have done some horrible things to people and now those things are coming back to me.

Life was good and I wanted to make shit right when I was with Bella. Now I think it's just a punishment for me. It was dangled in front of me; what I could of had and then it was taken away from me because I am not worthy of having it.

Thinking of what to call it came easy. SAMCRO Living My Life in A Slow Hell, dedicated to Abel Teller. The life I hope my son will never have to live.

* * *

**Entry 1-**

**_Your grandfather John Thomas Teller was the_ **

**_founder and President of the Sons of Anarchy._ **

**_He wrote the same thing for me only it was too_ **

**_late by the time I found out to change my path._ **

**_It was too late for him before he died too._ **

**_._ **

**_Your path can be different from mine and his._ **

**_It's a choice that you're gonna have to make. I_ **

**_never thought about the wrongs I've done until_ **

**_you were born. Then Isabella swan came into_ **

**_my life. The both of you made me see the world_ **

**_through a different set of eyes._ **

_**There is good out there and you can change for** _

_**the better. I've never loved like I love you two** _

_**and had a cause that has lighted a fire within me** _

_**to fight for.** _

_**.** _

_**I have been around and in the SOA since I was born.** _

_**It's all I know. I would give it up so that I can be the** _

_**father you deserve and to make us a life with** _

_**Bella if I knew how. It's not simple, once you're in,** _

_**death or prison is the only exit from the club.** _

_**.** _

* * *

Bella wanted to know if we could talk. I really didn't want to but it was time to work our shit out.

"Jax I know you are upset with me still for bring you here and making you a Cullen. I did it to save you and I had to fight Clay to get him to agree to it. You think I don't love you but, I do. When you got shot I regretted not telling you that I love you too when you said it to me the last time. I thought I was never going to get to tell you that again."

Bella said two things that tore me up inside. She still loves me and I'm feeling a hope she will come back to me. She had to fight with Clay and I know that he doesn't give a shit about me.

Clay probably will wish I had died when I can go back to Charming. It's time for me to have a final showdown with him. For now I am putting club business on hold and out of my head.

"Bella I love you but I'm not Emmett. I will not be the puppy on leash for you. You're my old lady or you're not. You don't get to have it both ways."

In some ways for Bella's sake I think Emmett is the better choice for her. He can provide financial for her. She wouldn't have to live the life of mayhem and chaos that I live if she was with him. If I was the bigger man I would let her go, but I'm not.

There is something strange going on with the Cullens though. They appear all prim and proper on the outside. I'm finding out more and more they don't have a perfect life like it seems. Maybe Emmett isn't the best one for her. Hell I don't know. The girl has me fucked up too.

Bella was asking me if I remember anything about being shot or saw who did it. It was dark and the only thing I remember was a blue Dodge truck came up from behind then open fire. I must have passed out after that.

Just hanging out with Bella and talking about everything reminded me of when we were together. She was the only woman I 've ever shared that with. I was probably giving myself false hope that we could reconnect again.

**EMMETTS POV**

I was watching Bella with Jax out the window. I could hear everything that they were saying. I know Bella would never tell him any of our secrets. She would take the blame or whatever came rather than exposing us. She has done this time and time again. That is just another reason I love her so much. She protects the ones she loves no matter what it will do to her.

Rosalie came into the room. I'm sure it was only to make me miserable somehow. I protested to Carlisle about Edward and Rosalie coming but he said they are a part of this family too no matter what. Carlisle and Esme love all their children but that doesn't mean I have to.

"Emmett I see that you are watching the cute human couple. Jackson is such a hot looking human. I would have loved to seen him as a vampire. But then again so did Bella." She wanted to fight with me and I was not going to give her that pleasure.

"It is probably better that Jackson stayed a human. He could give Bella so many things I always wanted in my human and vampire life. Growing old with the one that you love. They could have a child and grandchildren together if she chose to stay with him. But of course she has not made a decision between the two of you yet; now has she?"

She touched me and it made my skin crawl "You and I were so good together. We could have that again. Emmett I love you and want you to be my husband. But if you are just waiting around to see who Bella is going to choose then I might have to move on. I would hate to see you end up all alone because she chose the one that is of her own kind. Jackson can give her the life she deserves to have."

"Then move on Rosalie."

Jasper and Alice wanted me to go hunt with them. I didn't like the idea of leaving Bella alone with Rosalie. Peter and Charlotte were staying at the house. Peter told me not to worry because Charlotte never liked Rosalie and would love a chance to kick her ass. That brought a smile to my face because I know Charlotte would do it too.

They wanted to be alone so we could talk. The vampires were coming here within two weeks, maybe sooner. It seems that Victoria has added to her little army several more vampires. They don't have the strength of a new born but they are experienced fighters. I could tell that Jasper was somewhat worried. He suggested that we start training now for them.

The bikers coming didn't bother me at all. I will take Clay out if that is what it takes to make Bella safe. I do not think I will have to do that when Jax finds out the truth of the things he has done. I will let him have that kill as long as it does not harm Bella.

There is not much difference between me and Jax in that department. We are both natural born killers. I do mine with my body and he does his with a gun. If it came down to it he would kill to protect Bella just like I would. I'm probably the worst offender because when I was a newborn I had no control over myself. I slipped and killed some innocent people. I carry that burden still today with me.

Even the outlaws have a code of ethics to kill by. No women and children; making sure their kills never include the innocent. Bella knows the worst part about us both and it never had an effect on the way she feels about us. To her we are normal men.

The other issue we had to address was what to do with Bella and Jackson. They can't be anywhere near this fight. I wasn't excited about them being off anywhere alone together.

We also have to hide what's going on from him or kill him. Jasper must have known what I was thinking and feeling.

"Emmett killing Jackson is not an option. We would only do that if he knew the secret and to stop exposure." It was still an option to me.

I found a couple of deer to take down. It was weighing on me everything Rosalie said about Bella and Jackson. Bella would have a human life with him even though it would still be on the dangerous side. But I won't give her up without at least trying to make it work. I am not sure that I can go back to just being her friend.

**BELLAS POV**

Jax and I had a good talk. We said some things that needed to be said. But we also said things the other one didn't want to hear. We both still love each other and that can't be denied.

Jax was yelling for Alice so I went to see what he wanted. When I went into his room, he needed Alice to help him take off his sling. Carlisle said he could take it off and take a real shower as long as he didn't try to use his arm. I told him that Jasper, Alice and Emmett went hiking and I could help him with anything he needed.

"Won't Emmett get mad if you take a shower with me? Showering together is always something that we both enjoyed. You could run your hands all over my body to wash me naughty nurse Bella." I was referring to undoing his sling and bandaging his wounds once he was done. My face must have been really red. This is the first time that Jax embarrassed me.

When he came out he was wearing the pajama pants Alice had bought him. I was surprised because they didn't seem like him. But he looked really sexy in them. We got his arm put back up and he said he felt much better after taking a shower.

I was dressing his chest wound and ran my fingers over the tattoo of my name "That still means something to me Bella. You'll always be a part of me. Taking a bullet is almost how I felt when you left; a shot through my heart." I tried to pretend that didn't hear what he had said to me. I finished dressing his wounds and was going to leave. I still have truths that could get him killed and I love him too much for that. I needed to get away from him.

He took my hand as I was picking up the wrappers off of the bed. "Will you stay with me until I go to sleep? I feel drained and I've missed you being by my side." I promised Jax that I would always be by his side when he needed me and I will.

We lay on the bed together as we had done when we first met, still dressed. I laid close to him but I was afraid to get to close. He held my hand like when our love for each other was innocent. I was only going to stay until he went to sleep.

When I rolled over and Carlisle was talking to Jax. Carlisle noticed that we were holding hands but he never said anything. Jax is going to start some physical therapy; doing repetitive movement of his arm and lifting a small weight to start strengthen his arm.

Emmett was setting in the chair staring at me and Jax. I told Jax that I would be back. When we went down stairs Emmett and I went outside. He was upset and I kept asking him if he wanted to talk about it.

"Bella I understand you have to take care of Jax right now. I respect the fact you will always have a love for him. But I'm afraid I'm going to lose you to him. He can give you things that I can't." I wasn't sure where this was coming from with this. Emmett has always been the understanding one.

After talking he told me what Rosalie had said to him. She wanted him to feel less than because he can't have children like Jax can. I was honest with Emmett like I always am; until Jax is well he was going to be a part of my life.

**(****)**

Jax and I went to town but I wanted to avoid seeing my dad so I looked for his cruiser everywhere we went. Not that there is a lot of places to go in Forks.

But I ran into the one person that is sure to tell Charlie I was back, Jacob. We stopped at the gas station so Jax could get a pack of cigarettes. Jacob eyes were huge when I introduced Jax as Curtis Cullen.

"He can't be a Cullen he is not a va…"

I threw my arms around Jacob and said it low "Please don't say anything he doesn't know."

Jacob was confused but he behaved and didn't say anything. Jacob could not get his bike to start when we went to leave. Jax helped him out and told him what he needed to do.

Jax noticed Jacobs tattoo "What's your tat mean?" It figures that he would notice that.

Jacob gave him an explanation but not the whole truth "I live on an Indian reservation. It's the tribes sign. All of my Indian pack brothers wear it."

Jaxs related to Jacob in so many ways.

When Jacob asked Jax what his meant he told him that he used to belonged to a club of brothers too. I noticed that he said used to.

Jacob asked Jax if he could maybe help him out with a bike that he had been having trouble with. Of course Jax wanted to do that. Jacob told him to have me bring him down to the reservation tonight.

On the way back to the Cullens my bag was open and Jax saw my gun. He took it and said he would keep it for me. It didn't bother me any he had it.

While the vampires are training and fueling up for the battle Jax and I were going to be hanging out. We are at least comfortable now being around one another.

Emmett was not happy about leaving us alone even though he knows that Jacob would protect me with his life. I called Jacob and explained the short version of the story and asked if Jas and I could stay on the reservation tonight while the Cullens were away. He said not a problem but Sam and pack were meeting with the Cullens when they get back to find out all the details of the vampires coming to Forks.

Jax, Jacob and I hung out all afternoon. They got along as brothers and I didn't feel uncomfortable at all. It was actually a relief from all the feelings I have had lately.

Jax had Jacob's bike running in an hour. He would tell Jacob what to do to it. I didn't understand a damn thing that they were talking about.

They found an old bike in pieces in different boxes. Jax of course knew what it was.

"Do you know how rare a 1940 Indian Harley is? Whose is it? Restored it's worth a fortune. I'll help you restore it kid if you'll be my hands. I still can't really do much."

Jacob was excited and they went to talk to Billy because it was his father's bike. Billy told them to do whatever they wanted to do with it.

They worked on the bike while I helped Sue and Emily with dinner. I asked Billy not to say anything to Charlie until I told him I was back and he said he wouldn't. He was meeting Charlie for one of their all night fishing trips tonight.

This evening was fun and comfortable. I missed being around Jacob and the pack. Jax was getting along with everyone like he was a blonde Indian.

When Jacob left for patrol Jax and I took a walk on the beach. I knew something was bothering him. We sat down and he looked sad.

"Bella I'm not your problem anymore. You don't have to listen to my fucked up shit."

"Will you tell me what's wrong already?"

"I miss Abel. He's the only one I miss. He may not even remember me when I go back. But I wonder if it wouldn't be better for him if I didn't. I just fuck up everybody's life that I'm in." I understood all too well that feeling. That is always how I always feel too.

We are staying at Jacob's house tonight and I told Jax to take Billy's bed and I would sleep on the couch. He needed to be comfortable.

"Bella do you know what I miss the most about your being gone? I miss how the bathroom used to smell after you got ready in the mornings. Holding you at night and having you there when I wake up. But the most of all I miss my best friend I shared my everything with."

I went to sleep with my head on Jax's left arm. I was afraid to hurt his chest but he kept telling me it was fine. We kissed a few times and I really have missed being near him too. I was a wake a long time after he went to sleep remembering how good and warm it felt laying next him. Being reminded of all the feelings I have for him and what a good man he really is.

(****)

Over the next few days Jax and Jacob had bonded. I would drop Jax off at the reservation when he got up and pick him up in the evenings. He was happy and at ease. I never have seen him like this before. Jax even said hey to Emmett this morning when he passed him in the hallway. That was an improvement.

I was running a little late picking Jax up today. But it doesn't surprise me how well Jax and Jacob get along. They are both a lot alike. Both of them had been the sunshine in my world when I needed it the most. The both of them have a hate for the Cullens too.

When I walked into the garage they had Kid Rock cranked up and were singing along to, Wanna Be a Cowboy Baby. But it wasn't just Jacob here today. Jax had made a little Harley assembly line out of the wolves. Quill, Embry and Seth each had taken on a part to rebuilding this Harley. They all seemed to love Jax.

We were on our way to town to order parts for the Harley when I noticed that Jacob was starting to shake. We drove Billy's truck. I was setting in the middle of him and Jax. Jacob pulled the truck over to the side of the road. Jax asked him what was wrong.

Jacob got out of the truck "Get the fuck out here their coming."

"Whose coming are you okay kid?" I knew who Jacob meant, vampires.

All hell was about to break loose. Two vampires were walking down the middle of the road. I told Jax to get in truck that we had to get out of here.

"Fuck that who are those people? Are they enemies of Jacob? Cause I'm not leaven the kid to fight two of them alone."

Jax had no idea how much of an enemy to Jacob they were and to me too.

Now was not the time for Jax to want to be his bad ass self. I had to get us out of here so that we didn't get killed by the vampires and to protect my Jacob's secret.

One of the vampires yelled "We want the girl."

Jax pushed me behind him and took my gun out of the back of his pants.

"Nobody is taking you unless they go through me first."

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed reading me.**

 


	15. Chapter 15

**BELLAS POV**

The other wolves were coming out of the woods and Jacob was about to phase in front of us. They came to fight the vampires that showed up too.

Jax's face had turned white when he saw those massive animals snarling. They weren't going to do any harm to us but Jax didn't know that.

"What the fuck are those?" I knew but of course I could never tell him the truth about them. They are the same little Indian tribe boys that he had been spending so much time with.

Jax aimed his gun toward them and he was going to try to kill them. I was struggling with him for the gun to stop him.

"What the fuck are you doing Bella; stop?"

Then the gun went off by accident. Jacob was lying on the ground.

We had shot him. I was trying to save the other wolves and we shot my Jacob. Jax and I both went running to get to him. Jax was trying to get Jacob to respond and he wouldn't. Jax put his head to Jacob's chest.

"He is still alive. Fuck, we fucken shot him. Why in the fuck were you fighting me? I was trying to kill the big wolf looking things."

"Where the fuck did the wolves and those other people go? It's like they just disappeared."

This was going to end badly. It's only a matter of time until Jax puts all of this together. He already has started to realize that the Cullens are different. I overheard him asking Peter all kinds of questions about them. Their eyes are what he was asking most about. He noticed all their eye colors were the same and they are supposed be adopted children.

Running to the truck to get my cell phone and I called Carlisle. He was on his way here. He said we needed to stop the bleeding. I took my t-shirt off and handed it to Jax. "

Carlisle said to put pressure on the wound."

"I can't Bella you're gonna have to do it. What if he ends up dying? We did it. We're the ones responsible for taking that kid's life."

Sitting by Jacob and pushing my shirt down as hard as I could. I have never seen Jax ever back away from anything. I saw him walk over to the side of the truck and he was throwing up. He sat down against the truck on the ground and was staring off in space.

Then I understood. This was the first time my outlaw was stoppable. He was weak right now. I have always been the weak one and he has always been the strong one. We just switched roles. I usually would have been the one that would have backed away and let someone else do it for me. I should have been getting sick but all I could think about was saving Jacob.

It seemed like forever sitting and waiting for the Cullens to get here. I was already feeling pain and sorrows of what I had done. I only wanted to save one wolf from getting shot and I caused it for another one anyways.

Sam and couple of the other wolves came in their car. They said they had heard gun shots and wanted to see what happened. They only did that for Jax's benefit. Sam took my bloody t-shirt from me and used the one he had on for Jacob.

"Hold on Jake we will get you some help."

"I have already called Carlisle he will be here any minute."

Sam didn't say anything but told them to help him pick Jacob up. He also gave me a shirt out of his car to put on. I hadn't even thought of the fact I only had a bra on.

"We don't want any help from the Cullens. Bella, you of all people, should have known better than even to call them."

This was Jacob's life on the line and they still wanted to ignore the one person that can help him because he was a vampire and their natural born enemy.

"Sam please. He can help Jacob and Carlisle won't say anything." I was pleading as much as I could with him not to move Jacob because I know once he crosses the treaty line; Carlisle can't go there.

Jax finally got up and came over to Sam.

"What's wrong with Doc helping Jacob? What does Jacob have to hide from that Doc can't say anything about? Does he a warrant or something?"

Sam ignored him at first but Jax was not going to have that. He asked the question again.

"Our tribal beliefs are why Doctor Cullen can't help Jacob. We have nothing to hide from anyone."

That sort was and wasn't a lie. The tribe is definitely the reason they don't want the Cullens near them. But Jax didn't believe him. He was talking with Seth and I couldn't hear what they were saying. But I know Seth would never tell him the truth. At least for now their secret is safe.

Carlisle and the other Cullens arrived. It was intense between the vampires and wolves. The wolves all stood protectively around Jacob. When Carlisle asked what happened I told him the truth that I was the one that shot Jacob by accident. It's all my fault.

But then again I am to blame for everyone being in this mess. My vampire family is in danger because of Victoria coming here. I still fear I will lose one of them to the fight. Emmett is becoming more and more attached to me every day. I am the one that let that relationship progress too. He is such a good man and deserves someone better than me. Someone that won't cause so much turmoil in his family and someone he doesn't have to watch over all the time.

There are new wolves phasing more due to the Cullens being back. They are so young and will have to carry that burden the rest of their lives. The other vampires coming here were already causing problems for my wolf family too. I could have killed Jacob. He had never done anything but be good to me and love me. Always my protector and today I could have been his ending.

Jax being here is my fault too. I am the one that wanted to bring him here. I am putting the vampires and wolves secrets in danger because I tried to save him. I might have helped saved Jax's life but I think I broke his spirit. The thing that Jacob says lives inside of you and makes you who you are.

Carlisle was trying to talk to Sam from a safe distance because he didn't want to push them to hard. Sam at least was speaking to him but you could tell the hate from his voice. But they had to be careful what they said to each other with Jax being around. Carlisle called Jasper over.

"Jasper why don't you take Jackson and Bella home. Sam and I are making an agreement on what to do with Jacob."

"I'm not fucken going anywhere. I'm staying with Jacob. This shit is my fault. When we get to the hospital tell them I'm the one that did it not Bella."

Jax was feeling the same guilt that I was for what we had done to Jacob. But he wanted to protect me no what matter what it cost him. Jax was still showing me he loves me and would do anything for me especially after everything I've done to him.

I'm not sure how Carlisle is going to get around the hospital thing but there is no way that Jacob can be taken there. Sam agreed that Carlisle could help Jacob and come on their land but only him. The rest had to stay away. I rode with Carlisle. Jax went with Sam and Jacob.

Carlisle called Jasper and told him about the other vampires. The rest of the Cullens were tracking where they went to. But they know that they still need to honor the treaty boundaries.

**(****)**

Jax and I were waiting outside of Billy's house with the rest of the pack. Carlisle had been in with Jacob for a couple of hours. Sam and Quill were inside watching Carlisle's every move I'm sure. They don't trust Carlisle but I know that he would never hurt Jacob. He never wanted to hut anything living or dead.

Jax pulled out his pack of smokes and offered me one. This is the first one I've had in a while. I tried to talk to him but I could tell he was in Jax's world right now. It wasn't that long ago I was sitting and waiting to see what his outcome would be.

Billy and Jax talked about the wolves we saw. Billy was trying really hard to convince him in this part of the country there were animals outsiders would not be used to seeing and it was completely normal.

Jax asked about Jacob's enemies. Billy told him not everyone understands their way of life and beliefs so they have enemies they sometimes don't even about. The vampires, wolves and bikers have got to be the best at wearing the mask of truth.

Then Billy was trying to distract Jax by telling him some of their legend and old stories. He was keeping him busy by confusing him.

Carlisle came out and told us that Jacob was going to be okay. He was awake and was asking for me. When I went inside Jacob was covered in sweat and looked so weak.

"Jacob I am so glad that you are okay. How are you feeling?"

"Like I have been shot. But I guess you would know that since you're the one that shot me." Then he looked at Sam.

"Hey you did it Bella." I can always depend on Sam for his help and support.

Jacob told me that Carlisle said he would be fine almost like he was never shot in a couple of days. His wound would pretty much heal itself. That was the best news I heard all week long.

Jacob was laughing. I didn't understand why "Jax told me about you almost shooting him. He's right you don't need to ever have a gun anywhere near you."

But then after talking with Jacob it would have been worse if he would have phased in front of Jax. I don't know what to do about him. If he stays here he is in danger. If he goes back to Charming he is in danger there too.

Jax stayed with Jacob. No one could make him leave. We were setting on the couch; he kept getting up and down to check on Jacob. Even though I tried to tell him each time that Jacob was asleep.

When I woke up on the couch and Jax was gone. I went into Jacob's room and he was sleeping but Jax wasn't there. I thought maybe he went outside to have a was a light on in the garage and I knew where he was.

Jax had taken off his sling was doing something to Jacob's Harley.

"Jax what are you doing? You are not supposed to use your arm very much."

"I'm almost done sanding down the gas tank. Then I can paint it. I was thinking about painting it black and putting Jacob tat as an emblem on here in red. Do you think he will like that?"

"I think that Jacob would love that. But you're still not supposed to be using your arm yet. Why don't you come back inside with me?" For some reason Jacob has become important to Jax. This was not something coming from guilt either.

Jax was stretching his arm out and gripping his hand together. He must have over done it and still doesn't want to stop. I went over was rubbing his arm and shoulder.

"Bella why do you do it?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You're still trying to take care of me and I don't know why. When you're nice to me I take it as you still care. It's only fucken me up more."

Letting go of him. I went and sat down on the milk crates that Jacob gave us to sit on whenever I'm in here with him. So I am the reason that Jax is fucked up and broken. There is no doubt left in my mind now.

He pulled up some milk crates and sat beside me. We talked for a while and it should have been more obvious to me that I am hurting him by being around him.

"I never meant to hurt you. If it would be better for you I will stay away from you or leave here until your well enough to go back to Charming."

"Is that how you think I'm gonna feel better? For you to never be around me again. So I guess you've made up your mind about Emmett huh?" He went back to working on the gas tank.

"I don't know what to say Jax. I don't feel that I'm worthy of either one of you. I should just let you both go and run the fuck away. Lately I want to be away from everybody. Look at what happened to Jacob because I'm around. All I ever do is bring more shit into everyone's life."

"I think you and I are feeling about the same right now. I lost it when we hurt Jacob and I was weak for the first time in my life. But it's been coming for a long time. My direction and path has always been fucked up. I was to blind with power to see it. Since I've been seventeen years old I've always had the cut on. I thought it made me who I was. It only made me who I thought I needed to be."

Jax set the gas tank down on the ground and the tears were running down his cheeks. I held him as tight as I could while he let out his feelings. He has done it for me so many times.

"Bella you are the only person I've ever connected with outside the cub and I don't think I'll be able to do it with anyone else. That scares the shit out of me." I have connected with him too in ways I have not with anyone else either. But I am scared I will only end up hurting him more or even getting him killed.

Jax was kissing me so slowly and with so much passion. I broke away from him "I don't think this is not a good idea. I don't know where I'm going to tomorrow. I have no direction either and I can't promise anything."

"Bella that is almost everything I said to you the first time we were together. If you can't promise me tomorrow then give me now. I need you and not just for sex. I need to feel that feeling I get when I'm with you. If you're worried about Emmett; I won't tell him." I wanted that feeling too with Jax. That burning desire and heat that burns almost straight into my heart when I'm with him.

We walked down the beach hand and hand. I almost felt like that innocent little girl again. But I know I'm not. I needed to choose one of them or give them both up. I can't keep going back and forth between the two of them. It's not fair to them or me. I am only tearing myself a part in the process too. You can love two men at the same time but you can't do right by them both.

We laid down in the sand. It was cool outside but the heat that came from his body was warming me. Jax had always taken his time with me when we have made love and this was no different. We kissed and explored each other's mouths with our tongue for a long time. Our bodies were moving together against each other and our hands enjoying the feeling of one another.

Jax was undressing me and kissing my body as he did. Feeling his hot tongue and lips over my body was making me want him more. Licking and sucking on my clit was driving me crazy. I pushed his head down hard into my pussy.

"Do you want more Bella then show me?" He went right back to licking me. But when he was making his lips vibrate against my clit and I came; like I never came before.

It took me by surprise when Jax ripped my shirt off of me. He has never been aggressive with me like that before. When he entered me with his cock he was rough and raw.

"That's my pussy. Don't ever forget who made you a woman." He was in the sand on his knees pulling my hips into him. He only made the rhythm harder and faster of his cock going in and out of me.

The more I moaned the harder he fucked me. Feeling the sand granules grinding against my ass with every thrust he made into me. I was being buried deeper in the sand and Jax was burying his cock deeper in me.

Jax stopped moving and pulled out of me. He took my hand to pull me up and lay down on his back in the sand "Ride me like my Harley."

In this position I could feel so much more of him. I was gasping for air every time I would pound back down on his cock. He was meeting my pussy every time by thrusting under me.

He grabbed my head and pulled me down to lie on his chest. Kissing me so hard and I could feel cum running out of me and down to the sand.

I put his sweet shirt on and we lay in the sand together just looking at the stars. We never said the words to each other but we both knew that we still love each other.

Jax had been writing in a notebook he got from Billy a lot. When I asked what he was writing about he told me it was just some personal shit and he wouldn't let me see it. I found it odd that he wouldn't share it with me because he always does.

I told Jax that I was going to get some clothes for us. I had some other errands to run and would be back soon. Jacob just smiled because he knew that I was going with the Cullens to meet the pack. They are going to work out an agreement on how to handle the vampires that are coming here.

**JACKSONS POV**

After being with Bella again I felt at peace and whole again. I know I've caused my life to be fucked up but I wanna make it better. I want a real relationship with Bella and have that perfect family for Abel. But I don't have a fucken clue how to make that happen.

I thought about Abel and how I can make sure he has a good start on life. I could go nomad for a while and then challenge Clay for his seat but it would probably be so fucked up by then I would never get the club back to where it was meant to be. Maybe I should just run away with Bella and Abel. But then someone would just find us.

* * *

**Entry 2-**

_**I'm not sure what's real anymore.** _

_**I've always known what I was** _

_**gonna do and where I was gonna** _

_**go. But my direction has changed** _

_**just like the clubs. I started what I** _

_**thought was a crusade to save** _

_**my club; but it's to save me.** _

_**.** _

_**When the club is wronged we've** _

_**gotta be compensated in blood** _

_**or money. Blood is what makes** _

_**us go. The money has become** _

_**our only focus. The greed is** _

_**killing us all slowly. The club is** _

_**dieing with us. We've created** _

_**Clay and direction it's going** _

_**in. We've let him do whatever** _

_**he wanted over the years and** _

_**followed along.** _

_**.** _

_**Our own personal relationships** _

_**were no more than pluses and** _

_**minuses. I didn't understand** _

_**what JT was taking about** _

_**when he wrote that for me but** _

_**I do now. That's how we treat** _

_**them and they follow along.** _

_**I've wronged every woman I've** _

_**ever been with. If I would of** _

_**told any other old lady to get** _

_**out they would've begged me** _

_**to let them stay. But not Bella,** _

_**she went and got another old** _

_**man.** _

_**.** _

* * *

Jacob came out and sat down with me. He wanted to know what I was doing.

"I've tried to work some shit out in head and it didn't work. So I'm putting it on paper and hoping for the best."

"Bella has that way of fucking with your head." Jacob was right; she does.

We talked about the Cullens and Jacob seemed to have as much hate for them as I do. Except for the Doc, he did save us.

When I asked Jacob why he hates them so much he would never answer the question. No one ever really answers my questions with a direct answer around here I've noticed.

I've got respect for this kid and I trust him. That's something that doesn't come easy for me. I can count on one hand all the people I trust in this world.

"Jacob I have something to show you." When we walked in the garage Jacob went over and touched the emblem on the tank. It meant to him what I thought it would.

"Man I don't know what to say. I can't pay for all of the shit you've done on this." I put my hand up for the brother hood grip. That's what he is now, my brother.

"It's on me kid. That's the least I can do since I shot you. But how come you act normal? Like you're completely over it." I've been over two weeks trying to heal and this kid bounced back in just a couple of day.

"I don't know, probably because I am so much younger than you are grandpa."

Then he laughed "I'm prettier too." The one thing I have noticed about being here was that I swear Bella doesn't know any ugly guys.

Jacob went for a ride on his new toy. The engine and pipes made that familiar sound; the Harley rev and rattle that I've missed hearing so much. But the kid was happy. I told him to keep the bike or sell it and keep the money. Being out here on the reservation with him has been good for me.

I asked Jacob if I could use his cell phone and I called Opie to see if he would send me some money until I get back to Charming. I spent almost everything I had in my pocket on Jacob's bike.

There so much shit Opie had to tell me. Clay had put the Sons in against the Mayans as drug carrier. Told them all about the big score we could all make and the risk was nothing. That's fucken why the Mayans were after the Sons and probably why I got shot too.

"Why didn't you do something Op?"

"What the fuck Jax do you think I'm gonna do about it? I can't challenge Clay brother all I can do is vote. But there is something else I should tell you but I'm not sure you'll wanna know."

Clay told the whole club I was gonna be stripped of my VP patch when I got back and not to listen to me anymore.

Opie said he had to go because they were on a ride to Tacoma, Washington to drop some shit for the first score. I looked at Jacob "How far is Tacoma from here?" He told me about two hours.

I told Opie that I would be there and he said he would give me some money then.

"Jacob how would you like to earn five hundred bucks?"

"What do I have to do for it?"

"All I want you to do is to ride by my side and watch my back. I can't trust anyone at this point. But I'm not gonna let Clay take down what JT lived and died for."

"Okay but, what are you going to ride?"

"Emmett took my old lady so I'm taking the fucker's bike." I did warn him what bad shit happens when you break the rules of the ride.

I wrote two notes to leave to tell them where I was going and how I felt.

* * *

**Bella,**

**Clay is out of control. Riding with Jacob to Tacoma, will be back.**

**I love you.**

**Jax**

**.**

**Emmett,**

**Fuck you!**

**Jax**

.

* * *

The last note that I wrote made me feel so much better. Wonder how the son of bitch will like that. The only one that was here was the blonde.

"Would you give this to Bella for me?"

"Of course Jackson anything I can do to help."

Then she handed me a key "This is the key to Emmett's bike so you don't have to hot wire it." Then she winked at me. How in the hell did she know what I was gonna do?

I rode until I met Jacob outside the reservation. I pulled over and he asked me why I was laughing.

"An Indian riding on an Indian, fucken classic man."

The ride was killing my arm and shoulder. I rested it anytime I didn't have to shift or stop. But it felt good to be on the road again. My love for the ride is one of things I live for. I can't wait until Abel is old enough to ride beside me.

We got there before Clay did. I went around to the back cause I know it was where they will go to make the drop off at. I was smoking thinking about how to handle this shit. Clay isn't just gonna let me stop him from doing this without a fight.

When the Sons rode around the corner Clay didn't have a happy look on his face that I was here.

"What the fuck are you doing here Jax?"

"Last time I checked I'm the VP of this club and I still help make club decisions with you. When the fuck did you decide the Sons are drug mules? This is the one thing that we don't fucken tolerate from nobody. The Sons don't get involved in drugs. If we don't honor our own code the next thing will be killing innocent women. But I think you already know about that too. So this shit stops now. There is gonna be a new vote with me here. We do it now so you can't stab me in back while I'm not watching."

Tig got off his bike and came by Clay side. This piece of shit will want to fight but my boy Jacob was right by my side looking all huge. Tig didn't back down from Jacob but he did give me a warning.

"Jax you need to back the fuck up from Clay."

"No I'm not backing away or down from Clay anymore. This is my club too. I'm the goddam VP and I call a vote."

Tig got up in my face and Jacob had him on the ground in seconds "Jax can't fight right now but I can."

"Jacob you can let him up now." This kid was worth every damn penny.

"So big fucken deal. You went and got yourself a little body guard. The deal the Sons made stands. You're over ruled. Why don't you go back to wherever in the hell you have been hiding out resting at and stay there. You have no more authority in this club."

"That's it old man. I challenge you for your chair. I wanna be the head of the table. It's time for a new King. Someone that's gonna do right by the club so fuck you."

"You can't challenge me. You're not blood. So I figure I will be King until I die. The little prince lives no more."

"You're as senile as you are crippled. You have no blood."

"Oh I have blood; my daughter Bella. What you guys gonna vote her the new King?"

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed reading me. Jackson is going to start finding out more secrets and things will get a lot more complicated for everyone.**

**The time is almost here for our little Bella to have to decide which man to walk by and which one is in her heart more.**

**You cannot do justice for two men at the same time no matter how hard you try.**

 


	16. Chapter 16

**BELLAS POV**

Emmett had been quiet on the ride to meet Sam and the other wolves. I was feeling the same guilt about being with Jax as I had when I was first with Emmett. But I have learned from my mistakes and I was going to be honest with Emmett.

"Em there is something that I need to tell you."

"I already know. You were with Jackson. When you take a shower it doesn't just wash him away. " I didn't say anymore about Jax but at least I confessed my sins to him. Even if he doesn't want to be with me, I was honest with him. I should have been more honest with Jax but it's harder to tell him the truth. I have to be careful what I say to him.

Their meeting with the wolves was going alright. Neither side completely trusted the other but at least they were going to try to work together on this.

One of them will be watching over Charlie just in case. The vampires will train the wolves on better ways to fight their enemy. They will extend the boundaries to one another if they are in pursuit of a vampire. They can cross each others border with no repercussions.

After the wolves left Alice's face went into a blank stare and Jasper was asking her what was wrong. "Jackson is going to confront Clay. Clay is going to tell him is your father Bella. Then the Sons are going to come after both of you and Abel."

Carlisle was on phone with Rosalie telling her not to let Jax leave the house no matter what she had to do. We all left after that to go back to the Cullens. This is just one more mess I have caused.

I went upstairs and Jax wasn't there. But on his bed was the notebook he had been writing in. I read all the words he had written. Knowing him so well, he had finally came to that cross roads of hell I was afraid it was going to happen. But when I came to entry three I had to stop reading.

* * *

**Entry 3-**

_**I've been more confused about** _

_**life since you've been born.** _

_**Some of its good cause I think** _

_**before I just react now.** _

_**I keep my head until it's time to** _

_**fight. Use your brain before** _

_**bullets was the words the** _

_**Sons were supposed to live by.** _

_**JT calls it diligence, I call it** _

_**growing up finally. But some of** _

_**it's bad too cause I think so** _

_**much until shit starts eating at me.** _

_**I want you to know all my truths.** _

_**Abel learn from my mistakes** _

_**and be a better man than me.** _

_**.** _

_**Even as a baby you already have** _

_**truths too. I'm not doing this to** _

_**hurt you but you need to know.** _

_**Your real mother is Wendy Case** _

_**Teller. She left because drugs** _

_**were more Important than having** _

_**a family. She has only held you a** _

_**couple of times since you were** _

_**born. I've never heard from her** _

_**since. If I die before you grow up,** _

_**you have the choice if you** _

_**want to know her or to see her.** _

_**No one else will tell you the truth** _

_**about her. They hide the truth by** _

_**another lie. Something I've learned** _

_**to do so well. But eventually you** _

_**start believing the lies yourself.** _

_**It only makes you feel better for a** _

_**while but it all comes out and around.** _

_**.** _

_**The one I call your mother is Bella.** _

_**She has taken care you since you** _

_**came home from the hospital.** _

_**To her you are blood. When bad men** _

_**tracked you both down because** _

_**of who I am, she protected you.** _

_**She would have given her life for** _

_**you no different than I would for** _

_**you or her. But she left too. Not** _

_**cause of you, but me. I'm not** _

_**the kind of man that a good woman** _

_**would want to stay with. But if you** _

_**ever need to run, go to her. I believe** _

_**in my heart she will be there** _

_**for you no matter what happens** _

_**because she has for me.** _

_**.** _

* * *

I closed the notebook and sat down on the bed. Abel is the one that will suffer the most for what I have done to Jax and because of things his father has done. But Jax is right I would be there for Abel no matter what happens.

Emmett was standing in the doorway "Bella we have to go."

Downstairs Carlisle was arguing with Rosalie "Why would you do that? We protect our family. The more people that come here; the bigger the risk of exposure for us. Not only have you put Bella, Jackson and Abel in more danger but the rest of your family too."

"It wasn't my day to watch Bella's little boyfriend. If she is so worried about him then she shouldn't be off fucking around with Emmett. Jackson took Emmett's bike too and he left this for them."

It all goes back to her still wanting to be with Emmett. But she was right I can't be with both of them and still care about the other one. Give them both the respect and love they both deserve from the one that is supposed to love them. With Jax and me being here it is only going to continue to risk more exposure for the vampires and wolves.

When Carlisle opened the envelope all he would say is Jacob and Jax had gone to Tacoma. Emmett wanted to see it. But he wouldn't tell me what it said after he read it.

I don't know where I want to go or where I want to be anymore than Jax does. Emmett has finally found his family again and has a direction. I feel more lost now than I ever have. I know I have to get away from all of them.

Emmett took a hold of my hand as we were driving to Tacoma "It will be alright I promise. I will always be here for you Bella and we will protect you no matter what." He still wants to protect me too. But when can I ever start protecting myself and say I can walk on my own.

"Emmett, why do you want to be with me? You can have anybody you want and someone that is like you. I feel like shit because I was with Jax. I am only bringing more shit into your family by being here. I hurt you and I hurt Jax. So I don't understand why either one of you still want to be with me. "

"I love you and you were with Jackson because you love him. Don't worry about the family. We brought more hell in your life then you could ever bring to us. I told you I would always be there for you and I will. I understand about your feelings for Jackson and being confused. But I didn't say it was okay to fuck him anytime you wanted to. Would it be okay if I had a farewell fuck with Rosalie?"

I looked out the window because I was so ashamed I didn't want to see his face "I would be upset if you were with Rosalie but I would deserve it if you did."

Relationships are pluses and minuses just like Jax said if you really think about. There is the good and the bad side to each one. But you have to decide which side has the ones you can and can't live with.

We passed Jacob and Jax. They stopped along the side of the road. Jax taking Emmett's bike was wrong. But Emmett said if that made Jax feel better then he could have it. He only bought it so I would ride with him. That makes me feel good and bad at the same time.

**JACKSON POV**

"What the hell are you talking about? You're not Bella's dad. You can't take this club away from me; JT started this."

"Why do you think her mother wanted her away from you? Bella is more like her old man than even I thought. She threatened me with telling everyone I was her dad if I didn't let her take you away for your little operations. But I'm guessing she didn't tell you about me from the look on your face. Emmett knows he was there when she did it. So I guess we know who she trusts the most now don't we. But I'll give her that she tries to carry some big tits for being such a little girl to stand up to me. It's to bad Bella is one that's like me instead of my weak pussy step son. You're just like JT; he became so weak before he died and everyone lost respect for him too."

Clay took the delivery off his bike "Jax you're still bound to the club but just as a brother. You try to roll on us and I'll kill you myself. It's time to deliver our shit now."

The others were following Clay just like we've always have. When Juice walked by "I'm sorry Jax you're still my brother." Then he followed the others inside. Opie and Sac were the only ones that stayed behind. The rest of my bothers already picked their side.

Opie called Lila and told her to go get Abel from Gemma. To bring me a car, money and Abel. Sac called Cherry and told her to do a ride along with Lila. I could hear them talking around me but my whole world had shattered before my eyes.

My club was gone. JT's legend was over and it now belonged to Clay if Bella was his daughter. I still have no exit from the club and they will kill me if I try to leave; that just how shit works. Bella betrayed me once again and I fell for it.

I asked Jacob if he knew about Clay. "No the only one I've ever known as Bella's father is Charlie." I asked about him and where he lives.

Jacob told me he lives in Forks and was the chief of police. Holy fuck what have I done? Her dad is a cop and she knows everything about the club. All the things that I've done too because I let her in.

Opie was shaking his head and I already knew what he's thinking. I asked Sac and Jacob to give us a minute. Jacob was showing Sac his bike, he was proud of it. I used to have things I was proud of too.

"There seems to be a lot of things that you didn't know about Bella brother. Do you think she's been hanging with us for intel? What if she turns on us?" I told Opie she won't or I'm praying that she don't. I made him swear not to tell the others about it cause I know what they will do to her. The same thing they do to every other rat; anybody gets in their way.

Sac wasn't happy at the club either "I'm thinking about not patching in. When I came to the clubhouse it was you Jax that told me it's more than a club, it's a family. But if Clay would do that to you what do you think he would do to me? I'm just a prospect and I don't even get to vote. But it's fucked up what Clay is doing. I overheard him and Tig, he is patching in Bobby as VP."

"What the fuck? Opie is next in line after me. Bobby won't challenge Clay. This is just getting more fucked up. Does Piney know yet?"

Clay has played the game well. He knows he can run over Bobby so there won't be nobody to stop him. Clay and Piney were the only ones left from the original nine that started the club. It will kill Piney when he finds out and they might as well take his patch too.

"I thought about leaving the club and starting over somewhere with Abel. But they're not gonna give me an exit out. Clay just made that fucken clear." Now I will have to do whatever that piece of shit wants or death is my exit.

"Let's ride nomad and I'll ride with you brother. The only thing I have is Lila, the kids and you."

Riding nomad with me was a bad idea for Op. I am gonna have a target on my back when word gets out that you can see from a mile away. Everyone I've ever wronged will be gunning for me because they'll know I have no protection.

We talked about going to the Tacoma chapter but they won't sponsor just two riders as a new charter. Opie said he would come back after they dropped the shit at all their points and meet up with Lila. Opie gave me some money and I paid Jacob. I'll have enough until he gets back to Forks.

On the ride back to Forks we passed Emmett and Bella in his Jeep. I pulled over and so did Jacob. I told Jacob to ride on without me but he wouldn't go.

I was pissed at Bella. Why does she keep doing this shit to me "Why in the fuck didn't you tell me Clay was your dad; if he even is? Have you been playing me the whole time? Is this some shit you did with Clay to get me out of the club so he could take over?"

She just stood there looking down at the ground. I grabbed both of her arms "Bella fucken look at me."

Emmett gripped me hard by the arm "Enough Jackson. Everything Bella has done she did for you." I jerked away from him.

"Really did she fuck you for me too?" Jacob stepped in between me and Emmett.

"I can take care of my own shit Jacob."

He didn't move and his body started shaking "No Jax you can't handle him." I still don't know what the kids beef is with the Cullens but I would say it's some bad shit.

Bella told both Emmett and Jacob to stop this was about me and her right now not them. Emmett stepped back but Jacob didn't.

"Jax I was going to tell you the night you were shot. That's why I came to your house. I didn't know anything about Clay until after my mom came to Charming. I have wanted to tell you so many times. But I had to tell you before I left and then everything changed after you got shot." I wanted to believe her but I don't know if I can trust her anymore.

Then it really hit me in the face what she had just said "You were gonna leaving Charming? The only reason you're still around me is because of my getting shot isn't it? You were just gonna fucken walk away from me and Abel like we were nothing; you had already planned to leave with Emmett then didn't you? You don't love me really do you?"

I waked away from her before I did something that I would regret "Save your fucken pity Bella. I don't need you."

**BELLAS POV**

Jax walked away and he still doesn't know the truth. But I do love him and that's why I didn't tell him before.

Jacob was shaking his head "Bella why are you doing this? You know Jax told me about why he had to come here and some of the bad shit he's done; at least he knows who he is. Since you're back around the Cullens I don't think you know who you are anymore. You haven't even tried to see Charlie since you've been here. Then again would you have come to see me if I hadn't ran into you? I think the answers no because you don't need me because you have the Cullens. They will leave you again and I won't be there to pick up the pieces this time." Then Jacob got on his bike and left.

When we got back to the house Emmett's bike was parked in the driveway but Jax wasn't here. He took all of his stuff and went to stay with Jacob on the reservation.

I lost my outlaw, my sunshine and my best friend all in one day. Jax hates me because I didn't tell him the truth. He thinks I have been using him so Clay could get his way. I was only trying to protect him and make Clay do what was right at the time for Jax.

Jacob is mad at me for being around the Cullens and not hating them as much as he does. If it wasn't for him taking care of me after the Cullens left me I would have already been dead or still wished I was.

Emmett is disgusted with me for being with Jax and I can't blame him for that. He has saved so many times too and shown me so much love. But his patients with me has obviously come to the end.

I thought about what Jacob said and the Cullens will leave me again. I can't stay with them forever. I will age and they will never change. This is the same way it went with Edward.

I went upstairs and got the package Renee had given me. It was time to face those truths with Jax. The Sons were going to come after him if I gave it to him or not. Maybe at least he will be ready for them. I'm trying to right the wrongs I have done with him and Abel.

Emmett was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs "I will go with you and wait at the treaty line. Bella you're doing the right thing and no matter what I will be here for you."

I dropped Emmett off and he kissed me good bye "Bella I will always love you. I will be here when you're done."

Jax and Jacob were in the garage when I got there "I don't wanna see you Bella, leave." Jacob left so that Jax and I could talk.

I handed Jax the package "What's this?" I told him that he has always wanted total disclosure from me and we were going to start with this.

Jax read every page of it and showed no emotions at all. He asked if he could borrow my cell phone.

"Did Lila get Abel yet? Op don't tell Gemma a fucken thing. Not where I'm at, nothing; thanks brother."

He handed me back my phone "Bella I've gotta kill him."

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed reading me.**


	17. Chapter 17

**CLUBHOUSE POV**

There was only about half of the Sons who showed up to the clubhouse this morning. No one had really said much about Jackson because they were torn between the brotherhood and following their leader Clay that they are bound to do.

Clay came in the bar "Where the hell is everybody? Juice call them we need to hold church tonight."

Juice did as he was told but not everyone answered Clay.

Bobby asked Clay if they could talk. They went in and sat at the table "Go ahead brother what's on your mind?"

Bobby was already upset with the way things were going with the Sons and the direction the club was heading in. He thought Clay and Jackson would eventually work their shit out and everything would be fine.

"Clay I have rode with the Sons most of life. I've always done what was best for the club even though it wasn't always best for my family. We've all served time and that's just the way shit works. But our family still suffers our choices. I have respect for you as our leader but you're wrong this time. You can't take this away from Jax and if Bella is your daughter then she needs to be a part of the club. I was hoping after Jax met Bella that they would be together; they belong together. I have never seen himn be more focused and determined. He belongs at the head of the table when you're done. This club can't take any more hits and survive."

Clay didn't like the words that were coming out of Bobby's mouth but it still didn't mean anything to him.

"I hear you brother and I have a common respect for you too. But I don't see Bella ever wanting to be part of the club. She has chosen the Cullen boy over Jax. I didn't make that decision for her. But when she has children and they want the gavel it belongs to them. They are my legacy and Jax is not gonna be a part of it anymore. I want you to be my VP brother and serve by my side. You'll take the gavel after me and if Bella has a son then he will follow you."

"The VP spot goes to Opie not me. Even if Jax is no longer apart of this club it belongs to Opie. I won't take the patch because right now I don't want to serve by your side because you're wrong. It should be Jax or Opie; I'm sorry brother. When you want someone to just agree with you; you need to go to your boy Tig. When you want to hear the truth; you need to come to me."

Bobby walked out and closed the door. Clay knew it would be a rough ride for a while with the brothers but they are still bound to the club and really have no choice. He figured with time he would make Bobby come around to his way of thinking.

Tig came in and they discussed the Bella and Jackson problem they have. It was time to start dealing with it. Clay told Tig to do it. As Tig was walking out the door.

"Tig don't fuck this up like you did the Donna thing. If this shit blows back on me in any way I will make you pay for it."

Gemma came storming into the clubhouse. "Where's Clay?"

Bobby told her he was in at the table.

She went in a slammed the door shut. "What the hell did you do to Jackson? Since when does the Sons deal drugs? You didn't even tell me about it. This shit stops now."

"I did what I had to do Gemma just like I have always done. We are gonna go through with this and you have no say in shit. You're not a club member; you're just an old lady. Know where your place is and stay in it."

Gemma doesn't have any say but Clay has never kept club business away from her before.

"This is bullshit. Jackson was always meant to take over Clay. Why did you tell them Bella is your daughter? Do you know what bad shit is coming? They took Abel away from me today. If he rides nomad I will have to go claim his body, he will have no protection. "

"Gemma I am doing this for us. I have another year or two to ride then it's over. Do you think the little prince is gonna take care of us then? I will only be able to sit as a member at this table. This score is gonna have me and you set for the rest of our life. Jax will be back cause he can't live without his mommy. He will fall in line just like JT did."

"This club divide before and I am telling you that's exactly what will happen again. JT lost control of his brothers and he let you have the club. Jackson is not JT and he will come for you."

Clay slammed Gemma up against the wall and had her by the throat.

"So let him come. If I go down; I'm taking you with me. You're not gonna walk on both sides this time Gemma. You had me so blinded by pussy then and I fell for it. You need to decide if you're my old lady or Jax's mommy."

The door opened and Piney walked in the room. Piney laid his gun down on the table.

"Is everything okay in here? Gemma are you alright Darlin?"

"Everything is fine brother; just a little disagreement between me and the old lady."

Clay knew why Piney had come in and showed his gun to him. Piney would be dealt with later.

Gemma left the room because she knows what was coming. She has already lived through this hell once with JT.

Piney stared Clay down and picked his gun back up. "Right."

He followed Gemma out the door and made sure she made to her SUV. Piney couldn't protect Gemma forever but he won't let her get hurt in front of him.

Gemma got in her car and lit up a smoke. She took her cellphone out.

"I need to purchase a plane ticket please; Gemma Teller."

**BELLAS POV**

After Jax read it he hadn't said anything. "Jax what are you going to do? I still don't understand what my being Clay's daughter has to do with your not being in the club anymore."

Jax told me it went by blood line of the original nine. He was just a boy when JT died and Clay was given the President's patch then. The gavel went to Clay and because he had no children that made Jax by blood the VP. Now that Clay has a child it would make him fall further down the line. If I have a child and it's a boy; he would fall as VP until Clay stops being the president then it would belong to my son and not to Abel.

"I'm not gonna do anything until Abel is here and safe. Then I'm gonna think it through but I'm gonna make him feel the same pain JT did. I'm gonna kill him slow and painful. I know you think I'm an animal but I don't care. It's what I've gotta do even if he is your dad."

"Charlie is my dad and always will be. Clay is no more than a sperm donor."

But I thought maybe now was a good time to be honest with Jax about few more things. How much more can he hate me?

"I read your notebook that was lying on the bed."

"That's just great Bella. It was never meant for you to see; it's for Abel." I explained to him I feel the same way about Clay and Charlie that he does; only it's written about me and Wendy. I was denied being given the choice and it was made for me.

After we talked for a while he finally smiled at me.

"Hell maybe that's why we feel so connected. Bella you and I are a lot alike. We've lived a lie our whole life but we can still set shit straight." My life hah been a lie. But I don't want it to be anymore.

"There is one more thing I have to tell you. I didn't save Abel from those men; Emmett did. That was the first time he came to your house. I just said I was the one that shot them so you wouldn't know and Emmett wouldn't get in any trouble. He loves Abel in his own way too and would do anything to protect him. So the person you should be grateful to is Emmett."

Jax didn't say anything. I could tell it bothered him about Emmett but, he needed to know the truth. At least I told him as much of the truth as I could tell him.

I had to go because Emmett was waiting on me. Jax walked with me to the Jeep and I told him that I would be back tomorrow.

"Bella will you tell me the truth; why you picked Emmett over me? Don't answer it now but I wanna know. I want it to be total disclosure between me and you. Don't be afraid to give me the answer; you can't hurt me any more than you already have." I guess I deserved that stab to the heart Jax just gave me. I didn't know how to answer his question but I will find the answer, he deserves that much.

Emmett asked me how things went with Jax. I told him everything just like I always do. But I decided he needed an exit out if he wanted it.

"Emmett if you want to go back to Rosalie or just even the score with me I understand. I don't want to hold on to you if that's not what you want. You're a good man and you deserve more than what I have given you." He only smiled but didn't say anything.

I didn't want to see anyone when we got back. I went to my room and took a hot shower. I was lying on the bed when there was a knock on the bedroom door.

It was Emmett standing there in the same sexy red silk shorts that he had worn when we went on our get away.

"Bella I was wondering if you wanted to watch some TV?"

He was doing the same thing to me that I had done to him.

"Okay young man but only if you promise to keep your hands to yourself."

"What if I can't promise that?"

We just laid together and watched TV. He told me it had nothing to do with him wanting to be with Rosalie again. He wanted me to understand where he was coming from.

"You do understand Bella the time is going to come when you have to decide between me and Jackson. I don't think you can be around both of us and just be friends with us. I promised I would always be your friend and I will. But, I don't want to go back to being just your friend. You and I have never talked about the future for many reasons but, I want more. I want you to be by my side forever."

They both tag teamed stabbing me in the heart today.

Emmett let out a long sigh.

"Edward is here and Carlisle wants to see everyone."

**JACKSONS POV**

I sat out on the beach after Bella left. I read the whole package again and again. Everything Clay has done and nobody knew about or even called him on it. He had been the same way for years and we were all to blind to see it. We were his puppies on a leash. But I won't have to read this again because it'll be burned in my mind until I die.

* * *

E _ **very day it becomes more**_

_**clear that I don't belong here.** _

_**I'm certain now Clay and** _

_**Gemma are together. They** _

_**barely try to hide it from me.** _

_**Gemma hates my apathy. She** _

_**hates all of me. Her chill is** _

_**terrifying.** _

_**.** _

_**I know my days are numbered.** _

_**When these letters stop you can** _

_**be certain my death will come** _

_**at the hands of my wife and best** _

_**friend. At least my sweet Thomas** _

_**will never suffer my life. I miss** _

_**him so much. I only pray that** _

_**Jackson finds a different path.** _

_**He already reminds me so much** _

_**of myself.** _

* * *

Clay turned brother against brother and everyone against JT. Just like he was doing right now. Maybe my brother Thomas was the lucky one dyeing so young cause I know he made heaven if there is one. He was innocent and pure never living the life we do. There isn't a heaven for outlaws like me, just hell on earth.

I was tired and crashed on Jacob's couch and thought about why Bella did what she did. She carried the burden of my truths with her and still wanted to take care of me. I was only getting more confused about Bella and didn't want to think anymore tonight. I'll get to hold my sweet baby boy tomorrow.

When I saw Abel he had grown so much since I've seen him. He can sit up like a big boy now too. I held him and was grateful god had mercy on me; gave Abel to a man like me. I won't let my son down.

Cherry and Sac was walking down the beach.

"Where are they going?"

Lila smiled. "Abel is going to have a playmate soon, Cherry is pregnant. She couldn't wait to get here to tell Half Sac."

Opie started laughing. "Maybe we should call him the one nut wonder now."

Lila went and got my cut out the car. "Here Jax is your cut. Gemma had it repaired for you." I just looked at her but didn't know if I wanted it or not. She held it out to me. "Aren't you going to put it on?"

"Maybe later."

Opie asked Lila to give us a minute. She took Abel and was gonna feed him.

"Happy is coming with guns and ammo for us. Juice and Koz are riding here under the radar. Clay doesn't know anything. They want to hear what you have to say but they're not making any promises. Did you work shit out with Bella? Is she gonna be a problem?" I told Opie she won't be a problem and as far as we go being together; who in the hell knows.

Happy brought us as many guns as he could and said their president, Chip, won't bend the rules for us. We have to come up with riders if we want sponsored by Tacoma. So we're still fucked even if Koz and Juice stay.

We were watching the Indian boys play football and Billy wanted to talk to me.

"I know who you are Jax and what you need." He looked over at the boys. "They can ride to get the numbers you need and what you want."

"I can't let them ride with us. They're just kids Billy and they will get themselves killed. They are big and can probably fight but these guys don't fuck around. We play some pretty hard street ball."

He called Sam over and he is kind of cocky. "We can play some street ball too. Why don't you let your boys come play with us? They can take care of themselves. Maybe we can help each other out."

I laughed to myself if they thought those kids could hang with us. But I did ask Sam what he wanted from me in return. He looked at Billy to answer my question.

"If Bella leaves with you then the Cullens will leave too. That's all we want is the Cullens to leave Forks."

When I asked him why, he basically told me it wasn't any of my fucken business. He wasn't asking me a bunch of questions so he wasn't gonna answer mine. I tried to be honest with them.

"I can't promise even if you help me that Bella will leave. I'm really not a part of her life anymore and I can't influence the decisions she makes."

"Son you have more influence over Bella than you think. You need to find your spirit within yourself again, to make you whole. Bella will walk with you." I had no idea what the fuck this old man was talking about.

When I talked to the other Sons they thought I had lost my goddamn mind and maybe I have. Happy was the worst one.

"Jax what the fuck, they're a bunch of punks. If they don't get themselves killed, then they will us."

Opie had a different opinion. "It's not a bad idea. They only have to make one ride and convince Tacoma. After that they come back here and we handle our own shit."

We decided to play against them but they didn't want me to cause of my shoulder and arm. I didn't want them to hurt the kids.

"You guys take it easy on them, they are just kids. Koz you quarterback."

There was an Indian girl that took the field in front of Happy. "Jax there is no fucken way I'm playing against a girl."

So I put Juice in his spot and told him he better not hurt her. After a few plays Juice came over to me holding his side.

"Do you think that you could tell her not to hurt me anymore? I think she broke something."

Sam trotted by us. "Awe did we hurt the little biker boys?"

The boys were laughing at us cause they were kicking our ass.

I finally called the game and we took a vote. Then Opie looked at me. "Call it pres." I couldn't believe I was gonna do this.

"I think we found our new riders."

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed reading me.**

 

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	18. Chapter 18

**BELLA POV**

Emmett and I got dressed to go downstairs for the family meeting. I wasn't excited Edward was here. This was just one more problem we would have to deal with.

Everyone was arguing at the table. It was all about me and Emmett. Rosalie and Edward were the ones arguing with everybody else.

Rosalie doesn't feel I am part of this family and my being around was only tearing it apart again. She thinks if I wasn't here then she and Emmett could be happy again. Everything that happened between them is being blamed on me right now by her.

"I guess it's my fault that you were fucking Joshua too. You could have been with Emmett but you didn't want to be. So why don't you stop blaming me for your mistakes and put the blame where it belongs; on yourself. I have already told him if he wants to work things out with you I will leave. I want him to be happy."

Edward was sitting there talking about Jax and Jacob like they were some piece of white trash. Talking real big about how they couldn't protect me and how I needed him. Passing judgment on them for being what they are. "

Don't you talk about Jax and Jacob like that. How dare you sit there and look down on them. You must get really lonely up on your pedestal looking down at everyone all the time. No one is ever as good as you are in your eyes and that includes me. They have been my lover, my friend and my savior when I've had nobody else to turn to. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't be here today."

Edward was upset because he feels Emmett betrayed him with me because he was his brother. I guess the way Edward betrayed me doesn't count for anything. He kept trying to make me be ashamed for being with Emmett.

"Edward, who I fuck,is none of your business. I love Emmett; he will always be in my heart. Even if he goes back to Rosalie; he will always be a part of me because that's just how shit is with me. If I had it all to do over again I would do it all the same way. So you can go fuck yourself."

Emmett took a hold of my hand and smiled at me. I am already tired of this shit and having to fight with them all the time.

Edward wasn't going to let it go but he should have. It was another fight between him and Emmett. One more time I have turned brother against brother. I went out to the back deck with everyone else. Peter was shaking his head .

"You know I just don't get it. I guess Edward likes getting his ass kicked. Maybe we should go stop it." He took off with Jasper to go find them.

When Emmett got back of course Carlisle was pissed that he beat Edward ass again. Emmett told him he thought it was best if we left because this was never going to change. Edward would continue to do whatever he wanted to do and Emmett would continue to kick his ass for it. Carlisle was trying to convenience him we needed to stay with the family and they treated all their children the same. But they don't. Emmett and Jasper get the worse part of it.

When Emmett and I got ready to leave Peter and Charlotte were waiting in the Jeep for us. "Hey you two didn't think you were going to get out of here without us did you? We're not Cullens and we don't fit in here for shit anyways. Besides they won't let me walk around in the nude. You're going to need help and it's almost time to fight. I gave you my word that I would be there. If I get to snap a few sexual position photos of you two on the way then that's just a sacrifice I am willing to make." I looked at Emmett and he just laughed.

Charlotte smacked him. "Pervert."

Peter was laughing. "That's why you married me baby."

Jasper told us he would see us tomorrow but Alice never came out. She has always been close to Edward and maybe she took his side. I guess even vampires have to decide which side is the most important to them when it comes to family.

I figured we would be staying in a hotel for the night but Emmett had already rented a little house on the outskirts of town. Nothing like any of the Cullens would want to stay in. It was small, simple and perfect. This was more of a home I would want to live in and where I could be myself.

Peter and Charlotte were going to go hunt or should I say hunt their way, humans. Emmett said he would hunt tomorrow. Emmett and I would have the night alone. Something we haven't had in a long time.

The house was already furnished and had food in the refrigerator and cabinets. When I asked him how long has he been renting it he told me since we got back from Charming.

"I went and found somewhere for us to go to get away from everybody. But I didn't know if it was what you wanted too. Everything has been kind of up in the air about us and I wasn't sure about…."

I waited but I can already finish the sentence for him "You weren't sure about us because of Jax."

We had a long talk about Jax and how Emmett felt "I have been trying really hard to be patient and understanding about Jackson. But do you know how hard it is for me to watch you be around him? You spend a lot of time with him and I am never sure if you will come back or not. I don't want to be jealous but, I am. That instinct to protect and claim what is mine is becoming harder for me to fight. After you slept with him I wanted to kill him. The only reason I didn't was because I don't want to hurt you."

We are always totally honest with one another and that is something I love about Emmett. He has that way about him of still making you feel loved and reprimanding you at the same time. But it was my turn to be honest.

"I know how hard it is for you to be around Jax. It's probably the same way I feel around the beauty queen. She is in my face every day and is always touching you or rubbing up on you. I don't say anything to her because you don't. I know you were mad Jax took your bike. It was wrong and he shouldn't have done it. But Rosalie gave him the key. She let him leave when she was supposed to be protecting him. But you never said a word to her about it. You spend just as much time with Rosalie as I do with Jax. If she needed you, I know that you would be there for her because that is the kind of man that you are."

He never brought up Rosalie or Jax again and looked deep in thought. So I decided to go find something to eat. Hell I couldn't even remember the last time I ate.

Mixing up brownie batter when Emmett came into the kitchen. He put his arms around me from behind.

"I'm sorry I never thought about how you felt having to be around Rosalie all the time. But I don't say anymore to her than I have to because I don't want to fight with her. That is part of the reason I wanted to leave the house tonight. I don't want to be around them. I want to be with you and have a life Bella. A relationship that is just between me and you."

He held an opened ring box in front of me. It was a huge heart shaped diamond with E &B engraved on each side of the heart on the gold band. "I bought this after our first date. When I saw it; it reminded me of the fireworks we watched together and how happy you were that night. I want us to be that happy all of the time. I know you're not ready for marriage but I want you to wear it as a symbol of our friendship. I will always be your friend and I love you."

I didn't want to accept it. He is a Cullen and I can only image how much it cost.

"If this only cost ten dollars would it mean as much to you?"

"Em it wouldn't matter if it was out of a bubble gum machine. It would mean the same thing to me because you gave it to me. It's just I'm a plain and simple girl. I don't have the money to buy you expensive gifts. I don't want you spending a bunch of money on me."

He told me that's why he loves me. I held out my hand and he put it on me. We started kissing and I wasn't sure if I should let things get out of hand with him or not.

Kissing my neck and whispering in my ear "We haven't been together for a while. I want to don't you?" I wanted to but I feel wrong no matter which one of them I'm with anymore.

Emmett dipped his finger in the brownie batter and held it up to my mouth "Em this…"

He started rubbing the batter over my lips and he was licking it off slowly. He kept running his tongue across my lips wanting them to part. When I did he was running his tongue around the inside of my mouth. But he started sucking my tongue slowly in and out of his mouth and I was gone.

He stuck his hand in batter this time and was running his fingers from my collar bone down to my breast. The batter was everywhere on the counter, the floor and my tank top. He licked it off of me with his very talented tongue.

I took a hold of his hand and brought it up to my mouth. Licking and sucking his fingers clean.

"Baby I know where I'm going to put some next."

When he stuck his hand back in bowl, I stopped him. I unbuttoned his pants and pulled down his boxers. I put my hand in the bowl and had a hand full. I started stroking his cock in my hand. The batter was running down to his balls and his leg.

Emmett leaned up against the counter and I went to my knees on the floor. The batter that was dripping from the tip of his cock, I let fall into my mouth. Licking it off just the tip and swirling my tongue around the head of his dick. I heard a loud snap and Emmett had a piece of the counter in his hand. He threw it over his shoulder.

He grabbed the bowl and poured the rest of mix on the floor. We rolled around in it together; made love until we were covered and so sticky.

"Em I think we really need to clean the kitchen."

He lifted his head off the floor "Yeah we do but I can't wait to see what we cook tomorrow night."

We showered and went to bed. I will worry about cleaning the kitchen up tomorrow.

**(****)**

Emmett woke me up and we made love again until the sun came up. He smiled so sweetly "Can we spend the day in bed together? Just you and me today."

"Now Em what would we do in bed all day? We just made love are you ready again?"

"I need a minute."

He looked away and then back at me.

"Okay I'm ready."

**JACKSONS POV**

We only had two days to teach these kids how to ride, shoot and walk it with us. I must have been crazy to think we could pull this kind of shit off.

Piney is bringing us bikes for them to use and it's gonna be a long day tomorrow. I'm grateful to them but I don't think Tacoma is gonna buy into this crazy shit.

Lila and Cherry were gonna get their cuts ready. We're using the reaper on theirs too, just like ours. We need them to look different but the same as us so instead of SOA in the crystal ball; Jacob's tat would be their symbol. We even let them vote on it. They thought they were some cool shit. They wanted to know if they could keep them after they were done.

"You guys can keep the cuts and the bikes for what you're doing for us."

Bella didn't come back today like she said she would. When I called her; something came up last minute. She said she would be here tomorrow but I don't look for her to come. I already knew she was starting to distance herself from me and it's only a matter of time now.

**(****)**

Piney brought four Dyna Glides and my bike. Jacob was a natural. Embry didn't do too bad but the others can't ride for shit. We all have to ride together as one. If one fucks up, it screws us all. We're gonna try to take them on a trial ride tonight as a group.

"Jacob when we ride together you will always stay on my right. Opie will always ride on my left. Well the others, I just hope they don't kill each other."

Juice was trying to teach Jared to talk shit "Okay talking shit is insulting with an attitude. Let's use your shirt as an example. That shirt makes you look so gay it should have fag wrote on the back of it pussy. Now you try."

"It's a good thing you shave your head or Leah would use it to drag you around like the little dickless pussy ass biker boy you are. She has stomped your ass all day long in everything we've done and I bet you can't even find your balls now." Jared looked over at me and he was so proud of himself.

Juice walked off. "Now you're just being hurtful."

Shaking my head "Kids."

We went back to the house so the kids could eat again. The Jeep was parked in front of Jacob's house and I was surprised Bella actually came.

When we walked in I could hear Bella's voice coming from the back bedroom.

"Happy you have to stop."

"Dammit Bella lay still you wanted me to do this to you now you take it."

Handing Abel to Lila. Opie was trying to stop me from going back there.

"Jax she doesn't belong to you anymore."

"The hell she doesn't."

When I opened the door Happy stopped "Jax will you tell her it hurts worse when I fuck up a tat and have to fix it. Stop squirming around Bella I'm almost done. Jax man you all right?"

"Yeah I'm good man. I'll let you guys get back at it." I was ashamed for what I thought she was doing with Happy. I tell myself I can keep my head and think it through, but I was ready to fight him for touching her. Even though I don't have that right anymore. I still think of her as mine.

I took Abel out to the beach and sat him down in the sand next to me. Sue had given me a box of toys for him and he loved the plastic shovel. He never got much sand in it but it fascinated the hell out of him.

It had been a while since I opened JT journal. With everything that's happened I needed to feel close to him and this is the only way I have to do ot. With Abel here getting my shit figured out had never been more important.

* * *

_**.** _

_**Eisenstein once said any** _

_**intelligent fool can make** _

_**things bigger more complexed** _

_**and more violent. But it takes a** _

_**touch of genius and lots of** _

_**courage to move something in** _

_**the opposite direction.** _

_**.** _

_**I am realizing that my touch of** _

_**courage and my touch of genius** _

_**are coming too little too late.** _

_**I fear SAMCRO may never be** _

_**able to move in the opposite** _

_**direction.** _

.

* * *

I've been putting out the fires as they come from the club. But the fire I started with dividing brothers I'm not sure I know how to put out or contain it. My shit came too little too late just like JT.

Bella came out and was playing with Abel. It was tearing me up watching the two of them together cause I know she's just gonna leave us and go back to him. But when I didn't know if Abel was gonna make it when he was first born; getting to hold him for five more minutes of time was precious to me. My time with Bella is no different.

She did surprise the hell out of me with getting a tat.

"What were you thinking getting a tat? It doesn't seem like something you would do."

"Don't you even want to see it?"

I moved her hair and pulled her shirt back so I could see what Happy put on her left shoulder.

* * *

_**I'm a lover of heated passion &** _

_**cooled desires together both my** _

_**fire & my ice complete my world.** _

_**I'll always carry them with me.** _

_**Lovers, Friends, Saviors** _

_**Jackson Emmett Jacob** _

* * *

"Bella which one am I?" She told me I had been all three in her life and she would always love me. She's went past the point of ripping my heart out, now she's just fucken playing with it.

I've been sitting here on a log staring at the sand for the last hour. They're waiting for me to put my cut on and ride with them.

Bella had my cut in her hand "Jax they're waiting on you to ride. They seem to think your all twisted up inside and I'm the only one who can reach you. It's time to put it on." She is the only one that's ever reached me.

"I am spun out right now and I don't know if I can wear it anymore."

"If you can't put it on then it's time to walk away from all of it. Take a different path leave the club and don't take your vengeance against Clay. If you can't live with that then put it on and go be the man they need you to be."

"What if I don't know how?"

"That cut doesn't mean anything. It's just a piece of leather. It doesn't change the man you are or the man that you want to be. You're the only one that can lead them and stop Clay from hurting anyone else. I had Lila add a patch to your cut. When you have it on you will be carrying me with you. I know you will have to take it off later but I wanted to be with you on your first ride with them." She added her tat; Lover, Friend, Savior.

I put my cut on. I'm wearing it as a reminder of the man I wanna be and not the man that I once was. I never thought any woman would ever be strong enough to walk by my side. Then Bella came into my life and I wonder if I am man enough to walk by hers.

I walked her to the Jeep and hated she had to go; even more she wouldn't be here when I got back. I hugged her good bye "Thank you for everything."

I got on my bike "It's time to ride."

They didn't do too bad for their first time. But they still need a shit load of work. We stopped to take a break and feed them. Man those boys can really eat.

Happy hung up his cell "Jax we've gotta a problem. The words out about the Sons split. Chip and Quinn wanna see Clay's daughter. She's gotta go on the run with us man."

I've already been too much of a burden in Bella's life. "Then it's over, I'm not asking her to do that. I've fucked up her life enough. She doesn't need to get in any deeper with us."

"Does it got anything to do with the big rock that Emmett put on Bella's finger? I overheard Lila and Cherry talking about it."

Happy looked at Juice "Shit head, what the fuck?"

Juice shrugged his shoulder "What?...oh man….…I'm sorry Jax I thought you knew."

Just one more thing that everybody knew before me.

"What are you guys talking about? I didn't see her have a ring on today. Is Bella gonna marrying him?"

They all just looked at each other but didn't answer me. So I took it as a yes. Emmett maybe the better choice for her but it didn't hurt me any less.

They all wanna know where I was gonna go. But Opie already knew "He's gonna stir up some shit. Jax wait up."

"Op I've gotta do this bro. I need to find her and hear it from her."

I went to the Cullens and the blond bitch was outside on the porch "Bella is not here Jackson. She moved out with Emmett so they could be alone and start their new life together. The time has come for you to handle your problems with Emmett or you will lose her forever. I really don't think you want that to happen now do you?" She handed me a piece of paper with an address on it.

Emmett was outside getting ready to ride when I pulled my bike up right next to his. He didn't look happy to see me.

"Bella is not here."

I got off my bike and put my foot on the front fender of his "I'm not leaving, I'll wait. You go ahead and leave though. You didn't seem to mind sneaking over to my house to fuck her anytime you wanted to. Maybe I should return the favor."

Emmett was gripping the handles on his bike hard "I have tried to be nice because of Bella. But my patients are starting to wear thin with you. So take your goddamn foot off my bike or I will take it off for you."

I smirked at him "Bring it. I think it's time we settle our shit."

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed reading me.**


	19. Chapter 19

**BELLA POV**

By the time I got up Emmett was already gone. He left a note he had went to hunt. I went down stairs to clean the kitchen up from the mess we made yesterday. It was clean when I walked in and the coffee was already made in the pot.

Charlotte was washing the dirty dishes in the sink.

"Morning doll want some coffee?"

"Yes please and thank you for cleaning up my mess."

"It looked like you two had a hell of party while we were gone. Peter was upset with Emmett because he didn't record it or at least take pictures. But I do have one question for you."

She went over and tried to open the refrigerator door. It was only held on by one hinge.

"I get how the counter got broke and even the door off the cabinet. But how in the hell did you break the refrigerator?"

My face was feeling the heat coming up to the surface ."I'm not sure but I think that Emmett grabbed a hold of the door and well…"

"That boy just doesn't know his own strength sometimes."

I had never sat and talked to Charlotte before but she was really sweet. She asked about Jax and how he was doing. She said he had showed her pictures of Abel and he was so proud of him. I asked her if she ever wished she had kids or if it really mattered to her.

"You do know who I am married to right. I think Peter covers the child department for me. But I guess I never thought about having children because you can't miss out on something you've never had any experience with."

**(***********)**

After I got back from seeing Jax; Emmett and Peter wasn't back yet. Charlotte said she wanted to go into town and I wanted to get away for a while too.

We went window shopping. I liked it better than shopping with Alice. We only went into a store when we wanted to buy something. I found a cute short blue and white sundress. I had the need to be girly today; I've been running around looking like hell lately. So Char and I picked out shoes and accessories to go with it. We even went and had our makeup done. Not that she even needs makeup to be pretty.

Emmett called and said he would be back soon. I ate and enjoyed my time with Charlotte. I don't see the connection between her and Peter. It's like they are from two different worlds. But she had to love him if she has stayed all these years with him.

"Sometimes two people who are different are what is best for each other. They're like a check and balance for the other one. Peter is not the same man he was when I met him. He saved me from being destroyed and gave up the only way of life he knew. I wasn't meant for him. I was created to be with someone else. So we went on the run together and never looked back. The man everyone else sees and the man I know are two different ones."

It was a pleasant afternoon spent with Charlotte but I was ready to go home. That was until we got back to the house. There were vampires and bikers all over the yard. Peter and Jasper had a hold of Emmett and he was yelling at Jax.

"Maybe you should keep your fucking mouth shut little man before I whip your ass."

Happy and Opie had Jax. He was screaming right back at Emmett.

"You're a piece of shit. You couldn't leave her alone could you? So fuck you."

I listened to them yelling at each other until I couldn't take it anymore.

"Everybody shut the fuck up. What in the hell is going on?"

Neither one of them said a word. So I went to Jax first.

"What are all of you doing here? How did you know where I was?"

"His ex-old lady hates him as much as I do cause she gave me the address. The rest came cause they know how pissed I am right now." Rosalie was always so resourceful.

Trying to calm Emmett down because I know what he could do to Jax but he was enraged. This was a side I had never really seen of Emmett before.

"Emmett please don't do anything to hurt him. You know he can't defend himself against you."

Emmett yelled "Fine." He told Peter and Jasper to let go of him and they did. He went into the garage and I heard glass shatter. He was working his own shit out.

Emmett came back out of the garage with a minute. "I have to get out of here for a while. I'm going to go take care of my problem. Rosalie needs to know to leave us alone."

Then he looked over at Jax. "You need to handle your problem too. Peter and Jasper will be here if you need them." Then he kissed me good bye.

Jax told them to get off of him and they let him go. He came over picked up my hand.

"Why didn't you tell me? Do you like fucken with me? Is this shit a game to you?"

I tried to tell him it was a friendship ring that Emmett gave me but he wasn't listening to a word I was saying. I also told Jax he couldn't come here anymore, this was Emmett's home. I didn't want him to come while I was gone and Emmett to hurt him. If Jax knew what Emmett really was I don't think it would stop him anyways because it was the way he deals with shit.

Jax walked away and went to get on his bike.

"You don't have to worry about me coming here anymore. You won't do it so I'm gonna do it for you. I never loved you. You're just pussy to me and always have been."

So I yelled back at him. "You were just a swing dick with a label to me."

Jax threw his helmet across the yard.

"Goddamn it Bella. Why do you have to push me and try me every step of the way? You put my loyalty out there for the test and I keep coming back for more."

Opie told Jax it was time to go and wouldn't let him come back up where I was. I could hear Opie talking to him.

"They say a good old lady knows exactly what buttons to push to tear you apart and what to do to hold you together. Bella does a good job at both brother and that's just the way shit is."

Happy slapped Jax on the back.

"Come on Jax we'll find you something to kill and you'll feel better." I watched them all ride away and I just wanted to run away.

All this shit was my fault and I have caused this cluster fuck from hell. I was sitting out on the front porch smoking when Jasper came out and sat down beside me. He and I don't spend much time together but we have at least gotten comfortable around each other.

"Bella I know it's none of my business what you do. But Emmett is getting to the point he can't control it anymore. He is losing his temper and that is something I rarely see with him. I have had to make some of the same decisions you have to make. I am no one to give you advice. Love is supposed to conquer all but sometimes it has to divide it first." Maybe sometimes love wasn't enough to give a person and it takes more than that.

Jasper told me the story of him, Peter and Charlotte. Peter served by Jasper's side as his right hand man, the next in command. He said Peter was the only person he ever really trusted and had bonded with; he thought of him as his brother. Charlotte was turned by Jasper and was meant to be his mate. But Charlotte got close to Peter instead and they fell in love.

"We competed for her affection for a while but it became more obvious to everyone she was his. Out of hate and spite I was going to destroy her to show him I was superior to him. But he ran with her and I didn't see them for many years. It took me a long time to get over the feeling of the betrayal by Peter. I didn't really have any true feelings for Charlotte; it was just jealousy of the heart. Life doesn't always work out the way we think it should. But most of the time it usually works out the way it's supposed to."

Emmett sent me a text to meet him at the Cullens. The handling of his problem was probably going as well as it did with Jax. I thanked Jasper for talking to me and told him I had to go meet Emmett.

"Well you know what Curtis Cullen would say in this situation. Go work your shit out with Emmett."

"Yeah he would.

**ROSALIES POV**

When Emmett arrived at the house he was angry like I thought he would. But the bitch came back before he could handle the problem with Jackson. I knew it would send Emmett over the edge when I sent him over there. I was hoping Emmett would kill Jackson. Bella would be out of the picture forever. She would have never forgiven Emmett for hurting her little precious human boy. But once again my plans had been spoiled by her.

I tried to reason with him and then I tried seduction. But since neither one worked I had to switch gears.

"When you were gone hunting, I overheard Bella and Jackson talking. They are only using you until he gets better. Then she is leaving with him. She loves him more than you and you're to blind to see it. I know she is sleeping with both of you. He has the one thing she can't turn her back on, Abel."

Emmett didn't want to believe it but I pushed him until he went into a fit of rage and left. I just hoped Bella got to feel the rage and anger he had for me right now.

When he came in he had tossed his jacket on the couch and I found his cell phone. So I sent a text to the little bitch. She would think it was from Emmett and she will come.

When I heard the front door open I gave the performance of my life.

"Oh god, fuck me harder."

He grabbed my hips and I was rocking back and forth on his cock as fast as I could.

Bella was standing at our bedroom door and she pushed the door open slightly.

"That's it big man; keep fucking me. I love you so much Emmett."

I heard her sobbing and shutting the front door. I got out of bed and went over to the window. I watched her drive away crying her little eyes out.

He came over and put his arms around my waist.

"Do you think Bella bought it?"

"Of course she did. She didn't see your face or body. She only saw I was on top of someone. Someone she believes is Emmett. But I want to make sure you and I are clear on our little arrangement. As soon as they come and kill everyone; you will take Bella far away from here. She is to never be around Emmett or the family again."

He was kissing down my neck. "Of course, that is what we agreed upon. You get Emmett back and I get Bella."

I do and don't trust him when it comes to the little bitch.

"Don't forget to tell Victoria again, no harm is to come to Abel. Once they kill Jackson and the rest of the Sons. I will have everything I want; my husband and my baby, Abel. We can be a real family together."

"No harm will come to Abel or Bella."

"Of course Edward." I couldn't let Bella live. Even after Jackson was gone she would want Abel as her child. Jackson had no real family now other than the bikers who would be with him. So when they take all of the biker trash out, I would rush in to save Abel.

With Bella still breathing there would always be the chance Emmett would want to be with her. So by eliminating her, all my problems were solved.

"Tell Victoria to start thinking about the decision we discussed so Alice can see it."

"Okay but first there is something that you need to do for me." I want this over with soon. I was already tired of having to fuck Edward all the time.

**BELLAS POV**

When I left the Cullens and thought about everything wrong I had done to Emmett and Jax. It was time to let them both go and for me to move on. My trying to love them both had only hurt them in so many ways. It also had made a mess out of my own life too.

Emmett was with Rosalie now and he would never hurt me on purpose. What he did with her I deserve because I've done it to him. By my not being around it would give them a chance to work things out. They could be husband and wife again. Maybe even find their happiness together.

I waited for Emmett to come back to the house. I knew what I had to do but it wasn't making it any easier for me. He was such a good man and I have always felt like he deserved more than me. Now I know I was right.

I was setting at the kitchen table when Emmett came in the back door.

"Hey where's your bike?"

"I left it over there at the house. I'll pick it up tomorrow. I went for a run and did some thinking. Bella I am sorry for losing my cool with Jackson. But I love you so much and I don't want to lose you to him."

"Well it's too late for that. I am leaving with Jax and Abel. That's where I belong with a normal human man."

The look on his face was breaking my heart. But I had to be strong for the both of us.

"Bella what are you talking about? You can't leave. Who is going to protect you from Victoria? You know Jackson can't protect you from her. Please just stay with me and we'll work on our relationship. I know I'm not a human man but that doesn't mean I love you any less than he does."

Taking the ring off he gave me and laid it on the table.

"I don't need you to protect me. I have Jacob and the others wolves. They're the ones who protected me when you and your family just took off and left me behind before. But I am leaving and I do love Jax. I am Abel's mommy. Jax and I can have more children together. You know that I can never have that with you." I know it was a horrible thing to say to him but I had to. Emmett had to let me go too.

I called Lila to see if she would come and pick me up. Emmett came outside and was telling me he loved me. But I had a mask of truth too. I just don't wear it as well as the rest did.

Before I got in the car I kissed Emmett on the cheek. "I will always be your friend. Go home and try to work things out with your wife." He gave me back the ring and told me he bought it for me.

Lila asked several times what was going on but I just wanted to leave. I asked her to drop me off at the bus station. I thought about going to see Renee. But hell, I guess it doesn't matter where I go really.

But she was driving towards the Reservation and I kept asking her why.

"Bella the club needs you to ride to Tacoma with them or they are not going to get sponsored. Jax made the guys promise not to tell you about it. But he didn't make me promise. He is just hurt right now. But he needs you and is too stubborn to ask." I knew Jax was hurt just like Emmett was. But I won't let him down. I can ride along with Lila in the car make an appearance and leave from there to go where ever I am going.

When we got out of the car Jax was outside with Jared in the yard.

"Bella you're here, so that must mean daddy's little trust fund is busy tonight. Or you wouldn't have had time to come see me." I just ignored him and walked down the beach. I wanted to be alone.

I set and watched the waves splashing around for a long time and still really didn't come to any definite conclusions in my life.

When I went inside Jax was asleep on the couch holding Abel. I covered them up and curled up in Billy's recliner. I sat there watching them sleep.

**TACOMA CHARTER POV**

As theywere walking into Tacoma's clubhouse Jax put his arm around Bella. "Just remember everything I taught you. If they ask you about club business you don't know nothing. They have to think you're my old lady so I need you to pretend to love me for about an hour then you can go home to him."

The wolves were doing a great job convincing Tacoma that they were going to be a part of the new charters crew.

Everyone seemed to like Bella and kept telling Jax how lucky he was to have her as his old lady. Jax had the mask on of showing them what they wanted to see. But deep down it was killing him knowing after this meeting was over Bella would be gone out of his life forever. He even thought about begging her for another chance but he figured it wouldn't do any good anyway.

It was time to start their meeting. Everyone, including Bella was asked to join them in their chapel to hold church.

Quinn started the meeting by asking Jackson if the rumors they had heard about were true. They had heard Clay was doing some questionable deals that are strictly against their own outlaw code. Jax knew better than to rat Clay out.

"Quinn man I don't know what Clay is doing. I'm not a part of it anymore. He stripped me of my VP patch."

Quinn smiled because he didn't think that Jax would give Clay up but he had to ask the question. He asked everyone who came for this meeting what they knew. Of course they knew nothing either.

The Tacoma charter has great concerns on Clay and Jax's issues. If the rumors turn out to be true and the mother charter was involved in drugs; it would only be a matter of time until they would expected to follow.

Quinn and his VP Chip asked everyone to leave the room except for Bella. Jax wasn't leaving. He didn't see a need for them to talk to just her. But Bella told him it would be fine. Jax knows that Bella had walked it enough with him she should be able to handle it but he didn't want her to have to do that for him.

Jax and the guys were standing outside getting anncey about how long they had been in there talking to Bella. Chip came outside and asked just Jax to come in and join them.

Jax went in a sat down at the table. Quinn explained what had transpired in his absences.

"Jackson you know the rules. We can only sponsor a new Sons charter that has been approved by the mother charter, Clay. So we have come up with a solution to help all involved."

After all the details were explained and laid out. Jax was pissed and told him there was no way in hell that he would let that happen. Bella kissed Jax very passionately.

"You're my old man and I will always be by your side whenever you need me. We can do this together." Jax knew in his heart she was right. He needed her and together with her; he could do anything.

Quinn told Jax to bring in his crew. They would do the traditional ceremony and then explain it all to them. Then they could have their own vote to see if this was what they wanted to do this or walk away.

Jackson Teller's crew stood proudly behind him. He had his old lady Bella at his side. They brought out the black leather cut to put on the table to symbolize their patch over of brotherhood.

Quinn got up to paint the symbol on the wall. Only the president gets to do this. He picked up the can of blue spray paint and painted DOA.

Everyone stood there looking at each other not sure what the hell was going on. Juice whispered to Opie. "Doesn't DOA stand for dead on arrival?"

Jax told his guys they needed to listen up. Quinn came up with the idea of sponsoring the DAUGHTERS OF ANARCHY. He himself only had daughters as children and no one to pass on his own legacy on to. One of his daughters was an accountant and she won't even speak to him. She hates everything about him and what the club stands for. But his other daughter was just like him but can't be a part of the club. Bella was going to pave the way of change if she could stand up to the test and succeeded.

Also there was no way in hell any of them were going to get into carrying or dealing drugs. They know it will be the fall of all the charters of SAMCRO. Quinn knows by Jax taking the new charter on that confrontation with Clay would come. He was hoping Jax was strong enough to lead and conquer because his own club depended on it too.

Jax told them all he would understand if they wanted to walk. He would give them an out without repercussions. But they all voted to stay and play it out with him. Even the wolves voted yes.

Jax told Quinn they were in. Quinn picked up his gavel.

"Today Tacoma sponsors the temporary charter, Daughters of Anarchy of Forks Washington. I'm presenting the new king and queen; Jackson and Isabella." Then Quinn banged his gavel. Today history was rewritten within those walls.

But there was one final thing. They had to prove their patch at the annual run. Bella didn't understand what that was. So Jax explained it to her "The annual run is when all the charters get together and it's hosted by the mother charter, Clay."

They walked out into the clubhouse to do the traditional shot as one together. Jackson and Isabella were standing in the middle of every one hand and hand. Jackson raised his glass up and they all said it in unison with him.

"Sons."

Bella raised her glass.

"And daughters."

**JASPERS POV**

Peter and I had been looking all day for Emmett. None of us still know what happened between Bella and him.

We finally found him sitting close to the treaty border. He was thinking really hard about crossing it to go after Bella.

Emmett saw us coming. "Just go home, I'm fine. I want to be alone right now." It was sad for me seeing my brother this way. A huge strong vampire that was so weak.

We weren't going to leave so we kept asking Emmett what happened. All he could tell us was when he came home Bella told him that she didn't love him anymore and she left him for Jackson.

That wasn't making any sense to me because I sat and talked with Bella. I felt all the love that she had for Emmett. I asked him what happened when they met over at our house.

"I never met Bella at your house what are you talking about?" I told him that I saw the text he had sent. She had left to go meet him there.

Emmett was up on his feet tearing up everything around him he could get his hands on.

He screamed. "That bitch."

Emmett took off running.

"I have to go find Bella."

* * *

I **hope you enjoyed reading me!**


	20. Chapter 20

**JACKSONS POV**

I woke up in a sweat just like I have been doing every night for the last couple of weeks. I tried to go back to sleep but I couldn't. I've been having the same dream or I guess you would call it a nightmare every night.

Bella has always said I was at the crossroad of hell and she's right. Every time I have this dream it progresses a little more. I am flying down the highway and it ends out of nowhere. I can only turn left or right. On the left side is my mom and the club. On the right Bella is holding Abel. I've turned both directions over and over. I die each time no matter what I do. I'm not sure if it's my love for the club, Bella and Abel or the road but I know one of them is gonna get me yet.

Being in an empty hotel room was only making it worse on me. I didn't wanna let the kids ride back in the dark so we stayed here. I couldn't get up the courage to ask Bella if she would wanna talk or not. Abel was having fun with the kids so he did his first sleep over with Op's kids.

I went and started the shower while I finished my toke. I made the water as cold as I could take it to try to cool my body down. When I got out, I laid down on the bed. I stared up at the ceiling for I don't know how long.

Looking over at the clock and considering its 2:00 a.m., I'm wide awake. I got up and got dressed. I promised Bella that I would let her go but I can't. I know she's probably asleep but I didn't care.

I passed Sac and Cherry sitting outside on the way to Bella's room. Cherry said it in passing as I walked on by them "It's about time you went and got your woman." They all feel that we're the perfect couple and right for each other in every way, except Bella that is.

I knocked on the door and she didn't answer. So I fucken banged on the door until she did. I swallowed a lot more than the saliva in my mouth to get this out "Wanna go get some coffee or take a ride with me?"

Bella looked over at the clock "Jaxs it's the middle of the night. Is there something wrong?" I shook my head no but she knows me to damn well.

She opened the door and gave me that smile that always seems to warm my soul "Come in and I'll get dressed. You can buy me breakfast." I sat on the bed waiting on her to come out of the bathroom. I noticed that she felt getting dressed around me wasn't a good thing anymore.

We rode around and nothing was open yet. So we went for a long ride. Bella was shaking from the cool air but she wouldn't admit she was cold. A Dennys was open and she needed to get warm so that was the place we stopped at.

It was empty inside and I was kinda glad. I wanna talk about some shit and get it out in the open. I wasn't sure on how to approach her anymore. She walked by my side to save my ass today but, is that all we've got left now.

I get why she's with Emmett and not me. He's well educated and rich. He treats her good too. I see the way he looks at her, like she is the only woman for him. I know that look too well myself. If I've gotta loose her, I guess I'd pick him too "Bella how this gonna play out with Emmett? You're riding with me for a while. You'll only have to make appearances no different than before when you were pretending to be my old lady. I don't wanna let you go on some of this shit were gonna have to do because it's too dangerous. I sure as the hell don't wanna let the kids anywhere near it either." That hurt a lot more to say than I thought it would. I know this is all pretend but that's not how I wanna be with her.

She kept drinking her coffee and was trying to ignore the whole Emmett thing or she's not sure either. So I kept pushing her "Emmett won't be a problem. I told you I would always be by your side when you needed me. But I am curious about why you didn't tell Tacoma about all the things that Clay has done?Wouldn't they stand behind you if they knew he stole from the club and sold out the Sons for his own greed?"

This was gonna be the simplest thing that she and I've gotta talk about tonight "First I don't rat on a brother. Fucked up I know considering all the things Clay has done. But if I would've told them the truth, they would kill him themselves. That kill belongs to me."

She wasn't trying to talk me out of killing Clay but trying to rationalize that I'm a better man than that "No Bella, I'm not. He's taken so much away from me and I'm gonna take it all away from him now. One goddamn thing at a time till he's got nothing left for me to take, then I'll kill him." We've all lived by the sword in the club and now it's time for Clay to die by one.

Telling her my ideas of how to start taking Clay down. She understood everything I was saying and never had to ask why. I've shared everything with her. I don't wanna let her go but I can't keep holding on to nothing either "I can't even believe this shit is coming out my mouth. I want you to be happy Bella and have a good life. I know my shits upside down and being with me isn't like winning a big prize or anything. I've been bleeding all over you lately but I wanna see you happy. Emmett makes you happy and I wish you the best with him." Being the bigger man wasn't making me feel any better. I'm setting her free and she can go to him without my interfering with them anymore.

Her cell was lying on the table and I saw Emmett's name on the screen but she was ignoring him for some damn reason. I thought she only did that to me "Aren't you gonna answer him? I'll leave the table if you need privacy." She excused herself to go to the bathroom. She's crying but she wouldn't tell me why.

Checking her phone is a shitty thing for me to do but all's fair in love and war. I love her and if he's hurt her it will be war for that little prick. She had a lot missed calls and texts from him. By what he's sent she left him, but why?

I put her phone back down on the table. She came back and sat down but wasn't saying anything "You gonna tell me what's up with you and him?"

She didn't want to but I kept pushing her. Finding out she left him I wouldn't say made me happy but now the little prick knows how it feels "Emmett will have a better life with Rosalie than he ever could with me. I just want him to be happy just like I want you to be happy Jaxs. Emmett deserves more than I can ever give him and in so many ways my shit is upside down too. I never lied to him. I told him that I was in love with you and I also told him that I slept with you when I stayed on the reservation a couple of weeks ago. I'm not out to hurt either one of you and decided that I wasn't good enough for the both of you. I was leaving town when Lila picked me up but I stayed because you needed me." Yeah she's just as fucked up as I am.

I paid the bill and we left. The sun was coming up cause we sat and talked so long. This is one of the things I've missed about Bella being gone. I've never been comfortable enough with nobody to open up to them let alone a woman.

When we got back everybody was up and outside talking about what we were gonna do and when. They were ready to roll with this shit but there was something I had to do first "Sac give me your cut man."

Sac hesitated but took it off "That's cool if you guys don't want me riding anymore."

Lila handed Bella a leather cut. She stood there not knowing what to do with it. I whispered to her "Patch him in Pres."

Bella kissed Sac on the cheek "You may only have half a sac but you have a shit load of balls and you are a good man. Ride with pride along my old man's side cause your now a SOA member." Yeah my girl can talk the shit and I've seen her walk it too.

Then she kissed his other cheek "You're a temporary DOA rider too. I love you." Cherry was by her old man's side showing him how proud she was to be there with him. Sac touched her stomach and I wanna have that feeling of being loved like that so bad.

Jacob shoved Bella "Hey Loca where's my DOA rider love?" She hugged him back and they talked for a bit. I guess they worked out their shit too. Part of their problem was over the Cullens but they would never tell me what it's all about.

Jacob is such a bad ass in his own way and if he wasn't so young I would wanna make him my Sargent at Arms. He needs to get an education and try to make something of himself not follow in the footsteps of a dumb ass. They'll still need to appear at the run with us but he wants in the fight "Jacob you're too young. Bare knuckle fighting is rough man and you'll get fucked up. Tig can fight and takes pain. He'll hurt you and quick. He won't care that you're just a kid."

He keeps insisting that he can take care of himself. I think Sac and Happy can put some fear into him "I'll tell ya what if you can whip Sac or Hap ass, I'll let ya fight." I'm just hoping Jacob doesn't win cause then he'll be on the same path were on, going straight to hell.

But it was time for me to step up and take control of the show. I called our first official SOA/DOA meeting.

**SOA/DOA MEETING POV**

Their church was held sitting at picnic tables even though this was a long ways from what they were used to but everyone was ready to roll on. Happy saw Isabella set down "This is bullshit Jax she doesn't belong in this. She's gonna hurt and you know it."

Jackson knew this was the one time being his old lady didn't mean anything. Isabella was going to have to prove herself to the guys and he couldn't help her out "Hap were riding under her patch right now show the respect man. If it wasn't for her we'd be through."

Happy wasn't thrilled or sold on the idea of letting a woman participate or have a vote in club business but he knew what Jackson had said was true and this was their only play "Fine but if she gets hurt Jax it's on you." Jackson was taking full responsibility for everyone's wellbeing and their club success or failure. It's a heavy burden for one person to carry.

Jackson took the head of the picnic table with Isabella by his side "We're gonna have to keep Clay busy. We can't let him come after us or it's over. The number one rule is nothing happens in Charming so we cause shit in Charming. By now Clay has tapped another charter and has probably patched in more members than he lost. We hit and don't let up where it hurts the most. Blow up the gun supply warehouse. Cut his shit off with no stock to sell for cash."

Juice looked confused and kind of shocked at Jackson's plan "You want us to blow up our own guns? How is that productive Jaxs?" Juice had made a good point. To the club it's like cutting their dicks off and then wanting to use them later.

Jackson explained the full risky plan that he already had talked it over with Bella at breakfast "We're gonna take the guns sell them at fifty percent and get us some operating cash. Blowing up the ware house will do three things to Clay; the first one is it'll send him a message that we're coming for him. Then the club is tapped no cash no stock to sell for cash. The Irish will be on his ass for payment or they want blood and my favorite part is the shit will be landing on his door step. It'll keep them so busy that they won't have time for retaliation on us. It'll give us time to make it to the annual run and then Clay can't stop us." This was a very risky plan because if one thing goes wrong the new club will crumble and fast. At the annual run Jackson and Isabella will introduced to all the charters as the new King and Queen. There is nothing that Clay can do about it after that.

Everyone knew what Sac was about to say but he said the obvious anyways "Clay will be riding four D for us. We only have a few riders so how in the hell is that gonna work?"

Happy got that look on his face that earned him the name killer "Then we'll ride five D stop being a pussy." Out of all the outlaws setting at that table Happy is the most predictable one for killing and never looking back. He lives his life on the edge and never has any regrets of it.

Jackson knew that they all had the right to be concerned but he didn't care "I don't give a shit if I've gotta start war on Main Street in Charming I'm going after Clay and anybody that gets in my way." This is the outlaw in Jackson that came to the surface and he meant what he said.

This meant that there was a possibility that it would be brother against brother at some point in this fight "If you guys can't fight against other Sons then you need to walk now. No judgment will be passed and no repercussions will be given to you. Cause when the time comes there is no backing down even if it's Bobby or Chibs we've gotta fight it doesn't matter they chose their side. We have so much talent setting at this table right now that we can do anything and put an end to this shit."

The vote was unanimous. The outlaws would be serving up justice to their own this time by the rules they all live and die by.

Jackson called the meeting "Juice get on the gangster hotline. I wanna meet Leroy and Lin this afternoon. Tell them if they tip off Clay I'll bring my party to their towns too."

Jackson was all outlaw right now unstoppable and unforgivable to anyone that crossed him or gets in his way. But Jackson is still different with only one person, Isabella. He needed her in every way you can think of. Then again Bella can only do so much with him when he's like this.

**JACKSONS POV**

Bella was going back to her room when I grabbed her by the waist "Come lay down with me. We don't have to do anything. I haven't been sleeping for shit and just wanna hold you for a while."

Needing some sleep I was undressing but she sat down on the bed "What's wrong Bella? Aren't you comfortable with me anymore?" I didn't want to ask but it was easier getting this shit out in the open too.

She wouldn't answer me. I crawled across the bed and put my hands on her shoulders. I was rubbing her back to get her to relax. She's done this for me a thousand times and it always comforts me "It's not that I'm uncomfortable with you Jax. Just because I'm not with Emmett anymore I don't want to run back to you and hurt you too. You probably won't believe this but some of the things I've done were to protect you and Abel not to hurt you. I don't want to hurt anymore either. So maybe we should just leave this as I'll be there when you need me. Put some distance between me and you. Look at all the things I have already done to you and Emmett."

Holding her as close to me as I could "You don't have to run to me Bella. I'm already here baby. You haven't done anything that we didn't let you do to us. I'm not exactly innocent in all this and I know how shit works. I don't care about Emmett but I still love you and wanna be with you. "

We lay on the bed with her head on my chest and talked for a long time. I was getting the feeling that there's something she's hiding from me. I never saw Bella as one that would have any dark secrets but the more she talked the stronger the feeling was. Just getting to hold her was enough for now.

Assuming that Bella would stay and would never leave, I didn't make a commitment to her but I thought she knew how I felt. Everything I'm gonna do or was doing was her and Abel to have a better life with me.

We kissed a few time and I thought about pushing it a little when Lila came for more diapers for Abel. It was Bella's idea for us to change him and feed him then put him in bed with us for a while. That makes me happy and upset at the same time cause if she leaves me again she's leaving him too.

Abel was lying in bed between us being one happy boy. He doesn't have a care in the world and doesn't know what hate means yet. Playing with his fingers and laughing then Bella blowing on his tummy making him laugh more "Bella fucken with my head is one thing but fucken with Abel's is another. You know how I feel about you and where's this gonna go? Are you leaving when we're done or are you staying? I know Emmett will wanna get back with you, are you gonna?" I've been trying to avoid some of this and roll with the moment but seeing Abel with her was too much for me.

She went to get up "I'm not trying to mess with your head Jax. I've left you alone and done what you have asked me to do for you. But you always call me or come back around me. The last person I would ever want to hurt is Abel. I have taken care of him like he is my own child. I've done things that I can't even tell you about to protect both of you from me."

Bella was getting dressed and I didn't wanna let her go. So I grabbed her in my arms and held on "You knew that I was with Emmett and that didn't stop you. I haven't exactly hidden that from you since the day I left your house. It only confuses me more when I'm around him then around you. I'm not saying the shit I've done is right because I know it's not. But the harder I try to let you or him go the more you both hold on to me. I love you both in different ways and I can't do right by two men. So I let Emmett go and want him to go work it out with his wife, that's where he belongs. When I went over to the Cullens he was in bed with Rosalie and I know that he is just doing what I did to him. I'm not mad at him just like I wasn't mad at you about the girl you had. I felt like I deserved what I got because I messed around with Emmett when I was still with you. No different than with Emmett. Jax he knew that I slept with you but still was there for me and loved me. Not saying he wasn't pissed at first but he still took me to find you that day. He's not the bad guy in all of this, I am. I let you go because….well I just did." My hate has all been aimed at Emmett cause I can't hate her.

Bella wasn't the only one that had done wrong I did too. Only the girl didn't mean anything to me where Emmett means something to her. I lost control of my personal life cause I was too concerned about club business and did nothing to stop her from leaving. Hell I told her to get out and she did. Her going straight to him was something I couldn't see through the anger and rage that I had. All I wanna do is make shit right and roll on.

Emmett was quick to get the ring on Bellas finger. That diamond cost more than I can earn in month even the clubs way. Material things never really seemed to matter to her and I've never seen her pass judgment on someone cause they had less. This is one of my own insecurities I guess I've got and needed to overcome.

I sat down on the bed and asked her to stay. Abel went back to sleep and I wanna talk shit through "I'm not exactly great at this relationship shit. I've never connected with nobody like I have with you. I've always had women falling at my feet. They beg me to let them hang with me cause of who I am and the cut I wear. Bella I've had so many women that I can't tell you how many. I use to think I was the shit until you came along. If I would've caught you two together before I found out; I would've killed you both cause that's how I am. When I found out that Emmett gave you a ring and you were gonna marry him I lost it. He took something away from me or hell maybe I gave it to him. I don't even know anymore. I just wanna get it back. I don't know how to get us past this or if that's what you wanna do." I put my heart out there in hopes that she doesn't shit on it. This isn't something that I'm use to doing. My weak side stays buried deep within and it's been eating at me.

We lay on the sides of Abel and held hands over his head. I watched him and Bella sleep until I couldn't stay awake anymore.

Sleeping better than I've done in weeks somebody was knocking on the door and woke us up. Juice set up the meeting and it was time to go. Bella wanted to go with me but I didn't think she should. But she was gonna be a part of it if I liked it or not.

The kids and Koz are riding back with Lila. She's keeping Abel for me along with all the other kids. Cherry was her ride along cause Sac doesn't want her on a bike being pregnant.

Bella grabbed my helmet and was waiting for me. They dressed her to kill in tight ass jeans and leather boots "I'm coming my Queen Isabella." We kissed in a passionate way for the first time in what seemed like forever.

Happy was getting impatient "Get your ass on your bike man. I wanna get this shit over with. You can fuck around with her when were done."

**GANASTER MEETINGS POV**

The Sons rode up with Jaxs in the lead. They were outnumbered with Lin's and Leroy's crew but this is supposed to be a friendly meeting of the minds. Jaxs made sure Bella was behind him and Opie when they walked up so if shit went down she wouldn't be in the line of fire.

Leroy nodded to his right hand man to back off and so did Lin to make this a more friendly setting. Opie, Sac Juice and Happy took their positions hanging back too.

Leroy wasn't sure what the fuck Jaxs wanted or was thinking by bring him and Lin to the same table. They are competition to one another. Leroy was the most curious "Easy rider rode a long way for this face to face."

Jackson and Isabella went to set down at the table. Lin and Leroy looked at one another not sure what the hell to make of his old lady coming to the table to discuss business. After Isabella sat down Leroy said what Lin was thinking too "Your bitch needs to step away so we can get down to business."

Jackson went to say something but Isabella stopped him. Then you heard the cocking of a gun under the table "I have a gun pointed at your dick right now. If you call me a bitch again I will use it. After I let you bleed out I'll be having this conversation with your second in command." Jackson smiled cause this is the Bella he knows and loves.

Happy shook his head "Oh fuck, I just hope she don't shoot Jax."

Their meeting began. The Mayans have been fighting both Lin and Leroy for territory. Their slowly taking them over and h traffic too. The slow economy even affects the heroine users, not enough territory to go around. Jackson was making them an offer. Buy guns at fifty percent of the price they would normal buy from the Sons.

Jackson explained that the Mayan had gotten into bed with Clay. Clay was running their product and selling their promised stocked to the Mayans. Fueling drug trafficking war with Lin and Leroy.

Lin and Leroy will get back their own territory back that they lost plus dividing up Mayan territory if they help Jackson and the DOA take the Sons back over. With Jackson setting as head of the table the Mayans would have to find another gun source and lose their ground fast without protection of the Sons drug running and the pipeline they provided.

Jackson explained why Isabella was there and what she had done for them. This situation was only temporary until Jackson gained control of the Sons again. All four of them agreed to help out each other until the conquering of the Mayans and Clay then it's back to a free for all again. No support given unless earned. Lin and Leroy will give muscle to Jackson when needed.

The Sons had one more gangster to convince then it was time to put their plan to take Clay down in motion.

Walking into a bar full of other leathers with only five crew members and a girl was some crazy shit but then again so is Jackson Teller. He is on a mission without mercy or any remorse.

They had to let everyone know they had a new King taking over for the Sons. Jackson had to show how strong his leadership is and he doesn't take shit from anybody.

They weren't going to let the Sons anywhere near Jamison even though the Sons just wanted to talk to him. Jackson wasn't taking no for an answer "What do I gotta do to have a meeting with Jamison?" His crew was amused at the Sons walking in their place without an invitation demanding to speak with their leader.

Jamison's boy Crane walked out into the bar "Sons have no business being here. You're far away from home boys and take a look around because the numbers aren't on your side. If you want to see Jamison your gonna have to get through my crew and I don't see that happenen."

Crane looked over at Isabella "I think your bitch would have better odds of making it through than you boys would. She could blow us all and I might think about it." His crew was laughing and making comments about Isabella.

Jackson put his bad boy mask on that no one sees through except Bella "You take a step near her and I will cut your fucken dicks off."

Jackson took his gun out and his knife. He laid them on the bar "Which bitch's ass do I have to whip first?" The other Sons followed their leader and were ready for a fight. Jackson hasn't fought since his shoulder operation but he didn't care. There was no backing down from this now.

They chose five on five at first. When the Sons were beating their crew senseless; Crane decided that he wasn't going to let the Sons disgrace his crew in his own establishment and he pulled his gun on them. The fight ceased and without their weapons it was no longer a fair fight. Crane was pointing his gun at Jackson "Get the fuck out while I'm still in the mood to let you walk out of here."

Isabella had a gun pointed at Cranes head "I think you underestimated the bitch. You broke the rules of the outlaws never take your eyes off of the enemy. We can stick to the plan or we can get bloody. I don't think anyone feels like clean up your brains from being scattered around the bar so why don't we see which crew is the strongest."

Crane lowered his gun and Isabella blew Jackson a kiss. It was time for her to watch Jackson be that bad mother fucker that he is. Even though she wasn't sure she has what it takes to pull the trigger, Crane didn't know that.

When it was only the Sons left standing they got their meeting with Jamison. They had reached an agreement with them but no more surprise drop in visits would be tolerated "If you keep your word Jackson, Harley will be getten all kinds of love from us. If you cross us you just made your biggest enemy."

As Jackson and Isabella was walking out the bar arm and arm Jackson was so proud of his girl "I've never been harder for you than I am right now baby."

Isabella laughed and she playfully shoved Jackson "Take me home."

He kissed her "Yes my Queen."

They others were discussing what went on today as Jackson and Isabella rode away. Opie asked Happy what he thought. Happy shook his head "Well she's got a set of tits on her I'll give her that. I say hail to the new goddamn Queen at least for now. But I still don't think she belongs in this shit. Jaxs is stronger with her but if she leaves it's gonna fuck his world."

Opie wasn't sure if this new found power between Jaxs and Bella was good or not "I guess if we see in the news tomorrow about a modern day Bonnie and Clyde we'll know they went on spree today together."

The others were going back to Forks but Jackson and Isabella had one more meeting to make before returning. They were setting up Clay for the annual run.

**BELLAS POV**

We went back to Jax room and he was taking a shower. On the desk was his notebook that he's been writing in. I know I shouldn't look but something is up with him and he won't tell me. He been talking like he isn't going to make it through all of this.

Jaxs asked me if something happened to him would I take Abel even if I was with Emmett. Jax feels that Emmett would be a good father to Abel even though Jaxs hates him. I couldn't tell Jax that Emmett could never raise a human child, he never ages and the child would know. But I would make it all work somehow if I have too. Jax made me promise that I wouldn't let Abel anywhere near Gemma and never let Abel forget about him. I don't know how in the hell I could keep her away but I'll do what I have to do.

* * *

_**Entry-4** _

_**.** _

_**I never thought about life** _

_**outside the club or that there** _

_**was one. But I've seen it; it's** _

_**normal and simple. I wished** _

_**for that more than anything today.** _

_**To be a normal man and have the** _

_**white picket fence dream. I wanna** _

_**have all that goes with it but not** _

_**sure that I'm the kind of man that** _

_**deserves it. It's like looking** _

_**through rose colored glasses** _

_**almost.** _

_**.** _

_**But with the club there is no** _

_**simple and the only colors** _

_**important are black and white,** _

_**green and red. Black and white** _

_**is the decisions we make. We've** _

_**become the judge, jury and** _

_**executioner. We've played god with** _

_**a lot shit. Red is of course the blood** _

_**we continue to spill. We've ended** _

_**more of the simple life then** _

_**cherishing anything about living it.** _

_**.** _

_**Green is why we've become like this** _

_**in the first place. We earn by killing** _

_**and taking whatever we want. I've** _

_**struggled more with this shit in the** _

_**last four months cause I never** _

_**saw it before. Don't ever forget** _

_**about the simple things in life and** _

_**loose focus.** _

_**.** _

_**.** _

_**Entry-5** _

_**.** _

_**I've forgotten about the simply** _

_**things. When I was young all that** _

_**mattered was the ride. Feeling the** _

_**freedom of flying down the highway** _

_**and all that goes with it.** _

_**.** _

_**No rider should ever forget that** _

_**feeling cause when you do; you forget** _

_**what's important and what makes it** _

_**who you are. I been so lost on this** _

_**shit of who I am. I'm struggling on** _

_**a fucked up journey to get right** _

_**with myself. But the one place I'm** _

_**never lost is the road.** _

_**.** _

_**I've never been more committed since** _

_**you were born and never been** _

_**more focused on living life than** _

_**taking it away. I'm gonna do somethings** _

_**that when you grow up I won't** _

_**wanna admit too. But I want you** _

_**know no matter how bad of man** _

_**that I'm made out to be by others,** _

_**everything I've done is for you and** _

_**Bella. For us to have a better life.** _

_**.** _

_**.** _

_**Entry-6** _

_**I can't wait until you have your** _

_**first ride. Feeling the steel horse** _

_**between your legs, the engine roar** _

_**will become the most comforting** _

_**sound to you. There isn't anything** _

_**that compares to it. Becoming one** _

_**with your bike and the road is** _

_**just the first step. When you respect** _

_**it as much as you love it; that's when** _

_**you can say you're a biker. The** _

_**rode will become your true home.** _

_**.** _

_**I just hope I get to live long enough** _

_**to see you take that ride. But if I** _

_**don't remember these words and me** _

_**when you do. Cause club or no** _

_**club; I live for the ride. Won't stop** _

_**till I'm six feet under.** _

_**.** _

_**.** _

_**Entry-7** _

_**.** _

_**I've been so alone lately. You can be** _

_**in a room full of people but if nobody** _

_**really cares about you you're still all** _

_**alone. I'm searching for something** _

_**but I've got no fucken clue what it is.** _

_**I've thought about running away** _

_**from everything but I don't wanna be** _

_**a coward.** _

_**.** _

_**Staying is just as much of a fucked up** _

_**choice too. I'm getting myself in so** _

_**deep with all this shit and I can't** _

_**find my way out. Just know that I** _

_**love you and being your father is the** _

_**most proud thing that I have to** _

_**show for in my life.** _

_**.** _

_**.** _

_I heard Jax turn off the shower so I flipped to the back of his notebook and the entry wasn't finished._

_**.** _

_**Entry** _

_**.** _

_**What is love?** _

_**Hell Abel I don't know the answer.** _

_**I think love is supposed to break all** _

_**the rules.** _

_**Maybe when you grow up you can** _

_**explain it to me son.** _

_**I can't remember ever having a** _

_**real date.** _

.

* * *

Jax has never went out on real date before and after thinking about the time we were together I couldn't remember us going out on one either. I think I need to change that.

I'm staying in Jax room tonight with him. He won't push for anything more from me than I'm willing to give. I went to get my stuff from the room while Jaxs went to check out so we didn't have to pay for it again.

When I opened the door Emmett was sit on the bed "What are you doing here?"

Those golden eyes were looked so sad as they looked at me "What did Rosalie tell you?"

Shutting the door so that Jax wouldn't walking in or hear this conversation "She didn't have to tell me anything. I saw you with her." He acted as though he had no idea what I was talking about.

I went and sat down on the bed beside him "We don't have to do this Emmett. I saw you with her in bed. I'm the one person that you never have to lie to and I have no right to be mad because of the things that I have done. That's why I left so that you could work it out with her. With me around it's just making things more complicated than they needed to be. I told you I would never stand in the way of your happiness and I meant that."

Emmett swore to me it wasn't him with Rosalie and that he didn't even know a text was sent for me to meet him until after I had gone "Bella none of this makes sense. The only other person there was… Fuck I think I'm getting it now." I'm glad he was because I still had no clue.

A knocking on the door interrupted our conversation "It's Jax and he'll want to come in."

Emmett looked straight forward and wasn't caving in this time "Then I guess you better answer it and let him in. Bella it's time to make a choice."

I went over to the door and open it a little hoping we weren't going to have to do this right now "Hey is everything okay? You've been…." Jax stopped when he pushed the door open and saw Emmett.

Jaxs was pissed to say the least "This is club business and you don't belong here."

Emmett stood up "I don't give a shit."

Taking in a deep breath because it is time.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed reading me.**


	21. Chapter 21

**BELLAS POV**

Jax and Emmett went outside for just a talk as they told me. I was getting nervous because they have been gone for over an hour and I haven't heard from them since. I was pacing around the room waiting for them to come back.

Knowing what Emmett could do to Jax if he really wanted to. It had me worried about what has happened. To look at Jax and then Emmett you would think that Jax would think twice about taking someone on that is so much physically larger than he is but, I know he won't. When he gets in that mode he doesn't think things through he just reacts.

When they came back in there weren't any signs of either one of them being hurt. I even tried to look Emmett over and I saw him smile. He was shaking his head because he knew what I was doing. I know the idea to him of getting hurt is ridiculous but still I worry so much about them both.

Emmett had told Jax during their talk that I was being looked for by bad people that Edward owed. Those people wanted to bring harm to me because of Edward, retaliation for his actions. Emmett has been trying to protect me from them. Emmett made it sound like it was a syndicate crime family that was searching me out and could bring harm to anyone that is a Cullen. They have been keeping it a secret so that the Cullen name would not be damaged and it wouldn't hurt Carlisle good name or career. Jax has a lot of respect for Carlisle and agreed to help in way he could. It's just the rest of the Cullens he can't stand.

Jax understood all too well about crime, retaliation and bring harm to love ones because of someone else. Emmett made up this story to explain to Jax about the importance of his being around me and in my life. Instead of saying hey I'm a vampire and there is other vampires searching for Bella too. I'm so grateful that Emmett did this because I have been trying to protect Jax and Abel from that world. Maybe now I won't have too.

When Jax brought up Abel I was shocked "Emmett has agreed that if something happens to me that he'll help you raise Abel. Emmett is having the paperwork drawn up and I'm giving you full custody if I die. Gemma will only poison Abel and I don't wanna let him be raised like that. Don't be thinking that Emmett and I are buds cause I still hate him as much as he hates me. But we've reached some understandings that's all."

Emmett was trying to get me to understand some of their agreements they reached. But he was very vague and kept saying you know Bella. Well hell I didn't know or I wouldn't have kept asking over and over.

Jax finally asked Emmett to let him try to explain it "Bella I'm not as nice as college boy is so I'm just gonna spit the shit out. We know that you have a love for both of us and don't wanna choose. You've got some unfinished business with both of us. It sounds like from what Emmett told me. When you're with me you're my old lady and Emmett won't interfere with it unless I need muscle that he's offered. When your being his whatever you are, I won't interfere unless I'm asked to. We know that you've been fucking us both so what is the point of pretending we don't." Jax has that way about him of putting in simple terms and doesn't give a shit if you like it or not. But what he said is true and I can't deny it.

Emmett came over and sat down beside me "Bella you know that we have a hate for each other but we both love you. I don't know if this arrangement will work out or not but I'm willing to try because neither one of us is willing to walk away right now." I was still a little unclear on this arraignment that they have made.

Jax came over and sat on the other side of me "You're the one that started me on this merciless mission to hell of making shit right, getting right with myself and trying to be a better man and father. I can't do it without you Bella. I won't share you forever but till we get shit set straight this is what we came up with."

They think that they can just decide what I'm going to do "I'm not a fucking hotdog that you can just split and decide which half you get."

Jax was getting pissed "You don't want to be treated like it then don't act like it. They would lose respect for me if they knew I even agreed to this. I'm trying to do what's best for everybody involved. The club is never to know about this little arraignment either. Love breaks all the rules."

There are some club ways that make absolutely no sense to me. It would be okay if they passed around a whore and shared her like a joint. Then they would go home to their own old lady like it was a normal day. But if their old lady steps out of line or pays attention to another man then fight is on with them.

I got up off the bed rambling on and ranting at the same time how insane they are to even suggest this. Emmett got up and wrapped his arms around me "Bella you say that you love us both."

I felt Jax warm hands on my back. He whispered in my ear "So love us both Bella."

I wasn't as comfortable with this as they seemed. Emmett was kissing me then Jax would take a turn. I wasn't sure if I should run or just enjoy it. I kept waiting for one of them to get mad at the other but they didn't. I guess they meant what they said; on this side of the door it was neutral territory. But on the outside of it they go back to enemies as soon as they walk through it.

When I finally got comfortable with being in the same room with them kissing and touching the other ,they wanted more. This is where I wasn't sure. Yes I have been with both of them, my only two lovers I have ever had but never at the same time.

Emmett was taking off my shirt and Jax was undoing my bra. Feeling both of them moving their hands on my body was causing me to sweat and shiver at the same time. I know it sounds impossible to have a cold sweat in a fucking good way but I am.

Jax was more off stand offish than Emmett was. Jax would stop then just watch me and Emmett. But Jax being here never phased Emmett one bit and he was being that body pleaser that I've always known.

When they were both shirtless I was in a place I've never gone to before. Jax is my California sunshine with his bronzed muscled body. Tucking his long blond hair behind his ear is a signature bad boy move of his that he doesn't even know he has that would make women wet from just watching him. Those gorgeous blue eyes of Jax were looking at me with the passion that I learned from being with him.

Emmett my big daddy polar bear with his huge psychic. Muscles bulging in every place you can imagine. Porcelain white skin offset by his dark hair that would make any woman beg him to love you. The softness in his golden eyes showing me the love of all that is good in this world like he always has.

After unbuttoning their pants they finished getting undressed. I went to the floor on my knees between them. I put Jax's cock in my mouth and was using my hand on Emmett's long shaft. I was jacking Emmett off at the same pace that I was sucking Jax's cock. When I switched I let Emmett control his movements in and out of my mouth. He always likes to have control where Jax wants my mouth to do all the work.

When I switched back Jax shivered a little. I forgot about the temperature difference and he must have felt it too. So I took his balls in my mouth one at a time sucking and licking them like I do his cock. Needless to say he never asked any questions why my mouth was so cold.

Emmett was on the floor beside me and Jax sat down on the bed. Emmett was behind me rubbing his cock through my wet fold where my pussy was pulsing from every touch of his cock. I wanted him so bad right now.

Emmett pushed my head down to Jax's lap. I took him in my mouth and was sucking as hard as I could. Jaxs put his hands in my hair and grabbed a wad of it. I felt Emmett enter me and I couldn't help but to moan around Jax's cock with every thrust Emmett made into me.

Jax was moaning "Goddamn fuck her harder. I love feeling her moaning and the vibration she making on my cock." Emmett was fucking me so hard and fast that I couldn't keep up with his pace of sucking Jaxs cock. I couldn't help but to scream from the pleasure I was feeling.

I was screaming and sucking when Jax yanked me by my hair off of his dick. He was stroking himself at my face. I felt is warm creamy cum on cheek and mouth. Taking the tip of his cock he was spreading his cum on my lips.

I was licking cum off my lips and his dick in between trying to catch my breath from every hard thrust Emmett was making into me. Never being turned on more when Jaxs was kissing me and his cum was all over both of our faces now. Our lips were sticking together and damn it was fucking hot. I felt my pussy getting so tight and Emmett's cock throbbing inside me. Emmett pulled out of me "Swallow me." He trusted himself inside my mouth until his cum filled it up. I have them both in me and on me now.

I went to the bathroom and washed my face after Jax did. They were staring at me stroking their shafts when I came out of the bathroom. Jax was patting the bed in between them "We ain't done yet baby."

Standing by the bed "Holy shit are you guys trying to kill me?"

In a quick swift motion Emmett had me lying between them "Hey Bella."

They were ready for round two and I was still trying to recover from the first one. Emmett was between my legs his cool breath on my thighs was making me shiver in anticipation and my nipples were standing erect.

Jax was sucking my nipples. His warm tongue flicking my erect nipples and it was making my pussy so wet. Emmett was licking it all up like the wonderful lover that he is. To say I was being drove insane was starting to show when I grabbed a handful of Emmett's hair and was grinding my pussy all over his face. I had a death grip on Jax's dick stroking him as hard I could. With him biting down on my nipple it was making me beg to him to stop until I couldn't take it anymore "Fuck will one of you fuck me already."

Emmett laid down on the bed and leaned his head up against the head board. Setting me down on his cock. I could feel him so far up in me and when I started rocking on his cock he stopped me. But when Jax got behind me I was hoping he wasn't planning on going where I think he was.

Emmett was quick to move his legs so that Jax didn't feel his cold skin. Jax wrapped his arm around me from behind and was rubbing my stomach. Kissing the back of my neck and going up to my ear "Relax Bella I won't go fast and I'll stop when you wanna, I promise." Oh shit he was going where I thought he was.

Jax pushed my body down on to Emmett's chest. Emmett was rubbing my back whispering in my ear how much he loves me and to relax. Jax's cock was barley in my ass and I was screaming. Trying to squirm away from him. Emmett was moaning because I was gripping his cock with my pussy trying to protect my butt "Bella you're okay. Just focus on my cock going in and out of you." Emmett was moving slowly inside of me and nodded to Jax for him to continue.

Jax's cock was a couple of inches more in my ass and he stopped. Then he pushed farther inside me moving so slow. I could feel both of them moving at the same time inside of me.

I just thought I knew what fire meets ice meant until tonight being pressed between their bodies. Jax's body glistening from sweat and our body's glided against each other without effort. Emmett and my body pressed together felt like steam was coming from us.

Setting up on Emmett's cock I was deciding how much of Jax I was taking in. When I leaned back on to his cock and he was all the way in, Jax bit down on my neck "Fuck I'm not going to last much longer."

Emmett grabbed the head board and closed his eyes "Bella make him stop fucking biting you or I'm going too." Emmett's bite isn't the same as Jax of course.

I was trying to get away from Jax when Emmett sat up and I saw him bearing his teeth. I screamed "Stop." They both froze.

Jax grabbed my ass pushing in hard and as far in as he could when he came.

Emmett rolled me over on my back "I'm okay now Bella. I love you and I would never want to hurt you. I'm sorry I wanted to mark you when I saw him biting you." He was driving his cock with more strength than he ever has before into me until he came too.

Laying my head on Jax's shoulder and chest just like I always have done, felt like home again. Having Emmett curled up behind me like we always lay together felt comforting to me. Selfish bitch I might be but, a very lucky one to have two good men that love me.

Thinking about them both and what we had done together made me realize something; they make love just like they ride their Harleys. Jackson is smooth with his movements and always makes your body feel like one with his. Emmett is a much wilder ride and one you'll never forget you've been on. I wonder if that is true with all men. I'll have to ask Cherry and Lila.

But I couldn't help asking myself when all of this hits them will they hate me for what I've done? Jaxs was already out and was sleeping like Abel when he has missed a nap, like a baby.

Emmett was getting dressed and motioned for me to come outside with him "I'm going to meet Jasper and Peter. I need to hunt and there are some other things I have to take care of with Rosalie. I'll see you when you get back to forks. I love you and be safe." We kissed good bye and in a blur he was gone before I could say don't fight with her.

I went back in and sat in the chair watching Jax sleep. The guilt was starting to kick in. I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep so I went in and started the shower.

I was letting the hot water cleanse by body but it wasn't doing anything for my soul. I wiped my eyes when the shower door opened and Jax was standing there. I didn't want my shit to bring him down too.

He got in and wrapped me in a tight hug "Look at me Bella. You didn't do anything wrong. We all three wanted it and if Emmett says he didn't then he's lying."

I was being weak by showing all the emotions that I was feeling but I couldn't help it "How can you even look at me after what I just did?"

Jax took my face into his hands "I am gonna be honest right now. At first I was a little upset that you seem to be enjoying Emmett so much well actually a lot. But I told myself it was just fucken. But I can't say that I wasn't turned on by it either. I wanna get past all this and we'll do it together. If you stay by me I promise; I'll find your place with me in all this fucked up shit I call life."

We showered together and washed each others bodies but it was wasn't sexual. I don't even know how to explain the feelings I was having right now.

Jax and I have one more place to go before we leave tomorrow and I was ready to go back. Lying in bed we drifted off to sleep together and we both seemed at peace with ourselves for once.

The last place that Jax and I went to probably was the scariest. They had armed men posted on the outside and the inside. This was like a prison to an outsider and nobody got in unless they said so. When the one opened the gate he knew Jaxs but he still wasn't going to let us in. He kept telling Jaxs to make an appointment and come back.

Jax wouldn't accept no for an answer. The guys made a phone call and back to where we were "You have five minutes and no more."

When we walked in there was more armed men on the inside. I was shacking as we walked down a long hallway going to where I have no clue. Jaxs didn't show fear if he was scared. When I wanted to know what this place was and what the plan was; his response was simple "Sometimes you have to dance with the devil himself and pick the lesser of the two evils to survive." I didn't like his response and was too scared to even want to know anymore.

Jax explained to the man we meet with that Clay had killed JT. All of the things Clay has done to hurt the club and showed him the letters from Renee and JT. Jaxs asked me to wait in the hallway for him.

After their closed door meeting was over the man stuck his hand out "This will settle my debt to you and your father if I do this no?"

Jax shook the man's hand "Yeah our debt will be settled."

Jax would never tell me who the man was or what he was going to do to help. The only thing he would say was the man would be there for the annual run and we would be protected. Protection is something that I seem to need more and more of these days.

When we got back to the reservation there was a new Cadillac parked in the driveway and it was Gemma. She was setting outside with Billy smoking. Jaxs was pissed that she came here "Jesus Christ what does she want?" I had a good idea why she was here and what she wanted.

Jax got off his bike and walking towards Gemma with caution then he pulled his gun on her "Where is it Gemma?"

She kept her facial expression strong as she always does "Jackson I'm your mother put the gun down. I came here because I love you and Abel."

He refused to lower the gun "I'm gonna ask the question one more time. I know your packing where is it?" Everyone wasn't sure what in the hell he was doing but we all knew not to get in his way right now.

Gemma took a small pistol out of her boot and slowly moved to lay it on the ground. Jax emptied the bullets out on the ground and tossed the gun in the front seat of the Cadillac "Go home Gemma where you belong and don't come back."

Gemma had tears running down her face "Jackson please don't do this. Don't shut me out of your life."

Jax was so angry with his mother and it would be best if she didn't push him "Did JT beg you to when Clay was putting a bullet in his head? Did you watch him die or did Clay just tell you about the kill later? If you didn't love him anymore there was a shit load of things that you could have done differently. JT wanted out and didn't know how. Hell he probably would have given Clay the club if you would have asked him to. But instead you both just took everything away from him and me." I guess Jax will have some explain to do to the members now about Clay and JT. The others were already talking among themselves and I don't think anything will keep them from killing Clay now.

But I think the most shocked person was Gemma. She knows that Jax has been told the truth. Gemma was pleading with Jax as he walked away "Clay will kill you please don't do this. Come back Jax and I'll make sure that you get your rightful spot at the head of the table when it's time."

Jax smirked at her "Not if I kill him first. Don't get in my way Gemma. Go home you'll be safer there with him. As long as you stay by his side he won't hurt you."

Gemma grabbed Jax by the arm and he had his gun in her face "The outlaw you've created had mercy on you today and don't you fucken forget it."

Gemma backed away from Jax because she knew not to push him any farther "JT wasn't innocent in all this. He had so many other women too."

Jax wouldn't even turn around to acknowledge her he kept walking "Well you don't seem to mind when Clay does it."

Gemma made one more attempt as Jax was going in the house "I want to see Abel. You can't keep him from me Jackson."

"You can see Abel once this is over. You'll never get close to him till I kill Clay. I don't know what you or Clay would do to Abel. Go home Gemma." Jax shut the door and their conversation was over.

Gemma left because there was nothing left to talk about. She gave me an address of where she would be staying and asked that I come to meet her. I know what Jax would think of this and I have to agree with him because I don't know what she's really capable of doing.

Talking with Opie about what just happened, he explained a lot of things that I didn't know before. Jax had resented Clay for taking his father's place for a long time until he grew up. Jax let Clay in and trusted the club. Clay was always harder on Jax than the other club members. Jax always was seeking Clay's approval but never got it and now he knows that's because of what Clay did to JT. Clay sees Jax as the same threat. That could be why Jax has so many trust issues today and is always seeking out more. My outlaw is untrusting and untamable because of his fears.

Opie has a way of explaining things straight to the point and he did that with Gemma "You can take the girl off the Harley but you'll never take the Harley out of the girl. Gemma is that legacy and always will be. There is someone that is giving her a run for her money Bella, you." I wasn't trying to compete with Gemma and I don't honestly think I could ever be like her or as strong as she is.

Going through the house to find Jax and see if he was okay, he was sitting out back holding Abel. I sat down beside him but he didn't want to talk right now. So we sat in silence but I knew his mind was going in a hundred different directions right now.

Juice came around back and something was wrong "Jax I got a call from Bobby. Mary and Piney were found this morning shot execution style. Somebody has to tell Opie."

My cell phone was ringing. My heart sank it was phone number from Arizona. I knew before I even answered it. Phil and Renee were found shot execution style. Jax may have to get to Clay before I do.

Jax took my cell from me and finished having a conversation with the Arizona police department.

Jax hung up and dialed "Emmett, I'm gonna need your help man."

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed reading me.**


	22. Chapter 22

JACKSONS POV

I hung up with Emmett and was trying to console Bella but she wasn't showing any emotions. She wasn't reacting like I thought she would to the news of Renee getting killed. I already know who is responsible for it. I think we all do.

Juice came back to where we were still sitting on the ground "Jax someone called Lila and she already told Opie. He's leaving to go kill Clay. He won't listen to any of us." I wanted to be the one to tell him and be there when he found out.

I kissed Bella and went to hand Abel to Juice but Bella stopped me "No I don't want Abel to leave my sight until you kill that son of bitch. He needs to always be with me or you." This definitely wasn't the Bella I know. She seemed angry and I know why she was afraid for Abel not to be with us cause I am too. I don't even trust my own mother at this point.

She took Abel from me and hugged me tight "Go take care of Opie. He needs you Jax."

Lila was pleading with him not to go but to stay here with her and the kids when I got around to the front of the house "Op we need to fight this smart and not rush into anything. Clay won't hesitate to have you taken out and there ain't enough of us to fight on his turf. Your kids need you man."

Opie was reacting just like I thought he would "You fight smart Jax. I'm gonna get bloody. Clay killed my old man and yours too. This was the plan from the start wasn't it for you to kill him and walk away from the club? It didn't even hit me until I wanted to kill Clay too."

Opie knows me better than anyone in the club ever will "You know the rules brother when you kill another member your out. Yeah I was gonna kill him and give you the club Op. Out of all of them sitting at the table you deserve it more than anybody." I gave him the truth and I'm hoping it doesn't send him over the edge with everything else that the club has already taken away from him. He has already lost Donna, now Piney and Mary too. The only things left for him to hold on to is his kids, Lila and the club.

Opie was tearing shit up around him and Lila has no control over him. I know Op loves her in his own way but not the same way he loved Donna and Lila knows that too "Lila will you go check on Bella and give me and Op a minute?" She didn't respond to me but walked away with a heartbroken look on her face.

After Opie finally stopped being destructive "Are you done now? We need to take a walk cause your kids are watching this shit." Lila came back and took them around to the back of the house too.

Opie grabbed a rag out his saddle bag and wrapped it around his hand. Cause I would say if he didn't break it from pounding on everything in his path he's gonna be lucky "So you're one to give me parenting tips now Jax with all the shit you've got going on. I've never been the one my kids looked up to. It was always Donna and when I lost her, I lost them too. If it wasn't for Lila I don't even know what would've happened to them." The life we have chosen to live takes a toll on everyone we come in contact with. I know how Opie is feeling cause I've sat down so many times and thought about Able having to call a man like me dad.

Dragging Opie away from everyone "I'm nobody to give advice on shit. But Able is not old enough to remember any of this and he'll only hear about what a worthless piece of shit I am second hand." That is one of the reasons that I started writing. Maybe when he grows up he'll understand better and know the real me. There are only two people that can even say that and Opie still knows a different Jax than Bella does.

Hoping Opie would get it all out and then listen to reasoning "I'm gonna kill Clay. You know I've gotta do it Op and I don't give a shit about what happens after that. I've decided to give Bella custody of Able cause I don't trust Gemma with him. His life would be worse than mine if Gemma raised him. If I don't make it through this I wanted to have the people I love taken care of you, Abel and Bella. But we're not the only ones that have lost someone we love. Bella's mom and step dad was killed too the same way, execution style."

That is the only reason I agreed to what I did with Emmett and I'll take that to my grave. He'll make sure that Bella is taken care of if I die or worse spend the rest of my life in prison. She will make sure that Able is raised the way I want and Emmett agreed to help her with my son. I have lived my life wrong and it's time to make the choices to make shit right no matter how much it's killing me inside.

Opie calmed down a little cause now he had something else to focus on other than his own pain. He held his hand out to me "We kill Clay together and I don't give a shit what happens after that either." As fucked up as we all are in the club, if someone else needs us we put our own life aside and do what we can to take care of them.

I joined my brothers and true friends hand "Yeah we kill him together." Opie knows the consequences of the decision he just made. He's gonna do the same and ask Lila to take his kids if anything happens to him.

I went to my saddle bags and brought Opie back JT's book "JT saw all of this coming for the club so long ago. The fall of SAMCRO and the way it would cause brother to fight brother if things didn't change. The path of destruction that it was on then and the way it would end up with us destroying ourselves. He died cause he didn't know how to change the direction of the club and Clay challenged him for the head of the table. You need to read it to understand. I don't wanna let the others know this yet. The only other person that has seen it is Bella. There were only eight people that knew the secrets and four of them are dead now. That only leaves me, Bella, Gemma and Clay. Now you are on that same hit list too."

Opie took the book from me "I already was on the list Jax." More truths that are hard to accept but he's right. He has been on Clay's list for a long time now and so was Piney.

I handed him the envelope that Renee gave Bella "After you're done with the book read these. This is why Clay will do anything that he has to do to protect the secrets."

The others wanted to know what was gonna happen "Were gonna go with Opie back to Charming to make funeral arraignments for Mary and Piney. We'll have to watch his back the whole time. But nobody will start any shit while were there. We need to keep our heads and go honor our fallen brother. The girls and kids can stay here till it's time for them to come. Jacob will watch over them and do a ride long. Bella and Abel will go with Emmett to Arizona to make the arraignments there."

Happy kept questioning me and the rest was looking at me like I was the enemy now "Have you lost your fucken mind Jax? Why would you send your kid and old lady off with the enemy? How do we know that fucker is even trust worthy and won't nark us out? I can't believe that you trust him cause I don't."

Not wanting to share the details of our arrangement "Emmett hates me and your right Happy it must seem like I've lost my mind. But he loves Bella and he won't do nothing that's gonna hurt her. Abel stays with Bella when he's not with me. I can't be in three places at the same time. They don't belong in Charming till the funeral. We don't know what the retaliation will be on us when we go riding up there. I'm trying to keep everyone alive and I'm running out of options here so if you guys gotta better plan let me hear it. Otherwise you guys are just gonna have to trust me." I took their silence as they don't have any input. Questioning my decisions is how it all started for JT and Clay too when they lost control. I can't tell them the truth about me, Bella and Emmett. Cause that path would lead to disrespect and disapproval of my leadership. Shit it ain't easy being King. But I will do what I gotta do to protect my Queen.

Bella and I are gonna go meet Emmett. He can't come on the reservation which nobody would explain why to me. I've been waiting for her to break down like I expected but she hasn't. Not really having any emotions at all still. We're meeting him near the Cullens property away from everyone. I think Bella needs him right now and I won't stop her from going to him.

Trusting Opie with my life we left Abel with him and Lila. Juice and Koz was down the road from the houses on watch "Protect the girls and kids with your lives." They both know what needed to be done but I felt better saying it again.

We met Emmett and told him everything that happened "Bella give us a minute."

She rolled her eyes and stomped off cause she knows that means were talking about her "Love you." She wouldn't even turn around and look at us.

I took out the throw away gun I was carrying "The serial numbers have been filed off. It can't be traced to me or you. Do you know how to use it or do you need me to show you?"

He didn't seem comfortable with it and didn't want to take it "Look Emmett I don't know who'll be coming at you. Clay's reach is strong and I don't trust nobody. If you can't pull that trigger there is no way in hell I'm leaving Bella and Abel with you."

Tucking the gun in the back of his pants "I will protect them with my life Jackson. I give you my word."

I really wanna believe him but he is protecting my everything "If they get hurt on your watch. I will kill you Emmett. That's just how I am."

He had a smirk on his face "I feel the same way. Only I will be evil with you first. That's just how I am." That smirked turned into a look of darkness. Something that I recognize all too well from looking in the mirror at myself every day. Maybe he isn't that goody goody that he pretends to be after all.

Walking over to where Bella was at "Good then we've got an understanding of one another."

Peter and Jasper rode up on their bikes while Bella was walking with Emmett. That's the part of their relationship that I'm most jealous of. The fact she confides in him. She was starting to have some of the emotions of losing her mom but it was with Emmett.

Jasper and Peter was watching me closely. I think to see my reaction of Bella hugging Emmett but there wasn't gonna be anything for them to watch. Jasper has always been nice to me but I know where his loyalty lays, his brother where it should "Do you think Doc would look at my guys hand? I need to get him patched up so he can ride." Jasper called Carlisle and he'll call once his shift at the hospital is done. I know he'll take good care of Op and won't ask any questions.

When they came back from their walk she hugged them all good bye and then she kissed Emmett. That was the hardest part for me to see but as we agreed she was with his family and I won't interfere with that. I hope she realizes how much I love her and Abel to do this.

On the way to the store to buy some groceries to take back to the reservation she hadn't said anything "Bella are you okay? You know I want to be there for you when you go to Arizona but I can't be everywhere and I've gotta be with Opie." She said she understood and wasn't upset with me at all. But there was something on her mind.

She parked Billy's truck next to a SUV and when the lady got out of her vehicle she banged her door it into the truck door hard. The lady pretended she didn't even notice and went walking into the store. Bella got out and looked at the truck door "Excuse me, but you just hit my truck." I looked too and the lady dented it a little.

The lady was a real snooty bitch "So what, as old as it is can you even tell? Besides it's your fault for parking so close to me. You should be glad that I don't want you to pay for the scratch it made on my door."

I saw a side of my woman I've never seen before, revengeful. Bella put a foot print into the door panel of the bitches SUV when she kicked her foot into it "Now you can say there's something that needs to be paid for on your vehicle."

The lady was pissed and got up in Bella face "You crazy white trash bitch. I'll sue you and you will pay for that."

Bella shoved the lady and the lady fell down to the ground "I will have you locked up for assault. People like you two don't belong in this society. Lower class trash that's all you are."

I was holding Bella back cause I didn't want her to get into trouble. I finally got her to walk away and I was trying to get her into the store when the lady came up behind her and smacked Bella in the back of the head. I let go of Bella "Do what ya gotta do."

Maybe I shouldn't have done that. I think that lady received all the pent up anger and aggressions that Bella had. I was dragging her off the lady "That's enough Rocky. She's had enough."

Throwing her little ass in the truck and leaving before the cops came "You're grounded missy. You can't go nowhere unless I'm with you. But that was really hot by the way. But so not like you. Where did my sweet Bella go?"

She didn't crack a smile or even look at me "Pull the truck over Jackson."

I kept driving "Oh come on Bella I was just play around with you. But it wasn't something I'd expect you to do."

Her tone with me was something I've never heard come from her before "Pull the fucking truck over. You have no idea what I can do when I have to."

Parking the truck on the next gravel road I didn't see what was coming next. She was tearing the buttons off my shirt trying to rip it off me "Damn you need to fight more often girl."

She was getting undress "Shut up and fuck me." Yeah I love the new Bella.

On the side of the road I was taking Bella as cars drove by but I didn't give a shit. They were honking, flashing their light and one even stopped till I flashed my gun at him.

Bending her over in the seat and fucking her from behind till she was screaming my name. That always gets to me. But I wasn't ready to cum yet.

I led her over into the grass. We lay together and loved each other. There wasn't anybody else in our world at this time but me and her. This was so different from other times we've been together. Maybe it was just the whole voyeurism thing but I don't think so. She was different with me, almost like she wasn't holding nothing back and this was the real her.

Not wanting to stop but when she clawed my back and screamed "I love you Jax." I was done for and I couldn't hold it any longer.

When we got back Juice met us at the truck "Where's the food at?"

Happy came out too "You've been gone for four fucken hours and you didn't bring back anything for us to eat."

Telling nothing but having a huge smile on my face "It's a long story, a good story, but long." We ended up ordering thirty pizzas to have enough for everyone to eat. Lila said she would go to get groceries tomorrow.

After we ate Bella told me she was gonna go talk to her dad. This was what has been weighing on her mind all day. She wants to tell him the whole story "Bella you can't tell him about the club and Clay. He's a cop and he'll lock me up. I can't protect you from inside a jail cell."

There was no reasoning with her "I don't care I'm telling him the truth. How long do you think it's going to be until Clay comes after him too? Clay will do whatever it takes to get you and me. Charlie deserves to know and I have to tell him about what happened to Renee. Go with me Jax to see him. I have to do this and I need you Jax." She has never told me she needed me before.

Making a decision that is gonna effect everything, I agree to go along with Bella to meet her cop father. I have to be fucked in the head like Happy has been telling me I am. Or maybe it's more of Opie's way of thinking, you will do anything for the woman you love club or no club even if it means death.

When we got out I was nervous. I went to take my cut off to leave it inside Billy's truck but Bella didn't want me to "Leave it on Jaxs. It's who you are and I'm not ashamed of that."

Shame wasn't on the list that came to mind. He's a cop and he will hate me just cause of the way I look and the leather on my back. That should be enough of a reason for that anyways. But then when she's done talking murder and all kinds of felony charges come to mind that I will be facing. I am gonna stand by her side and take what comes cause that's what she has always done for me.

Before we made it up to the front door I took her hand. She has always been strong and now it's my turn "Are you gonna come visit me in prison?"

She laughed "Well I can't because if Charlie arrests you he will have to take me too. So they are not going to let me visit you."

A man came to the door with a smile when he saw Bella and frown when he looked me up and down "Bella who is this?"

She introduced me to him. I put my hand out "Hi I'm Jackson and it's nice to meet you."

He didn't shake my hand but crossed his arms "Uh huh and what gang are you with?"

Before I could answer his question Bella hugged him "Dad I have missed you so much. Jax is not with a gang it's a motorcycle club." That was a damn good answer but then again she's been around us enough to know what to say or not to say.

He invited us in to set down. Well he invited Bella in and I tagged along. She sat close to me on the couch and I could feel his eyes burning holes through me. Normally I handle this shit really well but I was wanting her father to accept me and it seems to have me all fucked up. I bet he would welcome a guy like Emmett in his daughter's life.

Bella told him she has somethings to tell him and that he needs to remain calm. But he didn't "I knew it you knocked up my daughter. Tell me what you're going to do about that. She is only eighteen."

Bella corrected him "Dad I'm nineteen."

I looked at Bella and she shook her head no "Bella's not pregnant and if she was I would take care of her. I love your daughter and regardless of what you think of me that's not gonna change." I'm trying to remain clam with this guy. But I don't think he is gonna let that happen.

Bella asked to speak to him in private. They were gone for a long time when they came back into the living room "Is Clay a threat to my daughter and is she safe as long as he is alive? Is he responsible for Renee's death?"

Not being sure how I should answer that question cause it was a death sentence for me either way "I'm not sure."

Bella put her hand on her dads shoulder and there were tears in his eyes "Bella will always be my daughter."

Charlie asked me again and Bella shook her head for me to tell him the truth "Yeah I believe that Clay is the one that had Renee killed. I am trying to protect Bella the best that I can from him."

Her dad took his gun out of the holster and I knew it was time for the handcuffs to come out for me too. But he laid it down on the coffee table. He took his badge off of his uniform "I have upheld the law for the last twenty years. I've never even as much as gotten a speeding ticket. When it comes to my little girl this badge doesn't mean shit to me."

Tossing his badge on the coffee table beside his gun "Are you going to kill him or am I?"

I hope you enjoyed reading me.


	23. Chapter 23

JACKSONS POV

How do you answer Charlie's question without given him a confession at the same time? I guess even cops have a breaking point that can be busted when it comes to protecting their family. I took a shot in the dark that he won't push for more information like his daughter always does "I'm gonna handle the situation with Clay. You don't have to worry about it. Everything will be taken care of."

He is like his daughter and wants to know more "How do you plan on handling that exactly? What happens to Bella in the mean time? I'll take a leave of absences from the station because she is not leaving my sight."

Bella took the lead and I was grateful for that "Dad that's not why I told you all of this. I just wanted to make your aware so you could use caution. I trust Jax to take care of everything. I don't want you to get in trouble. You're all I have left now. If something happens to you I could never forgive myself. So please let Jaxs handle this. It's a family thing for him. Clay is Jax's step dad." I am glad she has so much faith in me cause I have been flying blind since the day I walked away from the Sons.

Charlie isn't all Bella has. She will always have me and Abel. I could give two shits less about that family I walked a way from anymore. I know it's wrong but in my mind I don't have that family and I never have cause it's always been a lie.

After my arguing and trying to rationalize shit with him, I still got nowhere. Which by the way I see where Bella gets the stubborn streak from now. Bella was pleading with Charlie; he's at least giving me the chance to handle it first my way. But he made it very clear to me that if I don't he will. He's coming to Charming with Bella for the service and I can only imagine what hell that will bring too. That's the only way I could get him to agree to back off Clay. How in the fuck am I gonna explain that to the others? Oh hey a cop is gonna tag along with us guys so nobody kill anybody today.

I think Charlie is having just as much of a hard time dealing with the truth of his life as me and Bella are. You wake up that morning knowing who you are and where you've been to find out that nothing is real like you thought it was. You're piecing together whatever shreds of reality you can hold on to. If you let what little bit you have left go, all of you is completely gone.

I went outside to smoke to give them some time to console each other. Charlie is still in love with Renee after all of these years. You can tell by the way he talks about her and how hard he is taking her death. When a man truly loves a woman it doesn't end there even when they leave you cause you weren't enough for them.

Bella and Charlie came outside too. She went over to an old truck and I saw her face light up when she fired up the engine "Jacob rebuilt this for me. I love my old truck. So don't say that it's ugly like everybody else does."

I popped the hood on it and Jacob made it a sound running vehicle considering how old it is. This kid is way ahead of his time and I would love to have him working in my shop. With a little training I bet he could do anything "Jacob did a good job. It's too bad he is so young cause I think he would make a hell of a mechanic."

Bella got out and took a hold of my arm and gave me a kiss on the cheek "Thank you for everything you have done for Jake. He loves you Jax. Jacob doesn't really connect with people outside of the reservation." I really haven't done anything for him. He's the one that has done for me. I plan on returning the favor as soon as I can.

When Bella told Charlie that Emmett was gonna be with them too to make arraignments for Renee he didn't take that news well "Emmett the brother of Edward Cullen. What in the hell is going on Bella? You didn't come back in enough time to start at the Community College. You haven't returned one of my phone calls. Then you drop this bomb on me of everything that's happened. Now you've let the Cullens back into your life too? What in the hell are you thinking?" At least Emmett isn't getting any better of a welcoming than I am by him. Petty I know but it did make me feel better. For once the biker and the college boy were on the same level with somebody.

Charlie asked me if I knew how to use a gun and I couldn't help myself but to laugh "Yeah I know how."

As we were leaving "Jackson if anything happens to Bella, I will personally make sure that you never see daylight again. Do you understand what I am saying to you?"

I didn't wanna be a smart ass but I could have taken it a couple of different ways. Charlie will kill me or lock me up "Yeah I got it." This isn't any different of the talk I had with Emmett about watching over Abel. I would expect no less of Charlie wanting to protect Bella.

He hugged Bella goodbye and at least I know Emmett won't be having any fun on their trip to Arizona with Charlie tagging along. I was laughing and Bella wanted to know why "Oh nothing." I almost feel like I'm turning into a little pussy hoping deep down that Emmett is made miserable and will have no fun time with Bella. Nah, who am I kidding I just hate him.

Bella drove her truck back to the reservation and she couldn't be happier to be behind the wheel of it. I'm always wishing I could give her more but maybe I've forgotten about the little things with her too. I think she could care less about having a brand new shiny vehicle. I'm the same way though, give me an old project to work on with my hands and I'm a happy guy.

We never told Charlie about Abel when we were there "Bella how do you think Charlie is gonna take the news about me having a kid? Maybe we should have told him while we were there." She kept telling me it would be fine and no big deal.

When we got back to the reservation I didn't see Op anywhere after we walked around "Koz where's Opie?"

Koz said the last time he saw Opie was walking down the beach. I walked a ways before I found him. He was just hanging out by himself and drinking "How long have you known the truth Jaxs?"

This won't be the only time I have to answer this question I'm sure "Since I got shot and came here. I confronted Bella after Clay said she was his daughter and she showed me the letters then."

I'm probably gonna be sorry but this is more truths for Opie "Bella's cop dad is coming to Charming too and he knows everything with Clay."

Opie wasn't exactly happy at that news "Oh shit. What the fuck have you got yourself into? If we survive the slaughter I guess we'll be keeping it in the family when Bella's dad arrests us huh?" It didn't go as bad as I thought it would. But part of what he's saying is right. How far can Charlie be pushed to bend the law without the cop side of him stepping up?

The girls made our arm bands to wear at the service while I was gone; Piney Winston, Original 9; Lover Friend, Savior. I guess Bella had a bigger effect on the guys than I thought cause Opie wanted it to say that. I tucked mine in my pocket and we went back to find the girls.

More drama was going on when we got back. Bella was trying to calm Lila down "I can't do it anymore Bella. I never thought I would make it this far with Opie. I hate the club and how it's tearing him apart. If he even lives through killing Clay where is he going to be then? Prison again and for how long this time?" That happens a lot with the old ladies. They blame the club for the decisions we make and not us. It's really never been the club to blame just our own way of thinking that has created the men we are.

Bella took a stern approach with Lila that I never thought I would see her do "Do you love Opie?"

Lila was crying but nodded her head yes "Then somehow you will make it work out with him. You don't have to like the club Lila to be with Opie but it will never work if you hate it. When you hate the club you hate the man too. No matter how fucked up I think the club is I still love the man that Jackson is and trying to become. Opie is trying so hard to make that move too Lila and he's doing it for the ones he loves."

Opie was thinking hard about the words that Bella had just said "Do you know who your old lady reminds me of?"

I rolled my eyes "Yeah and don't say Gemma's name cause I don't wanna hear it."

Opie put his hand on my shoulder "No brother I wasn't gonna say Gemma. I was gonna say a true Queen of her old man." That made me smile cause she is turning into that more every day without even realizing it. This was just another example of how a woman would have to be strong and handle what comes to stand by my side.

Opie and Lila talked it out. It has to scare any woman that considers being with us. At first they all wanna be with a bad boy but when the shit hits the fan you'll see those same women getting away from us as fast as they can. Then there is Bella. I'm not sure but she deals with most of this shit so well like she's been through it before. Making the hard choices and tough calls of life.

Sitting and watching Abel sleep with all of Opie's kids. Wondering if they'll still have a dad when everything is said and done. Bella came up behind me and I pulled her down on my lap "You handled Lila so well today babe. Sometimes I forget that your younger than me. I couldn't be prouder of my girl." A few years difference in age sometimes makes a huge difference with maturity. But Bella is so mature for her age and seems so fearless lately. To know what goes on in her head would probably scare me and intrigue me at the same time. Maybe someday she'll trust me enough to share that.

Thinking about everything that was coming and all the evil things I was gonna do "Promise me Bella that you'll never let Abel forget about me. I know you already have but I need to hear it again." I was giving Emmett my son and my old lady this time cause I don't have any choices left. I'm handing them back over to the man that I've fought so hard to get Bella back from.

My cell went off and I knew it was time to meet Emmett and sign my rights away "I'll be back." She wanted to go too but I've gotta do this on my own.

Emmett was cool about everything "Jackson are you sure this is what you really want to do?"

I took the papers from him "It's not what I wanna do but what I've gotta do. But I have one question for you. How are you gonna be with my kid? A constant reminder of me always being there in your face every day. When you have your own will Abel still be a welcomed child?" The cold hard facts as they are. Both him and Bella are young. If they stay together they more than likely will have a child of their own someday.

Emmett looked away "I can't have children of my own. I had an accident when I was young and there is no chance for that now. I would treat Abel as my own child and make sure that he is loved. I would also make sure that he always knows who his real father is. You and I are not exactly friends but, I would never dishonor you or be disrespectful where Abel is concern." I almost felt sorry for him seeing the sadness in his eyes when he talked about not having children of his own. But I also was chocking back the lump in my throat too. That had to take a lot on his part to say he would never let Abel forget me. Emmett is really making it hard right now for me to not like him at least a little bit.

I tossed the papers on top of the Jeep and signed. Every stroke of the pen was breaking my heart "Thanks for everything Emmett. I mean that man. If there's ever a time you need me, I'll be there. You have my word." Nobody would understand our situation and I'm not sure that I understand it all myself. But they say everything happens for a reason and I guess we'll see how all of this plays out.

I took a key off my chain and handed it to him "This is to a safety deposit box at the Northeast Bank in Charming. The box is full of cash. If I don't come back use it to raise Abel. You already know what I'm gonna do so let's not bullshit each other."

He refused to take it "You'll be back Jackson." I can only hope that's the case. I'll give the key to Bella and make sure that I'm at least some finical support for my son.

The ride back to the reservation I used the time to clear my head. Taking my time, in no real hurry to get anywhere. I always turn to the road when I need to think or gain back my sanity.

Finding Bella curled up on the floor with all of the kids. I snuggled up behind her "Hey wake up. Go for a ride with me."

She rolled over still half asleep "What about the kids?"

Happy was asleep on the couch and Koz was asleep in the recliner "They'll be fine." With Happy and Koz watching over the kids I would pity the fucker that messed with them.

She was getting dressed and I stopped her "Your dressed perfect for this ride. Just put your hair up." In a tank top and shorts she went into the bathroom and brushed her teeth then tied up her hair.

After we rode a couple of miles from the reservation I pulled over to the side of the road and took my shirt off. Bella was hesitant to ride without a shirt on "Seriously is this the same girl that molested me on the side of the road in the daylight? We're riding on the back roads and I'll go slow. " I lifted her tank over her head and knew I better get back on the bike or it would turn into another roadside show.

This was the best ride and sexiest I've ever had. With her arms around me and feeling skin on skin it was a rushing sensation going down the road. Her breasts were pressed up against my back and the vibration from the bike felt so good on my already hard cock. I reached around with one hand moved her shorts over and stuck my fingers into her wet pussy.

I thought Bella was gonna have a heart attack "Jax keep your hands on the bike. We'll have a wreck."

Moving my fingers in and out of her a little faster "Relax babe and enjoy the ride. I've got this." I wasn't going over twenty five but fucken while on a slow ride was a thrill no less. When she relaxed and got into; it made cum start oozing from my cock. Hearing the roar of the engine and Bella's moans was making me want more and need it now.

Pulling over again only this time I wanna feel the ride and her too at the same time. I unzipped my pants and helped her straddle me on the seat "Lay back and hold on to the handle bars." I tucked my shirt under her to cover the gas tank to protect her back.

I could only make small movements inside her while going down the road but the engine was making it feel like a giant viberator for the both of us. Our juices were mixed together running from the seat and were making a sizzling sound when hitting the hot parts on the bike.

Bella was trying to sit up and I wasn't stopping till we both had all we could take. She managed to sit up on me and feeling her bouncing on my cock I had to either cum or pull over. So I did both. I could barely hold the bike up with the hard way she rocking the bike and my world at the same time.

When my feet hit the ground I pounded her till she came and I was soft. I held her to me as tight as I could "Will you forget me Bella?" More hard truths for myself; she'll eventually move on and I already know with who.

The moonlight was showing her tears like sparkling rain drops "I'll never forget my Jackson. You were my first for a lot of things. I will always love you no matter what happens."

We got dressed and I gave her my sweatshirt out of the saddle bag for the ride back. Opie was sitting outside alone drinking still when we got back "Where've you been brother?"

Of course he already knew "We just went for a ride."

Opie laughed "Yeah I can tell. A good ride no doubt."

I snuggled up to Bella that had Abel laying next to her. I put my arm over both of them and held on to my family one more time.

BELLAS POV

Jax was leaving and I kissed him goodbye "You come home to me." I watched them ride away again wondering what my outlaws fate would be. No matter what happens he will always be unfadded from my memory and unforgotten in my heart.

Lila drove over too. I took the car seat out and hugged her goodbye "I love you Bella. I don't really have any family and I think of you as my sister." I waved as Jacob followed her back to the reservation on his bike to make sure that she was alright.

Emmett welcomed us both into his home and into his arms like nothing had changed. He wanted to stay away from the Cullens and at his house but wouldn't ever tell me why "It's not important Bella. Just know that I love you and I will always protect you no matter who it's against."

When I went to put Abel's things in the bedroom and I stopped as I walked by the door of the spare bedroom. It was a complete nursery. It had Looney Tune characters everywhere; on the walls, bedding for the crib and five foot stuffed animals of several characters "Do you like it?"

I couldn't help but to smile "I love it Emmett. Did you do all of this?"

He went in and opened the closet door "Alice helped me. But do you think this will be enough for a couple of days?"

I walked over to look inside. The closet was crammed full of diapers, baby food and formula "Yeah that is enough for about twenty kids."

Emmett watched Abel when I went to take a shower. I was enjoying the peace of showering without five others waiting in line to take one too. I appreciate Jacob and Billy taking us all in but it was really small living quarters.

Panic stricken Emmett came into the bathroom and opened the shower door "Bella something is wrong with Abel. He's crying and I swear I didn't hurt him."

I grabbed a towel to get out and wrapped it around my body. So much for taking that long peaceful shower "Em you really need to relax. I know you would never hurt him. He's probably just hungry."

Sitting Abel in his new Tweedy Bird highchair I got a jar of baby food. Emmett was watching my every move carefully "Would you like to feed him Em?"

His golden eyes lit up "Do you think I can?" I giggled to myself. Emmett is so loving and gentle. I don't know why he is so worried. If I thought he would hurt Abel, I would never let Emmett come close to him.

It was the most adorable thing to watch. When Emmett took the lid off of the jar "Are you sure this is good for him because it smells like shit?" I kept telling him that Abel would love it. Emmett ever so carefully dipped the little spoon in it and gently put it in Abel's mouth.

After feeding him two jars already Emmett went to get the third one when I stopped him "Are you sure we have fed him enough? What if he's still hungry? How do you know when he's full?"

I started laughing "When his belly pokes out." I raised Abel's shirt up and showed Emmett his belly.

I fixed his bottle and was getting ready to lay Abel down for a nap. Emmett was rocking him in the living room and he was already asleep. So I stuck the bottle in the frig and went to take him from Emmett "Can I hold him for just a little longer, please?"

I kissed Emmett on the forehead "Hold him as long as you want to." Abel was all wrapped up in blanket because Emmett was afraid he would get cold. I laid down on the couch and watched this vicious predator being wrapped around that little boy's finger. Emmett has never been like the other vampires and today no one would ever believe that he could be a killer.

I dozed off and when I woke up I heard noises coming out the kitchen. I leaned up against the counter and watched them together "Okay Abel this is my best impression." He was doing Daffy Duck and then he did Porky Pig too.

Abel has no fear of Emmett; he was laughing and kicking his legs. His little hands were on Emmett's face and Emmett's smile back at him was so breath taking. He picked up Abel from the kitchen table "Hey you're awake." I napped for four hours and it felt good too.

I went over to the frig to see what there was to eat "Em did I mention that Charlie is going with us tomorrow? He already bought his plane ticket" Of course I had not mentioned that yet. I know it's going to be a problem at some point. We talked for a while and I told him about taking Jax to meet him. Charlie doesn't like either one of them but that doesn't matter to me.

We lounged around on the couch and watched TV for the rest of the night. I changed his diaper and Emmett laid Abel in his bed "Good night little guy."

Getting to lay on a real bed after sleeping on the floor felt so good. Emmett kept getting up to go check on Abel and I couldn't stay awake any longer.

Waking up to having the shit shook out of me "Bella wake up. Abel hasn't moved in the last four hours and I think something is wrong with him."

I looked at the clock and it was almost four in the morning. I went to check on him and he was sleeping "Emmett I love you so much and I mean this in the nicest way I can say it. You're driving me crazy and wearing me out. Abel is fine."

Emmett laid back down and cuddled with me "I'm sorry Bella. It makes me nervous because I don't know what normal baby behavior is. I don't want anything to happen to him."

I gave him a kiss "You are the sweetest man and I know how much you love Abel. But you really need to relax Em."

He held me for the rest of the night but morning came way to soon. By the time I heard Abel; Emmett was dressed and in there with him. I rolled back over for fifteen more minutes of sleep because I know Abel was in good hands. If anything Abel is going to be spoiled rotten and want to be held all the time.

Getting everything ready to go was pretty easy. I showered and ran Abel's bath. But of course mother Emmett was in there playing with him and his tub toys. I snapped a couple of pictures of them together. I don't want to let Jax see them but, this may be the only chance that Emmett gets at that opportunity of being with a baby.

Meeting Charlie at the airport was interesting needless to say. I was in the arms of Edward's brother. The one that broke my heart not so long ago. Emmett was holding the child of the man that I introduced my father to and told him that I was in love with. I probably should have thought that one through a little better.

Emmett never seemed phased by Charlie's snide remarks or his being rude to him. He had his best little buddy with him and kept playing with Abel like Charlie wasn't even talking to him.

I couldn't wait until this flight was over with but I know the hardest part was still yet to come. Renee has always wanted to be cremated and have her ashes spread in the ocean. Which I think is fitting to her carefree and uncomplicated life choices. But Charlie being more traditional has already said he wanted a funeral and a proper burial. Thinking a lot about death and choices that we make; I am going to honor her last wishes. No matter how much I have to fight with Charlie about it.

Emmett kept Abel while Charlie and I made the arraignments. They both will be cremated and an ash spreading ceremony in Florida. They always wanted to make it there to live but didn't before Clay took their lives away from them. Now they will always be there together and they made forever together too. Charlie was mad but finally agreed that is what Renee would want.

Their house was a rental and Emmett hired people to clean it up. They will box up all of their belongings and put them into storage until I decide what I want to do with them. I'll pick a weekend and come back to go through everything. I mostly want the pictures and little things to keep my mom close to me.

I always longed for closeness with her but never got it. Watching over Abel has made me understand some of the difficulties Renee must have had trying to raise me on her own. It has been an eye opener for me. They say to never judge until you have walked a mile in their shoes and believe me I am finding that to be so true the older I get.

When it was all done Charlie wanted to eat. Emmett doesn't eat but he went along and played pretend as he always does so well. When I took Abel from him so he could get a highchair, Abel started crying. Emmett took him back and he immediately stopped. Emmett winked at me "Chicks and babies, they can't resist me." That is a true statement. Every woman in here was drooling over him and Abel was drooling on him.

Charlie asked Emmett if he knew about Jax and me. My heart started beating faster not knowing how he would answer the question "Yes I have met Jackson. Charlie do you hate me because I'm a Cullen or do you have another reason? I understand why you would be mad considering the way we left and what Edward did to Bella. But I'm not Edward and she has forgiven me for leaving. Not to sound rude but I love your daughter and I will not let you stand in my way of that. I want to get along but how my and your relationship goes is up to you." Charlie didn't have much to say to that but by the end of the meal they were having a civil conversation. I can only imagine how Jax would have responded to the same question of does he know about Emmett. Charlie really wouldn't have liked that answer because Jaxs can't sugar coat for shit.

Being bombarded with question after question by Charlie "Bella explain to me about the two of them. Are you dating both of them? Jackson has a child. Are really ready for that huge responsibility? Why in the hell would Jackson allow his child to be around Emmett? Does he even know?"

Emmett saved me "Here Charlie is your key and your room is around on the other side. It's been a long day and I think I'm going to go to bed. So we'll talk to you in the morning, sleep well." Walking away so glad that I didn't have to answer any of that and tell Charlie more lies.

We laid Abel between us. He stuck his thumb in his mouth and put his other little hand on Emmett's chest. His eye lids were getting heavy and he wasn't going to last much longer "You know that there is nothing more I would rather do than give you a child Bella. Being around Abel I don't see how you cannot want one." He was only seeing the good things of having a child and not the bad. I felt bad for what I had said to him the day I left. But he knew why I did it. Emmett puts too much emphasis on having children in a relationship.

I leaned over Abel and kissed him "I love you Em and you know it doesn't mean that we can't try to make one."

Emmett broke our kiss "Does he feel warm to you?"

At first I thought Emmett was just over reacting again but when I touched Abel he was hot "Yeah he does." I got the thermometer out of his diaper bag and he has a fever.A really high fever.

Giving him baby Motrin and running a cool bath for him while Emmett was pacing the floor "Maybe we should take him to the hospital or call Carlisle?"

When I put Abel in the bath tub he screamed his head off just like all kids do when they are put into cool water "Let's call Jax because we can't take him to the hospital without his consent."

Laying Abel naked on the bed hoping his fever would break soon because it is on the high side. I found my cell and Emmett took it away from me "Bella I have to tell you something. We have custody of Abel right now. Jackson gave you and I temporary control of all matters concerning him."

Emmett has to be mistaken "You mean if something happens to Jax you and I have custody."

Emmett shook his head no "Jackson doesn't think he is going to make it through all of this bullshit with the club and Clay. He didn't want Gemma to have Abel so he granted custody before death. It's easier to fight her in court that way. You and I can prove we have a more stable home and a better living environment for Abel to be in than Gemma can. Jackson even gave an affidavit of his own disapproval of his mother having Abel. It's only temporary and if everything goes well Jackson will get to raise his son." I didn't even know what to think about that. Those two have been talking a lot more than I thought. There has to be more to it than that. Jax giving Emmett control if his son doesn't make any sense and no one mentioned it to me.

HONORING A FALLEN BROTHER

Jackson and the others made the necessary arraignments. They were trying to keep a low profile in town. With it being such a small town though the news of their return spread like wildfire.

They stayed at Piney house because Opie had never been close to Mary. Opie didn't want to go to his own home with a constant reminder of what he had already gone through with Donna and what his children were still going through. His brothers followed his lead while they were here.

Not being close wasn't because Mary and Opie didn't love each other but because the club was an obstacle between them. Mary left Piney when Opie was a young boy because she couldn't live with the club ways anymore. The world changed for her when she became a mother. But as soon as he could, Opie went running back to Charming and followed in Piney's footsteps.

Mary moved back to Charming to watch Opie grow up even though she would never admit to that. Mary had washed her hands of the club and could not have her own child in her life without excepting the club back too. Right or wrong with the decisions Mary made she lost all of her family but was still nearby when they needed her.

Piney and Mary had made their own peace with each before reaching their own ending together. As life often has fate interfering for a reason. They started a life as a young couple in love and received death side by side still having love in their hearts for one another.

Opie was taken back to a time when he was younger going through Piney's things. He found little things from his childhood in a box in the closet. Piney never acted as a tender or sentimental man but the things Opie found told him otherwise. That brought a smile to Opie's face and love to his heart finding new things out about Piney.

But when Opie came across a letter he called Jackson into the bedroom "You need to read this."

Jackson took the letter from Opie.

My brother and my only real friend:

You and I have survived so many things together as friends and brothers. The war we fought where we went in as boys and came out as men.

We were from different sides of the world but united watching each others backs to make it out alive. I have always called you my brother and that will never change. I am closer to you than anyone in the club and I will always have your back.

I am losing the battle for dominance in the club and this is one war that I have no fight left in me. I never meant for it to be created for evil as it has turned out to be.

But that's how it is now and I can't change it. Long after I'm gone it will fall to its own demise that I am sure of. But don't let it take you with it brother. Know when it's time to retreat and when it's time to stand for the fight.

If I am not there, watch your back brother and watch over my Jackson. He is the light of my life and all that is good in it. Because if your reading this I have already joined my sweet Thomas.

.

I'll see you on the other side.

.

JT

Both Jackson and Opie were doing a lot of soul searching. Looking for the right answers not wanting to end up like their fathers but not willing to let the club die either. Walking away was one thing but it was a part of them and they would die with it.

Happy was searching the cabinets and found Piney's stash of Tequila, his favorite. Happy poured everyone a glass "To Piney and JT." They all took their shots to honor their fallen brothers.

Opie and Jackson were more restless than the others. They were tinkering around in the garage to keep themselves busy and not to have time to think about the things that are weighing heavily on them.

Something was covered up in the corner. Opie had not noticed it before and he took off the tarp "Holy shit this is JT's bike." The same bike that was kept in the clubhouse of the Sons.

Jackson couldn't help but to touch it "How do you think the old man pulled this off?"

Opie was all smiles "With Pops who in the hell knows."

Piney had went to the clubhouse and taken it. Setting across the street drinking and waiting for Clay to leave. Then Piney waltzed into the garage like he was still a member and ordered the workers to load it up for him. When they questioned him, Piney took out his forty five from Vietnam and asked them if they were ready to die for that bike because he was. They all knew Piney was a crazy old man that meant what he said and loaded it up for him. Hoping not to face the same consequences when Clay returned. It was Piney's way of having JT's back one final time and the bike belonged wherever Jackson called home not to the Sons that remained.

There was an envelope marked Jackson on it. Jackson opened it up afraid of what shit he was going to learn now.

Jax,

.

Your father loved this bike. Other than you and Thomas it was the only thing that always brought a smile to his face.

.

When you go on the annual run JT will be there with you. You ride it with pride boy.

Piney

After showing Opie the note Jackson folded it up and stuck it in his back pocket. Jackson touched the bike before covering it back up "You'll both be with me. Love you old man."

They were putting their black shirts on, arms bands and cuts. Opie had Piney's denim cut in his hand. It will be buried with him. There will only be a grave side service held, closed casket for both Mary and Piney.

Jax and the crew rode to meet Jacob with Lila, Cherry and the kids. Jackson got off his bike and thanked the wolves for doing the ride along. Jacob, Jared, Quill and Embry offered to stay and go with them. They knew Jackson was outnumbered "Nah, I can't let you guys do that. I appreciate everything."

Then Jackson tossed them each an envelope. Inside was a thousand dollars for each of them "That's for your educations. No getting drunk or laid with it on the ride back." They all laughed but Jackson was serious.

Then Jackson handed Jacob two more envelopes "Make sure to thank Sue and Billy for me." This was the only way Jackson knows how to compensate anything, with money.

Riding to the next destination; Bella and Abel. When they met up with them Jackson got off his bike and so did Happy with Opie behind him. They weren't sure what was going on but they didn't want to chance a fight between Jackson and Emmett. But nothing took place. Emmett was honoring their agreement as well. They were around the club so he acted as though he didn't see Jackson kissing Bella. Even though Emmett feels the same way Jackson does; it kills him to watch it.

Cherry and the kids were not going to the service. Opie's kids have had enough traumas in their lives already and Abel is too small. None of them thought it was safe for the kids to be close by either. Cherry was going to watch them and Emmett was going to stay with her. Sac felt better with Cherry being pregnant not going.

Charlie and Bella were riding with Lila to the service. Charlie felt way over dressed because he wore a suit and tie even though Bella told him not to. They were following behind the bikes which out of respect Opie led this ride.

Arriving at the cemetery there was already about fifty bikes parked with Sons riders standing by the burial grounds to honor their fallen brother too. On the other side were five police cars with Deputy Hale on standby.

Hale was not going to allow a shootout in Charming. There were so many rumors of what had happened between Jackson and Clay but he didn't care. Hale takes his job seriously of protecting the people of the town and has never liked the Sons. Knowing of their illegal ways and that his own Chief of Police protects and covers up their every move.

Jackson went over to see why Hale was here "We're just here to keep the peace. Nothing will happen inside Charming is that clear. Please send my regards to Opie." With that Jackson walked away because there was no love loss between those two either.

Walking up to where the rest of the Sons were no one crossed the line of the side they were standing on except Bobby. Genuinely wanting to pay his respects he approached Opie "I'm so sorry brother." Opie hugged Bobby back. Then Bobby went back to stand with Clay, the side he chose to be on. Clay didn't like that little display he just witnessed. But this wasn't the time and place to discuss it.

Opie went to Piney's casket and laid the cut on top of it "I love you Pops." Then he went back to Jackson's side so the service could start.

But before that could happen Clay went to the casket to touch Pineys cut. This was a tradition of the President that has always been performed in the club. Before Clay's hand ever reached the cut Opie grabbed his arm "Touch it and you fucken die right here, witnesses or not."

This was what Jackson had prepared them all for, brother fighting against brother. It was time to stand their ground and protect Opie. It didn't matter to any of them that it would be six on one they would fight to their death to fall with honor side by side.

Jackson told Bella and Lila to leave, take Charlie too. The girls knew what was coming and went towards the car. But Charlie didn't care either. Bella is all he has left and he would protect her no matter what. The police was coming with Hale leading them and their guns drawn. They too knew what was coming next.

Charlie walked up to Opie "Son you don't want to do this. Don't let them dishonor your father today." Opie was trying to control his rage and let go of Clay. He didn't want every ones last memory of Piney to be this.

Clay had to show his authority right now or the others would lose respect for him too. Clay couldn't even believe that Jackson would bring a cop to this or let him near the club. Clay knew who Charlie was because he did his homework. So he decided to make an example out of Charlie which in return would show Jackson turning into a rat too and can't be trusted.

To Clay this was going to be a win win situation for him "Jax went and got himself a little cop friend. Jax must have turned rat that's all I can come up with. So tell me how's Renee and my daughter?"

I hope you enjoyed reading me.


	24. Chapter 24

**CHARMING PD**

Charlie could not stand for Clay to talk about Renee and Bella. When he came here it was to protect Bella and right or wrong that is what he is going to do. Losing Renee was hard on Charlie and it made changes within him. There was that chance he would have to walk on the wrong side of the law and that is exactly what was happening now. Charlie whispered to himself "Please forgive me." Then he threw a punch at Clay. Clay fell backwards never expecting that to come from Charlie, taken completely off guard.

That caused a chain reaction needless to say. Opie head butted Tig in the face and they were fighting the only way they knew how, bloody. The others followed accordingly except Jackson. He was dragging Charlie off Clay for two reasons. The first was he didn't want Charlie to get into trouble and the other was Clays ass belonged to Jackson.

As chaos often follows the Sons today was no different. When Hale fired shots in the air the fighting ceased and the arrests began. Charlie, Jackson, Opie, Juice, Happy, Half Sac, Koz, Clay, Tig, Bobby, Chibbs and other Sons were handcuffed. Hale was walking by them as they were lying on the ground "I will not have this shit in my town. It's about time the Sons learn that you are not above the law."

One of the deputies was searching them for weapons when he came to Charlie. He found a forty five caliber gun and his badge "Hale you need to see this."

Hale was going through Charlie's wallet too and saw pictures of Isabella in there. Hale was at a loss at how Jackson Tellers old lady could mean something to a cop unless he is dirty too "Do you want to tell me why you are so far out of your jurist diction Chief Swan?"

Charlie knows all about the law and what his rights are "I was here paying my respects. I have all the necessary permits and a badge to carry a weapon anywhere at any time. So charge me with something or let me go."

Hail didn't like someone challenging his authority in his town "Charles Swan you're under arrest for distrusting the peace and assault."

This was the first time that Charlie has been on the other side of the cuffs "That won't stick when I go before the judge and you know it. I was in fear for my life." With the last words that Charlie said; Hail knew exactly what Charlie would plead when going before the judge. When the words are uttered, I was in fear for my life, it is automatically considered self-defense. When a fellow cop utters those words no one usually challenges them.

However some of the other Sons are not going to be as lucky. Some of them still have other criminal charges pending and some on probation. Jackson is one of those. It's more than enough of a reason to keep him in jail for having a weapon on him illegally.

As the Deputies were loading them into squad cars Bella went to Charlie and Jackson "I'll get you out."

Hail watched and then approached Bella "You're the daughter I take it? How are you involved in all of this? You're an accomplice unless you cooperate with the police."

Lila and Bella refused to say anything to Hail. Old ladies know to keep their mouth shut. Hail decided Bella was the perfect weapon to use against Charlie and Jackson. Jackson might not rat but he was counting on Charlie too. Hail put his sunglasses on and called a deputy over "Take her too." Isabella Marie Swan was arrested with the rest of them.

That's when Jackson was struggling against being put into the police car "Hail you son bitch. She ain't got a fucken thing to do with this. Leave her out of it." Jackson was still yelling while three of them were throwing him into the car "I'm gonna kick the fuck out of you when I get out of jail."

Hail was smirking now "She's an old lady. Privy to all information about the club. I can put a twenty four hour hold on her for suspicion. We'll see what she has to do with it." Now both Charlie and Jackson were both pissed.

Booking all of them in through the process of being arrested one at a time except for Isabella. She was taken to an interrogation room where Hail was waiting for her. He took her cuffs off "I know who your old man and father are. I think you may not be a direct part of the criminal activities that the club is in but you know all about them. Now sit down and let's talk about it."

Hail pulled out the chair for Bella and she sat down at the table with him "If you do not give me your full cooperation I will book you as an accomplice to all the Sons dirty little club business. Don't think that who your father is will save you either." These were idle threats that he was throwing at her hoping to scare her into talking.

Bella has so much knowledge that she would never share with Hail. She has carried the burden of the secrets of the vampires and wolves for a long time. Standing up against whatever comes along with knowing that secret too. She will do the same for the bikers because she would never rat on the ones she loves. But Bella thought Hail was referring to Clay when he was speaking about her father. It's well known that Clay has the police department in his back pocket "Don't you ever call that son of bitch my father. I don't know anything so charge me or let me go." Hail could see that he wasn't going to get anywhere with Bella and her back ground was squeaky clean when he ran her.

Hail didn't understand everything that was going on but it didn't take him long to find out. After talking with Police Chief Unser he figured out why Charlie Swan was here in Charming. Clay Morrow is Isabella's real father. Unser wanted all the charges dropped against Clay and his crew but Hail refused to back down "For once can you uphold your badge and stop protecting Clay. I'm going to be the chief in a few months when you retire and there is no way in hell I'm dropping the charges against them. I'm the arresting officer so try to release them and I'll have your badge today." Hail was having his own fight to become the new King in his world too. Unser has always been bought by the Sons and they have always done whatever they wanted. The Sons own Charming and have literally gotten away with murder. Hail plans on changing that when he becomes the new chief of police.

It didn't take long for the word to spread about what happened to the MC in town. Jacob Hail, Mayor of Charming and David's brother, came into the police station wanting to know what happened. The Sons had pissed on and stopped many of Jacob's investments to improve Charming and to make money. The Sons liked Charming having no new outsiders in their town. Outsiders brought problems for the Sons to operate their illegal activities and they did whatever was necessary for that not to happen.

Hale took his brother into his office and told him everything. Jacob was not above doing what it took to make things happen that he wanted "Maybe we can use this to our advantage." Hale always wanted to get all of the Sons gone from Charming but according to the law. They made an agreement all of their own. Handle the worse of the two evils now and then deal with the other.

After a phone call was received from the Mayor, Police Chief Unser is now under investigation. Unser has been suspended from the force for thirty days while conducting an investigation of the charges brought against him.

Charlie was sitting in a jail cell with outlaws, felonies and cold blooded killers. Juice went over and sat down by Charlie "Being here isn't so bad but the food really sucks. Have you ever been arrested before?"

Charlie gave Juice a look "Guess not huh with being a cop and all."

Jackson was ignoring what was going on around him. This was one more time that he put Bella in his world and brought shit upon her. He wasn't afraid that Bella would talk but what Hail would do to her because of him and the life he's led. Hail would do anything to get to and hurt the Sons. In Jacksons head he thought how Emmett would never do this to Bella but then again there are a lot of truths that Jackson doesn't know about Cullens.

A deputy came to the cell "Swan come with me."

Charlie complied with the request. Resisting anything you're told to do only make things worse. But he did correct the deputy "My badge out ranks yours so you need to address me accordingly."

The deputy corrected his original statement "I'm sorry Chief. I didn't mean any disrespect to you."

Charlie was taken into Hails office "Sit down." The Hail brothers had an offer to give Charlie. They understood that Charlie came here to protect his daughter. What better protection could Charlie offer her than to take down the one common enemy everyone in the room had, Clay Morrow.

Charlie was offered a temporary position in the Charming PD as the Police Chief for thirty days. In exchange for his cooperation of fighting against the devil himself, Clay. At the end of thirty days Hail will take his rightfully earned position of Chief. Isn't it amazing how fathers, bikers and cops are so different yet the same too. Fight for what they believe in even if it isn't exactly the law. Some are willing to take that a step further too.

Hail and Jacob are using Charlie as much as Charlie can use his badge to go against Clay "I don't know anything about the clubs activities. So I'm afraid that I can't be of much help in that department."

Hail laid out pictures on his desk. All of them were of Jackson, Bella or both. The Sons have been under surveillance for a long time. In exchange for Charlie's assistance Bella will have full immunity from all of the clubs activities. Hail will make sure those pictures just disappear.

Charlie could give two shits less about the clubs activities but he would always be close to Bella and be capable of protecting her "Okay but there is something that you have to do for me. Until Clay is no longer a threat to my daughter a blind eye will be turned to Jackson Tellers activities. Jackson will not be taken down on my watch, that's on you. That starts by dropping all charges and letting them all out. That includes Clay too. I want Clay to know there is a new Sheriff in town. That will of course be my first order of business." Charlie has his own agenda for Jackson and he would have his back until he completes that task.

Hail couldn't agree more. He wanted to personally be the one to bust Jackson. Let Charlie handle Clay. Handling Jackson will be Hails first order of business.

Charlie went to walk out the door "The first time you don't back up my call on Clay deputy is when I expose this shit to everyone. You think the bikers are bad assed you've never seen a pissed off father."

Jackson and Clay's crew were let go at different times. When Charlie came walking out in his new uniform nobody said a word. But Jackson knew this could bring more problems too "Jackson take Bella somewhere I've have to go play Sheriff for a while. All of the charges have been dropped against you and your boys. I'm counting on you to keep your word or remember what I told you I would do." Jackson stood there knowing Charlie was talking about Clay. But Jackson was not sure how in the hell to contain this fire that was coming with Charlie being here and in charge.

Hail came out of the building "Chief Swan are you ready to go?" Hail was looking forward to start pushing the Sons out of Charming.

When Clay and the Sons arrived back at the clubhouse everyone was questioning Clay's leadership now. But Bobby wouldn't just drop it like Clay was wanting to "This is yet by far the worst fight you've gotten us into. We fought our own brothers today. Other charters are already starting to doubt our lead and you know what happens when that shit starts. I want to know exactly what the beef has been between you and Jaxs. Don't even fucken tell me it's over your seat either because I know it's deeper than that. Did you know about Bellas dad being a cop? That's going to bring down so much more bad shit on this club brother that we don't need."

Clay walked away from the bar refusing to answer any questions "Anybody that is doubting my leadership walk." Clay was going to have to handle shit immediately or lose his crew. With the annual run being only a few days away Clay decided to handle Jackson and Isabella once and for all there. Then get back down to business with the Sons.

Some of the Sons were setting at the table having a private conversation among themselves when a knock came on the bar door. Bobby got up and looked "It's the fucken cops."

Clay went to the door "Come back when you gotta a warrant."

Charlie took a piece of paper of out his pocket "I happen to have one." He threw it on the floor at Clay's feet.

Charlie walked in like he owned the place "We got an anonymous tip that there are possible narcotics on the property."

Walking behind the bar and knocking every liquor bottle off of the shelf. Watching the bottles crash to the floor breaking "Well there weren't any drugs there. Where shall I look next?" Charlie was sending his own message to Clay.

Charlie went over to where Clay was setting and grabbed him up out the chair by his cut "Maybe I should check you personally."

Clay will be dealing with Charlie his own way when there are not so many witnesses "Check whatever you want to pig. I don't have anything on me. Besides the only thing you guys are good at finding is doughnuts."

Charlie shoved Clay back down in the chair. Charlie back handed him in the face as an insult to Clay "Are you threatening me? I'm pretty sure that's what you just did."

Clay then was thrown face first to the floor and Charlie kicked him in the side. Clay has never been treated this way and he won't let it happen again. Clay looked up at Hail "Are you gonna stand by and let him assault me deputy?"

Hail turned around so that his back was facing Clay "I'm on a coffee and doughnut break. I didn't see a damn thing." No one has ever seen Hail behave like this before. He is a stickler for following the rule book because the Sons have tried to buy him many times unsuccessfully.

Grabbing a handful of Clay's hair Charlie gave Clay his last warning "I'm going to take you down by using the law on my side. If I ever hear Renee or Bellas name fall from your lips again, I'll kill you." No one has ever walked into the Sons territory and threatened one of their own and lived to do it again. Charlie will have to watch his back now because he disrespected the club too.

Charlie and the deputies walked out of the clubhouse and all the Sons are in an up roar over Clay's leadership. What in the hell is Clay thinking was what they all wanted to know.

But Charlie wasn't done yet. They were waiting outside of the gate of the garage for them. When the Sons rode out onto the street Hail turned on his lights and pulled them all over. Charlie went to Clay "I'm afraid I'm going to have to confiscate your bike. Another damn anonymous tip was given to me that you're hiding narcotics in it. I don't know who you pissed off but man they seem to be on you like stink on shit. But look on the bright side maybe one of your boys here will let you ride bitch with them."

**JACKSONS POV**

After all the shit that's gone down today all I wanna do is eat and lay down somewhere for a while. Get everybody out of here while I still can. I thought I could take this on and win but I've got everybody fucked up.

Charlie has gone cowboy on Charming. I've gotta get him out of here before they deal with him their way. Being a cop won't save his ass when you piss off the club. He wouldn't be the first cop to go missing from the face of this earth never to be seen or heard from again.

Bella was worried about Charlie too but I could tell something was on her mind before that. I've been so busy dealing with all the shit I haven't had a chance to talk to her.

Opie hadn't said anything since we got arrested. I think the weight he's carrying and the damage that has been done to him by the club is wearing on him. It's not bad enough that we take the hits as they come but then we beat ourselves up about them too. When you can't let it go is when it kills you slowly and twist you up inside. I see that path of self-destruction for Op right now and I know cause I'm on it too. It's only a matter of time until hate is uncontrollable and bad shit goes down.

We didn't have any transportation back to the cemetery except Lila. It's not like we have friends here anymore or people that we can trust and could call them. She was taking as many at a time as she could and I sent Bella with her. The last thing I want is the girls in more danger. The others will ride along with them on their way back so they will never be alone.

But when it rains it pours and the shit just keeps piling up. When I saw Wendy coming it only meant more trouble for me "Jaxs I want to talk to you."

I wouldn't even get from the curb "I've got nothing to say so leave."

Of course she wasn't gonna make it easy on me either "Well I have plenty to say. I've heard all about your new little vanilla pudden that you're trying to pass off as Abel's mommy. I want to see Abel. I want to start having visitations and if you don't give them to me then I'll fight for custody. I'm his Mom and I have that right."

Wendy knowing about Bella means someone has been doing some talking to her. I can only think of two people that would even do this, Clay or Gemma "You signed your rights away. I gave you what you wanted. Nobody forced you to trade your Son for cash you junkie whore. You took off while he was laying there fighting for his life because of the drugs you did while you were pregnant. You didn't give a shit if he lived or died. All you cared about was getting the next fix. He'll never call you Mommy and I'll see to that." Yeah I know those words are a double edge sword from going through what Bella and I have finding out the hard way the truth about our lives. But as long as Abel knows the truth when he gets older I don't give a shit. That's one thing that Bella and I agree upon, Abel knowing the truth.

I tried to walk away. This was a fight I wasn't ready for and her coming back into Abel's life is worse than Gemma having him "Your one to talk Jaxs. You left the club behind took Abel away from his Grandma. Getting arrested again today being a criminal felon of a father to Abel. I'm clean now but you're still a felon and murderer. It's only a matter of time until I get custody of Abel anyways. Whether it's legally through the court system or your death because when I'm done talking the court will see what a piece of shit you are. Who do you think they are going to give him to, a Mom that went and got right with life for her baby or a murderer?" Wendy was told by someone exactly what to say and what to threaten me with. I know she's never been that smart but she has been around the club and knows a lot of the things I've done.

I grabbed Wendy by the throat "If you come near him or try to get custody. I'll burry your body so deep in the fucken woods nobody will ever find it." There is no one or nothing that I wouldn't protect Abel from. She knows that I mean what I said cause I would do it without remorse. Does that make me a bad man, yeah it does. But it also makes me a parent that will do what is needed to let him have a chance at life. I've never been one to think that a mother should be separated from their child. But being a mom or dad means more than saying the words.

Opie made me let go of her "What the fuck are you thinking? Were in the cops parking lot and all eyes are on us right now let her go." I wasn't thinking about anything except protecting Abel no matter the cost. Wendy left and I know it won't be the last time I see her around. Just more thing I've got to thank Clay and Gemma for.

**HAPPYS POV**

I needed to be on the road by myself for a while and away from my shithead brothers. I've chosen to be a nomad and love that life. I'm use to riding alone, living alone and always being alone. Jaxs argued with me that it's not safe for me right now to ride alone but like I give a shit about my safety. Look at the life I live and getting the name killer comes with a price to pay. Having someone you love in the club with you only complicates life.

He understood what I was talking about but in some ways I think Bella has made him soft. No pussy will ever do that to me and sure as the fuck will never tie me down. That's why I love a wife for the night then I kick her ass to the curb the next morning and get another one when I've got the need. I know I'm a prick that way but it's who I am. Let's face it what decent woman would wanna be with a man like me. I sure as the hell haven't found one yet.

I know Jaxs thinks I'm a real dick lately cause I've been fighting him on Bella being a part of any of this shit. I'm not trying to be a sexist bastard or anything, but she doesn't belong in it. She has this way about her of throwing Jaxs off his game and he makes decisions I don't think he would is she wasn't around. It's not that I don't like Bella cause I do. Women have a way of making you turn weak.

Flying down the highway felt so good to me and without worrying about the one that was riding beside me. I unwind on the road and it's my home. I'll meet up with the rest of them in a couple days when it's time for the annual run.

Stopping at a hole in the wall to eat cause I haven't ate since yesterday. Grabbing a booth a pretty little brunette came over to take my order and she was a fine looking woman. She totally took me of guard with her sweet smile and how she didn't seem scared of me at all. Most women that are not tied to the club somehow always shy away from me.

Her tight black t-shirt was clinging to her large perk breast. I was pretending to read her name tag while checking her rack. But when I actually saw it I couldn't believe what her name was, Bella "Is your name really Bella?" What's the fucken odds of that shit happen.

When her eyes met mine my heart skipped a beat "No my real name is Annabella. Ever since I was little I've been called Bella."

I don't know how I'm blaming this shit on Jaxs but I am "How about I call you Doll?"

**ALICES POV**

I was helping Esme decorate the living room when my vision started. It was only coming as bits and pieces. Normal it was a complete thought but not this time.

Jasper was by my side wanting to know what I saw "Victoria is not coming here to Forks. She going to Charming and we only have two days. She's targeting Bella and Jackson. How could she know about Jackson?" Jasper called Emmett and we are going to meet up with him. He's where Bella is right now.

It surprised us all that Charlie went to Charming too. Emmett wasn't sure of why other than to protect Bella. Bella doesn't know it yet but she is going to need so much protection.

Rosalie wanted to go along but Jasper told her she needed to stay here with Esme, Carlisle and Edward so that when we bring Bella back that they would be here if Victoria came before we got back.

Trying to come up with my own scenarios of how Victoria could know about him. The only one that I could conclude was when the nomads ran across Jackson when they were with the dog. But that doesn't make any sense either.

Jasper was acting strange and I could tell something was wrong but I was careful about what I said and thought until we left "Jasper what was that all about?"

Peter never left Rosalie alone until we left the house. I noticed when she moved he moved too "I can tell that the bitch is hiding something. That much I know but I don't know what yet. Since when has Rosalie ever wanted to do anything to help Bella? Jasper what did you pick up on?" I was thinking that she wanted to go because she wanted to get Emmett back.

Jasper was getting to that mode of kill and destruction, I always can tell "Peters right when you mentioned Jackson she was panicking. None of it feels right to me. There is no way in hell Victoria could know about Jackson unless she's been watching or someone told her."

Peter was getting into that same mode as Jasper; kill "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Jasper answered him with that authority voice that I only see when his soldier is getting ready to come out and play "That I am brother. I'm thinking war is coming and someone will end up being sent straight to hell."

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed reading me.**

 


	25. Chapter 25

**CLUBHOUSE POV**

It wasn't long after Clay lost his ride that Charlie had impounded, when Wendy pulled into the parking lot. Bobby automatically started questing Clay about why Wendy would be at the clubhouse "I don't know what the bitch wants. Get the guys at the table. We need to hold church and discuss our cop friend's fate."

Bobby was trying to rationalize with Clay the shit storm that was going to come down on them if they get dirty against a cop "Clay this shit needs to stop now or we're not going to have a club left to salvage. Fucking with a cop is a life sentence."

Clay lit up a cigar "Know where your place is and stay in it. I gave you the opportunity to step up and be VP but you didn't want it. So now the only rights you have is to vote at the table. He came into our clubhouse and made us look like fools. Your getten soft Bobby and you've lost your nerve. We kill him and that's the end of it." Bobby was tired of trying to keep the peace and make shit right. He went in to call church.

Wendy was pissed when she walked up to Clay "You said all I had to do was threaten Jaxs with Abel and he would cave. I would get my family back. He said he would kill me if I tried to get Abel in court."

Clay grabbed Wendy by the throat "I'll kill you if you don't stick to the plan. You'll do exactly what I told you to do or you'll just be another whore that died mysteriously one day. One that nobody will miss or shed a tear over. So you go file the fucken custody papers at the attorney's office. I've already paid him." Then he let go of her.

Wendy was coughing trying to catch her breath. Knowing that Clay meant what he said too "Okay I'll go file the papers but I better get my family back."

Clay went into the garage office and came back with a brown paper bag "This is for you as we agreed to. You'll need some money to get by on."

Wendy opened the bag and inside was five thousand dollars. Clay put his arm around her working his magic as he has always done "Jaxs is just confused right now about life. He needs us to help him. It's that bitch he has been hanging around. She's not like us. She doesn't want him to be a part of the club anymore and she turned him against us. Be that girl that he fell in love with again and show him that you can be a good mommy to Abel. You know I'm not gonna be riding much longer and when Jaxs takes the head of the table don't you want to be the new Queen? Hasn't that always been your dream Wendy, standing by Jaxs side?"

Clay was fucking with her emotions right now. Wendy was never strong enough to be by Jaxs side. A lot of their marital problems were because of the club and Jaxs not changing. When her drug addiction got at the worst point was when she and Jaxs separated. Not having anyone in her life she locked herself in the house and overdosed. Almost killing herself and Abel, it was the final straw for her with Jaxs. There was no going back and reconciling their relationship.

Clay was promising her things that he had no intention of delivering on but he didn't care. She was another puppy on a leash that he was leading around getting them to do what he wanted. But the one thing that Clay was not factoring in is Wendy's fragile state of mind. Wendy has had some mental issues that she has been fighting and they are about to come to the surface. This was her last chance at leading a normal life and getting her family back. Clay took out a small hand gun out of his cut "This is a throw away gun. You know who is in the way of your happiness right? You take out that bitch Bella and Jaxs will come running back to you with Abel. You can be a family again and you'll be there in his time of need to comfort him."

Wendy slowly reached for the gun and she has plans of her own if this doesn't turn out the way she wants it to. She stuck the gun in her bag. But when the Queen biker herself pulled up Clay told Wendy it was time to leave. Gemma would never go along with his plan if she knew Abel or Jaxs was being used. But Clay didn't care it was time to use whatever weapons he has against Jackson.

Gemma came over to Wendy "What the fuck do you want? You better leave unless you want the shit kicked out of you." Gemma never liked Wendy. She also made sure than everyone knew it too including Wendy. As far as Gemma was concerned Wendy tried to kill her grandson and she just as soon kill her than look at her.

Clay watched Gemma being that protector that she always has been "Wendy was just leaving. She came to see Jaxs but I told her I don't know where he is." Wendy never said anything. She got in her car and left. There was no way Wendy wanted to tangle with Gemma because she has before and always lost. Gemma is just a bad bitch like that. She plays to win.

Gemma was unsure if what Clay said about Wendy being there was untrue or not. She also wasn't sure of how Clay would react to her return. Knowing she had nowhere else to go she returned to the only place that was home and the only family she ever knew. Of course Clay already knew where Gemma had gone, to find Jaxs.

Clay put his hand on Gemma's face "I missed you. I've been waiting for my Queen to come home to me." Tears were running down her face as he gently wiped them away. She was the only person who ever had control over him. But like Bella with Jackson, Gemma could only reach Clay to a certain point too.

They walked into the clubhouse arm and arm. Gemma was welcomed home by all the other members as though nothing had happened. Clay called church. He gave Gemma a long kiss "After church I have to go for a ride but why don't me and you go get some dinner then make up for lost time." She smiled at him just like she has always done but wasn't going to let her guard down where Clay was concerned. Gemma knows exactly what Clay is capable of doing.

**CHURCH POV**

Clay took the head of the table to start their meeting. Everyone had questions as to why a cop was on them and what the fuck was up with Jaxs. A lot of the charters wanted to know why the Sons were riding as two separate groups now. So many things were being said at the same time by all of his crew. Clay needed to put a stop to this shit.

"At the annual run it will come down to Jaxs having to decide to ride as a nomad or come back to the table. There will be no other charter other than the Sons riding on this turf. Jaxs will have no choice but to sit at the table as a member here again. This bullshit DOA patch will be crushed and stopped once and for all. There is no talking about this shit either or voting on it. You're either with me or against me. Those against me will be dealt with accordingly including Jax Teller. I'll break him to my way of thinking or sentence him to a Sons exit." The rest of the Sons sat in silence. They too know what happens if you quit. There is only one exit from the club, death. But many of them were not sure that they could be part of the mayhem where Jackson was concerned.

They discussed their strategy for the run and what Clay expected from each of his crew members. They all agreed with him even though it was against some of their beliefs of what was right. The judge, jury and executioner had spoken when he banged his gavel. They knew they had better follow the words of their leader.

Except for Bobby that knew there was more to the story than was being told. After the meeting he planned on going to the one person that knows all, Gemma.

There was one more thing that needed to be discussed, Charlie Swan. When that decision was made for them by Clay without a vote too he banged the gavel to bring an end to their meeting.

This was no longer a democracy but a dictatorship and Clay was their dictator. When the others were leaving Tig stayed behind and closed the door. He was given his orders by Clay of how to make sure that Jackson didn't stand a chance on the annual run. Also what is to be done with Isabella after Jackson is handled. This is where Wendy fits into Clays plans.

Bobby was sitting out in the bar waiting for them all to leave. When the Sons rode away he approached the one that would know all the dirty little secrets of what was really going on. The first time he asked Gemma she tried to act like she had no idea what he was talking about.

So Bobby tried a new approach hoping that he could reach out to Gemma "Clay had me take five thousand dollars out the safe and wouldn't ever tell me what it was for. He said it wasn't for me too know then I saw him give it to Wendy when she was here. Do you know what that was all about?" Now Bobby had Gemmas full attention because there would be no reason for Clay to give Wendy anything.

Gemma went into the meeting room and shut the doors "I need to know everything that happened while I was gone."

Bobby was filling Gemma in on the murders. The way they all fought at the cemetery. How Jackson and Opie's reacted to them and Clay at the service for Piney and Mary. Wendy showed up more than once at the clubhouse and the chummy way she was getting along with Clay. He had also overheard Clay on the phone talking to an attorney about child custody.

Then came the questions that Bobby really wanted to know "What really went on between Jaxs and Clay with their beef for one another? Don't tell me is was Jaxs wanting his seat either. Shit was upside down between them before that shit went down. I'm asking as a member and a friend. We was ordered to bring an ending to Jaxs if he doesn't cave at the run and come back to sit at the table. Clay plans on having us take Jaxs out Gemma. I can't do that. I'm thinking of turning in my patch and transferring. If Clay allows me to take that exit that is." Bobby knows that nothing happens without Clay's approval. Clays plan was if Jackson didn't cave to his demands that by killing him the others will fall back in line without Jackson's leadership and he would be every ones ruler again.

Gemma set there letting the Bobby's words go through her mind again and again. This is what she was trying to avoid with Jackson, the inevitable with Clay. There is no way she could allow Clay to her hurt her son. There was no way Jaxs would willingly come back and sit at the table either.

Gemma never answered Bobby's questions "Do you know where Wendy is staying?" When Bobby said yes she grabbed her purse. Gemma came up with a new plan.

Bobby rode along with Gemma to the hotel out on fifty two highway. They went to the rooms where her car was parked first. When Gemma knocked on the second door that was the room where Wendy was staying. When she answered the door and saw Gemma "Leave I have nothing to say to you."

When Wendy went to shut the door Gemma pushed her way in the room. Bobby followed along but was getting a bad feeling of what Gemma was going to do.

Gemma pulled her gun out of her purse and had Wendy down on the bed "What the fuck have you done with Clay?"

Wendy spit in her face "Fuck you. For once the great Gemma feels left out. Things are being done behind your back instead of you calling the shots." That of course was the wrong move to make with the Queen. Gemma had a hold of Wendy by her hair and struck her across her face with her gun.

"I'm only going to say this one more time then I'm going to blow your ass away. What the fuck is Clay having you do to Jaxs?" Gemma has always been strong and never afraid to pull the trigger either.

Bobby was trying to get Gemma to let her up and stop. But Gemma wasn't going to do that. She stuck the gun barrel in Wendy's mouth "It's going to be real hard for you to talk when I'm done. No body hurts my family."

Wendy was struggling to talk then Gemma took it out "Okay I'll tell you. I'm supposed to fight Jaxs for custody of Able. It's to make Jaxs leave Bella and come back to me. Clay called me and told me she made him leave the club and took Able away from you." But there was more to the plan than Wendy had said. A few details that she left out but Gemma was enraged that Clay would put Able in the middle of this shit that was going on with Jaxs.

Gemma pulled Wendy up off the bed "Pack your shit and get out of town. If I see your face around here again you won't get the chance to leave. If I see you near Jackson or Able I will kill you." Wendy knew never to cross Gemma because she would do it too.

Bobby and Gemma stood outside waiting for Wendy to finish packing. Bobby took out his phone "I'm gonna call Juice and give him them a heads up to what is coming." Juice was the only one that would still answer Bobby's phone calls.

Gemma put her gun back in her purse "Yeah you do that." While she stood there she had picked which side her loyalty belonged to.

With one final warning to Wendy before she got in the car to disappear but Wendy has nothing to live for without Jackson and Abel "You know what Gemma, you can make me leave but when Clay finds out what you've done you may be on his side of justice this time."

To some degree Gemma knew that was true and already came up with plan "I can handle him. Leave and don't fucking come back." Gemma has always been one to mean what she says too.

**JACKSONS POV**

On the ride I was thinking about everything that happened today with the club, Charlie, Wendy and Opie. Watching Opie stand and fight without fear was a reminder of who we are and why we do what we do. He would have killed Clay at Pineys casket and never given it a second thought. Witness were just an obstacle to him. One that he would figure out later but that's one of the biggest problems we have; doing it now and worrying about it later.

Charlie only proved what I already knew. The love for your child will make you do things that you said you would never do or don't care what the consequences are that you must face for your actions. I wonder if Wendy really misses Abel or even cares. Or is this just a ploy to get to me and which one of them did it. I can only pray for Gemma's sole that it was Clay because I never planned on her being any part of this or hurting her. But when it comes to Abel it doesn't matter I would if I had to.

Riding to Cherry and the kids I also needed to decide what to do about Op. Should I give him time to step back and think or go full force to revenge. Until he gets that I don't see shit changing for him. But right now he is a loose cannon ready to go off and that in itself can hurt us depending on when it happens. Not that I blame him I felt the same way but had something to want to change my life for. Op just hasn't found that or realized it yet.

We were stopping to eat since I can't remember the last time we did. The shit hole we stopped at had Happy's bike parked outside. When we walked in he was talking to a girl with a smile on his face that's something new. We sat down with him and when I saw her name tag I was finding all kinds of humor in it but he wasn't "Well Hap I see you found your Bella. You might wanna be careful about getting to close and becoming a pussy." This was the same shit I had heard over and over come out of his mouth as advice to me.

He gave me that fuck you glare "Shut up." Then he smiled. Yeah the goofy bastard is in love.

Juice nudged me "Did he just smile?" It is a shock for us all.

I noticed Bella didn't have anything to say and seemed distanced "What's up with you?"

She laid the menu down on the table "When were you going to tell me about Abel? I had to find out through Emmett."

I wasn't sure how to explain everything so I was gonna try not to go there "That little pussy narked me out."

She got up from the table and was pissed "Don't you blame him. This is on you Jaxs." She walked out the door and we all knew that fight was coming. So I followed her outside.

"Look I know I should have told you but I did it cause that was my only choice left. You really think it's what I wanna do? But after what happened today it's a good thing I did. Wendy is gonna fight for custody and I don't have custody anymore. She won't stand a chance against you and Emmett. No court would take him away from you and give him to her. It killed me to do it but it scares me more for Abel to grow up with anybody that's gonna let him turn out like me. It fucked me up more than giving him up to Emmett. I love my son and Emmett is not a killer and a degenerate like me." She hugged me tight and told me everything would be alright we would work it out together. I can only hope that's true.

The look she had on her face was one I recognized "Clay did this didn't he? Let's go there and kill him now. I'll pull the trigger no court would ever convict me Jaxs. I don't want to lose Abel. I have already lost Renee and Charlie isn't going to leave Charming until Clay is dead if he doesn't get himself killed in the process. I would be doing the world a favor to kill that son of a bitch."

Has my outlaw ways bleed over to Bella? Am I to blame for what she wants to become or is becoming? Is she on the road to hell and am I the one that sent her on that path? "No, you will have nothing to do with it. You're pure and good of what I can find in this fucked up world. I won't have blood on your hands. Promise me you will let me do this my way." She shook her head yes but never said the words. I know that means she is just agreeing with me but doesn't mean it.

Juice came out with a worried look on his face and I know this can't be good "Jaxs I gotta phone call from Bobby. Clay is gonna wait until the end of the day when Charlie's shift is done then kill him on Main Street to send a message of no one fucks with the Sons." I know the ways and whys of sending messages but I can't let this one happen. Charlie came here to protect Bella now I need to protect him.

All the others came out too they already knew what was about to take place and was waiting for me to give the word "Let's go we won't allow Clay to do this. Bella stay with Lila."

Bella was being her usual self "No I'm going." Why does she always have to be so stubborn and purposely put herself into danger for no reason is beyond me?

Of course as fate had been fucking my world today and now was no different; Cherry was coming with the kids. She was holding Abel. Emmett had Kenny like a football under his arm and holding Ellie's hand. Piper, Lila's son, was taking a ride on his shoulders. I will give him that kids seem to love him. Kenny was telling Op how Emmett threw the ball around with him and Piper. Ellie got him to play tea party. As much hate as I have for Emmett I know I made the right decision where Abel is concerned.

But the others weren't far behind him; Alice, Jasper, Peter and Char were here too. That only means that more bad shit is coming my way. When Emmett needed to talk to me I knew I was right "I need to stay close to Bella right now. I think the people that are trying to hurt Edward knows where she has been and they are looking for her in Charming."

The shit just keeps getting piled on "Fine after I get back from handling shit with Clay then I'll come up with some bullshit reason that you need to be around."

He shook his head "No I need to be near and that means now. I have honored all of our agreement and I expect you to do the same Jackson."

I couldn't argue with that he's done everything I've asked. So we talked for a minute and put our heads together. The only problem would be getting the others to go along with it. But it was crazy enough that it might work.

As we were walking back to the others "Emmett do you think you can talk Bella into staying here until we get back? It's dangerous for her to go there.

He started laughing "No you're on your own for that one. If you figure out how to make Bella do something she doesn't want to do share the secret with me would you." A simple no from him would have done.

We split up and talked to our guys about what was going to happen. While we handle Clay the others were going to warehouse steal the guns and then we blow the mother fucker up. Our vote was to let them. They are so cocky let's see if they have the balls to back up their mouths. I let Emmett know it was a go and when Peter referred to Jasper as Major I questioned them being in some military. They are too young to have served anywhere.

Bella rode with me and Char was staying with Cherry. I just hope Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Peter don't blow themselves up. But Peter is supposed to have experience in this area "They don't call me Pyro Pete for nothing."

* * *

**Thank you for reading me!**


	26. Chapter 26

**MAIN STREET POV**

Jackson and his crew were riding no different than they had before to face chaos and mayhem. Fighting and death is nothing new to any of them. The only difference this time was Bella being along. It was making Jaxs nervous because he knows there are no lines that Clay won't cross to get what he wants. That includes hurting Bella. She is no more than a weapon to Clay against Jaxs. You always try to hurt them by taking away what they love or want the most.

With the clubs members, its blood in and blood out that makes or breaks the brotherhood. The blood in is the blood you take from whoever in the fuck gets in your way or the way of the club. Blood out is yours or who you love that has to pay the price for your turning on them. They will take from you until they break your way of thinking. If that doesn't work then a bullet to the head solves all of their problems.

When they stopped for gas Jacksons emotions were getting the better of him and he needed to say this to her "Bella I have never loved anybody like I love you. I know you'd be better off with Emmett than me and after this is over I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to be with him. If that's what you want I'll let you go this time." His mouth was saying the words but his heart wasn't really meaning them.

He needed her to know that for a couple of reasons; one if he died and two if that's what she really wanted. Jackson has done a lot of growing up and realized that you put the ones you love first instead of the other way around. It doesn't mean you love them more. It means your loving them right. This has been a hard lesson that he has been taught by Bella. Even a harder lesson learned for him when he saw her with Emmett for the first time. His whole world fell apart until he knew that even if he lost her that she still could be happy. It was a horrible thought to him but one that made it right if it made her happy.

Bella smiled that smile that makes Jacksons heart skip a beat "I love you Jaxs and I'm here until the end." But he didn't know which ending she meant and didn't really want to. It was enough for him for now.

He wanted to make sure that Bella understood if anything went wrong while they were in Charming to not get in the way and to get the fuck out of town. She had been with the club enough to know what she needed to do but, it doesn't mean that she will. Bellas hate for Clay has come more to the surface and more noticeable by Jackson. She was having a harder time trying to control it and hide it from Jaxs.

When they arrived in Charming, Clay and the others were sitting parked along Main Street on their bikes waiting for Charlie. Jackson saw Gemma walking down the street with Bobby. He turned his head away from her because he didn't want to see her face. The reminder of what she's done and why he is what he is. Mom or no mom right now she is classified as the enemy too. Because he doesn't know who he can really trust.

Jackson stopped his bike on the other side of the street away from his mother and told Bella to get off. He handed her a throw away gun "Watch Gemma and use that if you have to. I love you and always will." She gave him a quick kiss and watched them go to fight for what they believe in.

Gemma stood on one side of the street watching her son and husband fighting for dominance and control. Bella stood on the other side watching her old man ready to die if that is what it took for change. Her real father Clay, that she would never call that, fight for evil. Evil is nothing new to her and she had seen many evil and dark things that no one would believe it even if she told them the truth.

Gemma was having her own internal fight with herself. She knows without Clay her own spot with the club would exist no more. That if Clay was no longer King it would only be a matter of time until she was phased out and Bella would have to fight her to take her throne away from her. Gemma didn't care about the fight that it would bring with Bella because she would fuck her up if that's what it took to keep her throne. But she did care about hiding her own secrets, protecting the Sons way of life and her Jackson. Her Jackson is the only thing left in her life that she could be true to. Then there is only so much truth she could ever let him know.

Clay with experience and knowledge on his side. Jackson with youth and stamina on his went to face each other in the middle of the street. The others hung back but were ready to do what they had to do to take care of business. Clay was laughing in Jacksons face "You don't belong here with your little riders. Leave before I kill you right here in front of your mother and my daughter."

Jackson stood his ground and that need for vengeance was taking over his better judgment "I'm not leaving and I'm not letting you hurt Charlie. We have a score to settle you pathetic old man. Leave him out of this."

Then he shoved Clay "Bring it on bitch." Opie was the most on edge because his want to kill Clay was so bad but he knew he had to follow Jacksons lead as agreed. Opie's anger and the need to revenge his family was so great that he would be part of that kill no matter what. The only thing that ever brought Opie any kind of relief was knowing that his sweet Donna was with the angels watching from above over him and their children.

Tig was stepping up to handle shit because that was his job to protect Clay. Clay stopped him "Back off he's mine." Clay took his gun out and laid it on the ground then did the same with his knife. Then took his cut off "I think it's time to whip you like a little bitch and make you remember why I'm the King cause I always will be." Clay knows the only way to stop Jackson is to beat him down in so many ways and he was going to start here.

Jackson removed his weapons too and took off his cut. They fight by prison rules; there are none. Jackson knows to ever gain the respect of the others he has to take on whatever challenges comes his way with Clay. Jackson was ready to step up and take his new commanding lead. The others looked on waiting for the outcome because that would determine what move they made next too.

Once Clay and Jackson were face to face it was time to prove who the leader was and who was the better survivor.

No more than the fight began between the two of them a huge explosion got everyone's attention. With a huge smile on Jacksons face "I think that might be your guns bitch."

**HAPPYS POV**

I need to ride or run after we got done with Clay. I wasn't sure which one, maybe both. The club is the only real family I've ever known. But I'm different than the rest of them and won't stop until the mission is complete. After seeing what Clay has turned into and the shit he's bring into the club one of us will have to pull the trigger sooner or later. It's the brothers getting in the way that makes it hard cause I could kill him and not feel a fucken thing. I live by an eye for an eye and Clay drew first blood.

When the Son rode away to see what happened at the warehouse Gemma tried to talk to Jaxs but she saw that was useless and he didn't notice she was still breathing so she left. Bobby wanted to know the truth and Jaxs told him some of it but held back too. Bobby has always been known as the peace keeper when he can make that happen "Jaxs don't let your hate for Clay change who you are brother. You're not like him."

This was when we are the most dangerous when that killer and outlaw comes out to play. Now was Jaxs time "Yeah, I am Bobby. You either ride with us or you ride against us. Don't get in my way." Jaxs meant every word that he just said too.

Bobby had never really seen the new Jaxs like that "You kill Clay to stop him, I get it. But whos gonna stop you?" Jaxs human or normal side was too damn far gone to reasoning now, he's an outlaw.

Bobby has been around a long fucken time. If he's doubting Clay now and no longer willing to follow him it's only a matter of time until the outlaws bring Clays ending. This won't be a kill by the bi-laws that shit went out the [window](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=8069964&chapter=28/#) when Piney died. If Bobby does try to walk away the right way, he'll never make it out the door alive. He is more civilized than the rest of us.

Jaxs was trying to convince him to come ride with us but there are no rules anymore. Just servicing justice our way. I get why he can't do it but to stay alive it comes down to finding the killer in all of us. Out of all them Bobby is the one that it would take more of my killer side to kill but I still would if it came down to it. Its kill or be killed that's our life and how we live.

I'm not an emotional kind of guy and never show anyone how I really feel. Being on the road and the run is really the same thing to those that live our way. If you stay in one fucken place to long your setting roots and start to live that way. Never let nobody in and its never a problem. I see Jaxs as fucked up and weak when Bella is around. He let her in and she's in control of the direction he's going in.

I for one have never had the desire to be settled or make anywhere a permanent home. It starts making me strung out not being on the move and I start feeling weak. I know Jaxs was seeing it today from me and I was trying my fucken best to hide it. But he knew "Hap we can meet up with you tomorrow brother if you need to get away. Your head needs to be in this shit so you do what you need to tonight. You fucken know what happens when it's not. You get your head blown off and the rest of us too." As messed up as he has been lately he still knows how to handle shit better than I do. Killing is what I do best and what I live for.

Jaxs has changed since being with Bella. More rational and waits for the kill, almost plans it. They say the right woman makes you and the wrong one breaks you. But with Jaxs she broke him before making him better and I can't let a woman or no one do that shit to me no matter what.

Being a Son is much harder than anyone ever knows. You give up your life to the club or at least with Clay running it you do. Jaxs seems to have a different outlook on that. Some changes in a club are good but some will never happen or work. This whole a woman running things is fucken with my mind. Even though I know all the shots are being called by Jax but it still don't make it right in my head. I just hope he is smart enough to know the difference and isn't causing our own [slow](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=8069964&chapter=28/#) death.

Flying down the highway with nowhere to go but where I land. I ended up back at the same place I had started today, where I had met my Bella. No reason other than my bike took me here. It looks like my bike knows its shit too cause she was walking to her car and the place was already closed when I pulled up.

When I parked and got off my bike I noticed three guys walking behind her. Since it was dark outside they were following her at a safe distance so I know they are up to no fucken good "Hey". I said it loud enough that not only did they hear me but she did too. When she turned around she was startled by them you could tell.

Being a Son always guarantees that some asshole has to prove how tough he is by thinking he can whip your ass. Looks like tonight is no fucken different than its always been "This doesn't concern you biker boy. In case you haven't noticed there is three of us and only one of you so take your trailer white trash ass and leave. Before we decide to fuck you up." Why they always have to go to calling us white trash I don't fucken know.

I was amused by them until the one of them touched her. I wouldn't let that happen to a woman that I didn't know, let alone to the one that has been on my mind all day. Fucken more trashy women than I can keep track of or never remember their name is one thing. It's our way of life, pussy comes and pussy goes. But forcing myself on them would never happen. I gave them a fair warning and they laughed at me. So I had to be the outlaw that I am.

Pulling my gun and putting a bullet in the assholes leg damn close to his balls. That got their attention. The others were no longer laughing but pissing on themselves. This was my side that I'm in control of, staring a man in the face and watching him die.

Pointing the gun to the ones dick that had a hold of her arm "Wanna be next?" He let go of her and was backing away. He is smarter than he looks.

It was time for me to introduce myself and let them know the shit storm that would come if they fucked with me "They call me the Killer." I pulled up my shirt and let them see all my yellow happy face tatts for effect "I've got forty six of these on my body. I get a new one for every man I kill. Unless you want me to get three more take the piece of shit laying on the ground and fucken don't come back. If you call the cops on me, I will hunt you down. Then I'll kill everything within miles that you love, like or talk to." That part wasn't for effect. It's just how I am.

My Doll was shaking and it wasn't cold outside. I wasn't sure how to calm her down or if she would even let me near her cause of what she just saw me do. It takes a special breed of woman to love a man like we all are. After seeing that side of me let's face it why would she come near me? "Um…could you maybe follow me home? I'm kind of scared and I don't want to go home to an empty house alone tonight." That answered one of my questions. She lives alone. She was making me have others, why isn't she scared to death of me?

I was careful not to get too close to her or make her feel threatened by me "Do you wanna go for a ride with me? Is there someone that will be looking for you? It's probably not a good time tonight huh? I'll just follow you home to make sure your safe and then I'll take off." Maybe this is why I was supposed to come here. Not to get close to her but to protect her.

When I looked into those eyes of hers my walls were coming down around me "No I don't have anybody. I just moved here a few months ago and my neighbor is really my only friend. I have never ridden on a motorcycle before but I've always wanted too. Can we make it a short ride then you can follow me home?"

I held out my hand and she took it "Darlin we can make it anything you want to." I only have one helmet and I gave it to her. I could tell she had never rode before "Hold on to me and don't let go."

It felt so damn good to have her warm body pressed into mine. It's the Killers rule never allow a woman to stay around long enough to get use to riding with me. Hearing the excitement come from her about the ride reminded me of what I've lost over the years. It's like my second nature and I could do it in my sleep if I had to.

When I saw the lighting and heard thunder I turned the bike around to head back to her car. Small drops of rain were starting to come down and they feel like tiny needles hitting your skin making it sting at seventy miles an hour. Finding the first dirt road I could, I need to find us some shelter until the rain stopped. There was a field with a group of big trees. I know that's not a lot but it will keep most of the rain off of us.

Parking under the trees I was holding on to her. Her white shirt was already soaked and I couldn't help but to look. She smiled to sweetly that it took me off guard. The women I normally go for are a lot of things but sweet isn't high up on the list. I pushed it a little when I kissed her and she kissed me back. She was different and I needed to be somewhat gentle with her.

It wasn't the normal either. What the fuck is this woman doing to me? Maybe she does need to know and see the real me. The man that will send her running far away from me and not want to come back. I went to my saddle bags and took out two bandannas and tied them together "Do you trust me Doll?" She smiled and shook her head yes.

We'll see about that shit in a minute. I started wrapping them around her wrist "Still trust me?" When she said yes again, I'm figuring she's just fucken with my head now. It was time to show this little girl why I am like I am. For her sake, she needs to run.

After tying her wrist up to the lowest branch I could find, she was on her tip toes and could barely reach the ground. Going to my knees and wrapping her legs over my shoulders was the first place I went. Shoving my face into that beautiful pussy was like having heaven on my tongue. Feeling her squirming around and moaning louder with each stroke of the tongue that I made. Her body twisting from the tree in the lightening was like I was being given my own show from a sex goddess.

Saying she was wet wasn't even begin to describe it. But when I stopped what she did surprised me. Tightening the vise grip she has around my neck with her legs "Please don't stop. I am so close to cumming again. Make me cum baby. Nobody has ever been able to do that right to me before." Spurring me on it was and making my cock throb more to make this woman beg me for everything I did to her. I licked, sucked and fingered her clit until she was screaming things that I couldn't even understand. Some of it was the thunder and some was my own head shouting things from inside me.

With the rain drops coming down and falling through the trees hitting our bodies soothing them from where the stings of flying down the road were. I ran my hands over her. With the warm heat and the way her body responded to mine was making us both hotter than the warm sun could ever make us in the dark. The rain was helping cool us down and felt so damn good in the spots it hit. Her hair was wet and the silky feel of it felt good in my callused hands. She was rubbing her ass into my hard cock while I kept running my fingers through those silky locks of hers.

Every part of me said to fuck the shit out of her but I didn't. This was where I needed her to tell me how much she wanted it and beg me to. I stepped back where she could no longer feel my body "Tell me what you want me to do to you. I need to know that you want to feel my cock inside you." It's dominance control but with her I needed to maintain some sort of it in myself.

Letting out hard short breaths as she spoke "I want to feel your cock in my ass. Take me and do what you want to." She took away my control without even knowing she did. Most women think anal sex is nasty but she was wanted it and begged for it. She was willing to give it to me without my asking. Now I was the one that would have begged if I had to, to have her. But I didn't have to she wanted it as much as I do.

Holding on to her hips my cock was inside her wet pussy and it felt like she had started a fire down below. A slow burning fire that only she could put out. Smacking her wet ass was making my own hand sting and the shouts of ecstasy coming from her was felt all over my body. She wasn't with me cause of the leather on my back. Not the random crow eaters that hung out in hopes of saying I had one of the Sons in my bed. She was with me cause she wanted me, the real me.

Fucking her pussy and rubbing her ass to make the stinging stop I had to finish in her ass. She threw her head back against mine when I pushed about half way into her "Fuck your cock is tearing me in half." I was going where no man had gone before with her. She was where I never let a woman go either. I wasn't going to last much longer and trying not to rip her apart. I thrusted harder until I went to the point of no return. My final thrust shot my cum in her ass. I stood holding her to me until I was limp.

When I cut her down from the branch she didn't say much other than "What's your name?"

I told her Happy but she wanted to know my real one. No woman has ever asked that before but I told her "David." I haven't been known as that for years. The only one that still calls me that is my mom. Hearing it fall from Dolls lips made me have a strange feeling, something I've never felt before.

We made love on the ground slow and steady just like the rain fall. Feeling nothing but each other and cold wet grass touching our bodies. Laying together and talking after is something new for me. I kick their ass to the curb as soon as I'm done with them.

The air was shifting and another storm was coming. More than the one in my heart. My saddle bags had a couple of sweat shirts that were dry. I gave her one and we took off. We never made it back to her car. Hell we never made it back to the town she lives in. Today Annabella became Doll, my old lady.

**EMMETTS POV**

We were on our way to Charming to do two things. The first be close to Bella when the shit goes down with Victoria and the second to help Jackson get to his goal. The faster he takes care of his business the faster we take care of ours.

There should only be two Prospects at the warehouse and the others will be busy with Jackson. Jasper kept telling Peter over and over like a child "Peter we cannot kill a human. We are only to do what we come for then leave. Promise me that you will not bring attention to us and for god sakes don't eat them." I laughed to myself at Jasper treating Peter like Cherry did Kenny when we went to the store. Repeating herself over and over and knowing that no matter how much she said it he really wasn't listening.

Peter had that look on his face "Major I can show restraint and be serious when I need to be." Jasper rolled his eyes almost like Cherry did with Kenny too. We all know that's true and not true at the same time. But we have a goal and we need to get in and out without being noticed. In no way do I want the Sons putting us with Jackson and what he's doing. Not that I care about them or what they think but that ties us to Charming and Bella if Victoria comes. As Jasper has pointed out to us many times the surprise attack is still on our side with this as long as no one knows.

Jackson was right there were only two Prospects hanging around on watch of the guns and drugs there. We hopped the fence. That should fuck them up how anybody could get inside without cutting the fence and not coming through the gate with all the locks left in place.

Of course Peter wanted to have a little fun with them before we got down to business "Watch this shit." He blurred past the first one and pulled his pants down to his knees. Then ran by the other and smacked him on the ass with the guys own hand.

Jasper took out his cell phone and called the one person that has a great influence over Peter, Char. Jasper handed him the phone "She wants to talk to you."

Peter took the phone but didn't want to "I was behaving baby. I was just having a little fun with them. I know you have told me many times that playing with my food is not nice but since I'm not eating them I thought it was okay." We couldn't help but to laugh at him but after she gave him that stern stop fucking around, he settled down and the Captain came out to play.

We each had a job to do; Jasper would knock out one of the guys and me the other. Peter would wire the warehouse with explosives and Alice would have the guns out in flash. Needless to say we had it all done in three minutes. We don't fuck around when were on a mission well not everyone does.

We stashed the guns a few miles away in the woods. Jasper took the Prospects in the other direction so they would be safe from the explosion. Jackson wanted to make sure that we sent his message for Clay. With them all being on Main Street he couldn't blame Jackson for it but Jackson wanted to make sure that Clay knew he was responsible for doing it. I tossed the can of spray paint to Peter and told him to paint the sign at the gate with a huge DOA. Peter caught the can "Seriously hot pink paint."

I laughed to myself "Bella picked that out."

Peter rolled his eyes and painted it. Alice was excited "Wow, I really like that shade of pink." We all looked at her "What I think it's pretty. I was just saying." Only Alice would stop to notice fashion right now.

We met up with Jackson and the rest of the Sons. I think Jackson was either confused at how we pulled that off or starting to notice that we are different. He didn't ask many questions as the outlaws know the rules you never discuss your business with outsiders. But it was the look he was giving us as we told our version of the story that was making us a little nervous. Even Jasper was picking up on it and Jackson is smarter than a lot of people give him credit for.

The Son was going to go secure protection for the run. They didn't give us many details other than it wasn't safe for Bella to be with them. Which her being with us, was the plan that Jackson and I had already agreed to. That way the other Sons would agree to us being around without protest.

The kids and their women are to stay put and they would be back sometime tomorrow "Thanks Emmett for watching over them while were gone. I shouldn't be gone more than a day. The run is in two days then Bella will ride there with me and after we get through with that shit our deal is off. It's time for her to make a choice. You need to stay the fuck away from me or I will kill you. It's not that I don't appreciate what you've done to help us. It's that you're a reminder of what stands in my way to what I want. If I don't make it through it, there is nothing left for me and you to fight for. You get my family. But if anything happens to any of them while I'm gone, I will torture you before I kill you. It's just how I am."

Just the way Jackson is only proves that we are both predators of the night. We would die in the place of who we love and never have to think twice about it. But if you get in our way or back us in a corner we are both wild animals and will kill like it too "You may not believe this Jackson but I would rather die than let anything happen to Abel or Bella. When we both have accomplished what we need to all deals are off and we either kill the other or walk away." I have been giving in this situation and now I believe that it is time to let him know where I stand in all of this too. I have been in hell struggling for many years with what I am and have tried to overcome that. His feelings and mine are not that much different. We are both dead inside except for when it comes to one thing; Abel and Bella.

Jackson was saying good bye to Abel and Bella. Jasper had heard everything we had said to each other and felt what we were saying without even having to hear the words "Do you want to tell me about the deals you have made with Jackson? Emmett we all have to be on the same page with this. It's not that I want to pry but I know your all twisted up inside right now. I need to know that you're fighting for the same things we are and not to end Jackson later. I felt the hate and need to kill each other coming off both of you."

My response was simple for him "My deals with Jackson have nothing to do with fighting to protect Bella. It's no one's business but mine and his of what we have agreed to." I have told no one including Bella everything that our deal entailed and I won't until its time. I know Jackson hasn't because there is no way in hell that the Sons would continue to follow him if they knew the truth.

It was like sides were divided with the bikers on one side and the vampires on the other watching Jackson kiss Bella and tell her how much he loved her. Neither side knew how the other would respond to that but I would not interfere. No different than Jackson's time is coming when he would have to look on and not say a word either. Peter was the one that said what the others didn't "You good with letting him rub up on your woman. Aren't you going to do anything about that?"

I walked off to go push the kids on the swing "Nope, I'm not." I know what they think. They are right I am weak when it comes to her. But is it being weak or showing strength that it takes to truly love a woman. Some would say being weak makes you a pussy. I say being weak where they are concerned only shows how much restraint you really have or can master when you love them. One little girl brings a bad ass biker and a reborn killer to their knees with just a smile.

I was pushing Ellie, Piper and Kenny. They seem like they are affection starved and just sending a little bit their way means so much. Cherry was holding Abel and sat down on a swing "You know Emmett you really are a good man. It shows how much you love with your heart when I watch you with the kids. I see the way Bella looks at you and the way she smiles when she talks about you too. You're like her Prince Charming that has swept her off her feet. I never understood when she said that you taught her what the meaning of love is but after getting to know you it's easy to see why."

Spending time with Cherry for the last couple of days I have gotten to know her somewhat. Bella goes all balls out and never knows when it's time to stop. Where Lila seems to sometimes hang back. But Cherry is somewhere in the middle of that. I can hear the baby's heart beat slow down with just a touch of Sacs hand on her. Her own heart skips a beat when he touches her. If I still had a heartbeat, I know I would feel the same when Bella touches me too.

Bella came over and when Abel saw her his little legs were going ninety miles an hour. He held up his little arms "Mum mum mum." He tore my non beating heart out and by the tears in her eyes he had done the same to Bella. She sat holding on to him like he could get up and run away at any time.

Sitting down at the table with them "Are you okay Bella?" I knew the answer, she isn't. I held on to them both like she had Abel. Not letting them run away from me. If nothing comes out of this other than for a few months I knew the feeling of having my own family, then so be it. It was more than I ever thought I was going to have in this after life I'm living. I needed this as much as Jackson needed my help.

Bella asked if it was getting colder but I was really the wrong person to ask that. When Lila and Cherry said the same thing we all acted as though we knew it too. They went to get the kids dressed warmer and we put on more clothes even though we don't need them. To fit in and walk among the humans we have to do a lot of pretending.

They were all getting ready to leave to go feed the kids. Nothing would harm them with four vampires around them. I know I have nothing to worry about. Snowflakes were falling and that's fucked up weather for this state. It wouldn't last long maybe a few hours until it would melt away. I was thinking about having Bella out in the snow because she acted like the kids about seeing it. Alice came over to me "She will love it Emmett. We will make sure the others are safe. Go be with her." Nothing like having your sister see all the perverted things you're thinking about before you even get to do them.

Taking Bella somewhere as a surprise for the night was something she wanted and didn't want at the same time. She wasn't sure about leaving Abel but she knows how safe he is with them. I found the highest point I could, that is where the snow will last the longest. She hates to run with me so I drove to make her happy.

Playing around a little in the snow in the Jeep was fun. She wasn't scared and I saw that girl in her that I met a year ago not the woman that she is now. It's been so long since I had that feeling about her and it was getting to me. A few hours alone in a cabin was enough. The others will come up to the resort after they eat. Making love to her and putting Abel to bed together was a perfect day to me.

I can buy anything I want except for one thing; her. Money means nothing in her eyes. But always complains when I spend it on her that's a given "Em it's a waste of money to pay for all of these cabins for a night." She just doesn't understand that I would spend every dime I have on her and live penniless if that's what it took.

Bella called Jackson and told him where we were so he could meet us here. He had to once again remind me what would happen if I didn't watch over them. But he has nothing to worry about there. He also wanted to make sure I knew that he would be here before morning. That was a warning for several different reasons but I didn't give a shit.

Not being able to help myself I threw a small snowball at Bella. She threw one back and I didn't feel anything when it hit me. Chasing her around the Jeep not really trying to catch her but I finally gave in and caught her. Having her in my arms "We better go inside before I take you right here in the snow."

Talking about everything just like she and I always do. This is the part that I miss the most when she's not around, my other half that ask me how I am and cares how I feel. Rosalie was never interested in me only about her own selfish ass. Before I knew it the others were here. I can spend hours with Bella talking. But there are other things I need to spend hours doing with her too.

We stood over Abel until he was out and in a little world all of his own. I'm getting better about not being so worried around him and what normal behavior is. Bella went to get her shower ready. I stood in the doorway just listening to him breathe and taking in life. Wondering what he will grow up to be and how he will change over the years. That's something I miss most in this life we have, never changing, always staying the same way no matter how many years we exist.

I felt Bella arms around me from behind "Em it's time to let him sleep and you need to relax. Jaxs is right in a lot of ways. There is no one more suited to care for Abel then you are if something should happen to him . Believe it or not Jaxs has nothing but faith and trust in you with the most precious thing; his son."

That made me almost not want to kill Jackson later but, I still want to. The only thing that has stopped me before was Bella and now Abel. It was getting harder for me to stop being the predator that I am with Jackson. When something or someone is threatening to take away what you love you strike and kill what you have to in order to keep it. But after I held Abel and was the one responsible for him, that all changed. Nothing was more important to me than protecting him and making sure he had what he needed; Jackson his father. I am old in my years in this life but young when I'm with Bella and Abel.

Starting the fire when Bella went into take a shower was for her. My cold body could never help warm her up but I was hell bent on trying to. The deck overlooked the back side scenery and it was pretty with the light blanket of snow that was still falling. The snow was sticking to my bare chest and it felt normal to me but comforting in a way. She could never take being outside in this but when I fired up the hot tub it was going to help make my body temperature closer to hers. Flipping on the deck lights gave a snowy reflection off the bubbling water. That is the way I feel when I'm with her. Bubbly and happy like I never have before.

The steam coming from the tub gave a warm sensation to my body like when I touch her. When she came to the door still in her towel, I took it off of her. She was shivering and her teeth started to chatter. But we sank in the hot water together she gave out a breath of awe. She wasn't the only one in awe right now.

We sat side by side watching the snow falling around us but feeling the heat building. I dunked under the water not needing to take in a breath because I don't have lungs anymore. Feeling her warm body on my face makes my cock harder. The splashing and thrashing she was doing only made me need to feel her more.

Putting Bella straddling my lap. We kissed and our tongues exploring the parts of our bodies that was out of the water. Warm lips and her hot tongue licking across my chest I needed more from her. Her hair speckled white from the snow falling. I grabbed it. Pulling her by her hair until her neck was to my lips. Feeling her pulse of life on my tongue. Licking her ear lobes and sucking her neck made her rub her pussy on my cock.

Grinding herself on me until I needed to feel her be one with me. We didn't need to speak words the look in her loving eyes said it all to me. Her pussy was taking my cock in so painfully fucking slow. I felt the grin on her lips when I kissed her "Slow down Em. I need it to be my taking you this time." I let her take me and love me the way she wanted, needed to. Her body was showing me all the love she has. This is the first time I felt her heart trying to speak to me too.

I sank our bodies lower down into the hot water and she grabbed ahold of the tub "Let go of the tub Bella. Let go of everything and love me back." She had her arms around my neck and rode me like I was a wild stallion. So fast, so hard and so full of emotions until I could not stop myself from cumming. I shot my cum and all my love inside her. Then we did it again.

Setting in front of the fire I was rubbing her back and feeling more loved than I ever have. But I could smell him before he ever made it to the door "Jackson is here Bella."

She went and threw my shirt on when he knocked. I threw my jeans on and answered it. I know it's wrong but I didn't even button them up or try to hide it. I wanted him to know.

Bella came out of the bathroom in my shirt. Jackson looked at me and around the room. The blanket on the floor by the fireplace and the wet towels on the floor. How could he miss it "Solo party or am I invited too?"

Closing the door and looking to Bella "That's up to her." I did sincerely mean that. It's what we agreed to and its only if she wants us both.

Jackson being that cocky fuck that he is. Had that little grin on his face and took his wet sweatshirts off. He was only a couple of feet away from her "So babe do you want me to come play?" She looked over to me first and I shook my head yes to let her know it was okay.

I sat down on the couch and watched them kiss. His hands go to her thighs pulling my shirt up. She stopped him "Your freezing cold."

He is very comfortable with Bella by the way he touches her and moves his body with hers "Then why don't you warm me up." He sat down on the couch with me "Show me how hot you can make me Bella. Hell, put on a little hot show for us both." This is where Jackson and I are different. He brings out that hot bad girl in her where I show that bad girl how to love back in a cool way.

After going into the bedroom and coming back out. Its side of Bella I don't think either side has seen before from the looks on our faces. Standing before us naked showing us how she can love her own body and do it very well. Her fingers lightly tracing her skin over her breast and stomach. Tweaking her own nipples between her fingers. Then going where both of our minds already were, to her pussy. One hand rubbing and caressing her breast and the other using her fingers in and out of herself like our cocks.

Never having but one threesome I wasn't sure what would be acceptable behavior but I didn't really give a fuck either. My cock ached to be touched watching her and I started stroking myself. Looking over at Jackson he already had gone there.

Bella between us on the couch pushing a viberator in and out of herself moaning loud was driving me insane. Jackson was sucking her breast while jacking off his own cock. I went for her mouth. Slowly sucking me and nipping at the head of my cock with her teeth.

She pushed us both away and was walking towards the back door. Giving us a come fuck me look over her shoulder "Are you two coming or do I need to invite you?" We couldn't get out the door fast enough behind her.

Helping her in the tub she hugged me close to her "This is for you Em. Jaxs won't notice the temperature difference out here and you won't have to worry about all of our bodies touch each other."

Touching bodies it was too. Standing all together in water and the air hitting us there was no difference between me and Jackson, not that he noticed anyways. His body against hers and then hers on mine, even a few times all three of us would brush against each other.

When we emerged in the water her hands were on both of our cocks and balls. Taking her tongue in my mouth then turning to put it in his. Everything we did was the three of us. When Jackson entered her pussy she had her ass near my cock and that's where it belonged right now. Feeling Bella clinch her pussy down around his cock tighter when I entered her ass, her screaming for me to give her more and don't stop now.

We moved inside her together and I could feel his cock rubbing against mine. Cumming together inside her was a feeling like I never had before. We all three felt whatever in the fuck it was that just happened. Not moving not trying to be apart for some reason the three us shared more than our bodies.

When we took the party indoors, as Jackson called it, nothing changed. We lay on the bed and sometimes it was me watching her with Jackson. Him watching her be with me and sometimes it was all three of us. Each time I came I was ready again but Jackson being human needed a break "I'm a cum machine Jackson."

We exhausted her and she was asleep. Jackson got up and went into the living room put his pants on and lit up a cigarette. I put a pair of shorts on and went out there too "Does she know anything?"

He offered me one but it's not like I would get anything out of it so I passed on it "No Bella doesn't know Jackson just like we talked about."

Jackson went to go take a shower "Good let's keep it that way." That he and I agreed on that it was what was best for her.

Lying listening to their softer steady heart beats I smelled Jasper coming near. I went to the sliding glass door and he saw Jackson and Bella lying on the bed asleep. He didn't ask any questions and I didn't volunteer any information but I'm sure it's pretty obvious to him now. He could smell it too that we all had been together. I stepped outside so he and I could talk "I talked to Carlisle after Alice had a vision. Edward and Rosalie packed their shit and left without saying a word to anyone. I think you know what that means Emmett."

Everything makes complete sense now "Yes I do and don't think I won't kill that bitch to protect Bella either if I have to."

* * *

**This took me longer to write than I thought it would.**


	27. Chapter 27

**BELLAS POV**

Waking up to laughter in the house. It's been so long since it rang out and I had it around me. It was Abel who was happy this morning.

Throwing on some clothes I went down the hall to see Jax standing and watching. Emmett was rocking Abel and reading to him. His little hands were touching Em's face and laughing while Em would make different voices for each character he read.

Jax's face wasn't as happy however. He was frozen in place watching Abel and I could see tears. After wiping his face he walked away.

"I have to go."

"Jax wait."

Grabbing his stuff he was out the door. I knew this would come eventually. Jax would regret giving us custody and would have to see Emmett being around Abel.

"Will you wait a minute? Em is just taking care of him until you're done with this Jax. Abel is your son."

"Yeah he is my son. A son with a father who is a murderer, a killer without remorse or penance. Abel deserves more. He deserves to have a father that can be like Emmett is with him. Reading him stories and spending time with him instead of figuring out how to take people out. Then having to worry about what repercussions he will suffer because of it."

"Jax you..."

"Don't Bella. I know what I am and I'm the one that has made those choices. I gotta go they're waiting on me."

He was putting on his helmet and was fighting back the tears again. Wrapping my arms around him and holding him as tight as I could. Of course he was fighting me all the way. That's what Jax always does. His arms finally came around my body and he was letting it out.

"It's okay baby I'm here. I will always be by your side Jax when you need me."

"For how much longer Bella? When this is over will you still be with me?"

Before I could answer him Em brought Abel outside to the porch. He was walking slowly to us and I know Em heard everything Jax had said.

"He was calling for his Daddy. So I brought him out to say good bye to you Jackson."

Em always tries to be the bigger man. No matter if it is ripping out his non beating heart or not. When he handed Abel to me he went back inside. If he ever had the opportunity to have children, he would be the worlds greatest dad.

"I love you little man."

Jax saying good bye to Abel made me want to cry too. He handed Abel back to me. Gave me a kiss on the forehead and I once again watched my outlaw ride away. Each time I never know if I'll ever get to see him again or not.

Em already had started breakfast for us. He was quiet, almost to quiet. I was trying to help out but, he was on top of it.

"There is something we need to talk about Bella."

"What?"

Our conversation was interrupted by the door bell. Once I saw who was standing there I already knew what we had to talk about.

"Come in Esme and Carlisle."

We all sat down at the kitchen table while Abel and I ate. They were making small talk about nothing. I just wanted to get it over with so I got down to business.

"Victoria is coming isn't she?"

The idle chatter stopped all together. Esme and Carlisle both looked to Emmett. I knew the answer before he ever said it.

"Yes."

"When and where?"

"They will be in Charming within a day or two of the annual run. Alice is still watching Victoria's decisions. But there is more Bella."

"How much more shit could there be?"

"We have to find Edward and Rosalie. I'm leaving with Peter and Jasper. Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Charlotte will stay with you. We will meet up in Charming. Jackson gave me the address to the cabin he wants us to stay at. He said you and Abel will be safe there."

"Why would you need to find Edward and Rosalie?"

No one wanted to answer my question so I asked it again. Emmett looked away and Esme dropped her head. Carlisle was the only one who made eye contact with me. And it wasn't in a good way either.

"Why won't you answer me?"

"They have left the family. We don't have all the details yet. We are only going on Alice's visions. I spoke with Sam Uley and the wolves are coming now. We will need all the help we can get to fight against the newborns."

The nightmares I have had over the last year couldn't compare to the living nightmare we were all going to be experiencing. No place left to run or go. It was going to happen and there was nothing I could do to stop it now.

The Cullens and wolves would have to fight to their death against the newborns or they would kill me along with those I love. Jackson would have to fight to death against Clay or he would end up killing my family as well. Then it hit me.

"What does Edward and Rosalie have to do with this?"

"They turned on us."

"We don't know that for sure Emmett and until we do, they are still apart of this family."

"You can say it anyway you want to Carlisle. But we both know what needs to be done."

Emmett left the table and had no more to say about it. He was packing up and I went into the bedroom and sat down.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"There is nothing left to talk about Bella."

There was something off about Emmett. It was his eyes that scared me the most. Black holes of nothing. I've been there and know exactly what it means. The more I tried to talk him out of it, the more distance he was putting between us.

Em was setting on the couch waiting for Peter and Jasper so they could leave. I sat down beside him with Abel. Abel reached out for him and he got up. It came out above a whisper.

"I can't."

It felt like everyone I loved today was leaving me and not coming back again. Em grabbed his bag and without a good bye left out the door. Esme took Abel from me and I followed behind him. Jasper and Peter were standing at the edge of the woods waiting for him.

"Emmett wait."

"Go back inside Bella."

"Don't do this. You're not like them."

"That's where you're wrong. I am exactly like them. Go back inside and I will see you in Charming. I love you."

Within seconds they were gone. Carlisle was standing beside me and I have no idea how long he had stood there.

"We should go Bella."

Everything was packed and we took off. The drive was only making it worse for me. Carlisle and Esme wouldn't answer any questions and it wouldn't do me any good to even ask them.

We met up with Cherry, Lila and the kids. The Sons that were riding with them took off to meet Jax. We were to stay at the cabin until Jax comes for us. We would be protected but for how long? If Victoria was on her way with the newborns, no one was safe.

Everyone being in close quarters was getting to me for some reason. Charlotte came outside and sat down with me and Abel.

"He sure is cute. He looks like Jackson."

"Yeah he is. Do you want to hold him?" Everyone else had and I thought I would offer to her.

"No. I'm not really good with kids. I would be afraid I would hurt him."

"So where did Emmett, Peter and Jasper go?"

"I'm not sure."

"If you don't want to tell me just say so Charlotte. Because I know Peter told you."

"They went to get the truth."

"The truth about what?"

"About what Edward and Rosalie are doing with Victor..."

"Perhaps it would be safer if we all stayed inside."

Carlisle cut Charlotte off. The truth was staring me in the face. Edward and Rosalie had joined forces with Victoria to kill me. That was why Emmett didn't want to tell me.

"Maybe you're right Carlisle. With Edward and Rosalie wanting me dead too, it would be safer inside."

Abel and I went to lay down. He was ready for a nap and I was exhausted. The list of people who wanted me dead was no longer important to me. It was the people I had to keep safe because of me that really mattered now.

**(****)**

We needed to get food. I volunteered to go. Esme and Alice went with me and Abel. We made it a quick trip through the store. Everything was fine until I went outside to leave.

"I don't want to fight with you Bella. We need to talk."

"No we don't. You need to talk to Jax. I'm sorry Gemma but until he says you can be around Abel, you can't be."

She noticed Esme and Alice stood in front of the back door to protect Abel. Gemma would never get to him.

"You and I are not that different you know."

"We are nothing a like."

"You better take a long look at me sweetheart. I'm the very thing you are turning into a little more each day. In love with two men and can't chose between them. Your loyalty is divided and you won't give either one of them up. At what point do you think it is going to become a problem? Especially with my son. I was with Clay and JT where you are with Jackson and Emmett."

"Instead of worrying about my life Gemma, you should be worried about Clay. You know what Jax will do to him."

"Clay is being handled. Jackson will never get the opportunity. Just like you, I wouldn't ever let anyone hurt my family. See I told you we weren't that different Bella."

Taking something out her bag that was wrapped up in a towel. She handed it to me.

"I would keep it close if I were you while you're here. The serial numbers have been filed off so it can't be traced."

With that Gemma put on her sunglasses and walked away from me. There was a small hand gun wrapped up in the towel. I wasn't sure if it was a warning that something was going down or a just a precaution to keep me safe.

She wouldn't ever say what handling Clay meant. But I got the general jest of it. Was Gemma capable of hurting Clay? Did she already hookup with someone else who would do to Clay what they did to JT? When you look at someone you never really know anymore about them than they want you to. Just like the outlaws, vampires and wolves.

As we were driving back I was looking through the rear view mirror at Abel. Would he remember any of this? If he is anything like Jax and finds out the truth later, a lot of people have sins to pay for. Including myself.

Everything Gemma said was running through my mind and I couldn't shake it. Emmett was already getting Abel out when I parked in front of the cabin and I still hadn't unfastened my seat belt yet.

"What's wrong Bella?"

"Nothing."

The others were outside getting ready to barbeque dinner and it was us inside. After we carried the groceries in, I still had Gemma on my mind. Emmett was setting at the tabe playing with Abel as I was putting everything away. While I watched them life finally started making sense to me.

It was never about how much money you had or how big the house was you lived in. It was all about family and what you were willing to do or give up for them. Emmett would be willing to give up everything; his life, his family and his secret to protect me and Abel. Jackson, Charlie and at times I think even Gemma would do the same thing to protect theirs.

Then I had to ask myself what would I be willing to give up to protect them? It was the circle of life coming around. You're born, you live and then die for the ones you love in one way or another. It could be as simple as working your life away to take care of them or making a split second decision of giving it all up for them today. Dieing was easy, it's living that's the hardest part.

"Em can I ask you something and you will be totally honest with me?"

"Sure Bella."

"What is it like to... kill someone?"

"What is going on with you? Why would you ask me something like that?"

"You said you would be honest with me."

"Whatever you're thinking about doing. Stop it. If it comes down to having to kill, I'll do it and you won't have to worry about it."

"Em I..."

"Bella this conversation is over."

He went into the living room with Abel. Em had the ability to shut if off. To not be a predator or a killer. But be one when he had to be. Jackson had it in him too. The conversation might be over with but, the thought was still there with me of what I had to do to protect all the ones I love.

If I wasn't around anymore it would protect all of them. The Cullens could go back to the life they once knew. Emmett and his family would be safe again. The wolves could stay on the reservation in peace and not have to worry about fighting vampires. Which would let Jacob live a happy and long life. With Clay gone Jax and Abel could have a shot at a normal life. It become clear to me what I had to do for them.

After dinner we took a walk with Abel. Emmett hadn't said much since he got back. I wasn't even sure why we came out here. He sat down with Abel on a log.

"Are you going to tell me what's really going on?"

"You already know Bella."

"What are you going to do when you find them?"

"If I have my way about it, rip their heads off and burn the pieces."

"You don't want to do..."

"Bella I don't want to talk about it anymore. I am going to do what I have to do to protect my family. It's past just protecting you now. If they turned on us it could be Alice or Esme they come after next. I would like to spend a nice evening with you and Abel. Because hell is getting ready to break loose and I may not get the chance again."

"Okay. I love you Em and we will do this your way."

He held out his hand for me. Hand in hand we walked through the field together while he held on to Abel. Em bent down and picked a couple of different wild flowers. He sniffed it then held it under Abel's nose.

"Sniff it buddy."

Abel wrinkled his little nose up and Em tickled his neck with it. Then Abel was giggling. The way that little boy lights up Em was priceless.

Coming up on a little creek we stripped Abel down to his diaper and went down to our underwear. We went in with him. Splashing around like we didn't have a care in the world. Even though all of our worlds were coming to some sort of ending.

Em wrapped up a wet Abel in his shirt. He held on to that little boy like tomorrow was not coming. For us it may not. Leaning my head on Em's shoulder while we watched the night coming with the moon starting to shine bright.

"I don't want to but we should take Abel back and put him to bed."

We walked back hand in hand not being in any big hurry to get there. Cherry, Lila and the kids were already out.

"Alice would you mind watching Abel for Bella and I for a couple of hours?"

"Sure. Come on sweetheart. Lets get you ready for bed while Uncle Jasper tells you a story."

"Now Abel. You don't pay any attention to what the history books say. The South always prevailed and we ruled the war. When I was in Calvary as a fighting soldier I was the youngest Lieutenant..."

"Jaz don't you think you should be telling Abel a story with kittens or puppies in it. Maybe a little more kid friendly."

"Okay. When I was fighting in the war there was this old dog..."

"Jasper's story should put Abel out in about a minute."

"Where are we going?"

"I just needed some time alone with you Bella."

His big muscular arm was around my shoulder and I felt safe. No matter what comes our way I know I am always safe with Em.

We ended up back at the spot we were splashing around with Abel at. We walked down farther where the water was deeper. Em was undressed and jumped in before I even had a chance to get out of my shirt.

The moon was shinning down on his wet glistening body when he came up from the water. It made me stop undressing and just take him in. All vampires are beautiful but Em, was breath taking kind of handsome.

"Are you coming in?"

"Yeah I am."

Wadding out to where he was. His lips were cooling me down from the sweltering summer heat. Only this time it was so gentle and slow. His hands were running through my hair while his tongue and lips were devouring my neck.

He yanked my head back by my hair. For a moment I swear his teeth were out and he was ready to bite me. As fast as it happened it was over and he placed a another kiss on my lips.

Picking up my body from the water he let mine slide down his "Wrap your legs around me."

Carrying me to the bank and in the wet grass from the dew he laid me down. Bending my legs over his shoulders, his wet and cold tounge found the hottest part of my body. Em was taking his time and all my squirming around along with my pleading for him to be inside me wasn't going to hurry him any.

My hand went to his cock as I felt his long cool fingers enter me. He pushed my hand away from him and put it on my breast. Using my fingers to rub over my nipple. His mouth soon followed. Sucking on it when I felt a little nip from him.

The little nip went to a tight squeezing pinch on my nipple. Then a little smack came across my breast from his hand. A harder smack came after that. Then another. Em had me begging him to fuck me now.

"Not yet Bella. Just be with me and enjoy it."

Picking me up again I wasn't sure where this ride was going to go. When he sat me on top of the jeep hood and I must have looked confused because he backed away from me.

"Give me a show Bella."

"I don't know how."

"Sure you do. You did it for me and Jackson. Now do it for just for me."

If that was what he wanted I would do my best to satisfy him. Leaning back against the windshield I spread my legs open for him to see. My fingers started moving around on my clit as I rubbed my breasts and already hard nipples.

"Is this what you wanted? Watching me please myself."

He never said a word. But when his hand were wrapped around his cock and he was stroking himself, I knew he liked it. Using my fingers to move in and out of myself like he would use his cock to fuck me with.

Before I could finish and cum Em was on the hood and on top of me. His pace was slow at first and his lips never left mine while he pumped his cock into me. He wanted me to roll over on my knees.

Sliding around on the hood while he fucked me like I have never been before. I was holding on to the windshield wiper blade for dear life when it came off in my hand.

"Can I cum in your ass?"

We laid on the hood and didn't move while staring up at the stars. But it came to an end. It was time to go back to the cabin. Tomorrow would come to soon.

We checked on Abel and he was out. It wasn't going to take me long to fall asleep. Em wore me out.

Rolling over I didn't feel Emmett. He was sitting on the floor against the wall.

"Em what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I was just watching you two sleep."

"What's wrong? Don't lie to me. I'm the one person you don't have to."

"I would give anything to give you a baby. You know that don't you Bella?"

"You know it doesn't matter to me. You are a good man and always will be."

Finally I got him to come back to bed. I held on to him and stroked his hair. It wasn't like Em could shut the world out and sleep for rest. But maybe I was making him feel better.

The morning came to quick. Jax was already here when I woke up to get us. He was talking with Emmett outside and I could hear only part of their conversation.

"You do remember the promise you made me don't you?"

"Yes I do and I will keep my word Jackson."

"Good. Cause it's tonight."

"What's tonight?"

"You're up finally. We need to get going Bella. You can ride with Lila."

Putting our stuff in Lila's car Emmett was talking low "We won't be far away from you. Be careful and I love you."

"What was Jax talking about its tonight?"

"You need to ask him Bella."

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yes Jax."

Lila and I rode together with Jax in the lead of the guys. Cherry was staying here with them because she was pregnant and they kept all the kids too. The Cullens will keep them safe.

**ANNUAL RUN**

The roads were blocked off to the entrance. A huge man wearing a SOA leather stopped them. A bunch more were scattered around all carrying fire power. No one that didn't belong got in.

"Hey Jax."

"Hey."

"I need to search your trailer before you can come through."

"Go ahead it's only a bike." It was JT's bike that Piney went and got from the clubhouse.

They got waved through. Before they made it there they all pulled over to get the bike out. This was the ride they were taking for JT and Piney.

Jackson got on the only seat and was waiting for Bella. "How am I going to ride with you? There isn't anywhere for me to sit."

"You're not gonna ride behind me. Get on." Jackson patted his leg.

"In this?"

Lila had dressed Bella in a leather vest with the DOA patch on it. Also a very short leather skirt and black thigh high boots. Jackson lifted her skirt a little.

"It's okay you're wearing underwear." Then he gave Bella that warm smile that always melts her.

Bella climbed on his lap to make a their grand entrance. Lila got on behind Opie and then came the shocker. Leah got on with Juice. They needed Leah to help out and Juice asked her if she wanted to ride with him.

The wolves had already arrived and were serving a dual purpose. Protecting Bella, getting ready for the fight with the newborns and helping Jackson get his new patch.

The Cullens, Sam, Paul and Seth weren't far away either. They needed to be ready for Victoria and any surprises that came along with it.

Opie took Jackson's left and Jacob took Jackson's right as they rode in formation with the others following behind.

"Op the kids need to ride in so they can be seen and then you get them outta there."

"I got it brother."

Even though Jackson couldn't do it without his new riders. It was making him nervous Clay would try to do something to hurt them. Jackson couldn't live with one of the boys getting hurt or worse because of him. He had to already live with a lot of people he had hurt.

"Jacob take this just in case. You know how to use it and don't be afraid to if you need to." Jackson tried to hand him a gun. Not knowing what Jacob could do to someone was far worse than any gun.

"I don't need it."

"Just take it." To make Jackson happy he finally did.

"It's time."

Riding slowly down the row with hundreds of parked motorcycles. SOA patches on all of their backs. Brothers they had rode beside and fought with for their way of survival. With old ladies standing by their man.

The others stopped to park their bikes except Jackson. He rode until he reached where Clay was. The platform where all the Kings and Queens of the SOA charters sat.

Helping Bella off the bike then he took her hand so they could take their place. Clay never acknowledged them as they walked by him. Gemma did and shifted her eyes straight forward. Sitting beside Clay she knew what role she was expected to play.

Clay took the lead just like he always does "Welcome brothers. Tonight is our yearly meeting of club reaper. There will be plenty of beer and entertainment later. But we have some new business to present. For those unaware this is my daughter Bella. Beside her is Jax which you all already know. Jax decided to leave the SOA and form another patch, the DOA. All I can say is if we let a woman patch in, my daughter or not, we are opening up our doors to any woman with an attitude and a motorcycle. It will be voted on at the end of the night if they make it through the preliminaries. You know my feelings on it and what my vote is and that is no."

"Jax what are the preliminaries?"

"Don't worry Bella it's nothing you'll have to do. Just don't back down from Clay."

Clay announced the first event. Bare knuckle fighting. Tig was his boy and already in the ring.

"So who is gonna go up against Tig?"

"I am." Half Sac was taking his shirt off to represent the DOA.

"Nah. I want him." Tig pointed to Jacob.

"No. I'm the one that decides and I said Half Sac will fight Tig or I will."

"What's a matter Jax is the kid to scared? Is this your bad ass patch you want us to approve?"

Clay was taunting Jackson hoping he could provoke him into doing something stupid in front of everyone. Or would embarrass him enough to let Jacob fight. Which Clay was sure his boy Tig would win.

They were standing face to face and this night was going to be over with quick for the DOA unless someone took control over the situation.

"Don't think I'm not coming to take that bike back too Jax. It belongs in the Sons clubhouse."

"You can come anytime you want to old man and you'll leave in a pine box when you do."

Bella was trying to stop Jackson from doing what he would regret "I think we should let Jacob fight."

"Have you lost your mind. Tig will fuck him up."

"Tig will never touch him." Jacob gave Bella that beautiful smile of his and a little nod of his head.

Bella went to the edge of the platform "Jacob fights. It's my goddamn patch and I say so."

Showing off his abs of steel with his dark skin Jacob shed his shirt. Jackson stopped him before he got to the ring.

"You don't have to do this kid. He will hurt you."

Jacob never said a word and climbed into the ring.

"Tig likes to bite stay away from his mouth. It's street rules so there are no rules. Don't let him get you down because he will have no mercy on you." Half Sac was giving Jacob a run down of the do's and dont's of Tig.

They all gathered around the ring to watch and Clay was talking to Tig "Take him out quick. I want them gone."

The Bell rang and Jacob let Tig have the first punch. Only Tig chose Jacob's jaw and that was the wrong place. Bella laughed at that. She had once punched Jacob there too and thought she had broken her hand because of it. There was nothing like punching a werewolf in the face.

It was Jacob who had no mercy. Punch after punch then Tig fell. Jacob didn't stop there either. Once he had Tig down he kept delivering the punches to the face. Tig's face was bloody and his eye split open.

"Call it Clay." Clay had no intentions of admitting defeat.

"Fuck this." Bobby threw the white towel into the ring to stop the fight.

Clay light up a cigar and was running down the list of what he had in store for Bobby now. Even though Bobby was doing the right thing, he will pay the price later.

Jackson let out a sigh of relief it was over and climbed into the ring with Jacob. He held Jacob's arm up as the winner. Some cheered for Jacob and others didn't know what to make of what just happened.

As Bella walked past Clay back to her chair "I believe that would be one for my side."

The DOA made it through every event. Jackson believed in his crew and their talents. He and Bella were always strong when they did anything together. They made it farther than anyone expected them to.

Only the Kings got to vote on patching them in. Clay made the announcement "It was a goddamn tie."

"What does that mean Jax?"

"It means I'm gonna get my seat back. They'll vote again next month. We will just have to convince them."

As they went to leave Jax stopped where Clay was sitting "I'm coming for you old man."

"You won't be breathing much longer to do that Jax."

Smiling as Jackson rode away on his dad's bike with Bella on his lap. It was the first step to his future. There was only one thing he had left to do.

They were loading up JT's bike and they were all discussing what took place tonight. Except for Opie and Jackson, they were off to themselves.

Bella walked up behind Opie and Jackson. Hearing what she wasn't meant to hear.

"When do we do it?"

"We do it right after we get everybody outta here. With Tig out of commission, he will be unprotected. There's something I have to do first. Give me a minute."

Bell watched Jackson take a notebook out of his saddle bags and was writing something in it. When he noticed Bella he hurried to finish then stuck it back in saddle bag.

"Hey. You did good tonight Bella. As soon as I talk to Op I'll take you back to the cabin."

"It's okay you don't have to. Emmett is coming to get me."

After Jackson left to talk to Opie. Bella opened up his notebook.

* * *

_**Entry 20** _

_**.** _

_**The club would only laugh if** _   
_**they knew the truth of an old** _   
_**lady's real place in our lives.** _   
_**A good old lady anyways. I've** _   
_**watched Gemma for years** _   
_**master it and thrive on it.** _

_**.** _

_**But Bella has passed all those** _   
_**things and no other could ever** _   
_**compare to her in my eyes.** _   
_**They are not just our pretty girls** _   
_**that ride on the back of our bikes** _   
_**or what keeps us whole. Their** _   
_**job is to be strong in the places** _   
_**where we fail to be and have the** _   
_**smarts to know what they are.** _

_**.** _

_**When it's time for you to find her.** _   
_**The one you can't stay away from** _   
_**or live without. Let no one take her** _   
_**away from you no matter what** _   
_**you have to do to keep her. Don't** _   
_**make her fit into the club's world.** _   
_**You find a way to fit into hers.** _

_**.** _

* * *

Bella still didn't find anything to tell her what they were talking about. Until she flipped to the last page.

* * *

_**Entry 35** _

_**.** _

_**This could be my last entry** _   
_**but never doubt my love for you.** _   
_**You have filled an empty dead** _   
_**heart with love, compassion and** _   
_**joy.** _

_**.** _

_**If I don't make it back from** _   
_**tonight grow into a strong man** _   
_**and find your own path. Don't** _   
_**follow my foot steps or anyone** _   
_**else. Make your own way Abel** _   
_**and be proud of the man you** _   
_**become.** _

_**.** _

_**Don't fear the reaper. Welcome** _   
_**him in when it's your time.** _   
_**Today is my last** _   
_**dance with the devil.** _

_**.** _

_**I love you son and always will.** _

_**.** _

* * *

Bella wrote Jackson a note and put it on his bike seat. She took off in Lila's car.

Reading it Jackson called her cell phone and she didn't answer him. So he called Emmett "Can I talk to Bella?"

"She's not with me. She is supposed to be with you Jackson."

"No she... shit I gotta go."

"Op it's going down we need to get to Clay now."

The Cullens were a few miles from the run and had been since it started. Alice was staring off.

"Emmett you have to get to Bella. She went to kill Clay then she is going to give herself to Victoria."

**CLUBHOUSE**

Wendy was waiting for Clay when he got back to the clubhouse. "I'm not in the mood for you."

"You used me. I was never going to get my family back. I know what you're planning on doing to Jax and Abel."

"You got paid didn't you? Just like a whore does. Now get out and don't come back here again."

"This isn't over with."

Wendy went out to her car. Searching through her purse she took out her gun and laid it on her lap. She also found a hit when she was in her purse.

Staring at the needle and crying. She needed her pain to end. Tapping her arm until her vain was ready, she shot up. Leaning her head against the headrest she let the rush take her. Getting the courage up for her next move.

Gemma however wasn't going to be as easily handled "What was Wendy talking about?"

"Who knows she's probably just high?"

"I won't allow you to hurt my family Clay. No matter what I have to do."

"You don't have a say in what I do. Know where your place is. So be a good old lady go home and wait there for me. And you better be there when I get there."

Bobby came in to talk to Clay and Gemma walked out. Not looking back. She lit up a smoke and reached for her cell phone. The phone rang and he didn't answer.

"Jackson I wanted you to know I love you and Abel more than anything in this world."

Gemma hung up the phone and waited.

Charlie had done surveillance on the clubhouse when the dispatcher came over his radio "Chief Sawn we had a reported break in at the tire shop. Can you take it?"

"I'm at home and undressed already. Can one of the deputies do it?"

"Sure Chief. Have a good night."

"You too."

Taking a picture out of his wallet of Renee and Bella when she was little. He stared at it before making his decision of what he had to do.

Clay was setting at the head of the table making a run schedule for the next dope shipment. When they walked in through the church doors.

"What the fuck are you doing here? Put the gun down and let's talk about it."

Clay went to reach for his gun lying on the table. But he wasn't fast enough. After three bullets hit Clay in his chest. He slumped over in his chair, lifeless. There was no more of a fitting death for him than to die by the sword. While he was at the gavel. Just like he has always lived by the sword and used his power of the gavel to get away with it.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed reading me.**

**Now...who shot JR...I mean Clay? It was just time for that son of a bitch to die.**


	28. Chapter 28

**CLUBHOUSE**

It was total chaos with the police cars, motorcycles and emergency vehicles everywhere. The deputies were trying to keep order in the parking lot and to keep everyone out of the clubhouse.

By the time Charlie arrived on the scene Jackson was face down and in hand cuffs already. The deputy was reading him his rights as the other one was reading Opie his. They were found standing over Clay's body when the police came through the door.

The paramedics were still working on Clay. But there was no use, he had bleed to death. They called the time and brought in the body bag.

Gemma was watching her only son being taken out in hand cuffs and her husband being wheeled out in a body bag. What went down between Jackson and Clay would end up haunting her forever. Because it came down to the choices she had made so many years ago starting with JT. The blame fell on her.

The Sons stood there helplessly knowing what had to be done next. A brother was killed, their leader. Someone had to answer for it to the outlaws. Their kind of justice would be served and it would be served to Jackson and Opie.

Charlie was going to follow them back to the police station to book them for their crime. Bella got in his police car to ride along with him.

"Dad I need to tell you something."

"What is it Bella?"

"Jax didn't shoot Clay. I did."

"I don't have time for this."

"Why won't you believe me? I shot the son of a bitch in the chest. It wasn't Jax."

Charlie didn't believe her. He went inside the station to do what he had to do.

They had Jackson in the integration room "Chief. Teller wants to talk to you."

When Charlie heard what Jackson wanted he gave Jackson some advise "Son you should not do anything until you speak with an attorney."

"Just bring me the goddamn paper."

Jackson signed a full confession. He had acted alone and Opie was only there trying to stop him. Opie had nothing to do with it.

The deputy came in to book Jackson and then take him to his cell. Charlie was standing at the door "You make sure Op gets cut loose. Tell Bella I love her."

Passing Jackson in the hallway was Gemma and Bella. Both of them were trying to hug him at the same time as the deputy asked them to stand back from the prisoner.

Charlie was talking to Opie in his cell when they put Jackson in the one beside him. Charlie was explaining to Opie, he would be held until the arraignment hearing. With having Jackson's confession he would be let go then.

"That's not how shit went down Jax."

"Yeah it is. It's exactly how it went down."

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Protecting the ones I love. No different from you Op."

Charlie had a visitor in his office waiting for him "What can I do for you Mrs. Morrow?"

"You're holding my son for something he didn't do. I did it."

"Are you saying you shot your husband?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Then tell me about what happened."

"We had an argument and he threatened to kill me. If you knew Clay he doesn't just make threats. He carries through on them. I thought maybe if he knew I wasn't scared of him he would back off. So I went in to talk to him and the conversation got heated. I was scared for my life. I reached for my gun and It went off. My son came in after that."

"You were scared for your life and killed him in self-defense."

"Yes."

"Mrs. Morrow I know you have to be under some stress. From everything that has gone on. But your son gave a full confession of the murder. Down to the last detail of it."

"Jackson is just trying to protect me."

"Where did you shot Clay at?"

"I'm not sure. It all happened so fast."

"Why don't I send a deputy to follow you home to make sure you get there okay. As it stands Jackson will be charged with the murder."

It wasn't just Gemma that had some confessing to do. So did Bella "Jax didn't do it. Why won't you listen to me?"

Charlie slammed his office door shut. He grabbed Bella rougher than he planned to "You better be listening to me and listening good. Do you know how many years you could get for just saying you were there? I was at the clubhouse. You're to never talk about this again."

After realizing what he had done, Charlie let go of her "I'm sorry Bella. You are the only thing I have left. My only family. I won't lose you. The Cullen boy is here for you. You should go."

"Can I see Jax?"

"No I'm sorry but you can't."

Walking slowly out of Charlie's office. Bella had to go face Emmett with what she had done. He had to know by now what she was planning to do. Alice must have seen it and that's why he was there for her.

One of the deputies plopped a folder down on Charlie's desk. The hearing for Jackson was scheduled for a couple of days from now. The nights events were running through Charlie's mind. As he read the police report and saw pictures of the crime scene.

"Deputy Stein."

"Yes Chief."

"Would you take Opie Winston to the interrogation room for me?"

"Sure Chief."

When Charlie told one of them to do something. It wasn't ever questioned as to why it was being done. Jackson saw them taking Opie from his cell and Charlie stayed behind. The key was turning in the lock to open the door.

"I don't like where this is going Charlie."

"That would be Chief Swan to you." As he walked inside Jackson's cell and slammed the door closed behind him.

"Fine. I don't like where this shit is going Chief Swan."

"Your arraignment hearing is in two days. You will be charged with Clay's murder then taken to the County Jail."

"It not somewhere I haven't been before."

"I'm sure its not. But I won't have access to you once they take you there. Tomorrow night the back door will be unlocked when I leave here. So will your cell. I suggest you disappear to never be seen again."

"Why? So I can get shot in the back for trying to escape."

"I'm trying to give you a break son. It will be the only one you get."

"Why would you do that for me?"

"If you think love makes you do crazy things, your children will make you do crazier."

**BELLA POV**

The ride back was very quiet. Emmett hadn't said a word or even looked at me.

"Where's Abel?"

"He is with Carlisle and Esme."

"Are you mad?"

"Mad doesn't even begin to describe it."

We were almost out of Charming when Emmett stopped the jeep "The others and wolves are going to meet us here."

We got out and Em ignored me. Not that I didn't deserve it but, I wasn't going to let him get away with it. Because he wouldn't me.

"Yell at me or something. But stop with the silent treatment."

"You're not a killer Bella. I heard what you said to Charlie. You took all the blame for something you couldn't do. If something would have happened to you or you would have been arrested; you were leaving me and Abel behind. You didn't even stop to think what it would have done to us did you? With Jackson in jail, Abel needs you more than ever before. When I thought you were going to sacrifice yourself to Victoria, I lost it."

"You, your family, the wolves, Jackson and Abel is all I have thought about. It's why I did it. To protect my family and the ones I love just like you. How can you be so sure I wasn't the one who killed Clay?"

"You don't have the look of a killer."

"What?"

"If you want to know what a real killer looks like. Look at me, Jasper, Peter, Charlotte or Jackson."

"That doesn't make any sense Em."

"You don't see the real us. Someone who has killed, shows sorrow in their eyes without even knowing it. You're still pure and good. Don't taint it or do something you will regret for the rest of your life."

Emmett was trying to tell me something I just wasn't getting. I didn't know what to say to him. Resting his head on the hood of his jeep. I went to stroke his hair like I always do when he grabbed my hand.

"You wouldn't want to be around me if you knew the things I've done."

"That's ridiculous Emmett."

"When I was a newborn I had no self control. One day I got out of the house and away from everyone. Getting blood was all I thought about and wanted. There was a little boy. He was playing out in the front yard alone. He was only eleven years old. Everyday I see his face. I have to live with it for an eternity."

The Cullens had already arrived and were keeping there distance from us "So what do you think of me now Bella? It's the reason I can't have any children. It's Gods way of punishing me for what I've done."

"That is enough Emmett."

"Stay out of this Carlisle."

"The wolves are near. You pull your self together son."

Carlisle was talking so low to Emmett I couldn't hear what they were saying. Esme brought Abel to me.

"He's missed you."

We waited as the wolves came out of the woods. They were nervous because they didn't show up in their human forms.

Jacob was standing beside me and Abel reached out for him. Jacob dropped his large furry head down so Abel could touch him. This would be one of those times I hoped Abel would never remember. How would I explain a dog that is bigger than a horse? Or vampires showing wolves how to fight other vampires?

"Thank you all for coming. I am going to turn it over to my son, Jasper. He has experience in fighting against newborns."

"Fight against a newborn is nothing like fighting against us. They are stronger with more endurance because they feast on blood and it stays in their tissues longer. The most important thing to remember is never let them get their arms around you. Because they will crush you."

"Size doesn't matter."

Jasper motioned for Emmett to come at him. A huge man barreling toward Jasper. When they collided it was a booming and crushing sound. I would say Jasper had his hands full with the state of mind Emmett was in.

Alice went next. She was my biggest concern because she was so tiny. Speed is what was on her side. Jasper kept trying to grab her but each time she was to fast and he couldn't.

The wolves took it all in. Watching the moves Jasper showed them against the other vampires. Emmett was working out some of his aggressions on them as I watched how hard he would slam their bodies to the ground.

It was going to be the meeting place tomorrow night. It was almost time for them to face Victoria and for me to face my fears. Alice and Esme were the only ones left. The rest had gone to hunt.

The Sons took over the cabin waiting to see what was going to happen with Jax and Opie. The Cullens moved out into another place for us to stay. It was better this way at least the bikers would be safe away from me when Victoria comes.

Esme drove us back "He needs time to think Bella. You know Emmett loves you."

We pulled up to a house out of the way. It was what they always prefered, to be out of sight. Abel was already asleep and Alice showed me where our room was.

Flipping through the channels and I couldn't find anything to watch. They came back from their hunt, except Emmett.

Pacing the living room floor waiting for Emmett to come through the front door but, he didn't. The rest of them had been back for hours from hunting. None of them would talk to me about Emmett.

Knocking on Jasper and Alice's door "Hey Bella."

"Where is he?"

"Where is who?"

"Emmett and don't tell me you don't know. So lets not have a drawn out useless conversation. Just tell me."

"He isn't that far away."

It was all I needed to know. Going outside "Emmett I know you can hear me. I just want to know you're okay."

From around a tree I saw his shadow. He sat down on the ground. He wasn't going to come to me so I went to him.

"Are you sure you want to set that close to me Bella?"

"Nothing could or ever will make me feel differently about you. I'm sorry you're reliving your own hell because of me and what's going on. You could have shared it with me and I would have been there for you."

"It's not exactly something I'm proud of. I wasn't sure you would understand."

"Do you understand why I do everything I do?"

"No. Bella I stopped even trying to figure it out."

"Then I guess it doesn't matter as long as I am who I am and you are who you are. Because I love the Emmett that is sitting beside me."

"I had no remorse then because I couldn't resist blood. I can control myself now. Remorse is the only thing I have left of my human side. Every year I visit his grave and tell him how sorry I am. No matter how sorry I am or what I do, it won't bring him back."

"No it's not Em. I have never known anyone like you. The way you give love is the most human thing you can do. You love unconditionally and that's the way I love you. Trust me some humans could learn a lot from you."

Emmett and I talked forever. We all have things we are not proud of or like about ourselves. Those things, good or bad, make us the person we are today or want to try to be tomorrow. You can get past anything and move on with your life. As long as you have someone who really loves you and is there for you.

We have all came a long way from where we once were. Jax only thought about the club at one time and being an outlaw was all that was important to him. Now he is trying to right the wrongs he had done and be a father to Abel. He is still a killer and always probably will be but, he is killing to protect his family and trying to be a better man at the same time.

Blood was the lust of the devil for Emmett. It no longer holds him in its grips. Like a recovering alcoholic, its always there taunting him to take another drink. He has had a lot of years to work on righting his wrongs. I don't think he could be a better man if tried.

Then there was me. You never think life will take you where it does. If someone would have told me a year ago I would be standing at the crossroad of killing to protect my family, I would have thought they were crazy. Today its my reality.

When we went inside Alice was playing with Abel in the living room. He woke up when I was outside with Em. They were all so wonderful with him. After I took him, his diaper was full.

"Abel needs to be changed. I'll be back."

Peter came in and laid his head on Charlotte's breast "I think it's time for my two o'clock in the morning feeding."

"Peter I think you have watched Abel too much."

He took his shirt off and was undoing his pants as he followed her out of the room "How about a diaper change?"

"No."

"Will you powder my butt?"

"No."

"What about giving me a bath?"

"Okay."

"One more thing."

"What Peter?"

"Your baby needs a pacifier. Whip those babies out for me."

We heard them running up the stairs and a lot of giggling. There was no way I was going up those stairs now. Em must have thought like me.

"What do you think about going to town and buying Abel some more diapers instead of going up there?"

"I'm with you. Lets go." Abel was blowing bubbles out of his mouth so I knew he was in too.

Emmett was more like his old self on the drive to town. Joking around with me and laughing. Abel had went back to sleep before we made it a mile away from the house.

We made it a quick trip. Emmett carried Abel to his bed and gently laid him down. Em covered him up and put his stuffed animal next to him "Good night buddy."

"I would die protecting him."

"I know Em. More importantly, I think Abel knows it too and that's why he loves you so much."

"Are you ready for bed Bella?"

"After I go down to the kitchen and get a drink."

Jasper, Alice, Esme and Carlisle were setting at the table.

"I'm going to get a drink of water then I'm going to bed."

"I'll get it for you Bella."

"Thanks Alice."

Not that I need her to do it for me but, it would be quicker than arguing about it then her doing it anyways. Alice gasped and dropped the glass letting it tumble to the floor. It shattered into pieces on contact.

"Alice what is it?"

"I don't think you would believe me even if I told you what Rosalie did."

**THE REAPER**

Burning was all I had done for three days and nights. Every cell of my body felt like I was laying in a flaming fire. When I tried to move the flame went hotter. My heart sped up beating like a drum. Then I felt a cooling sensation taking over my body putting the inferno inside me out. Finally my heart stopped.

Opening my eyes I could see things like I never had before. My vision was a vivid and crisp picture. Hearing a cricket rubbing their legs together from the outside.

Gripping my hands, I had no more pain. No more arthritis to deal with. I haven't felt this good well, ever actually.

Getting up from the bed made of blankets on the floor to see where I was. It was an old shack out in the middle of nowhere.

"You can't go anywhere."

"Who the hell are you?"

"It doesn't matter who I am. I saved you to help me."

"You saved me from what?"

"Death and you're going to help me. We both have the same problem."

"Oh yeah. What's that?"

"Jackson and Bella."

Mentioning their names angered me. With just a swipe of my hand I knocked down a tree.

"Whoa. That shit was cool."

"You can do things better than that and I will show you how."

"Thanks for the offer but, I got shit to do."

"Like I already said. You can't leave."

"And just who is gonna stop me?"

If this blonde bitch thought it was her. She better think again. She charged at me and I had her by the throat in mid air and threw her across the field.

"Like I already said. Who's gonna stop me?"

Running at the speed of light in the direction of the most heavenly smell. When I walked up to them I could smell their fear as they stared into my eyes.

"What the hell are you?"

"The reaper."

As I sank my teeth into his jugular and drank until his body was dry. It was a rush feeling his warm blood trickling into my mouth. Every muscle grew bigger as his blood flowed through my body.

Nobody could stop me now. I was looking for the reaper's next person to bring judgement down on.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed reading me.**

**Jackson and Emmett just thought they had problems until now. Since I started writing I wanted to turn somebody into a vampire and now I have.**

**There will be three or four more chapters of this story. In the next one you know who shot Clay and of course Edward and Rosalie must be dealt with.  
**

**Thank you for supporting and reading it!**


	29. Chapter 29

**BELLAS PO** V

"It can't be. I saw Clay die."

"He wasn't dead. Rosalie was there. She pretended to be one of the paramedics and announced his death. She killed the other paramedics and turned Clay into one of us."

If Clay was a vampire, it wouldn't be hard to guess who he would be coming after. He would be worse than Victoria ever thought about being.

"Are you sure Alice?"

"Yes. Victoria is waiting until Clay has completed his transformation. Then they are going to join forces to kill Jackson, all the Sons and Bella. Rosalie wants Abel."

"What?"

"She wants Abel so she can raise him as her own child."

"No. I won't let that happen."

Emmett was on his way out the door when Carlisle stopped him.

They say the child is always the one who suffers the most. With Abel, he really doesn't stand much of a chance. If the bikers don't get him killed, being around me would. I'm the one who brought Jax and him into this world. What would be even worse was Rosalie having him.

"Emmett you need to stay here and we need to face this together as a family. Bella and Abel need you. Your family needs you son."

The words Carlisle said went straight to Emmett's heart. It stopped him dead in his tracks and turned his attention to what was really important, his family. He holds nothing above a child's life. Only the guilty he still carries for the little boy has turned his heart inside out just like Abel has in so many ways.

Emmett took Abel from Esme and held him tighter to his chest than I have ever seen him hold on to Abel before. As long as Em exist Abel would always be watched over and nothing will ever get close to him.

Most people would consider Em to be evil if they really knew what he was. They just don't know how much evil he keeps away.

"Rosalie made another decision. She decided not to take Abel. I don't understand."

"What's wrong Alice?"

"From minute to minute Rosalie and Victoria keep changing their minds. Each time I am given a new vision."

"We need to have some sort of plan in place. Alice did you recognize the place in your vision where Clay was at?"

"No. It was an old shack somewhere I hadn't seen before. There were a lot of huge boulders and sand. An old bridge with a rock wall under it. I saw something painted in red on it but, I couldn't make it out."

"Did the bridge stand alone without a road connecting to it?"

"Yes. How did you know Bella?"

"Jax took me there before. Another charter of the Sons clubhouse is not far from it."

"Why would Rosalie take him there for?"

"So Clay can have his own army."

"What do you mean Jasper?"

"The only thing stronger than an army of newborns, is an army of evil newborns. Standing against a group of outlaw vampires would be something new for all of us. It really depends if anything from their human life carries over or not."

Alice was staring off again when the phone rang "It's Edward. He decided to tell us everything and he wants to come home."

Carlisle was talking to Edward on his cell phone. I couldn't hear what Edward was saying only what Carlisle was. Emmett and Jasper were exchanging glances. Both of them shaking their heads no.

Edward confessed to Carlisle what he had done, the role he played in their crazy scheme. He planned with Rosalie and Victoria to help Rosalie get Abel. They wanted all of us to believe Victoria was coming to kill me and Edward would appear as my savior. What started out as a plan to get me back and for Rosalie to get Emmett back went to killing me for real.

Edward swore to Carlisle he was never a part of it. He never meant for it to get out of control and bring me any harm. Even though Emmett and Jasper didn't believe what Edward said, I some what did.

Since I've known Edward, he had never shown shame. He was always right and looked down on others for things they've done. Carlisle handed me the phone and the apologue Edward made I heard the shame in his voice. When he asked for my forgiveness I wanted to give it to him but, I couldn't. It wasn't just me getting hurt by it. I handed Carlisle the phone back and said nothing.

The rest of them were arguing the best way to handle Victoria, Clay, Rosalie and Edward. I chose to do something else. I took my purse and left out the back door. Slipping off from them into the woods. I kept looking over my shoulder and didn't see any of them coming.

But I should have watched where I was going instead. When I turned my head back around I walked right into him.

"What are you doing out here Bella?"

Opening my purse I showed him.

"I have to get rid of them somehow. No one else can know but us."

Emmett took the guns out of my purse and sat them on the ground.

"You said you saw Clay die. Tell me what really happened."

"I went there with every intention of killing him. I tried to not make any decisions until the last minute so Alice wouldn't see it and send you to stop me. Jax's window in his room was unlocked so I went in through it. I didn't want anyone to see me. I even parked the car down the street. Clay was alone and I waited until he wasn't paying any attention. Gemma gave me a gun wrapped up in a towel. I knew it still had her finger prints on it. Making sure I wore a glove so I knew it still did."

"When I walked through the church doors Clay knew why I was there. He reached for his gun and I froze. Frozen in place I couldn't pull the trigger and he would have killed me."

"Two gun shots went off from behind me. One was Jax and the other was Opie. Jax fired another into Clay's chest. He didn't even blink when he did it and was completely calm. It was almost like it brought him peace from doing it. Then they made me leave out the back and they were going to get rid of the body. I was to wait down the street for them until they were done. The cops and ambulance flew by me so I went back to the clubhouse. Someone called them and I don't know who it was."

"Honestly I'm glad it wasn't you Bella. You would have regretted it for the rest of your life."

Emmett held one of the guns in his hand and closed his grip tightly. It dissentagrated into powder. Then he did the other two guns. They would never find the weapons Clay was shot with or the one Gemma gave me.

"Lets go for a drive Bella. Esme will watch Abel."

"Edward can't be trusted again. Carlisle wants to welcome him home with open arms. Jasper and I don't. I have always been honest with you Bella. This is no different and I don't want to have to start lying to you now."

We drove around listening to the radio for a couple of hours. There wasn't a need for words. Emmett was at the crossroads of right or wrong where Jax has been so many times.

Emmett was acting like the judge, the jury and the executioner for Edward's fate. No differently than Jax had done with Clay and so many other people.

When we went back to the house I was finally so exhausted I couldn't stay awake anymore. The sun was coming up and Abel was still asleep. Esme was more than happy to watch him for a few hours.

"When you go to sleep we are going to search for Clay and Rosalie."

Em laid down with me and it was only a few minutes until I drifted off.

Hearing my cell going off I rolled over and Em wasn't in bed with me. Still about half asleep I got up.

"Hi Dad."

"Jackson's hearing is tomorrow."

"Thanks for letting me know. I will be there."

Getting dressed I went out into the living room. No one was around and the house was empty. Jasper and Alice had Abel outside.

"They went to search for Clay and Rosalie again. We didn't even come close to find them this morning."

"Bella take a walk with me."

"Okay."

Jasper had never asked me to be alone with him before. We get along fine now but, for the most part he keeps his distance from me. So it had me worried why he wanted to talk to me.

He walked very slowly with his hands behind his back. More than anything, I think he wanted to let me know he wasn't a threat to me. Which I never thought he was.

"It's a beautiful day isn't it."

"I don't think you brought me out here to talk about the weather."

"Not exactly. I want to talk about Emmett. He is struggling."

"With what?"

"He's not like me. When I was a human I fought in the war. So killing came natural to me. It was my way of life and all I knew. After I became a vampire it carried over, it was still my way of life. Maria turned me then I became her toy. She had me convinced we were ragging a war and I did what all good soldiers do, I followed her orders. I turned hundreds of humans. Some made it and some didn't. I can't even tell you how many lives I took and then would end up destroying some the newborn because they were uncontrollable."

"It wasn't until later I started having regrets. I really didn't know it was even wrong at the time. Never being taught any different, it was normal to me. It's not to Emmett. If he hadn't told you his story about being a newborn, we wouldn't be having this conversation now. Because it is his story to tell. What he is planning on doing I'm afraid will come back later to haunt him just like the boy does."

It was easy to see Jasper was more like Jax. They both were thrown into the world of chaos and it became their way of life without questioning it. Not that they both don't have some regrets now because they do. But they could kill without a blink of an eye and never looked back. Emmett would kill if it came down to it but the blood on his hands, never gets washed away.

"What exactly is Emmett planning on doing?"

"To handle Edward and Rosalie his way. Even though I agree with his logic and course of action he wants to take. Emmett has spent the first fifty years of his vampire life being sorry. I just need to make sure he is not going to spend the next hundred years doing the same thing before I commit to helping him. If he is doing this out of fear or anger, it will come back to haunt him later. His emotions are all over the place and I can't really get a reading on him anymore. You are the only person he still lets in. Of course I don't want him to know we had this conversation."

"He sort of told me without saying what he was going to do. I would do anything for Em. He will never know we talked."

"By the way Bella I'm not a nark. I just care about my brother. Like we care about you and Abel. We do whatever it takes to take care of our family."

"I never thought you were. I can't thank you enough for everything you all have done for Jax and Abel."

"Nor can we you Bella. You don't know what a gift it is getting to see Alice with Abel. I never thought about having children or the impact they make on your life. There is one thing for sure, she would make a great mother."

"Yeah she would."

Alice heard everything we had said. With a loving smile on her face she blew a kiss to Jasper as soon as she saw us. Jasper went back over and sat down on the blanket with her and Abel. I went back into the house to let them have their time with him. Abel has a way about him of uniting people as a family.

**JACKSONS POV**

"Change your mind about letting me go Charlie? I mean Chief."

"Not exactly. More than likely the charges will be dropped tomorrow."

"How?"

"Clay's body disappeared. It never made it to the morgue. After I spoke with Mrs. Morrow she filed a missing persons report. Apparently he left a note on the kitchen table she found when she got home. He left her to start a new life somewhere else. The crime scene pictures somehow came up missing from evidence."

"What about my confession?"

"What confession are you talking about?"

"So that's it. They won't try to charge me?"

"I'm not saying that. They may try to charge you if they can find the paramedic who announced his death. The ambulance was stolen and the paramedics never made it home. A missing persons report has already been filed by his wife too. As far as we know it was all a hoax and they were in on it together. Clay could be alive and well sitting on a beach. Or at least that would be the story I would stick to if I were you. Are you following me?"

"Yeah I am."

Opie heard what Charlie said and we kept our mouths shut until he was gone.

"What do you think they did with the body?"

"I don't know."

"Do you think it was Happy?"

"Probably."

We would be set free without a body or murder weapon as evidence. No body, no crime was committed. If the guys pulled this off, I don't know how they did it.

It wasn't but a few minutes until Charlie came back. "Bobby is here and has to get a message to you Jackson. He said it is life or death."

After Charlie cuffed me we went into his office. "Can I speak to Jax alone?"

"No. You're lucky I'm doing this much. He is still a prisoner."

"We heard about Clay and him leaving town to start a new life. That's bullshit and you know it. Tig isn't gonna let it go. When they take you to the court house tomorrow is when Mr. Mayhem will be delivered to you and Opie."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I had a talk with Gemma. It was the right thing to do."

"Where's your cut?"

"I turned in my patch to Clay before everything happened. I went nomad."

"You can ride with us Bobby."

He never said yes or no to that. He just walked out.

"We will take extra precautions tomorrow to be on the safe side. You and Opie will have a bullet proof vest on."

"Does that mean you care Charlie? Am I getting your approval to be with your daughter?"

"It's my job and I don't care. You wouldn't be my first choice for Bella."

"Yeah I guess I wouldn't be. I bet Emmett is though right?"

"I don't care for that little prick anymore than I do you. Now get your ass back in the cell before you make me mad."

"What's going on?"

"Tig is the one delivering mayhem. It's going down when we're taken to court."

"We knew it would come eventually Jax."

It's the rules of the outlaw. You kill another member and a brother kills you. To me death would be better than living the rest of my life in a cell. But then again I've been locked in a cell of hell since the day I was born with no way out.

They called lights out for the night. I laid down on a shitty piece of mattress on a concrete slab. Thinking about the two people I loved the most and what they were doing. I already knew who they were doing it with.

**(****)**

It was time for us to go. They shackled our feet together and cuffed us in the front this time. Putting a vest over our shoulders and strapping it down. If they thought this would protect us, they were crazy. If it were me making the kill, I would go for the head shot. But me and Op weren't scared. We expect the reaper to come everyday of our lives.

A cop backed up the transportation van to the back door. We were waiting for them to put us in it but, they didn't. Three deputies loaded up with shot guns in the back of it.

"A change in plans. I will be the one taking you there. If you try to escape I will shoot you. Do you understand?"

"Yeah Charlie we get it."

He was driving us out of town using the back roads. We heard them coming before we saw them. Motorcycles weren't far away. Jacob and Happy flew past us and took the lead in the front. Juice, Sac and Koz took the rear.

"They are not trying to help you escape if you were wondering. Jacob convinced me it would be safer for you to let them ride along. Just in case you are thinking of trying anything stupid, my trigger finger is kind of itchy today."

Me and Op both got a laugh from Charlie. He doesn't seem scared of the reaper either. He plays for one side of law and we are definitely on the other side of it. Some shit is wrong no matter which side you're on and you would be willing to die to make it right.

Opening the door for us to get out of the car. I was looking around to see if they were waiting outside for us, I didn't see anything. The others parked their bikes across the street and was gonna wait outside. It was only a short walk up the stairs to the inside. But it was still making me a little nervous.

Charlie took us into the court room and signed us over. Bella was sitting with Lila on one side and Gemma on the other waiting to see what our fate would end up being.

I wasn't sure if it was Charlie's bait and switch game that kept us alive today or not. For some reason they aborted the mayhem plan. Something wasn't right though.

"All rise."

The judge came in and sat down at his bench. He called the Prosecuting Attorney and our attorney up to talk to him. They were debating something for a while before our attorney came back and sat down.

"They are willing to let you go today. With the stipulation you can't leave town until they have completed their investigation. I'm pushing for a maximum of thirty days for them to complete it. If they find nothing further all the charges will be dropped accordingly. Your bail has already been paid in full."

"Who posted our bail?"

"Emmett Cullen."

It was one more thing I was gonna owe Emmett for. He has surprised me already. Some of the things he had done for me was more than what some of my brothers would ever do.

We had to sign a bunch of paperwork to get released and get our stuff back. Taking all my stuff out of the envelope and tossing it in the trash. Holding my rings in my hand. Putting the first one on SO and then the other NS.

Everyone was waiting for us outside including Tig.

"This ain't over. I know you killed Clay. You will pay for it."

"I didn't figure it was. I've paid for it since the day he hooked up with Gemma and killed my father."

Jacob was by my side. Tig wasn't anymore afraid of Jacob than Jacob was of him.

"Did you come back for another ass beating?"

"Fuck off."

No matter how fucked up or crazy Tig was. This was not the time or place to have it out with me. It will come around that I'm sure of. He rode off and had no more to say to me.

"I'm so glad you're out."

Gemma was the one I really didn't want to talk to. She wasn't gonna let it go either.

"Jackson I'm your mother please say something."

"Yeah you are but, not a good one."

Maybe some day we can patch things up between us. It wasn't anywhere close to being today though. She will never do to Abel what she had done to me. As much as I hated Emmett, I would rather he be the one to raise my son if I died.

Holding Bella close to my body. I wasn't sure if I would ever get to be near her again or not. I didn't wanna let her go but I still had some unfinished business to handle.

"Where's the guns?"

"Destroyed."

"How?"

"You have to trust me Jax. It's done."

"I thought about you a lot."

"Oh yeah. What did you think about?"

"You wearing the little leather skirt for me without any underwear on."

"Seriously."

"What? I had a lot of time on my hands."

She just rolled her eyes and never said anything.

"Is Abel okay?"

"He's fine. I left him with Carlisle and Esme."

"Does that mean we have time to make a quick stop before we pick him up? I was thinking we could take a ride out to our spot."

"Um... maybe later."

Bella was looking around and acting kind of strange.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Bella could you give me and Jax a minute?"

"Sure."

"Did you have anything to do with the disappearance of the other Sons?"

"Bobby I don't even know what the hell you're talking about. I've been locked up remember?"

"It's like we are being picked off one by one. Members from other charters are disappearing just like Clay did. Nobody knows shit about it and they have disappeared without a trace."

"Is it retaliation against the Sons?"

"They haven't came forward to claim any of the kills. So I really don't think it is."

"You shouldn't ride alone until we know what's going on. The offer is still on the table. You can ride with us Bobby."

"We are meeting with other charters in an hour. You need to be there. Your differences need to put aside and show your support for this."

"I'm not gonna be welcomed there and you know it. Tiggy will throw a bitch fit."

"You are still one of us Jax . It really don't fucken matter which patch is on your leather. You're Son by heart and always will be. I will talk to Tig."

There was no arguing with that shit. The good, the bad and the evil part of me was all goddamn outlaw.

"I'll be there. The others will decide for themselves if they wanna go or not."

Looking around for Bella when I was done talking to Bobby. She was talking to Jacob.

"So what have you been up to lately Jax?"

"Oh you know the same old shit. Sitting in a jail cell and waiting for retaliation to come my way you little shit. What's going on with you kid?"

"I have to meet with the others for a couple of hours. But I was thinking I would hang around for a couple of days if that's okay with you?"

"It's fine with me. I gotta go meet with the other charters. Can you give Bella a ride back? Then I'll pick her and Abel up when I'm done."

"Where are you meeting them at?"

"The clubhouse."

"It isn't safe Jax for you to go there."

"Bella don't worry. I'm a big boy and I can take care of myself. Other members have disappeared and we're just gonna get together and discuss what to do about it. It's no big deal."

Kissing her good bye. I know she will be safe riding with Jacob. There was just something about the kid I couldn't figure out. His strength was like a bull and he was one fighting mother fucker to have never done it before. Whatever fires him up to be like that is some powerful shit.

Explaining to the others what Bobby told me. They decided they wanna go too. It wasn't gonna be easy walking in the clubhouse after what went down. Not knowing which one of them would want to decide mine and Op's fate. But I wasn't gonna run from it either. Cause once you start running, you never stop.

The others made sure me and Op already had our rides ready. It felt so damn good being on my bike again. The road is usually where I do my best thinking. There were still a lot of the pieces to the puzzle missing. All the shit that has gone down over the last couple of days.

They all swore they didn't have anything to do with Clay's body being gone. So where in the hell did it go? Me and Op killed the fucker. All though we would never openly admit it to anyone. There were only three people who knows the real truth. Of course they all pointed the finger to us but they have to prove it first. Cause dead men can't talk.

When we pulled up in the parking lot Tig was outside with Bobby. I went first cause I wasn't afraid of him or any of them for that matter.

The look on Tiggy's face said it all. He wanted to say or do something to me. Him being Clay's right hand man for so long it fucked him up worse than any of us. All the dirty deeds Tig had done for him would come back around with a vengeance sooner or later.

"I'm glad your here brother." At least Bobby was glad to see me.

We stayed in our group inside and watched each others backs. Quinn, Chip and a few of the others were friendly. But most stayed clear of us.

"How's it going Jax?"

"Good Quinn and you?"

"I'm okay. Did you kill him and have anything to do with Clay's disappearance?"

"I don't know what happened to Clay. When me and Op walked in someone had shot him. He shit on a lot of people and made a lot of enemies. It's hard to say who did it. It's a shorter list of who didn't want him dead."

"Yeah right man. I really hope what everyone else is telling me isn't true. Cause if it is you know what would happen to you."

"I know what would happen brother. I hope they find out who shot him and where he went to."

Quinn walked away and had no more to say. But others did and Tig was one of them.

"You can pretend you didn't do it all you want to. It still won't change the outcome."

"Are you threatening me Tiggy?"

"It's not a threat, it's a promise."

This was where I was different from Clay. He always tried to cover everything up and blame someone else for it. I choose to get it out in the open. As far as the blame goes, I wanted it to fall on me and not Op or Bella.

"Why wait Tig. Lets do this here and now."

Being loud enough so all eyes were on us. Taking my forty-five outta my cut. With the safety off I laid it on the table in front of where he stood.

"If you got the balls, pull the trigger. I'll even make it easy for you."

Turning around so my back was to him. Yeah he might take the shot and kill me now. But he would be doing it in front of all his brothers. Shooting me in the back would be the cowards way to do it.

"Fuck you Jax. Your day will come."

"Yeah it will. Probably somewhere around yours. It all comes around Tiggy."

Letting a breath of relief out when Op picked up my gun and handed it to me.

"Don't ever do that crazy shit again Jax."

"I'll try not to, at least not today."

It was something I had to do. I'm ready to die to put my plan in motion of moving the Sons forward, to protect my family and the ones I love if I have to.

The meeting didn't take long. Bobby's theory of picking us off about summed it up. If they wanted to just hurt us by killing, they would want acknowledgement for it. Most seemed to believe it had something to do with Clay but, it doesn't.

Gemma told one hell of a story to the club and she must have been the one who wrote the note saying Clay was leaving Charming. She has always been such a theatrical actress. The way she can spin a web of lies and make you believe it. It must be where I got it from.

Bobby wanted to talk to me before we left.

"I know some of the things Clay did to you and I'm sorry for not taking a stand sooner. He was out of control and had been for a long time. When you lose sight of the club and it becomes all about the good of one man, everything falls apart. I would hate to see you turn into that Jax."

"Yeah it does."

If Bobby was expecting me to feel brotherly love towards him or give him a full confession, he would be waiting for a long time.

Op was the one who was having trouble since we've been here. Maybe I should have never let him come along for this. He had suffered so much because of the club and Clay.

"What's wrong Op?"

"We both know Clay disappearing has nothing to do with the others. What did happened to his body and who did it?"

"Hell I don't know Op what happened. Maybe Charlie did it but, it doesn't really matter. We watched him die and our score is settled. Clay is dead and it's over. Unless he comes back as a zombie from the dead, we don't have shit to worry about."

"Yeah I guess you're right."

We rode back to the cabin together. I tried Bella's cell and she didn't answer. I left her a message to call me so I could go get them. It wasn't but a few minutes later when she called me back. Esme and Alice were going to drop them off later.

Not wanting to take any chances, we made rules to follow for a while. Until we had a grip on what the hell was going on and who was doing it. We would take shifts standing guard. Try to not ride alone and check in with each other frequently.

Juice took the first shift. While we were sitting around the kitchen table talking he came back in.

"What's going on?"

"Emmett is here to see you."

"Hey. Thanks for bailing us out man. I'm gonna need some time to raise the cash. But I will pay back every dime of it."

"I'm not here for that. I need some advise."

"And you came to see me for it?"

"Maybe I shouldn't have come here. Never mind Jackson."

"I'll try to help if I can. I just wouldn't expect someone like you to ever coming to me."

"Edward crossed my family. You are already aware he was mixed up with some shady people. He gave out some information and it puts us all at risk including Bella. I can't give you any details so don't ask me."

"What's Doc say about it?"

"Carlisle wants to let him back in our family like nothing ever happened. I want to do more than that about it. If I do, I will rip my family apart."

"Do you want me to kill him? Cause I will. Then you have nothing to do with it. Besides if it involves Bella, it involves me."

"Thanks for the offer Jackson. But I would want to be the one who handles it. Do you remember the promise you made to me? I have honored my end of our deal and I expect you to do the same."

"Fair enough man. I'll keep my word and I won't interfere unless you ask me to. So what advise do you need from me then?"

"Any remorse about Clay?"

"Nope."

"Not even with Gemma?"

"Your mom is like June Clever compared to Gemma. We don't really talk and it doesn't bother me. I did what I had to do. Cause when it comes down to you or them, you better do something."

"How do I handle my family when the time comes? If they want to disown me because of it, I don't care. If I make them suffer however, I'm not sure I can live with it."

"Letting Edward live in the long run would only make your family suffer more. Once a rat, always a rat. You don't turn on your family without it coming back around. Take care of your business. Then don't ever let them know the truth. Just like Clay did make Edward disappear without a trace. Are you sure you don't want me to do it?"

"No."

Emmett was going to his jeep and I wasn't sure if I was helpful or not to him. Or if he had the balls to pull the trigger when the time come.

"Hey Emmett."

"Yes."

"Thanks for everything you did for Abel and I mean that."

He nodded his head and left. I don't mind talking with him about shit cause of everything he had done for me. But I hoped he doesn't think we're friends, cause we aren't or won't ever be.

Just when I got back in the cabin, Bella and Abel pulled up. I couldn't wait to see them.

Mrs. Cullen was getting Abel out of the car.

"Thank you for watching him and everything you and the Doc did for my son."

"He was a joy to have around. Carlisle and I think of you as family. If you need anything let us know."

It wasn't hard to understand why Emmett was torn up inside. He loved his mother and didn't want her to think badly about him or hurt her with the truth about Edward.

Alice bought bags of stuff for Abel. She was a little strange but really good to my child.

"If you ever need someone to watch him, Jasper and I would love to."

"Thanks for the stuff you bought him."

"It's not all his. I bought things for Lila's children and for the new baby that's coming."

Most rich people are stuck up and greedy. Money never seemed to be an object with the Cullens and they share their wealth.

"Hey little man."

Holding Abel again was what I had missed for days now. When someone is no longer around your mind still focuses on them. Laying in my jail cell images of him kept running through my head. At that point I wondered if I would even get to watch him grow up. The only comfort I had was knowing if I didn't he would have a better life and I tried to give it to him.

Giving Bella a quick peck and she felt warm.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"I think I'm trying to come down with something."

After we went inside everyone was in the living room talking and laughing together. It had been so long since I've seen them be happy. I can't say on judgement day I won't have to answer for the sin of killing Clay. But I know in my heart I still did the right thing.

Bella was leaning her head over on the arm of the couch asleep.

"Come on babe. You need to lay down."

She was woozy when she went down the hallway. I covered her up and gave her some aspirin. I sat down with Abel in the chair. He was as tired as she was. It wouldn't be long until he would be out too.

Watching my son be at peace while in my arms as he slept. "I'm still learning how to be a good father. So if you could cut me some slack when I screw up I would appreciate it. I promise I will always be there for you. I'll try to be understanding when you get older and screw up too."

I've been asked many times do I believe in God. I was never sure about the man up stairs until tonight. Some where between all the bad shit I've done, I was at peace with myself. Being with Abel and Bella again I felt like I was given another chance. I may never make it to heaven cause of who I am. But the time I was getting to spend with them now, it was close enough.

Sitting in the dark with the two people I loved the most I asked him for forgiveness for my past sins. I basically talked to him the way I did to Abel. If he could give me a little leeway until I get my shit together, I would appreciate it.

Bella on the other hand wasn't at peace. She had rolled around on the bed and woke up screaming.

"No get away from me."

Laying Abel down in his crib I held on to my old lady. Just like she had always done for me.

"It's okay babe. I'm here."

"I'm okay it was a bad dream."

She pulled away from and was getting outta bed.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah."

Getting Bella a wet rag so she could wipe her face. She grabbed my pack of smokes and lit one up. She was almost pacing the floor.

"What's wrong Bella?"

"Do you think I'm like your mother?"

"What?"

"I saw Gemma in town when she gave me the gun. She said I am doing to you and Emmett what she did to Clay and JT. Maybe she's right and I am."

"Stop listening to my crazy mother. Unless you and Emmett are keep some big secret away from me that's gonna get me killed, you're nothing like her."

Bella went real silent. She sat down in the chair and was deep in thought about something.

"Maybe I'm not that different Jax."

"What are you talking about?"

"You need to take Abel and get the hell out of here. Get as far away from me as you can. It wasn't long ago you told me I didn't belong in your world and you would end up getting me killed. It is you Jax that never belonged in mine. I am dragging you down to the pits of hell with me. Please I'm begging you to leave tonight and don't ever come back."

"Does this have to do with Edward? Cause Emmett came to see me and told me a little about the shit that's going on. I'm not afraid Bella and I won't run."

"You should be afraid of what will happen if you continue to be around me. I never meant to hurt you or Abel. It's just ending up that way."

Her cell kept going off and she finally answered it.

"I have to go. Emmett is coming to pick me up."

"You don't get to just run off until you tell me what the hell is going on with you. Is this your way of telling me you don't wanna be with me anymore?"

Bella wrapped her arms around me and didn't let go until we heard a horn honking. It was him here to take her away again.

"I have to go."

"No. What's going on Bella? You're scared and that's not like you. You were trying to tell me something but you stopped."

"It must have been the fever. I was just confused. Everything is fine."

"You can't lie to liar. I can see it in your eyes. Stay with me tonight and tell Emmett you're not leaving with him."

"I can't. I will see you tomorrow."

"I thought you came here to be with me and Abel and you were gonna stay with us."

"It's not what you think. There is something I have to do."

"Bella you need to walk by my side or walk away from me. I'm not gonna be patient much longer about it either. If you don't wanna be with me just say so."

"I'll see you later Jax. Believe it or not I do love you."

**BELLAS POV**

Jax slammed the door behind me and never said good bye. Not that I blame him. He must think I'm running off to be with Emmett again. It's not that simple and never was. They needed to talk to me about Clay.

"I'm sorry Bella. We need to discuss something with you and I didn't want them to do it over the phone."

"It's okay Em."

"I heard what Jackson said to you and I agree with him. It can't go on like this anymore. I will always love you no matter which one of us you pick. After we face Victoria, you need to have your decision made."

It was a long overdue ultimatum Emmett and Jax gave me. I'm really surprised it hadn't come sooner to be honest.

The rest of the ride back to the Cullens was quiet. I was feeling the weight of the guilt and confusion smacking me across the face. No matter which one I pick or what I did, I would hurt the other one.

I barely made it through the front door before they were all standing around me. "What did Jackson think about Jacob staying with them?"

"He liked the idea of Jacob being around like I thought he would. After we meet with the wolves, Jacob will watch over him. Sam, Quill and Seth will be around too. Jared and Embry are protecting Charlie."

"We have another problem Bella. I spoke with Sam and we are not meeting them tonight. So they will stand guard until we take the night shift."

"Do I want to know what it is Carlisle?"

"Clay is harder to catch than we thought he was going to be. When we think he is going to go right, he goes left. He is flooding Alice's mind with so much she can't keep up. The worst part of it is he is making carless kills for the public eye to see. He is leave a path of bodies that leads back to Charming. If this continues to happen eventually the Volturi will get involved."

"You don't even want to know what sick things goes on in Clay's head." Alice was probably right because I'm sure some of it had to do with me and Jax.

"We need someone who knows how to get into Clay's mind and think like he does."

"What are you trying to say Carlisle?"

"I think Jasper could maybe answer the question better. He is the one who came up with this plan."

"It takes an outlaw to catch an outlaw. We need Jackson's help. We thought we could use the disappearance of the other Sons to our advantage. Soon Clay will have the other Sons by his side to fight with him. We have to stop him before that happens."

"If you are thinking about using Jax as bait, it is not going to happen Jasper. If Jax saw Clay he would know the truth. He would be considered a threat of exposing the vampires or Clay will end up killing him."

"We don't want a confrontation between Clay and Jackson. We just need Jackson to lead us in the right direction. We will make sure he is protected at all times."

"No."

"How much longer do you think it's going to be Bella before Clay comes to find you or Jackson? We don't have a lot of time or options left. I won't push you to do it but, you need to consider what can happen if we don't."

Emmett can say a few words too me and in those few words make me come around to his way of thinking.

"What exactly do you want Jax to do Jasper?"

"We are going to convince Jackson the other Sons who have disappeared formed their own patch. They will be a threat to his way of life. Jacob and the other wolves won't be there to help this time, we will."

"You guys want to ride with them? There is no way Jax will let you guys be a part of the Sons."

"Jackson will be more than happy to do it once he believes Edward is connected to it. We don't want to be a member, just get his help. Then we will do the rest."

"What about Edward? He won't go along with this."

"Esme and I are going to meet with Edward. We take care of our family Bella and he will have to help."

Carlisle was meeting with Edward which only meant he would be around again. As if there wasn't enough to deal with already.

The plan was risky at best. I can only imagine the look on Jax's face when they want to ride by his side.

Carlisle and Esme were watching over Charlie for the night. Peter and Charlotte were going to be near Jax and the Sons. After they left Jasper and Emmett were talking low in the kitchen.

"What's going on?"

They didn't say anything. Jasper finally shrugged his shoulders.

"Well are you going to tell me?"

"We tried to get Edward to meet with just Emmett and I. But he is leery I think and doesn't want to."

"He will for me."

"No. You are not going anywhere near him."

"Emmett tomorrow night maybe our only chance. Bella has a better shot of getting him to do it than any of us do."

"Why do you guys want him to meet with you?"

"To take care of business."

Was the only answer I could get out of Em and I knew what it meant. He sounded just like Jax and the cold look on his face was so familiar to me.

Jasper handed me his cell to use. Edward was more than happy to meet with me. There was still a problem that had to be handled before then.

"Lets go for a drive Em." I nodded my head to Jasper on the way out and he nodded back. It was time for me to do what was best for Em.

"You don't have to kill Edward. After Victoria comes, if we even live through it. We don't have to be around him again."

"A lot has changed Bella. If we don't kill Edward, we all will die in the end. When you don't want to go back to Edward, he goes to the Volturi. Aro has the gift of seeing everything in your mind with one touch and will see everything in Edward's mind. He begs them to bring his ending and they do. It becomes a witch hunt for our coven and they have already decided our fate is to be burned. Because we allowed a human to know our secret and live. Once our ending is brought they come to find you because you know the secret and can expose the vampires. It's not only you they find. It's Jackson and Abel too. Alice has seen it over and over no matter which decision Edward makes. Edward will die one way or the other. It's only the reason Alice hasn't tried to stop us from doing it because she has no options or choices left either."

Now I was the one who was left speechless. The vampire I was once a upon a time was so in love with and would have given up my humanity for, would bring all of our endings.

"Then we kill him together. I will do whatever it takes Em to keep my family safe."

"I don't want you to be a part of it. The only fear I have is making Esme and Carlisle go through it."

"Is that why you went to see Jax?"

"Yes. They can't know what we are going to do."

It was no longer what was right or wrong. It was survival for us all. It didn't matter what effect it would end up having on anyone. Letting Edward go to the Volturi wasn't going to happen.

"I don't know how you do it Em. With what little I know I have trouble dealing with it. I feel like I am always hiding from someone or running from something."

"Lies are like scars on your soul. I figure I have lived a lie for so long I have no soul left in me."

Emmett was going to do this no matter what. There would be no stopping him. All I could do now was be there for him when he needed me. As far as it haunting him later, it probably would haunt us all.

When we got back to the house I wasn't feeling well again. Sweat was staring to pour from my body. Enough it was saturating my shirt. I went upstairs to change.

"Are you sick Bella?"

"I'm fine just tired."

"Why don't we lay down."

Emmett body was so cold when it touched mine. It felt so good though. Maybe I had a fever but, he was cooling me off with his body just in a different way this time.

When I woke up I was in bed alone. They had went out again to find Clay and Rosalie. Esme handed me an envelope.

"What's this?"

"I don't know. Jackson came by earlier and left it for you."

"How did he know where we were staying?"

"He called Emmett while you were sleeping. It's the afternoon Bella."

Not even realizing I had slept so long. At least I felt a little better than I did last night. I went upstairs to shower when I opened what Jax left for me.

* * *

_**Bella,** _

_**It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart. You always have since I've known you. No one has ever reached me like you have or ever will again for that matter.** _

_**Without saying a word you can light up the dark and bring the sun back into the world of darkness I've lived in. Before you came along all I knew was what was in front of me. Now a whole new world has opened up.** _

_**What I hear when you don't say a thing is exactly what I always need. Only now I fear the silence is you slipping away from me.** _

_**You can tell me anything and we will deal with it together. So when you're ready, I'm here. No matter how bad shit gets, I will never run away from you. In case you don't know I find myself always needing to run towards you. You are my center of what keeps me straight and my best friend.** _

_**I'm sorry for the way I acted. I will be there for you when you need me just like I promised I would be. You have never given me anything less than that. Even if you chose Emmett I will always love you.** _

_**Jax** _

* * *

Standing in the water thinking about the two men I loved and don't want to hurt. They're so different in many ways yet the same.

It wasn't to long ago when I looked in the mirror I saw a girl I didn't like very much. Today I see a woman who has tried hard to help the men she loved and return the love they have shown her. The same woman will crush one of their hearts.

Shortly after I got dressed they came back from their search. They were talking about Clay and coming up with ways to cover up what really happened to his body.

Carlisle, Esme and Alice left in the car to search for them again. Peter was messing around in the yard with Jasper and Emmett when I went outside. Charlotte came out to watch them too.

They took off to try to find Clay or Rosalie one more time on their own. So far each time they do, it turns up nothing. Because they have already moved on to a new place. There had to be a better way than using Jax to get close to them. We just haven't found it yet.

"Can I ask you something Charlotte?"

"Yes."

"When you were faced with deciding between Jasper and Peter. How did you do it?"

"You can love two men. But you can't be in love with both. There can only be one and it was Peter. It wasn't a choice of which one was the better man because they are both good men. You have to ask yourself who makes you a better woman."

Hell she wasn't really any help. They both made me a better woman and person. Each one does in different ways.

Sitting under the tree thinking about Jax and Emmett for I don't know how long. How could I choose between them? Each one was such a good man in their own way. Each one showed me how to love in a different way. But most of all I didn't want to hurt either one of them.

Jasper was standing in front of me and I didn't even realized it. I had sat for hours because it was already dark.

"Bella it's time."

"Are you sure this will work?"

"I hope so. If not it will move things in the right direction."

Following behind them on their bikes. They all promised me no harm would come to any of them. Jasper called it a war tactic. It would force the Sons to make a move.

When we got to a certain point I drove ahead of them. They had their ski masks pulled down and they were ready. I would be given five minutes to put the plan in motion and they would do the rest.

Happy was on guard when I drove up to the cabin. He nodded as I walked past him.

"Hey Hap."

This was where the plan was risky. I wasn't sure if it would work or not. I knew I had to do it but, I couldn't stand the thought of anyone getting hurt.

Jax was setting on the couch holding Abel. When he saw me walk in his eyes were locked on mine. He handed Abel to Cherry.

Without a word spoken his lips were on mine. "I missed you."

Gun shot were being fired from outside, a lot of them. Jax pushed me to the floor. The girls covered the kids with their bodies and were on the floor now too.

Jax and Opie went side by side out the door firing their guns into the darkness. Neither one were afraid of getting shot or what would happen to them. My outlaw was taking care of business. Being the unmerciful and unrelenting man he truly was.

Jasper's plan worked. They were going to move the kids along with Cherry and Lila somewhere else. Abel was coming with me so he could be protected from the vampire who wanted to take him.

They would ride around for the rest of the night searching for the other patch who tried to kill them. Even though Jax would never know the truth and it was the Cullens who did it.

Giving a full escort back to the Cullen's house by the Sons. Everyone came outside like they had no idea what was really going on.

After Jax took Emmett off and talked to him he kissed me good bye.

"I love you Bella and I'll call you later."

"Emmett you keep them safe."

Jax had no idea of the real meaning of the statement he made. Emmett would have his hands full trying to keep us safe from every psycho vampire out there.

Everything was getting to me. The walls felt like they were closing in on me. I went to stand up and I felt weak and the room was spinning. Emmett had taken Abel from me and it was the last thing I remembered.

**(****)**

Looking up at the ceiling my eyes were adjusting to my surroundings. They were all standing over me. When I sat up I was still a little woozy.

"I think it's time for an examine Bella. Just to be on the safe side."

"Okay. I really think it was a flu bug."

We went upstairs to my room. He took my temperature and blood pressure. He kept pushing around on my abdomen.

"How long have you been feeling this way?"

"For a few days. It got worse today though. I'm starting to feel better now. The nausea is gone and I'm not so tired anymore."

After Carlisle examined me he was doing a lot of writing on a piece of paper.

"When is the last time you had sexual intercourse with Jackson?"

"I really can't remember what day it was. Why?"

Before Carlisle could answer my question there was a knock on the door.

"Excuse me Bella."

He was gone a long time before he came back in the room.

"We have to go. Alice called and knows where Clay is. Emmett will stay with you while I go meet with Esme and Alice. Jasper is going to go meet with Edward since Esme and I can't."

There really wasn't going to be a meeting with Edward for Carlisle. Carlisle didn't know I had already changed the time and place when I talked to Edward. Of course he believed the story I feed him because I was convincing. It was a blessing and an evil thing I have learned to do over the years. Lie and make those around me believe it, just like Edward taught me to do.

Carlisle insisted he be the one to deal with Clay. In Carlisle's mind he had to justify killing anything. He would try reasoning with Clay first and offer to show him the Cullen way of life. Only Clay would never follow anyone's rules.

Hell Clay won't even be there. Alice made the call on cue just like she was supposed to. It was to get Carlisle out of the way so we could do what we had to do.

"Are you okay Bella?"

"Yeah. I just want to get this over."

"It's not to late to back out."

"Yeah it is. If Edward only sees you and Jasper, he will leave."

"Charlotte are you sure you will be okay with Abel?"

"Yes."

She was holding him but, she was not comfortable with it.

"She's fine Bella." Jasper tried to reassure me but, it wasn't helping any. I couldn't take Abel with me.

Charlotte laid him so carefully down in the crib.

"Really Bella I'm fine."

We left and I had to believe her. We weren't waiting long until Edward pulled up. They stayed in the jeep and I got out.

"Bella."

"Thank you for meeting with me."

"It's my pleasure. I am really sorry for how all of this turned out to be."

"You have no idea how sorry I am too Edward."

With in seconds of getting those words out of my mouth Peter was behind Edward. Both Jasper and Emmett were surrounding Edward as well.

"What is this? I only came here to see Bella."

"It is the end Edward. It's time to face the consequences of your actions."

What Edward did next was the most surprising. With a slight smile on his face he came started towards me. Emmett stopped him.

"It isn't necessary. I assure you Emmett I mean Bella no harm."

"You are not going anywhere near her."

"Its okay Em. Let him say what he has to."

Edward's hand softly brushed against my cheek. His touch made my skin crawl but I stood my ground and faced my past. I never as much as flinched or took my eyes off of his.

"You are as close to love as I ever came Bella."

Placing a kiss on my forehead he stepped away from me. The look from him was eerie and haunting. Almost like he finally found some inner peace.

"I'm ready."

Edward walked in the front of them with his head as though he had already accepted his fate. The others followed behind until they disappeared from my sight.

My stomach was in knots and I threw up again. It was all wrong and in my heart I knew it. As much as I hated Edward and had to protect my family, it had to be stopped.

Running as fast as I could to sounds of yelling coming from their voices. Pushing myself to go faster and not to fall.

Through the night with the moon I could barely see. Edward dropped to his knees in surrender. Standing before him was Emmett. Only it wasn't the man I have come to know. He was the predator in the night.

Walking closer to them every muscle and vain was straining from Emmett's neck. His cool breath mixing with the warm night air.

Every time Emmett would exhale a unnecessary breath a cloud of death would surround him. With his teeth gritted together he had his huge hands wrapped around Edward's neck that was submissively on the ground in front of him.

Watching them twist James's neck off of his body and burn the pieces couldn't compare to what I was watching now. Because Emmett was part of killing James and it didn't even phase me back then. It was no different from Jax killing Clay or Jacob killing Laurent. For some reason it still was different this time.

"Don't do it Emmett. You will always regret it. Just like you told me I would. We will figure something else out."

There was apart of me that couldn't shake the feeling of doing this was only going to bring something worse upon us. I faced my death so many times and walked away alive. I have watched death come for others and some how have kept my sanity through it. How many more times could I do it without the repercussions coming back to me.

"Get her out of here."

No one moved at first then Emmett was screaming. "Now."

Before I knew it I was blurring with Peter. When I finally touched the ground I went running back to where I thought they were. Only to have his arms wrapped around me.

"Stop Bella."

"Take me back. We have to stop Emmett."

"Its to late for that."

Flames were burning high from a distance and it was too late. For at least Edward anyway. Was it to late for Emmett too? The most gentle giant I have ever known killed in cold blood, his brother no less. I only hoped it wasn't the start of his path of going straight to hell.

We all took a vow to never talk about it again or to ever let Carlisle and Esme know the truth about what happened to Edward. As far as they would know, he decided to not come back to the family. It was always one more lie to cover up the truth. It was always the burden of carrying one more secret to your grave. At least I don't have as many as Emmett and Jax do.

When we got back to the house Emmett kept his distance from me. I didn't want to push him but, I had to. Every step I took towards him, he would take one backwards.

"I love you Em and we will get past this together. But you have to let me in."

He never said a word and wrapped his large body around mine. We stood frozen in place. Without the words we were clinging to the moment and feeling each others love. Knowing we would get past it and move on. Because we had to.

Jasper and Alice came into the kitchen. Jasper changed the subject to what they were going to do about Clay. He was keeping Emmett busy. Idle hands could equal time for regrets. Jasper was determined not to let that happen.

Alice was seeing something and we were all waiting to find out what bad shit was coming our way next.

"Victoria will be here the day after tomorrow, she finally made the decision. Not just her either, the Volturi is coming too."

**THE REAPER**

Passing in front of a store front window I saw my reflection in it. My hair wasn't grey anymore, it was brown again and thick. All of my wrinkles were gone and my facial features had been enhanced. I looked like a goddamn movie star.

"You handsome devil."

"Yes you are very handsome."

"You're a persistent little gash."

"Yes I am when there is something I want. Maybe I could give you something you want too. Lets go find somewhere private to talk about it before you run off again."

We ran together until we were near the Nevada border. Inside an old cave laid seven Sons, seven of my brothers. Burning in the pits of hell like I had.

"Are they gonna be like us?"

"Yes. They will help our cause a lot."

Since she had already done the dirty work for me, I had no use for her anymore.

"There is one more thing I want to show you." Standing so close to me her rock hard nipples were rubbing against my chest.

She took me away from the cave and sucked my dick off. It was only the start. With my new body and strength I could fuck for hours. When I was done fucking, I was done with her.

"Well I gotta go."

"You're different Clay and have a special gift. Most newborns have no control and can't remember their human life. I can make you a real King. A place where everyone would serve you and your cause. They would never question any decisions you made because they would all fear you. We have royalty in our world that is just waiting to be taken over. Together we can build an army so strong and you will be their ruler. I also know those you want to seek revenge on and I will help you."

"How come you know so much about me?"

"I am Rosalie Cullen. The wife of Emmett Cullen. Or at least I was until Bella came back into our lives."

They had walked among us and none of us knew what they really were. It was also how Jax beat me in the end, he had the vampires on his side. Bella was the one who had tied us all together and helped bring my ending.

"You do a couple of things for me and I'll do whatever you want me to."

"What?"

"I want you to make Gemma like us. She's my old lady and always will be. Tell me the secret of how they walk among humans without anybody knowing."

With Gemma by my side and taking over the humans; I would be the most dangerous outlaw ever known in any world.

"I will as long as you do something for me first."

"What?"

"Bring me Bella and Abel. I am going to kill that bitch. As long as they believe it was you who took Bella and killed her, Emmett will be mine again. With Gemma becoming a vampire, Jackson and all the other Sons gone I can have Abel. Then Abel, which will be my son can live happily ever after with Emmett and I."

Deals get made and deals get broken. I would do what she wanted with my own personal agenda in place. Just like I have always done.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed reading me!**

**We are getting near the end. The next chapter we will have a lot going on. I'm not sure yet if I want to split it to make two chapters or post a very long one.**

**Thank you for supporting this story.**


	30. Chapter 30

**BELLAS POV**

"So we did all of this for nothing. We killed Edward and the Volturi is coming anyway. I might as well just turn myself over to Victoria, Rosalie and Clay. Because Jax and I are dead either way."

"It will be okay Bella."

"How can you say that Em?"

"Because I have to believe it."

"I don't care. I'm telling Jax the truth so he can get out of here alive with Abel."

Before I got the door open, Emmett had his hand over it and I couldn't get out of it.

"I can't let you do it Bella. Jackson can never know the truth. You know the hell it will bring for him."

When Edward left me I had panic and anxiety attacks all the time. The breaths of life were being sucked out of me. Only this time my life was disappearing before my eyes and it wasn't just my life hanging in the balance. It was Jax and Abel's life too.

"We have to think about Abel. I know deep down Em you would never let anything happen to him."

"You have more to think about than just Abel."

"What?"

"Goddamn it."

Emmett was tearing up the kitchen one chair, one dish and a counter at a time. When he finally stopped he rested his back against the wall and stared off.

"We should give them some privacy."

Jasper, Peter and Charlotte obviously knew what was going on. But I was still in the dark.

"Em what is wrong? Tell me."

"Carlisle didn't want you to know until after we handled Victoria and Clay. He thought it would be too much for you to deal with."

"He didn't want me to know what?"

"You're pregnant. Pregnant with Jackson's child."

There wasn't any chairs left to sit down in because they were all destroyed. But I needed to sit. So I plopped down on the floor.

There was life growing inside of me. Every second my body was life support to a child. I wouldn't ever make it to see the birth, hold it in my arms or ever get to know what it even looked like. Everything from its first birthday, to watching it growing up. I even thought of having my first grandchild. It was all flashing through my mind.

"Bella it will be okay. I won't ever let anything happen to you or the baby."

Em was holding me and talking to me. I could hear the words he was saying but it really wasn't sinking in to me everything it meant.

"Is Carlisle sure?"

"I knew it before Carlisle confirmed it. Your smell has been off. Your body is burning up all the time and when I held you last night I heard a faint fluttering little heart beat."

"You can hear it?"

"Some times."

Even though Emmett smiled when he said it. He still said it with sadness in his eyes. Then it hit me.

"How can Carlisle be sure it's Jax's baby? I've been with you both."

"Bella you know I can't have a child. But I will help you raise your baby if you wanted me to. It will be as close as I will ever come to having a child of my own. I will also respect your decision of being with Jackson if it is what you want."

Charlotte was standing in the door way looking down at the floor. "I'm sorry to interrupt but Jackson is here. Jasper and Peter is keeping him occupied outside because we didn't want him to see the kitchen like this."

Wiping my face and putting the pretend smile on just I have learned to do over the years. To hide how I really feel and my truths.

"What's wrong Jax?"

"Charlie called."

"Is he okay?"

"It's Gemma and we need to go meet him."

"Okay let me go get Abel."

"I'll watch him."

"Are you sure Charlotte?"

"Yes."

This time she seemed a lot happier about having him around.

Jax got on his bike and held out a helmet for me. "I shouldn't ride."

"Why?"

"I'm not feeling well."

"Are you still sick?"

"Yes."

It was a simple answer without a simple meaning. I am sick all right. Sick of lying, sick of hiding and running. But most of all I was sick with worry of how to protect my unborn child from what was coming.

"Okay. Are you gonna drive?"

"I'll drive her."

Emmett was going to and in some ways I was relieved he was coming along. Not because of protection but, I wasn't sure of what we would find once we got there.

"Whatever."

Was Jax's only response. I could tell he really didn't want Em tagging along. If Jax only knew the truth he would have though.

When it was just me and Em in the Jeep I needed to let him know how I felt.

"I am so sorry. I didn't know I was..."

"Bella don't go there. There is no need for it."

So I kept my mouth shut the rest of the way. Em held on to my hand like nothing had changed. Like everything was moving forward and like we weren't facing death together once again.

We followed behind Jax and Opie on their bikes. It wasn't long until we came up on cop cars and Gemma's car. It was parked along the side of the road with the lights still on. Charlie was walking around it while writing something down.

"This is how it was found. Her cell phone and purse is still inside the car. So I don't think it was a robbery. We haven't found Gemma yet."

Emmett held back and was looking around. He was scanning the area in the dark. I already knew what had happened to Gemma. They came for her and we didn't have anyone watching over and protecting her.

Jax walked towards the car and took a look inside. His head snapped around to where Opie was.

"Shit. I should have had the Prospect watching her. I let this happen on my watch."

"You didn't know brother. Who would have thought they would have come after just an old lady."

"Do you know who might have done this? It is important you tell me son so I can find her."

Charlie was doing his job. Only he wouldn't ever be able to find Gemma. He didn't know how lucky he was it wasn't him they came after.

Of course Jax blamed himself for something he wasn't even responsible for. When they were talking to Charlie I went to talk to Emmett.

"Was it Clay?"

"No. It was Rosalie. I can still smell her. She was here a few hours ago."

"What are we going to do now?"

"I don't know Bella. We need to go back to the house and talk to the others. As soon as you get rid of him." Turning around Jax was coming over.

"Do you wanna come with me tonight?"

"I can't."

"I need you Bella."

Those words were like a shot to my heart. With Gemma disappearing and with everything else going on. I was turning my back on Jax and the promise I made him. To always be by his side when he needed me. It wasn't because I wanted to, I had to.

"I'm sorry Jax. I can't."

"I'll have Cherry come get Abel in the morning so he won't be in the way."

"He is not in the way. Please leave him with me."

"Me and Abel are a package deal. Is there something you wanna tell me Bella?"

"No."

"Emmett can you give us a minute?"

Em walked away even though he could still hear everything we were saying. He got in the jeep and was waiting for me.

"I love you and you know it. But it's time Bella to choose who you wanna be with."

"I can't. Not today."

"Why?"

"Please Jax just give me a couple of days. I'm begging you to leave Abel with me."

"I wouldn't do this with any other woman. You have two more days and that's it, I'm out. Abel can stay cause I know he is safe with you and how much you love him. It's me I'm starting to doubt you really love."

This is when I had to decide what was right or wrong. Who I loved the most and who was going to get hurt because of me. Tears were coming and I couldn't stop them.

Maybe it was because of Abel or the child I was carrying. They were both in danger because of my past and the decisions I had made so long ago. The fact was I had turned into Jax and Emmett. Making everyone suffer my consequences of who I really was.

It all was coming down to who I was and the person I had been. Like them I would pay for it one way or another. With my life or someone I loved. If it was the ones I loved I would have to live with it.

Jax wrapped his arms around me and didn't ask why I was upset. His head rested on mine as I was breaking down. I had been so much stronger since I've known him. But not tonight.

"I do love you Bella."

Jax walked me to the jeep. He gave me a sweet kiss on the cheek and closed my door. Then he went around to the other side Emmett was setting on.

"In two days our agreement is over."

"I'm looking forwards to it Jackson."

They had got along so well. Now it changed. Everything in my life was changing fast around me. I wasn't even sure if I was ready to be a mom or if I could be a good one for that matter. Having Abel around has been another eye opener for me.

With just a smile Abel can make your day better if you're having a bad one. On the down side I feel completely helpless when I think about what could end up happening to him. This one falls on me. I'm the one to blame. There is no else but me.

"Why didn't you tell Jackson about the baby?"

"Because there might not be a need for him to ever know. It would be one more worry for him that he doesn't need. I don't even know if he will want another child. Look at ever thing Abel has already gone through."

"If it was my child I would want to know Bella. He has the right to know."

"Maybe once this is over if I live through it."

"You will."

Emmett's cup is always half full no matter what is going on. He always tries to find a bright side to everything in life. He would hold on to shimmer of hope when it was the darkest.

With Jax he expects his cup to be empty and has to fight to get anything. His world was always dark and if he gets any sunshine, he is grateful for it.

They were waiting for us outside. Alice, Esme and Carlisle were back already. I was going to have to look into their eyes and lie to them about Edward. Hurting them over their child was something I never thought I would have to do.

Em must have known because he suggested I go see Jax. Carlisle and Esme would have seen through my lies eventually. So I checked on Abel and left. While the others let the lies of where and why Edward never made it here fall from their lips. They did it easily too.

I had so much to be sorry for. I would mourn Edward and what we did later. Now I was going to focus on the still living. The lights were out when I pulled up to the cabin. All the bikes were gone except one.

Juice was left to guard them. "Hey Bella."

"Hey Juice. I'm going to wait for Jax in his room."

"I don't know when they will be back."

JT's journal was opened on the rocking chair.

* * *

_**When we take action to avenge or to protect the ones we love. Personal justices collides with social and divine justices. We become judge, jury and god.** _

_**With that choice comes the daunting responsiblity. Some men cave under that weight. Others abuse the momentum.** _

_**The true outlaw uses the balance of passion in his heart and reason in his mind. The outcome and solution is always an equal mix of might and right.** _

* * *

"I wish you were still alive JT and maybe you could give me some guidance about what the hell I am supposed to do. I've turned into a lot of things I swore I never would. If I do nothing people die who I love. If I try to protect them they still might die anyway. Things have spun so out of control and I don't know how to stop it from happening."

* * *

_**The older I get the more I realize that age doesn't bring wisdom...it only brings weary.** _

_**I'm not any smarter than I was thirty years ago. I've just grown to tired to juggle the lies and hide the fears.** _

_**Self awareness doesn't reveal my indiscretions...exhaustion does.** _

* * *

JT was ahead of his time. An outlaw by nature with a good man's heart trying to get out. Jax was a lot like him in so many ways.

* * *

_**I've grown weary from juggling the lies and hiding my fears too. Just like JT, I couldn't actually share with to many people the truth.** _

_**I found myself lost in my own club. I trusted few...feared most. Nomad offered escape and exile. I didn't know if leaving would cure or kill this thing we created.** _

_**I didn't know if it was an act of strength or cowardice. I didn't know...so I stayed. I stayed because in the end, the only way I could hold this up was to suffer under the weight of it.** _

* * *

_**"**_ You don't know how bad I want to run away too John. But I can't. Because if I do all the bad shit will just follow me where ever I go."

"What bad shit?"

"Opie you scarred me. Is Jax back?"

"He is still out looking for Gemma with Happy and Jacob. They will be back soon."

"I should go. Tell Jax I will be by in the morning."

"You don't have to leave. I was gonna grab a beer. Do want one?"

"No thanks."

Opie went into the kitchen and made himself a sandwich. He grabbed a cold one out of the frig. I followed him outside to sit on the porch so we didn't wake up the others.

"Emmett doesn't mind you coming over here in the middle of the night to see Jax?"

"Why would Emmett care?"

"How dumb do you think I am Bella? I know how Jax feels about you and Emmett is still breathing. I can put two and two together."

"So how is Lila doing with everything?"

"You can change the subject but the problem is still there. The club used to give me a hard time about Donna when she was still alive. How I was pussy whipped because I would do anything it took to keep her with me."

"Is that what you think Jax is pussy whipped?"

"Nah he's not pussy whipped. He is whipped by one pussy, yours. He will do anything it takes to keep you with him."

Opie was pretty straight forward. He and I haven't talked in a while especially alone. He had the tone of sadness when he talked about Donna. But her name falling from his lips made him smile too.

"I keep waking up in the middle of the night thinking I'm still serving time in Chino. The real night mare begins when I roll over and realize Donna is gone. My kids don't have a mother anymore and it's my fault. Don't get me wrong Lila has been great to my kids. I don't know what I would do without her helping me with them. Most men would kill to get to be with her. She is beautiful and a kind person. It's just Lila is not Donna. When you find the kind of love I had with Donna, you won't ever let it go. She was my one and only. Is Jax your one and only Bella?"

Motorcycles were roaring down the driveway. Opie never asked anything else and went inside.

"Hey."

Throwing my arms around his neck "I love you Jax. I'm so sorry for everything."

"What are you talking about Bella? I know something is going on with you, I just don't know what it is. You can tell me anything. You know that."

"I need to tell you something. I'm..."

"Jax. They found a lead to Gemma. We need to go brother."

"I gotta go. We'll talk when I get back."

"Wait Jax. What lead? Where are you going?"

There was no way in hell a lead to Gemma was discovered. They had to be setting them up. Jacob went with Jax along with Embry. Quill was staying behind with Sam and Paul to watch over the others here and Charlie. Seth rode with me back to the Cullens.

The Cullens were outside and ready to go. Abel had bags packed. "What's going on?"

"Victoria is near Bella. It's time to fight."

"She's here?"

"I already talked to Sam. Paul and Seth will stay with you, the others and Abel tonight. The rest will meet up with us."

"What about Jax and the other Sons Carlisle? They think there is a lead to Gemma."

"We gave them that to keep them away, busy and safe. We had to get them out of Charming. Don't worry Jacob will watch over them. Victoria isn't coming for them. She is coming for you and Abel."

"Be careful Em. I love you."

"As soon as it is over. I will come for you and Abel. I promise Bella."

**THE REAPER**

"Gemma is in there."

"You haven't made her like us yet."

"Not until you bring me Bella and Abel as we agreed to. Then I will."

"Maybe I should just take Gemma and not get involved in your little problem."

"Go ahead Clay. You will kill her if you try to turn her on your own. Or maybe you will get hungry and smelling her sweet blood will make you want a snack. Either way it is your choice how we handle this."

The bitch was smarter than I gave her credit for. Or maybe she was manipulative and wasn't gonna turn Gemma at all once she got what she wanted. Little does she know I would use her until there was no more she could give me. Then I would show her why I'm an outlaw.

"Fine. I will bring them to you. But if you cross me, I will rip you apart."

Running towards Charming. I had to be careful. The Cullens would know if I was near. Jax might not be up high on their priority list but you can damn well bet Bella was with them.

My own blood screwed me over and she had to pay the price for it. Bella was a child I never knew about. If I had found out earlier she would have been such of great use to me. With her connection to the world of vampires she could have wiped out all my enemies and made me live as the King of the Sons forever.

Now she would still help me become a king. Only it would be for the vampires. I really liked the sound of King Clay sitting on a throne with Gemma by my side forever. I could give two shits less about what happened to Abel. The bitch could have him but, not Bella.

Emmett would come around to my way of thinking as long as Bella does. Which I would leave her no choice. I could always use a big strong bastard like him serving me.

Running close to a bar I saw a row of motorcycles parked. "Oh yeah."

Hot wiring it so I could ride again. It wasn't like I couldn't run faster than it could go. The feeling was what I needed. Turning the throttle without feeling any pain in my hands. I hadn't done that in years. I already knew my days were numbered until I would be pushed out as their leader. When you can't ride anymore, you can't vote or sit at the table.

When I got near Charming I smelled a stench like I never had before. They were staying at the cabin. Where we stashed people away out of sight. Hell this was gonna be easier than I thought it was.

Growls and snarling were coming towards me from off in the distance. It made me growl back at them. These giant fucken things came after me. Running at the speed of light I went up high in the trees. Whatever they were, they couldn't do it. Swinging like Tarzan to make my get away.

Now I was pissed. Did the blonde bitch set me up? Cause those things were chomping at my heels and the hate was instant between us. If there hadn't been two of them, we would have found out who was stronger and the survivor would have stood alone.

Running without making a stop I went back to find out what she sent me into. She was keeping Gemma a few hours from Charming. Only minutes for me as fast as I could run.

"Did you know those things would be there?"

"No I didn't. It's just another reason to kill Bella. She brought the shape shifters into our world again. Hell I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't fuck Jacob too. Just so he would stay around."

"Wait a fucken minute. Jacob is one of those?"

"Yes. He is a wolf. Along with all the others who live on the reservation."

"Jesus Christ. That's how Jacob beat Tig. Jax had them all on his side and there was no way for me to ever win."

"What?"

"It doesn't matter. Tell me about Jacob. I wanna know everything there is to know about him and his little friends."

After learning how my lovely daughter unities them all. I had a new plan. One that would end well for me at least.

"I gotta go. Do you know where Bella is?"

"No."

"It doesn't matter. I will find her. When do we meet Victoria?"

"Tomorrow night. It will be when we make the attack."

"I'll be there. Give me her number so I can get the details of when and where."

She was stupid after all. She wrote it down for me and it would be the first thing I did. Get a hold of Victoria and make my own deal with her.

Of course it was the first thing I did "This is Clay. Where can we meet up at?"

"I'll be there in an hour."

While I was running to meet Victoria I heard his Harley coming from miles away. Waiting for the right second to pounce on him. Scooping him off his bike as it skidded on its side down the highway.

It wasn't until I sat him down on the ground he didn't have a clue to what was going on.

"What the fuck just happened. Clay...I thought you were dead man."

"I've been reborn again and you will be too brother. Together we will ride as the Dark Angels. Doing the devils work here on earth."

My teeth went into his neck as he screamed out loud. He struggled against me but wasn't any match for my strength. If I didn't have plans for him to ride along my side I would have finished off his sweet blood. Now I had no use for the blonde bitch because I could control myself. Other than she had Gemma and once I have my queen, I will destroy that bitch.

After I hid him in a safe place I went to meet Victoria. Our side deal would never happen. Only she didn't know that. We waited patiently until she made a decision the fortune teller could see. She took off to get her followers to keep the Cullens distracted and busy. I took off to be reunited with my lovely daughter Bella.

Just as Victoria promised two dumb fuck vampires met up with me. She wasn't much on quality help but they would do for this. They got close enough for the wolves to smell them. Of course they were dumb fucks too and were running after them.

Putting my boot through the door and giving her a little startle.

"Daddy is home."

Bella thought she could get to Abel faster than me. I was in front of her before she made it half way across the room. But what I heard surprised the hell out of me.

"You're with child. I'm gonna be grandpa again."

"You're not my father. Charlie is."

"That's not very nice Bella. Words like that hurt my feelings. But I bet Jackson will do anything to get Abel back and not have his baby hurt."

"Jax doesn't know I'm pregnant. So that threat won't work."

When I turned to pick up Abel she tried to get around me. You gotta love her fire and spirit. But it was starting to piss me off. I had her up against the wall with my hand around her throat.

"I can crush you. And I will if you don't do exactly what I say."

"Never." Was the only word she could get out as I squeezed a little harder.

"Okay. Have it your way. I can see you're just like your damn mother."

Banging Bella's head off the wall. She collapsed into my arms. She should be grateful that's all I did to her. I laid her down on the bed. I left Jackson a little token on the night stand. There is no way he wouldn't know I was the one who took them.

"Grandpa is going to take you on a little trip Abel."

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed reading me!**

**Yikes two more chapters and this baby is complete. Thank you for supporting this story.**


	31. Chapter 31

**~~~JASPER~~~**

We were at the exact spot Alice saw Victoria and the newborns arriving at in her vision. All of us were ready for this fight. But especially Emmett. His emotions were running on a high level and so was his body. He couldn't stand still.

The Captain was completely calm and motionless. He gave me a slight smile and a small nod. He was taught by one of the best how to kill and have no emotions while doing it. Peter and I were very similar to Jackson in that aspect. We were all natural born killers.

I changed the direction on my path of life. Since I was Peter's leader in the army of vampire killers. Alice changed the world for me and how I saw it. Although during a time like this; I was grateful for the experience I possessed. It was Alice and Esme I worried about the most during the fight.

Not because they were a female or small. Charlotte was as well and I knew she could hold her own with whatever came. But Esme and Alice were different. They could throw down if they had to. But it was forced and not on instinct.

"Alice are you sure this is the place?"

"Yes Emmet. How many times do I have to keep saying it?"

Within minutes Sam was in his human form. He had bad news to give us. Victoria and Clay had done the rope a dope on us all. They sent us off in one direction and went completely in another. Clay took Abel and Bella.

We ran to get to the hotel before Jackson made it back there. But we were too late. The bikers were hanging around the room we left Bella and Abel in. Except Jackson, he was sitting down on the curb off by himself.

Carlisle went to talk to Sam and the other wolves in private. We had to find out just how much information Jackson knew about what happened.

"Clay took them."

"You must be mistaken Jackson. Clay is dead."

"Then he came back from the goddamn grave."

Jackson threw the proof on the ground. It was Clay's bloody President and Original Nine patches. We had to come up with a reasonable explanation as to what happened.

Emmett sat down by Jackson and said nothing. While the rest of us were busy giving excuses and possible explanations, they were hurting. I saw a broken man and vampire mourning the losses in their lives.

Jackson had no more reasoning left with in him. I knew by the look in his eyes what he was planning on doing. Killing everything in front of him was all he had on his mind. He had no more to say to us and was leaving.

"You can't do this alone Jackson."

"Maybe not. But I'm not doing so great with your guys help either. What the hell happened? I left them with you Emmett. This happened on your watch. If I can't get them back, what I said I would do to you, I will carry through on it. It's a life for a life. It's just how I am man, so don't take it personal."

The brunt end of the blame was falling on Emmett's shoulders. It wasn't his fault. We should have never left the wolves alone with Bella. We thought she would be safe and we needed everyone to fight. Hundreds of newborns verse a handful of us and a few wolves thrown in the mix weren't exactly great odds for us.

"A lot of shit happens when you get involved with the club. Stop blaming yourself cause it doesn't do any good. I beat myself up every day for what's happened to my family. We just need to find them. I'll talk to Jax."

Opie was the most reasonable one out of all of them. I think he was a killer just like we were. He and Emmett still had a conscience of what they did, who it affected and the lives they took. The only ones I've ever witnessed reaching Jackson was Opie and Bella. You also had no doubt where Opie's loyalty fell as he rode off after Jackson. The bikers had the same unspoken devotion to one another as we vampires did.

"That's a bunch of bullshit. I told Bella not to get involved with you guys again and what would happen if she did. But she wouldn't listen to me. It falls on you."

Jacob wasn't as kind with Emmett. His hate for us was coming through once again. We could stand around playing the blame game all day. The fact still remained the same, it wasn't going to get them back or resolve the issues between the super natural worlds.

"You don't think I already know I'm to blame for this. I would take Bella and Abel's place without ever thinking twice about it. You talk really big Jacob. Can you honestly say you would do the same? I know Jackson would die for either one of them. Until you are in the place we're at, shut the fuck up."

Emmett had so much going on; hate, destruction, revenge, sorrow, guilt and love. His emotions almost matched Jackson perfectly. They were the ones who would lose someone they loved with this shit. When he squared off with Jacob, I knew Emmett would have taken him on. We were in public but, it meant nothing to him at this moment.

"You've said enough Jacob. This is neither the time nor place to start a war between us."

Peter had no problem getting involved with the discussion. As he stood in between Jacob and Emmett. He might have headed off a fight between them today but, it would happen eventually. As long as Bella stayed in our lives, Jacob would never let it go.

Carlisle and Sam must have heard the ruckus. They came trying to maintain order in the ranks. Emmett backed down and walked away. He was at the point of needing some time alone or he was going to explode. Jacob however, didn't back down or want to shut up.

Sam always had his hands full with young Jacob when it came to Bella or us. Perhaps time would teach Jacob what I already knew. Be patient and wait to strike when the time was right for it. Never get over zealous to just rush in. If you fight the battles this way, you will win the war.

"Enough Jacob."

"But Sam..."

"I said enough."

The other wolves weren't exactly in love with the idea of being around us or having us as friends for that matter. But they knew the stakes were high and we had to work together as a team if we were going to find Bella. They also didn't fight Sam every step of the like Jacob did either.

"Sam and I spoke about a strategy to find them. Seth and Paul are out following the trail to see where it leads to. We should split up and search for them before they get to far away. Someone will need to watch over Jackson because I suspect Clay will go to him next."

"Jacob volunteers to watch him Carlisle."

Sam left Jacob no choice or nothing to argue about. Seeing as how he volunteered him and all. Jacob gave Sam a strong stare down as he passed by. Sam never blinked as he did the same back. It was hell being in charge.

It was strategy in place of what each of us would do. Peter and I had some experience in this area. For now we were going to run the perimeter and see if we could pickup Bella's scent. Then we would report to the others what we found.

We didn't run too far until Alice stopped. I knew she was seeing something.

"Alice what is it?"

"Clay has Bella, Abel and Gemma. He is going to kill Bella unless we all agree to be part of his army. He's trying to force Bella to bring Jackson to him. But she refused to."

This was reliable information this time because Alice was seeing it through Bella's future. It was what Alice said next was the worst part.

"Jackson is the one who finds Clay first. Rosalie kills Bella while Clay is busy with Jackson. I can't see Abel's future anymore."

Alice closed her eyes tightly. Whatever she seen in her mind was very disturbing and she didn't want to share it. But she had to.

"Tell me what you see Alice."

"I can't see any of our futures anymore."

My theory was correct from the start; it takes an outlaw to find an outlaw. Jackson was the key to all of this. His actions and us keeping him alive would predict the outcome for us all. It was why I told Emmett to not get involved with Bella and Jackson's relationship, it would change the outcome of their future together. Only it ended up changing everyone's future. Including the most innocent one of us all, Abel.

**~~~JACKSON~~~**

I under estimated Clay. He has zero casualties to worry about anymore. His club was gone, his wife, his family and his friends. When hate dominates your heart was when you're the most dangerous kind of man. You took what was important to your enemies and you destroyed it before their eyes to gain control over them. I know cause that was the place I was at when Bella came along and what I had done to others so many times. Now it was being done back to me. The vicious circle all comes around.

The common man in this situation would have dreamt of revenge and ways to kill the person who hurts their family. It was a natural reaction. Being the true outlaw; I would seek it out and revel in the revenge. While my evil side rejoiced at the pain I was inflicting on them. I already knew exactly what I would do when I caught up with Clay. Torture would be high up on the list before I killed him of a slow painful death.

Somewhere I was stuck in between pleasing Gemma, standing at Clay's side with his decisions and locality to JT. No matter how hard I tried, I still always needed Gemma's approval. Maybe it was from the little boy left in me for his mommy or it was the mind games she played with me. Cause she played the game so well. I thought if I was strong enough to walk it by Clay's side I was strong enough to take over the gavel. Only the weight of it almost crushed me to the point I couldn't even recognize myself anymore. After I read about JT, I had to try to honor his memory and his wishes for the club. It was the craziest move I made yet. Then Bella became a part of me and the change inside me was inevitable.

Bella saw through the shit I hide from everyone else. With all the things I hated about myself, she only saw the good in me and ignored the bad shit. Even though she shouldn't have, she stilled loved me and had a compassion I never knew before. She could have cared less if I wore the leather on my back or not, it didn't change her opinion of me one way or the other. But most of all; nothing scared her away from my world. That was my fault and why she was gone.

I really thought I could move the club away from the crime, greed, spilling blood and outlaw shit like JT wanted. It was what was best for my family. But still have us remain true to who we really were. It was a false pardon on my part. It would never make up for the people I hurt and the things I had done. No excuses I could make ever would set shit right.

Today I finally understood why my father wanted to give it all up, destroy any trace of the club and run from it. I would not do that though. I would not lose my family and my patch like he did. My last breath would be taken still fighting for them both. I get it now; one man cannot exist as a good father and outlaw at the same time. It was another burden my son had to deal with cause of me.

Bella and Abel were the reasons I took a breath and wanted to live to see tomorrow. The club was my life until I seen past what it offered and how it was destroying me on the inside. Now the club destroyed my family. Again that was my fault too. I should have reacted quicker and saw it coming. You can't blame the club for everything when you're the one playing the game.

It still confused the hell out of me how Clay was alive somehow. We shot that son of a bitch in the heart three times at close range. No one could have just escaped death from that cause I know we didn't miss.

My actions towards Emmett were typical of me. It wasn't only his fault, it was mine too. I was the one who chose to live this life of chaos and mayhem. The day finally came, it all caught up with me. The club took my family away just like I have taken so many lives of others through the club. I destroyed countless families and never gave it a second thought. It was karma being thrown back in my face. Well I was thinking hard on it now along with all the other shit I had done wrong.

"It's not your fault Jax. You told me after Donna died, I needed to stop blaming myself and the club."

"You didn't buy that shit then Op and I'm not buying it now."

"Get up off of your ass and let's do something. As far as we know, they are still alive. You have the opportunity to bring them home. My wife is gone; there is no bringing Donna back. Or I would still be fighting to do it. All I got left is my kids, the club and you."

"I don't even know where to start looking for them at man."

"If Clay is still alive, he is reaching out for help to someone. We start marking them off the list. Be the fucken man we gave up everything for Jax. Let's go find them and your mother."

"Hell after what happened, I forgot about Gemma. If it's not Clay, then some mother fucker is playing a sick joke on us."

"They went to Gemma first. It has to be Clay. Where do you wanna start?"

Clay didn't have any family or friends outside of the club. But he had some powerful connections he made being the savage President of it. There were only three people I could think of who would have anything to gain by helping him.

Before we got ready to head out, I couldn't believe what I seen come riding up. Jacob wasn't the surprise but, the rest of them were. The kid was becoming one of us but, I wouldn't destroy his life by inviting him in. Or he would already be patched in for good.

"What the fuck are you guys doing here?"

"I need your help Jackson. You said if I ever needed anything, you would be there to assist me."

"I'm a little busy Doc with handling my shit right now. And why in the hell are you dressed in that shit?" The get up he had on was terrible. Just because he was riding a bike didn't mean he needed complete leather everything to go with it.

"My wife thought this was the appropriate attire to wear."

"I think the leather pants are a little gay man."

"It made Esme happy. I like doing things to make my wife happy."

"Whatever man. What do want from me?"

"My son, Edward, disappeared the same time Gemma did. I'm afraid who ever took her, took him too. I am asking as your friend and the person who watched over you in your time of need; to let us join your search so I can maybe find my son as well?"

The Doc pulled the guilt trip card on me. He saved my life and in exchange I told him I would do anything in return for him. These preppy assholes weren't my first choice to do a ride along with us but, a man was only as good as his word.

"Let me talk to the guys."

Hell I already knew what they would say about it and I was right.

"Are you fucken kidding me? I'm not riding with the gay village people over there. His leather pants are loud enough when he moves; they will hear us coming a mile away." Happy had his say in it.

"Maybe you'll get lucky and Emmett will get taken out. Then you can be with Bella." I gave Op a look.

"What, I'm just saying."

Juice shrugged his shoulders. "It's your call Jax; I'm good with it either way." He was always just a get along, go with the flow kind of guy. Also he was the easiest to influence.

"At this point, does it really matter? We don't even know who and what we are up against." A valid point was made by Half Sac.

"We have done crazier shit to even make it this far." Koz said it the best. We have done a lot of fucked up shit and Bella was by my side through it all. Except for now.

"I hope all the Cullens go to hell." Jacob turned around and with a smile on his face after he said it, like they could hear him or something.

"All in favor?"

Everyone raised their hands but Happy and Jacob. Majority ruled they were going to ride with us. But I agreed with Happy, the leather pants had to go.

"First, go get some dark clothes on. This ride is to be kept under the radar so we won't wear cuts and you won't wear leather pants. Second, you will kill anything that gets in the way. This isn't play time out here, this is serious shit. I am in control on the road and you will follow my lead or don't go."

Doc and Peter rode off to change. I had some questions for Emmett because I was pretty sure why Edward disappeared.

"Is Edward's grave in Charming? I don't want Doc knowing the truth about him."

"You don't have to worry about it Jackson. Edward's body is one that will never be found. It's a pile of ashes."

The college boy amazed me he had it in him to kill. But again there was something about him with a dark side. Maybe he had it under control cause I never did and mine came through all the time.

Jasper was a different story. Nothing I said in my speech to them even made him flinch like Doc did. The flicker of evil in his eyes told the truth and gave him away. I handed him a gun and he didn't think twice about taking it. Where the others argued he seemed comfortable with it.

"Have you ever used gun before Jasper?"

He half smiled before aiming it at the old well in the front of the cabin. Each shot echoed a ping off the metal pal.

"Well I guess you have."

"I was in the Army. I know my way around a gun."

"Good. Just kill whatever you aim it at and we'll get along just fine."

Emmett had nothing to say while I talked to Jasper. I don't even know why I would give a fuck if he was upset or not. But Bella would care if he was and he did take care of Abel when I couldn't.

"Are you alright man?"

"No I'm not alright. I'm sorry I failed Bella and Abel. If we don't find them, I will let you put me out of my misery Jackson."

"You're not the only one that failed them. I should have never brought Bella into this fucked up life of mine. As far as my kid, it's my fault too. It is the shity cards he was dealt by me being his dad. He never stood a chance in this life. He would have been better off if I just let Clay kill me. You could give them both a better life than I ever can. I think you're damn lucky to have the people in your life you do. At least Doc is there for you. I never knew my old man, other than what I read about him."

"Carlisle tries to be there for us. I never knew my dad either. It's not that simple though."

Emmett was worlds apart from me in every way you could think of. It was what wore me out trying to figure out how in the fuck Bella could be in love with such different guys.

"At least Doc is not evil like Clay is."

"Evil comes in many ways and packages. In some ways you will never believe Jackson."

"Yeah I know. But this shit is a whole new kind of evil for you guys to deal with. You and me, we're different."

"What do you think is so different about us?"

"If you gotta ask that question Emmett. You don't get me at all."

One final smoke in peace before we took off. Opie joined me.

"Make sure to keep Emmett alive, watch over him. You gotta promise me Op."

"Is there something you need to tell me?"

"Nah man, I don't need to tell you. Cause you already know why. Emmett and Bella have custody of Abel. That part is handled. Just promise me."

"I'll do what I can. But you will make it through this shit Jax. You never gave up on me and I will never give up on you."

"Yeah, I'm sure I will. You've always been more like my brother than my best friend. We took our first ride together and put our leathers on the same day. You were always there for me no matter what blow back you had to face. You and Bella are my only true friends that never wanted anything from me. Every happy memory I have, has you in it. You make sure you step up and take over the gavel. It belongs to you and take the club in the direction of your heart. I love you brother."

"I get the feeling you're giving up and saying goodbye."

"You know we don't say goodbye brother. It's until I see you again on the other side."

It was time for me to try to lead this ride. Every ride became more important than the last one we took. The road once was the only placed I really called home and felt free at. Now it was just taking me places I no longer had control of.

"Before we start. I want everyone to be clear on this. Look at the man on your left and right. If you're not prepared to take a bullet and die for them, then don't go. No judgment will be passed on you. Now is the time to walk away. Cause if you take this ride with me, you may not get the chance again to walk away from it."

"Let's just ride Pres. I think they get it; we're not out here to hold each other's dicks and sing fucken Kumbaya."

"Damn Hap, you have such a way with words."

"Shut up Half Nut and get on your bike."

Before we reached the end of the driveway, Bobby was riding up.

"What's going on?"

"Tig went missing. We found his bike laid down off Highway 580. There is no trace of him anywhere. He's disappeared like the other Sons. You wouldn't know anything about that would ya?"

"I didn't take Tig out, if that's what you're asking me. Bella and Abel are gone too. Clay took them."

"Clay is dead Jax. That's impossible."

"Yeah that's what I thought when I shot the mother fucker in the chest. But yet, here Clay is in my face again."

"Are you openly admitting to killing a brot..."

"He's not my brother Bobby. He's not my father either. We are headed out to find Clay. I don't give a shit about a mayhem vote. You do what you gotta do. I'm gonna make sure he's six feet under this time and there is no coming back from it. Are you with us?"

"I don't want anything to do with killing another member. You need to think this through Jax. Stop the chaos here and now. I'm sorry about your family and you need to get them back. I get that. But the personal crusade you started with Clay has almost ended the Sons. We are all divided in war and I don't think there is any coming back from it."

"Then stay the hell out of my way. I don't want to hurt you Bobby but, I will if I have to."

He should consider it his last and final warning. They all should cause no one would stop me from killing Clay. I would suffer the reaper this time for it and the others would finally be free of Clay's destructive clutches. I had to get my family back first. Then I would walk the dark death path with reaper willingly and pay for my sins.

We made our first stop. It was a long shot to talk to the Mayans. They could react to us either way. But being on their turf meant we got greeted exactly how we expected we would. They were pissed off and retaliated with a few rounds being shot at us.

"I'm just here to talk to you."

"You're one stupid mother fucker or one crazy son of a bitch to come riding up on us."

"We don't want any trouble. I'm not even a part of the club here anymore."

"You're either SAMCRO or you're not. There is no half in or half out. Why shouldn't I blow you away..."

The others didn't like the fact Alverez would only talk to me alone. His people patted me down and took my weapon. I wouldn't have done it any different if they came riding up on my territory.

"Clay took my old lady and my kid. Come on Alverez, I wanna restore the peace between us. I don't give a shit how much dope you run outside of Charming and you know it. I need something, a direction to go in, to find Clay. This is my family on the line. You know the importance of it."

"Why should I help you? Clay has pushed us out and took over the heroine sales even across the border."

"If you tell me which Sons was running the deal between you and Clay. I will help you get the shit back. Then you can be the connection in the dope pipeline again. But it stays out of Charming just like before. Then our business and arrangement goes back to normal."

"If you cross me Jax, I will bring the party to the main street in Charming without mercy. From what I hear the Sons are being taken out anyway. Maybe I just take back what was mine and kill you here and now."

"I don't wanna shed anymore useless blood. We are taking out each other and it's pointless. You can pull the trigger and I can't stop you. It might take a week, a year or ten years from now. But I can damn well guarantee someone with the reaper on his back will cut your goddamn heart out in return. We can keep the bad blood going between us or we can both can get what we want. So how's it gonna play out?"

Clay was using the Nomads to run the shit behind our backs. They were perfect for the task cause they bounced in and out of charters without anyone ever questioning it. They became the dope pipeline which turned the Mayans against Niners. Then eventually it landed back at our door step.

"Hap get on the phone with Quinn. Tell him Beef turned on us and make sure he doesn't tip him off we know."

"Then what?"

"We handle it and we get the info we want out of him. We let Alverz handle the connection so he can take back the streets. To show he is the one in control of the dope and it cuts the Sons outta the picture."

"You got it Prez."

Quinn was on a motorcycle run a couple of hours away. He was all in when he found out one of his members turned against the club. I knew he would be. He would rather cut his own heart out than hurt the Sons. His old man was the President of the Nomad charter. We were thrown in the chaos young and taught there wasn't any other way to be.

The Cullens were still riding along with us. I thought they would get board and be gone by now. But after they seen how we brutally handled Beef first hand, I bet they would give up trying to be with us or like us.

Quinn and his VP were waiting outside when we rode up.

"Is Beef in there?"

"Yeah and he's dyeing to talk to you Jackson. When we questioned him about it, he confessed. He's the one you want."

"I bet he can't wait to see me. Put the word out we handled our own internal problem. If others helped, they will disappear to avoid the outcome. Also let the streets know Alverez is taking back the pipeline. The Sons are official outta the dope muleing business."

"You got it brother. Do you need us to help with the problem inside?"

"Nah we're good. But your crew will have to get rid of his bike. I'll let you know what we find out."

Quinn folded up Beef's SOA leather cut and put into his saddle bag before he rode away. He knew all too well what was about to happen. There was no need for us to even talk about it.

Everyone started to go inside but, that shit wasn't gonna happen. "Only Op, Happy and Emmett." Emmett needed to witness first hand why we were so different. Why he needed to save my son from turning out to be just like me.

Beef wasn't looking to good hanging from chains by his wrist when we walk into the barn. Quinn questioned Beef by giving him a good beat down. He was already bloody but, it was just the beginning for him. As soon as he seen me, he started giving excuses.

"Jax I swear I had nothing to do with your old lady and kid being taken. Clay made me a bunch of promises and didn't come through with them. I only did it..."

"Stop with the bullshit. Who else is involved and where are they storing the heroine?"

"I don't know."

"Hap find me something to persuade Beef with."

Happy brought me a pair of bolt cutters. He wasn't just a killer; he really was an expert in torture just short of death. I wasn't as good at it as he was. But when my evil side came out to play, I could still get the job done.

"What are you going to do with those?"

"These bolt cutters can free the chains you wear. Or snap bones into. The choice is yours. If you don't tell me what I wanna know, I start taking body parts until you bleed out. But if you tell me, I'll make it quick."

"Please don't do this. Don't kill me. I'm sorry I went behind the club's back to help Clay. I have money, lots of money I can give you."

"Don't beg for your life. It makes you sound like a pussy. When it's time for the reaper to come, you walk it with him and accept your fate. That's why we wear him on our backs as a constant reminder of who we are. I guess you forgot that, when you betrayed the club and disgraced our patch."

The bolt cutters had no problem taking some of his fingers off of one hand.

"You might wanna start talking now. Cause I'm taking your balls next."

I needed the torture to slow down. Cause with the blood flowing from him and his screams. The pain would eventually take over his body and he would pass out. I couldn't allow it to happen. He needed to feel the pain just enough to talk. So I lit up a smoke and waited for him to cave. His death could take hours or minutes and it no longer mattered to me.

"Clay has a stash near the Nevada border. Levi is the second in charge of the dope. He was using a group of locals to sell it. Clay was pushing out the old Tribe before they patched in as Sons. He made a deal with Jury to take out the Mayans dope pipeline; he didn't want you to know about it. Didn't you ever ask yourself why the old man caved so fast to wear the reaper? He didn't fear Clay, Jury is as dirty as Clay is."

"Jury was dealing for Clay?"

"Jury still is."

"Why should I believe a rat and a traitor?"

"Jury hides the drugs in the old mine in the back of the clubhouse. I'm not lying Jackson, it's there."

"Well, a deal is a deal."

"Son, don't do this. You will regret it someday." Carlisle still thought he could sway my decisions. I also think he felt he would somehow save my soul. But it was way too late for that shit, for me anyhow.

"The Doc needs some air. Take him outside and keep him there."

After I cut the chains free with the same bloody bolt cutters, I ended Beef's pain with a bullet to the head. I was right before, my evilness was rejoicing the pain I inflicted on him, a little too much.

"What are we going to do about Jury?"

"If he's dealing behind the club's back, we kill him."

"Jury is like your uncle Jax..."

"We kill him Op. That's the bottom line." None of the other wishes JT had for the club were honored. But the SOA would never be a part of the drug world just like he wanted it to be.

Carlisle was waiting outside for me and made another attempt to save me. I wasn't like him, he saved lives. I took them.

"You can't wear the doctor's suit and put on the good face during the day. Then ride outlaw at night. It doesn't work like that. You're a good man and I got nothing but respect for you. Take your sons and ride away. Cause if you get caught doing this shit with us, you all will go down too. I won't let anything or anyone get the fuck in my way, which includes you. I sure as hell won't stop until I find Bella and Abel. This is who I really am Doc. You saved the life of a soul less monster."

"It doesn't have to be this way son. There are other ways to handle it. Let me help you."

"Not for me Doc, there isn't any other way. It's too late for me. I'm a criminal and a killer. I walk around in a normal man's body but, I have the heart of a killer and always will. It's not too late for Abel to be saved. That's why I need you to take Emmett away from here. Someone good has to survive this and raise my son to not be like me."

The Doc finally surrendered and rode away. I was surprised he made it this far with the outlaws. Emmett, on the other hand still thought he could do this. "I'm not going anywhere until we get Bella and Abel back."

"Did you see what I did to Beef? I would do that to you if you crossed me Emmett. Don't you get it? You are more useful to me at home. You are not meant for this kind of life. Abel needs someone like you to be there for him. So fucken leave while the evil outlaw still has mercy on you."

"Fuck you Jackson. You don't know what evil even means. But it's coming. I don't care how bad ass you think you are; it's coming with a vengeance."

If a fight with me is what it took to get him to leave, then so be it. I threw my gun down on the ground. "Come on. We can settle our shit here and now."

Jasper and Peter stopped him from coming at me. "You need to calm the fuck down." Was all I heard as they were dragging him away.

"What the fuck was that? Do you even know what he was talking about?"

"Not a fucken clue and I don't care. I got bigger shit to worry about."

Jury was the first call I made. He would be at his clubhouse in the morning. I kept the conversation friendly so he wouldn't know what was coming his way. It made me feel sick to think those JT loved and trusted the most turned against the club. This would be one kill with lingering regrets. But I was true SOA and it had to be done.

"We will find a place to stay for the night. Then meet Jury in the morning."

Emmett was on his bike when I walked to mine. "You good now?" He just nodded. With everyone's emotions running on high speed, maybe his just got the best of him. But there was one thing he could count on; I meant what I said.

We rode for a couple of hours before we found a park off an interstate that was closed down for the night. We parked our bikes off the road and it would give us all a chance at some space from one another.

The woods at the edge of the park were my first choice. I walked until I found a tree down on the ground. I lit up a smoke when I sat down.

"I promised I would try to be a better man and father. You know I can't do that shit if I protect the club and my family. I'll have to kill again to get them back safely. I'm the last mother fucker you should grant a prayer to. But I'm still gonna ask for your help anyway. I don't know how to bring Abel and Bella back on my own. I've got a long rap sheet and a lot of shit to repent. I paid the price for JT and Gemma's sins. Abel is headed down the same path. He is destined to pay for mine. I would give them up and set them free to have a better life, you know that part of my heart is true. So if you could just help me out on this one, I will follow through on my promises. That's all I got to give in exchange for you bringing them home to me."

As I smoked I watched the night take over around me. The darkness scares most people cause it's the unknown world surrounding you without seeing it. With me, I lived in darkness for so long, it was normal.

Before I made it back to the guys, I found Jasper setting by himself. He was just hanging out.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Are you going back or staying here?"

"Do you believe in heaven and hell Jackson?"

"I'm not sure man if there is or isn't. But I know one thing for sure; heaven wouldn't have me and hell would be afraid I'd take over."

"I know what you mean."

"What Jasper? How in the hell could you possibly know what I mean?"

"I suppose by the life you lead, it would be the way you would feel. That's all I meant."

There was something I couldn't put in place with the Cullens. So many things about them, just didn't add up to making any sense. Jasper had the sadness, sorrow and regrets I felt when he spoke to me. It was like he was hiding something and trying to confess his sins at the same time. We talked for a while longer before we walked back together.

"You just gotta get as right with yourself as you can man. The rest of the shit then won't matter."

"Bella cares about you a lot and loves you Jackson. You don't know how happy Abel made us all when he was around. I never gave it much thought before, what it would be like to have a family of my own."

"You and Alice are still young. You got plenty of time to have kids."

"Yes, I suppose we do."

The rest found a spot for the night. I laid down and stared up at stars for while. Then I was right back up again. No rest for the wicked and I was a very wicked man. It was like the nightmares I had finally took over my life. No matter which way I turned, I would lose someone or something I loved.

When the sun came up I was still wide awake. Dreading what would come with the morning but, knowing it was the way of life I choose. The dirty deed had to be done and outlaw justice would be served. Only it would be served on a fellow outlaw and brother.

"I'll pull the trigger on Jury. You don't gotta do it Jax."

"You know I gotta do it Hap. But thanks brother. It's all good, I got this."

One more time I lead the ride of death and disappear. If the drugs were where Beef said; it was Jury's last day to walk this earth. Cause he was one dead mother fucker. May God have mercy on his soul and let the devil sort the rest of the shit out.

Alverez's crew met up with the Nevada Mayans when we crossed the border. They fell in behind us as we headed to the old abandoned mine. We were greeted by Nomads. So the intel Beef gave us, was correct. They wouldn't be hanging out in the desert without a cause. They were protecting the dope.

The boss of the streets for dope needed to prove a point. Alverez's crew had to take them out so no one would cross him again. Except for Levi, that kill belonged to one of his own, us.

We watched and helped gun down so many of them. Didn't even know half of them and didn't care who the hell they were. The Cullens and Jacob hung back, they didn't want to but it was my choice. Their hands didn't need to get tainted with blood.

Levi ran as he rode off on his Harley. Didn't he know you couldn't out run the reaper? He would find you eventually and take you to the dark side of the world without return.

Op rode with me to catch Levi. But we didn't have to do anything. Emmett was riding beside him then leaped from his bike taking Levi to the ground. It was what Emmett did next that surprised the hell outta me. He drew his gun on Levi.

Emmett's eyes weren't right and his breathing was erratic. We couldn't pry him off of Levi.

"Hey man. We need to know if he has intel about Bella and Abel first. You need to stop. His kill belongs to me."

Finally Emmett let go of Levi. He got up and gave me a look that said a lot about him. Some internal struggle he was having within himself, cause I've had so many to know. He would have killed for Abel and Bella too. Tossing the gun on the ground he walked away from us.

"Where's Clay?"

We got nothing out of him. Levi already knew what his outcome would be. Op helped out by putting his foot down on Levi's balls. "He asked you a question."

"I'm not telling you shit. So pull the fucken trigger already." Then he spit on me.

"Any last words?"

"Fuck y..."

"Fuck you Levi." Pulling the trigger on him was easy; it was too easy for me. We stripped him of his cut. The piece of shit would not go to hell with his SOA leather on.

The next part to come wasn't so easy for me. It was time to go to the clubhouse and see Jury. The Mayans would do the cleanup back at the mine. Half Sac and Koz stayed behind to help and to take the nomads cuts back to Quinn. He would decide what happened to those.

It didn't look right when we rode up to the clubhouse with only three bikes parked in the front. I got a bad feeling we were set up for an ambush or some shit.

"You four stay here."

"What are we supposed to do?"

"If any of them get past us Jasper, kill them."

"Good plan."

We drew our guns before we made it to the clubhouse doors. We had to be ready for whatever came our way.

Jury was setting at the bar alone having a drink.

"Come sit down with me son and have a drink."

"I'm not your goddamn son. Where are the others?"

"I sent them away. This is between me and you, not them."

Op tossed Levi's cut up on the bar. "It's about all those involved. They don't get to betray the club and then get to walk away. It's not how shit works."

Jury got up from the bar stool and we all had him at gun point not sure what he would do next. He held his hands up as a symbol of peace.

"I want another drink boys, that's all."

He brought out a picture of himself, Piney and JT from under the bar. They had on uniforms still; it was when they served together.

"JT wanted me to join the SOA when he first formed it but, I wasn't strong enough to ride with the Sons. I've never really been. Running book and pussy was my choice of cash flow. It was never selling illegal guns or running drugs. I got in over my head with Clay. The Tribe was going under. I did what I had to do to protect my club and what I spent a lifetime building. It's been an honor to wear the cut JT gave up his life for, a real honor. Let's do a shot together then you do what you gotta do Jackson."

Jury poured six shots. He held his glass up high. "To JT and Piney, my only real brothers. I'll see you on the other side real soon." We took the shot with him. He slammed his glass upside down on the bar.

After he took his cut off, folded it neatly and laid it on the bar. Op took out his knife and removed the President's patch from his cut.

"I have one request."

"What?"

"The mayhem ends with me. I'm the one who called the shots, they played follow the leader. It's no different than your crew paying for your sins. They're real good boys and they served me faithfully. Besides most my crew who was involved, you already killed at the mine. If you kill all the others, you will kill the charter to the SOA. JT tried to stop the bloodshed before he died, brothers killing brothers was not what he wanted. I think he would have approved, don't you?"

"Done. I'm only agreeing to it cause of who you were to JT. It will still send the message don't ever cross the SOA cause if they do, nothing will save them. "

"I'm ready Jackson. I'm tired of living this kinda life cause it's all I know how to do."

Pointing the gun at him my hand was shaking. It was another call of right and wrong I made. Another sin would be added to the long existing list I already had. Once again I played the judge, jury and the executioner. Only this time I was killing someone I loved and looked up to. It felt like I was letting go of JT in some ways when I pulled the trigger.

"Goodbye Uncle Jury. I'm sorry it went down this way old man."

I took Jury's cut and I had a stop to make before going back to the mine.

"You guys ride ahead I'll be there in a minute."

"Jax it's not a good idea for you to..."

"Op, I need a minute."

"Okay. We won't be far away."

It was the place it all started; it was a place a lot of things would end too. The same bridge I took Bella on the run we made together. I wiped the dust away from the words in red JT spray painted. Tossing Jury's cut down, I lit it on fire.

"I never knew how hard it was to be you. But I get it now. The shit you must have gone through to just see another day. I failed you somewhere Dad along with Abel. But I do love you and I want you to know that. I'm sorry for what I had to do to Jury. Outlaw is all I know and being an outlaw is how I'll die."

When I walked back to my bike I saw a piece of paper on the seat.

_**I have Bella and Abel. Meet me at Highway 240. If you don't come alone, they will die. If you're not too much of a pussy to face me that is.** _

_**Clay** _

"Bring it on mother fucker."

There were some sins you committed, you never came back from. No matter how hard you tried to right them. The devil waited you out until your body quit working. Cause he already knew he owned your soul.

Then again I thought maybe the devil never really existed. It was God, that's said nah, you would never belong here. You died and became an outcast destined to be alone for eternity. The same way you were when you're an outlaw, all alone and living in a dark world.

"If today's my day to walk through hell with the devil; or to be an out casted outlaw. Then I'm taking that son of a bitch with me."

I rode away alone and without thinking twice about it. By the time the others realized I was gone, it would be over with one way or the other.

**~~~BELLA~~~**

Feeling something cold on my forehead. When I opened my eyes I was surprised to see it was Gemma. She doused a rag again from bottled water and wiped my face with it. Since it matched her shirt, I would assume she had ripped the rag from it.

"Where are we?"

"I don't know. I've been here maybe a couple of days. I'm not sure."

The room was small, concrete and run down. A few blankets were scattered around on the ground. A bucket in the corner of the room was what I expect was supposed to be our toilet. Bottles of water were lying in the dirt. There wasn't any electricity; candles were the only light in the room. As I turned the knob on the steel door it wouldn't budge. There were no windows for us to escape from. Judging from the dirt floor and the cool air draft, we were underground somewhere.

"Have you seen anyone while you have been here?"

"No. I woke up here too."

"Do you know how I got here?"

"I was blind folded and tied up. I heard the door creak when they opened it. Within seconds the blind fold and restraints were gone and you were lying on the ground. I never saw anyone. It was like no one was ever in here. There was a lingering smell of apples and then it faded."

What Gemma experienced was a vampire. They were in and out of the room before she ever knew it. Only there was a reason they left her alive. There had to be a reason I was still breathing as well.

"Abel."

"What about Abel?"

"He took him."

"Who took him?"

Or at least I prayed Clay only took Abel and didn't hurt him. Gemma kept questioning me and talking. I couldn't tell her the truth. But then again, would it matter even if I did? Because what were the odds we would make it out alive from this?

"You better tell me who took my grandson damn it."

There was no need for me to explain shit to Gemma when the door slowly opened up. She saw the ghost of her past standing before her. Her mouth kept opening up but nothing came out. I would say she was in complete shock.

"It's me Gem."

"It can't be you're dead. You're dead."

"I have never been more alive. We can have immortality together forever."

With each step Clay took towards her, she scooted her butt from him in the dirt. Until she had no place left to go when her back was up against the concrete wall. He bent down to touch her cheek. I thought she was going to have a panic attack.

"You will always be my queen. I want you by my side Gem."

Since he was busy with her and the door was open, I ran. I knew I couldn't out run him but, I still had to try to escape.

"You however, are a different story."

By my shirt he was dragging me out of the room in the dirt. Gemma should have never tried to interfere.

"Get off of her you son of a bitch."

You got to give it to her, Gemma was a fighter. Maybe that side of Jax came from her. Of course she didn't stand a chance against a vampire. Clay back handed her which landed her face first in the dirt.

"Ungrateful bitch I swear. You're just like your damn kid."

Outside the room was sunlight I could see through the concrete tunnel. We were underground but where? Clay finally let go of me and tossed a cell phone in the dirt.

"You will call Jax. I want him to come for you."

"I won't do it so you can kill him too. Just get it over with and kill me."

"Oh, I would if you still didn't have a purpose to serve to me. I know about the Cullens and Jacob's little secret too. They will become a part of my army because if they don't, I will kill you."

"You're insane. Your plan will not work."

"We'll see about that. Now make the call."

"No."

"Let's see if you change your mind after I show you something."

Rosalie had Abel. At least she hadn't hurt him yet. That bitch was as crazy as Clay was. She was playing with Abel and telling him she was his new mommy.

"If you don't do exactly what I say, Abel is dead."

Rosalie cuddled Abel to her body. It was just a threat because there is no way in hell she would let Clay harm him. In her sick and distorted mind, she could finally have the family she always wanted. So I decided to tell her about my new little family.

"I'm pregnant Rosalie and it could be Jackson or Emmett's baby. There is no way for you to take this away from me. I am going to be the mommy of his baby. You know it won't matter whose baby it is to Emmett. He will always love me and the baby like it is his own."

"You're lying."

"Listen really carefully and you will hear the faint heart beat of our baby."

After she sat Abel down on the ground. Her upper lip curled up and a deep growl came from her. She was good and pissed off now as she charged at me. But she never made it because Clay stopped her.

"I told you once I am done with Bella, you can do whatever you want with her. Now take care of the kid before I decide you're too much trouble and rip your fucken head off."

"Is there anything else you want to show me Clay? Because so far, your plan isn't working. I will never call Jax."

"You're more like your old man than I thought you cunning bitch."

It landed me back into the dark cool room again. But at least Abel was safe for now and Clay didn't lure Jax into an ambush by using me to get to him.

Gemma wasn't so lucky. Her right cheek was only spilt open where he hit her. I took the same rag she used on me and wet it. Then pressed it against her cheek. She and I had a long wait ahead of us to see what our fate was going to be. The odds were more in her favor of being turned by Clay than being killed like mine were.

It was hours before she started to wake up. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I've been hit before. What the hell is going on Bella? Clay is a..."

"Don't say anything Gemma."

"What?"

"Never talk about it. Don't say it out loud. It will bring things down on you, you can't even imagine."

The first day I openly admitted I knew Edward was a vampire; was my last normal day on earth. Everything I learned since then, took my life to where it was today.

Using my finger, I wrote her a note in the dirt. Gemma nodded and wrote one back to me. We did this back and forth for about an hour. Until she agreed to what I was planning. The question was; could she pull it off? Jax always said she hid the truth better than anyone. We would see if that was true or not.

"What does Jackson know about JT?"

"What?"

"What did Renee tell him? I gotta know Bella, what does my son knows exactly."

"Renee didn't tell him anything. She gave him letters from JT. Jax knows the truth about everything."

"Jax only knows JT's truth. There are a lot of things Jax still doesn't know. After Thomas died, JT went soft and couldn't see past death. He stopped existing in the real world and wanted to end the club. He thought he made a mistake forming it while he blamed the club for all the problems in his life. The brother hood and his family meant nothing to him anymore. He let the guilt chew him up on the inside. I was the one who sat alone by Thomas's bed until my baby passed away. JT wasn't even in the country at the time and he wasn't strong enough to handle it anyway. He was busy creating the Belfast charter. He was busy creating... building a replacement family too. Because he had already shut me and Jackson completely out of his life. JT has a daughter who still lives there. But yet, I'm the bad one. The only thing I did right in my life is being Jackson's mother. I never gave up on him for one minute. Being his mother and Abel's grandma is my hippest moments."

"Why haven't you told Jax about it?"

"Nothing good comes out of rehashing old history. I didn't want Jackson to follow in his father's footsteps."

"Did you ever really love JT?"

"I did. I was all in on the first ride I took with him. We met when I was eighteen years old. A couple of months later, I found out I was pregnant with Thomas. I couldn't wait to be a mom. I wanted ten sons just like Thomas and Jackson. But over the years we grew up, JT and I grew apart. I might not have done things the right way but, JT didn't either."

"Did you help Clay kill JT?"

"It doesn't matter now what I was a part of or knew about. The past needs to stay in the past. I love both of my sons and would die protecting them. That's the most important thing."

After listening to Gemma's story. I saw her in a different way. She was confessing her sins and secrets to me. There were so damn many she had. It was like she was the gate keeper of every lie which leads to each dirty secret of the club. I was actually shocked by some of them. The others I could relate to. I had so many secrets and lies I told over the last couple of years. Even though I wanted to get a lot of shit off my chest, I still couldn't tell her the truth.

"Do you really love Jackson?"

"Yes."

"I would ask if you wanna be with him. But considering the circumstances, I'm not sure it is going to matter or not."

"Jax brought me out of the black hole of disappear and darkness I was in. I've never met anyone like him. He is so strong and loving at the same time. I never got to tell him about..."

"You never got to tell him about what?"

"I'm pregnant."

We both set in complete silence reliving a lot of things, the good and bad that happened in our lives. Only it wasn't just my life anymore on the line, it was my baby's too. But in the end of every rational and irrational thought I had, the outcome remained the same. I knew what I had to do and Gemma knew what role she must play as well.

The question really was; could she do it and convince Clay she was sincere about it? If he truly believed her, I thought he would cave to any demand she made.

"Clay I need to talk to you. Please."

Within five minutes the door opened up and Gemma was freed. I paced around the room waiting to see if she could pull this over on a vampire, her old man, and who adored her. It seemed like hours had passed by and it could have been for all I knew.

In my mind I kept making a decision. Then changing it over and over. Just to go back to the first one I made numerous times. My only hope was Alice would see something and it would be enough to save them in the end.

When Gemma came back with Abel, she must have put on a good show for Clay. "You can spend a few minutes with him Bella."

Clay waited at the door for Gemma to walk out of the room. Then he slammed it shut behind her. I still wasn't sure what her fate would be. God only knew what all our fates would be.

Abel seemed tired. He cuddled to my chest but never closed his eyes. "You don't know how sorry I am for getting you and Jax involved in my messed up life. You both brought so much joy in different ways. You are and always will be my son Abel. I will protect you until I take my last breath."

The second time they came into the room, it wasn't in a friendly fashion. Gemma took Abel and gave me a nod. I couldn't tell if it was in a good or bad way. Clay just grabbed me. There wasn't any need for me to struggle because I couldn't get free from his iron clutch he had on me.

"Jax is on his way. He came for you just like I thought he would."

Gemma held on to Abel as she took Clay by the hand. He placed a kiss on hers. She fooled Clay. Love truly was blind. There was no doubt in my mind; she would turn on me in a heartbeat. But not on Jax or Abel.

"When this is over, we should leave the country. Make a fresh start Gem."

"Whatever you want baby. I'm here and I will follow your lead like I've always done."

Jax's bike wasn't far away now even I could hear it coming. Clay would kill him and there was nothing I could do to stop it. The vampire that's stepped out was surprising. Clay turned Tig, his evil side kick in the outlaw world. Was now a powerful vampire to serve Clay.

Jax was too far away when he pulled over for me to hear the conversation. But I can only imagine the reaction he was having to the vampire. Of course his first reaction was to fire his gun on Tig. But it was a futile attempt. Tig tossed Jax like a small sack of potatoes to the ground.

Clay was enjoying watching Jax's demise. Gemma took a few steps back and handed me Abel. When she took Clay's knife off his side, she came up with a new plan all on her own.

"That isn't what we agreed to."

"No sweetheart, it wasn't. But it is now. Jackson needs his old lady and Abel needs his mommy. You take care of my boys for me and never let them forget I love them very much."

"Gemma don't do..."

It was too late. She had already sliced her hand open with Clay's knife. The blood was trickling down from it. Roars were being let out from Tig as he came charging towards her. I had no choice but to run with Abel, I couldn't save her. But I would save him.

"Come and get it Tiggy." Gemma even knew who he was and what Clay had done to him. She was sacrificing herself to save Jax and in return me along with Abel. When I told her the plan, it was to be me they came after. So the others could maybe get away.

Clay intersected Tig before he made it to us. Even with everything that happened, he still had a connection to Gemma. The vampire in him didn't change his love for her. Their love was far from perfect. But, were most relationships ever perfect?

Only it got worse for us all. Clay must have crossed Rosalie because she returned with reinforcements, Victoria and the newborns.

Clay was battling so many of them when I ran with Abel in my arms. Things happened so fast around me with blurs hitting my vision now and then. Before I made it to Jax, a newborn did. I screamed his name and to run. It was Jacob that saved the day.

The giant wolf's teeth sank into Jax's leather cut throwing him out of harm's way. My sunshine went directly into the path of the vampires to save my outlaw.

It was Jacob's safety I was concerned for now. Several newborns had grabbed him, taking him down to the ground. Jasper leaped over all of them while bending one of the newborn's necks until it came off in his hands. With Jasper's help of getting some of them off, the giant wolf was pissed and on his feet again. Jacob was a fighter; he fought for me in so many ways and never gave up.

Trying to get Jax up from the ground. "You have to run."

"Bella go."

"You don't understand..."

"Did you hear me? Take Abel and get the hell outta here from whatever the fuck they are."

"It's me they want Jax. I can't run from my past anymore. Take Abel and get out of here while you still have a chance or we're all dead."

You can't out run a vampire or run from your past. My father, Jax's step father and one bad ass outlaw vampire stood before us. I looked up the hill for Gemma but, I couldn't see her anywhere. This meant they must have gotten through Clay and she was gone.

"You're gonna pay for what you've done you little prick. I'm the king and always be Jax."

"Go to hell."

One more time my outlaw stood unafraid of facing death and was unmovable. Jax was in between us and Clay. Every time he tried to defend himself against Clay, he found out a vampire was stronger this time. But Jax never gave up. Clay's hand was wrapped tightly around Jax's throat. With his feet dangling in the air, his oxygen was cut off.

"Wait. It's me you want. I will bring them all together for you. You will be the most powerful and the ruler over all of them. Please stop. I'll do whatever you want me to but, please stop."

Clay's head snapped quickly in my direction. His eyes like flickering red flames of evil and with a smirk on his lips. "Daddy's little girl finally came around to my way of thinking." Jax grasp his throat when Clay let go of him.

Emmett joined in from behind by knocking Clay to the ground. "Run."

"What the fuck are you?" Jax knew now why the Cullens were so different. I was surprised we kept it from him for so long.

Clay was already back up on his feet and laughing. He removed his SOA cut then tossed it down on the ground. "I'm gonna show you why they call me the reaper after I kick your ass and rip your fucken head off. Then I'm gonna finish what I started with you two."

"Go." Emmett was screaming. Even with all of his strength Clay matched him.

"Jax let's go."

"No."

Jax was trying to watch every movement they made. I didn't think he had anymore success than I did because our human eyes couldn't focus that fast.

It was a head on collision when Clay and Emmett collided together. Emmett was doing his best to stop Clay with his feet making holes into the ground to hold on. But Clay was stronger.

Alice landed on top of Clay. Now they both were battling him. Speed was on her side. She must have anticipated his next moves. Because he couldn't get a grasping hold on her. Together they threw Clay hundreds of yards. But he would get back on his feet soon fighting again.

"Get the hell out of here. Now."

"What the fuck are..."

"Jackson, now is not the time to fight me on this. If you truly want to save Abel, leave."

Emmett's loud growl came from his massive chest. With his gritted teeth exposed he flexed all his muscles for Jax's benefit. "Go already mother fucker."

As we ran the Cullens and wolves were fighting everywhere around us. When we made it to the bottom of the hill, Rosalie landed on her feet in front of us.

"Give me back my baby."

"Go to hell bitch. Abel is my son."

Peter knocked Rosalie out of our path. Jax knew the danger because he kept running too. We made it to his bike and he thought he could just ride away from it. Only it wouldn't go down like that. One of the vampires could still get to us.

"Start your bike and give me your knife."

"What the..."

"Jax we don't have time to argue about it. I've been here before. Just start your damn bike already."

He drove it a huge circle like I asked him to after I stabbed the gas tank. Fire was the only thing to protect us now. Sure Jax would be a little pissed when I lit his bike on fire. But hey, he would at least live a few more minutes to be pissed off at me.

"Bella we got a lot of shit to talk about and work out between us."

"If we live through it, we will."

The fire and smoke blazed around us. I thought it made a lot of sense at the time to use fire. Some of the newborns were gathering around the circle but, nothing of them could walk through fire. Or was crazy enough to even attempt it. Except for one that was. From a rock she took a leap, a leap of fate she wouldn't get burned.

"Give me my baby."

Jax went to fight her but, it wasn't him she wanted. I handed him Abel.

"This is one time Jax, you can't protect me. No one can. It's my skeletons coming out of the closet. My demons I have to face. I love you and I always will. But you have to let me do this. So you can save yourself and Abel."

"It's me you hate Rosalie. So let's get on with it."

"I'm taking what is the most precious to the human. The same things you took from me; my husband and my family. Abel is my baby now."

"Abel will never call you mommy bitch. Just like the baby growing in my womb. You will never know what it's like to have life inside you. But I do now. Even if you kill me, you can never take that away from me."

The Cullens came to the rescue like they had always done. Emmett threw the bike that was a ball of fire away from the circle. He had burns I wasn't sure ever would heal like the scars he would have from this fight. His heart and love was always so pure.

"If I can't have you. Then no one will Emmett."

My body landed up against a large rock. Rosalie threw me before taking Emmett on. This was one fight I knew she would lose. A couple of the others were now watching them duke it out. It was a demon Emmett had to face on his own. When I looked up I saw smoke in the sky coming from everywhere in the desert.

It was the face I seen hovered above me, that put a smile on mine. "Bella can you even hear me? I love you and I didn't know you are pregnant. I'm sorry I ever brought you into my world of chaos. Just come back to me." He had Abel at his side while he was trying to hold my head up.

"Son, I need to get to Bella."

"Fuck you Doc or whatever the fuck you really are."

Jax was not dealing with the supernatural world so well. He was standing over me with his gun drawn. He was still fighting a useless battle though. Just like we had done over the course of our lives.

"I'm not going to hurt her Jackson."

I could barely keep my eyes open. The seconds I closed them for were getting longer each time. Pain was all I felt as my body jerked uncontrollable.

"Get out of my way Jackson. Don't make me hurt you to get to Bella. She needs help or she is going to die. Along with the baby."

"You're not getting near her."

Jax fired shots at Emmett, I could hear them. The ringing in my ears was finally starting to fade. As was most of the sounds around me were.

"I'm sorry it has to end this way Jackson. But you leave me no choice."

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed reading me!**

**One final chapter to go. I am so sorry it took me forever to get back to it. Please forward on to the last chapter.**

**Thank you for reading and supporting this story. It means a lot to me.**


	32. Chapter 32

**~~~Jackson~~~**

The move had been good for us. Not everything had got put away yet. I was searching through boxes in the garage. After going through several, I finally found it. I wiped the dust from the cover of my old journal.

A lot of shit had changed since I wrote it but, a lot of shit remained the same. The club was turned around somehow when I took over the gavel. We're still a bunch of outlaws and that's what I'll be till the day I die. You can't be one unless you tell a few lies, spill some blood and live above the law. But, we think shit through better now than we used to. The cause and effects of our actions, who we will hurt in the process and above all we make more time for our families. I still live most of life in the streets. Just not causing so much mayhem these days.

It was why we moved to begin with. I help other charters sort out shit and make sure they do the right things for the brotherhood. Without the help of my old lady, I couldn't do it. There were so many damn times, I wanted to give. I never thought I could move the club in the right direction and keep them on that path. But she would never let me quit.

Behind every good outlaw; there's a strong old lady who holds him together and their family together. When I walked into the kitchen, my old lady slammed the phone down. She placed her hands on her hips and was tapping her black high heel boot on the floor. Whatever it was, was gonna fuck up my morning. I could just tell.

"What's wrong?"

"Do you know what your son did?"

"Why is it when the kids are in trouble, they are just mine?"

"Because that's how shit works Jax. Abel has been skipping school. If I had to guess, he has been hanging out at the clubhouse again."

"I haven't been seen him there. But I will talk to him about it."

"You better because this is a fresh start for him and if he continues to miss, he will fail. I have to meet with the principal at school this morning. You promised when the time is right, you would tell him the truth."

"I'm on it and I will." I gave her a quick kiss before going to have the talk with Abel I had been putting off.

Before I made it upstairs, there was another problem brewing in the Teller household this morning. Our little girl, Gracie, was setting on the steps looking all cute in her pig tails and purple dress. Only she didn't look happy cause the tears were trickling down her face.

"What's wrong baby?"

"JT told me I can't have a motorcycle like you because I'm a girl and I can't ever be a part of the club."

"You can have one if you want to. Stop listening to your brother." It was another talk we would put off for a while. But Gracie could be a part of my outlaw world and it scared the shit out of me.

"When I grow up I'm going to marry someone just like you Daddy. Then I will ride his bike like Mommy does with you."

"We don't have to worry about that for a while honey."

"Why?"

"Cause you're not allowed to date until your thirty."

"Okay Daddy."

With that it was over. If only all the problems in my life were so easily solved. Gracie was going to be a handful when she grew up. She looked like and acted like her mother already. It was only a matter of time before I had to kill the boy that become interested in her. Maybe not kill but, seriously hurt.

"Let's get you some breakfast."

I handed her to Mom and Gracie gave me a sweet kiss on the cheek.

"What happened?"

"JT." I really didn't need to say anymore than that.

"JT get in here now."

"What Pops?"

"What did I say about calling me that?"

"You said you didn't really care for it. But, you technically didn't say I couldn't call you that though."

Out of all of our children, JT was the most like Bella. He was always searching for an out to get around something I said. We named him after Jacob Black and my brother Thomas. It was a way we could honor JT at the same time. Jacob always had a special meaning to me. I could never figure out what the kid had to do with shit. But we were still close. I talk to him on the phone all the time. He took over as Chief of his tribe and has a bunch of his own little Indians now.

"Well I'm technically telling you Jacob Thomas, if you don't stop torturing your little sister. You will be grounded from video games until you graduate from high school. Now sit down and eat your breakfast."

Mama had spoken and the situation was under control. So I went to deal with the next problem, Abel.

The music was blaring from outside his bedroom door. I knocked and he never answered. So I banged loud on the son of bitch until he came to the door.

"Can you turn off the music please? I wanna talk to you."

"About what?"

"You can't miss school anymore. Your principal called this morning Abel. You're gonna fail. You need to get an education first. Then if you wanna patch into the club we can talk about."

"You didn't finish school. So why do I have too? I hate school. The club is where I belong Dad. Like you and JT."

"I've made so many mistakes in my life son. You got no idea. Maybe after you read this you will though."

Abel tossed my and JT's journal on his bed. I wasn't sure if he would even open them. Let alone read them.

"If you miss school again you won't ever patch into the club. You can count on that Abel. JT wasn't here to kick my ass when I needed it. But I am yours and this is the way it is."

Of course he didn't like what I had to say. I realized it was don't do as I have done but do as I say thing. It's what being a good leader and father does when he has to.

"After you read those, we can talk about it. I'll answer any questions you have. I wish I could have set down with my old man and talked shit through with him." It was a catch twenty two by telling Abel my truths. It could push him deeper into the club. Or in the other direction, he would see what kind of man I really was. And he would hate me for it.

When I made my way back to the kitchen table Charlie had already arrived. "Thanks for taking Gracie and JT to school for me."

"No problem Bells. You know how much I love the kids."

Charlie was good to my children. He took Abel and JT fishing with him as much as he could get them to go. He treated Gracie like a little princess. I've even seen him play tea party with her. Our relationship has gotten better too over the years.

It helped when he retired from being the Sheriff of Charming. He stopped threatening to lock me up and I quit acting like I gave a damn about what he thought. Now when we move, he decides he needs a change of scenery and does too. I couldn't be more thrilled he loves his daughter and grandchildren enough to always want to be there for them. I just have to dance around the truth when he was around sometimes.

"Dad said he will watch the kids tonight. How about a long country road bike ride with me?"

"I'd love that Bella. You know I couldn't do this without you right?"

"I know. But I still like hearing it."

Abel came breezing through the kitchen. Grabbed an apple and a juice.

"Promise me you will go straight to school and you won't be late."

"I will Mom."

"I love you baby."

She was a great mom to my children. Abel was her son too, no doubt about it. She raised them all the same, loved them all the same and fought for them like a protective mama bear.

"I love you too."

Bella made sure Abel knew about Wendy. She even went with him a few times to visit Wendy. Bella never wanted to take his choices away like ours were from us.

She kept telling me it would be fine. Let Abel make up his own mind. I was afraid we would lose him and he would someday take off to live with Wendy. But Bella insisted we would lose him if we lied and he found out the truth. That I didn't wanna be like Gemma and hide it from him. So we did it Bella's way and it worked out.

"I gotta go babe. I'll see you tonight."

Abel was getting on his bike when I was getting on mine. It was another thing Bella sold me on, letting him ride. I was afraid it would push him in that downward spiral to hell and I couldn't pull him out of it. But Bella insisted if Abel became part of the SOA we would deal with it, be there for him and it was part of his destiny we couldn't change.

"You get your ass to school and don't be late. I love you son."

"I love you too Dad."

No matter what kind of man Abel turned out to be, I would be proud of him.

**~~~Emmett~~~**

After everything happened, nothing was the same again between us. Bella still had a love for me she showed and it was obvious. But her love and loyalty for Jackson was greater.

Every time I was around, Jackson would only stare at me, then have somewhere to go. He didn't only hate me, he loathed me. He blamed me for the death of their unborn child and all the other shit that went along with it. The only thing that kept him from telling me so was Bella and Abel. But it confused Abel my being around.

One day I was holding him and with a slip of his innocent tongue; he called me Daddy. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do but, it had to be done. I was tearing Bella's family apart. Even though she would always say it was fine and Jackson would come around. But he wasn't ever going to. It wasn't like I blamed him; it was the curse I had to live with.

With a note of goodbye, I slipped away from Bella and was never seen by her again. It felt like I was ripping her old wounds open from what my family had done to her before. She was aging with Jackson and Abel, living what her life was supposed to be. But I still remained the same. So I made the others promise me they had to disappear for good this time from her life. As long as we were around, chaos would always follow for her and her family.

We never knew what happened to Victoria. She was the only one we didn't kill that night. Years had passed without a trace of her coming back. Bella never knew but, I was still there protecting her. I would see her from the opened window sometimes. A few times I heard her calling my name and saying she still cared. So many nights I wanted her to know I did too but, I couldn't.

After watching how big her belly had gotten to be when she was pregnant and the love she shared with Jackson. I knew I did the right thing. It wasn't just Bella I watched over, it was Abel too.

I was there when he learned to ride his bicycle. For his first day of school and when he had his first fight on the play ground. I was sitting in the stands for his peewee football game. His eyes met mine and I swore for a split second, he knew who I was. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part.

One night when I was running back from Charming, I smelled a lot of blood. I followed the scent to the woods. A woman lay on the ground bleeding and suffering. I ran with her as fast as I could to Carlisle. He saved her life. When I found the ones who raped, beat her and left for her dead; I took their lives without remorse.

Every day after that I got closer to Jessica. I sat by her bed until her strength returned. I read her books; we talked for hours at a time. She had a calming effect on me. Even when she knew about my secret, she still loved me. There was no fear from her because of what I was. We have no secrets between us either.

Jessica reminded me of Bella in some ways. To them I was a just a man not a killer, a demon or cold hearted death. Jessica and I grew so close. I would only leave her to go check on Bella and Abel. Although she never cared and told me to go because they needed me. I did that until one day when I went, they were gone. The house was empty and there was no trace of them anywhere. Jackson was no longer a part of the club.

It felt like someone had detached a part of my heart. These days Jessica had filled that void and at times I felt the warmth, I missed from my so called life. We married a year after that. It didn't matter she was a human. For her just being with me was enough.

Shortly afterwards I got the news, she was pregnant with my child. A miracle of life I never thought I would get to experience. Was it God giving me a second chance? Was I truly forgiven for my sins? I didn't know for sure and I didn't care at that point. I would be the best father I could be. I was the happiest vampire on earth.

Until the fatal moment came when Jessica was giving birth to our daughter, Samantha. It was too much for a human to let another demon like me out of her womb. Jessica's heart failed and quit beating. My existence was over without her. I promised I wouldn't change her but, I lied. It wasn't her blood I craved; it was for her to be with me forever. In some ways if I hadn't cared for Bella so much, I wouldn't have the happiness I do today.

With Samantha in my arms I set by the bed waiting for Jessica to come to life again. When she sat up, my old dead heart did leaps inside my cold body. My family was complete.

We have to stay on the move because Samantha grows so rapidly. We can't let the humans know our secret. So we pretend to be her brother and sister instead of her parents. The others follow where we go so they can be close to her. Alice and Jasper spoil her rotten. Carlisle and Esme were always the dotting grandparents. This little girl has repaired the Cullen family and made us whole again.

But when Samantha walked down the stairs in what she planned on wearing to school, I wanted to scream. She might look like a teenage girl, but she was still my little girl.

"Oh hell no young lady. You go back upstairs and change right now."

"Why?"

"Because it looks like you are wearing underwear and you will not dress that way."

"Everybody dress like this."

"I'm not every one else's father. So you go change."

"Mom."

"What's going on?"

"Look at what your daughter plans on wearing to school."

"Dad is being over protective again."

"Samantha wear something else because it upsets your father."

She stomped back up the stairs under protest. Jessica took me by the hand so we could talk outside.

"Emmett you know how hard it is on her moving around all the time. She is just trying to fit it with the other kids. Sam is stuck in the middle of being a human and a vampire with no true balance. You have to face the fact she is growing up and fast."

"She can still fit in with more clothes on. Do you know what the boys will think when they look at her?"

"Is that what this is really about, boys? The day is going to come when she will meet..."

"Nope. Not happening. I forbid it."

"Do you know how adorable you really are when you think you can forbid something you have no control over? Go tell your daughter goodbye before she leaves for school."

The tires were stretching as Samantha pulled out of the driveway. I would let her cool off a little before I called her to tell her I was sorry and how much I loved her.

Jessica was smiling when I was fumbling around with my cell phone. "Just call her already." Damn her, she knew me all to well.

"Hey sweetheart. I'm sorry about this morning. What the hell is that noise?"

"Um..nothing."

"You better tell me before I come to where you are."

"It's no big deal. I had a flat tire. Please do not come here and embarrass me."

I heard another voice in the back ground, a male voice. "Do you need help?"

"I have a flat."

"I'll change it for you. If you want me to?" There was that damn male talking again around my little girl.

"Who in the hell is that Samantha?"

"It's nobody Daddy." Then she whispered so only I could hear it. "It's a boy I like. So please don't come here."

"You better tell me who it is right now young lady. Or I'm coming."

"Abel Teller."

"Oh shit."

**THE REAPER APPEARS...THE END!**

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